The Perfect Season

Playoff Pick'em Conference Championships

2008-01-18T00:31:00.000-08:00

Well, after my undefeated first week, Durden and I were together on all the games last week which resulted in a whopping 1 win (thanks Giants).

Fortunately for you guys, I'm guaranteeing we will not get 3 games wrong again this week.

Sure, the NFL and all the broadcasters have a hard on at the mere thought of Tom Brady up against Brett Favre in the Super Bowl, with a perfect season on the line. But I’m rooting for the “these two quarterbacks were traded for each other just four years ago and now they’re playing against each other in the Super Bowl” storylines.

In case there was any doubt about what the underdogs are up against this week, let’s take a look at what Vegas has to say about the games… A $100 dollar parlay on the Chargers/Giants to both win outright would win you close to $3,000. Mmhmm, sooo there's that...

San Diego Chargers @ New England Patriots -14
Durden: Philip Rivers on the perception that he has a big mouth: "I'm aware of it. I really don't get too caught up in it. It's kind of surprising, really, to be honest with you. But, again, I'm out there having a good time as I did in the backyard since I was 5 years old. Why is it that when Brett Favre acts like a child, he’s made into a national hero?” OK, I made up that last statement but it’s true!

Interestingly enough, Rivers has become the closest thing these playoffs have had to a villain, and yet could also be close to our last hope at ending New England’s run.

Unfortunately, I just don’t think they were winning this game even with LDT and Gates being healthy, which they’re not. In my opinion, their only hope is to put Cromartie on Moss without help all game long, and go after Brady. Of course, Ted Cottrell has been reluctant to blitz with Merriman and Phillips but it probably won’t matter if they don’t opt for this type of game plan.
Pick: Patriots -14

Mazzone: First Tony Romo's trip to Mexico ruins Dallas' season and now Randy Moss beating on some women will destroy the Patriots' season. That's my story and I'm sticking to it, sort of...

Way back in the first half of the season Bill Simmons mentioned how the Dolphins trading Chris Chambers to the Chargers was part of an elaborate plan to keep the Patriots from an undefeated season. We all thought he was just being his usual jackass self in not recognizing that, at the time of the trade, the Patriots had already destroyed the Chargers and still had the Dolphins left on their schedule – thus actually aiding the Patriots efforts at an undefeated regular season.

But now, now the Dolphins glorious plan is falling into place. Gates is hobbling, Tomlinson is limping, Rivers is banged up, but Chambers… Chambers is full speed and ready to dominate the AFC Championship game just as the Dolphins had hoped when they traded him.

On a more serious note, it could probably go without saying that the Chargers have little chance of escaping New England with a win. But we said the same last week and Igor Olshansky will tell you otherwise, they certainly have enough motivation (history between the teams, the Patriots being unbeaten, oh yea and a trip to the Super Bowl…kind of a big deal too) and they have the talent on both sides of the ball to get it done as well. It’s not like they don’t stack up well with the Ravens, Eagles, Colts, and Giants who have given the Pats some trouble.

I don’t truly believe the Chargers will win this game (mostly because Rivers usually sucks when he's healthy let alone with a bum knee), but being a fan of Chris Chambers, loathing the Patriots and their shot at a perfect season, and now living in San Diego, it’s pretty easy to root almost as if it we’re the Miami Football Dolphins in the championship game. So, here’s to Merriman passing around the steroids this week and to me regaining my belief in football.
Pick: SUPER Chargers +14

New York Giants @ Green Bay Packers -7.5
Oh my gawd, did you see Brett ~~gun~~sling a snowball at Donald last week?!?! It was like two little…wait for it…LITTLE KIDS!!!!!

OK, this one’s gonna be a good one, because like I said last week, none of these NFC teams should be favored by more than a touchdown over each other. While I do think the Packers will win, it may be a lot to ask for Green Bay to keep carrying Brett Favre, especially if the real Favre shows up and starts throwing balls up for grabs.

Regardless though, the Giants actually have a great shot to win and this is the game you’re going to want to get your popcorn ready for. Just don’t eat TO’s because that’s not fair, man. If you guys do that, it’s really unfair. It’s really unfair, man. That’s his popcorn…man. And don’t worry Cowboy fans, rumor has it that Jessica Simpson will not be at the game, so you’ll have to blame someone else if Dallas doesn’t win this one.
Pick: Giants +7.5

Mazzone: Last week I showed you a video of ~~a children’s cult~~ cute little kids willingly dressed in Green Bay gear and singing about their beloved Pack. Here’s what happens if you don’t participate.

It’s going to be difficult to win in the snow, in Lambeau, without Seinfeld, and with Favre sliding around and tossing no look shovel passes like he’s a kid on the playground, but hopefully the Giants are up to the task.

I’m enjoying the Giants postseason run for a few reasons. First, I mentioned them as a possible Super Bowl team earlier in the year. Second, now that I left New Jersey for the West Coast, the Giants winning some games is much more tolerable. Especially since most Giants’ fans (up until two weeks ago) hate Eli Manning, as does the media - at least compared to Favre/Brady. I also love the aspect of every single drive from here until he wins a Super Bowl being a “defining drive in Eli Manning’s career.” At last count he’s up to 39 career defining drives and should be good for a few more this weekend. And lastly, it's nice to see the football Gods rewarding the Giants for actually giving a crap against the Patriots.

And nobody gives a crap more than Osi Umenyiora, literally. Whether that story is true or not, let’s hope he celebrates each and every sack by shitting all over Brett Favre.
Pick: Giants +7.5

Enjoy the games and believe in football.

Playoff Pick 'em Week 2

2008-01-11T12:14:00.000-08:00

Alright, I'm coming off a 3-0-1 week in the first round and feel invincible heading into round two. Durden only missed the 'Skins game last week, but it's not his fault that Sean Taylor's ghost gave up late in the game, no one could have predicted that.

On to the games, where oddly enough our picks are identical this week so 4-0 is pretty much guaranteed! Enjoy your winnings...

Seattle Seahawks @ Green Bay Packers -7.5
Durden: Brett Favre says he plans to return for an 18th season in 2008. "I want to continue the streak and winning," Favre told the Biloxi Sun Herald. "When I talk about the streak, it's not the consecutive starts; it's the hot streak we are on." Of course that’s all it is, Brett, we believe you. As for the game, I maintain that it’s hard to know which Seattle team will show up from week to week. However, assuming the Seahawks show up at all, the difference between these two teams is marginal. We want the points and we’re going to win!
Pick: Seahawks +7.5

Mazzone: I was figuring the Packers for a blowout in this game all week, but a couple things - completely unrelated to the actual game/matchup - changed my mind. The first is that I still absolutely love “We want the ball and we’re gonna score!” That’s the stuff legends are made of and it’s just plain fun. So it didn’t work out, Hasselbeck is still ok in my book for now and forever. Without that moment he’d have just been another above average but mostly irrelevant QB on another above average but mostly irrelevant team and I’d have no problem laying the points. As for the other thing that made me want to take the Seahawks, here you go. If you’re not from Green Bay, be ready to throw up…
Pick: Seahawks +7.5

Jacksonville Jaguars @ New England Patriots -13.5
Durden: Fred Taylor initially considered turning down a Pro Bowl invitation if either Tomlinson, Addai or Parker couldn't make the trip for the Feb. 10 game -- he even said "maybe the Pro Bowl doesn't deserve Fred Taylor" -- but his wife convinced him otherwise. Boooo, Fred Taylor’s wife. That was the best 3^rd person proclamation I’ve heard in a long time.

Anyway, this is the matchup I was hoping for, as I felt the Jaguars had a better shot to beat the Pats than the Steelers or Titans did. Were it not for the Jags’ meltdown last week, my wishful thinking was all I needed to pick them here. Unfortunately, that second half scared me enough to go with New England instead. I really hope I’m wrong, but the Patriots are coming off an extra week of rest and preparation for the first time all season. Worse for Jacksonville, NE won’t be forcing passes just to break records and is free to just play its game, for the first time in weeks. That concerns me more than anything.
Pick: Patriots -13.5

**Editors note: Fred Taylor is very underrated as far as being quotable - “maybe the Pro Bowl doesn’t deserve Fred Taylor” is solid, and "I didn't think I needed a shrink. I'm not a nut case. But I told them, I'll do it anyway. If it's free, it's me." Is downright spectacular.

Mazzone: Last week’s game with the Steelers was pretty much a repeat of the first matchup and while most will say the Jaguars were lucky to escape, I’m more inclined to give them credit for surviving. It’s not easy to beat a team twice on the road in a few short weeks, especially in a playoff atmosphere during a close game. Nonetheless, I’m sticking by my “playoffs are where game managers go to die” theory. Garrard almost cost them the game last week with the interceptions that let the Steelers back in the game and he only made one real big play and had a little help from the officials on that one. You can’t make mistakes and you have to make big plays to come close against the Pats. You better believe they are going to sell out on stopping MJD/Fred Taylor and force Garrard to beat them. I think this one gets ugly in a hurry unless one of two things happens. The Jags get big special teams plays from MJD, or the Pats/Brady just come out explicably slow.
Pick: Patriots -13.5

San Diego Chargers @ Indianapolis Colts -9
Durden: Not only am I deferring my wishful thinking pick to the Colts here, but the absence of Antonio Gates makes this a no-brainer for me. Indy needs to look strong in this one because they represent our (the free world’s) last hope.
Pick: Colts -9

Mazzone: Prior to the playoffs I had future bets on both these teams to win the Super Bowl, but much more significant one on the Colts (because this team is significantly better than last year's that won the Championship), so I’m partial here.

That being said, Marvin Harrison is back for the Colts, and Antonio Gates is out for the Chargers making this an easy pick for me, despite rooting for Chambers to be successful. If they played in San Diego and Gates was healthy they may have had a shot. As it stands, this one’s not even going to be close. I’m just rooting for a nice friendly scrimmage where Peyton and Marvin can get their timing down and everyone stays healthy so they can go into New England and take care of business.
Pick: Colts -9

New York Giants @ Dallas Cowboys -7.5
Forget whatshername for a second. It may interest Terry Bradshaw, but I really don’t care what Romo, Witten and her father do with her in Mexico. I still simply refuse to believe Tony Romo is as good as everyone else seems to think he is.

What I am curious to see, is which receiver in this game plays up his injury more. Between Plax pretending to be hurt all year and letting us all know about it, TO’s latest injury, and Terry Glenn possibly playing for the first time all year, it’s going to be a heated battle for sure. I’m sure TO is less than 100% though, so I’m looking forward to seeing how great Romo is if the Giants do an adequate job of covering Witten. So if you haven’t figured it out yet, I’m taking the Giants. Really though, I just don’t think any NFC team should be favored by 7 or more in the playoffs.
Pick: Giants +7.5

Mazzone: As much as the pictures of Romo fumbling the snap and crying would be amusing, there isn’t any part of me that wants to see a Dallas/Seahawks rematch. At the same time I don’t think I could tolerate Romo/Favre either. The solution… Let’s Go Eli!!!!!!!!!

This week’s trendy pick makes sense on a few levels, but probably not the most important one. The Cowboys are simply the better team, not to mention they’re healthier, even with TO hobbled – we’ve seen him perform on one leg before, so this shouldn’t be a big deal. Also, the Giants are coming off essentially three playoff/grueling games with big implications in a row, do they have anything left?

Recently, I heard Julius Jones was a great change of pace back for Marion Barber. Yea, something like that. I propose calling Julius Jones the first ever game manager at the running back position. He’ll get you 3-4 yards for the most part and won’t fumble, but don’t expect much more.

So, we know the Giants can get to Romo, and we know there’s a chance TO could struggle or re-injure himself. We also know the Cowboys insist on giving Julius Jones 10-15 touches a game. Since he’s a game manager now and the playoffs are where game managers go to die, you gotta like the Giants here.

Besides, it’d be fitting for Romo’s legacy to follow up last year’s fumble with another gut-wrenching loss this season. And the media has already started second guessing and writing the obligatory “should Tony Romo have spent the week having sex with Jessica Simpson in Mexico when he could have spent the week having sex with Jessica Simpson in Dallas?” articles.
Pick: Giants +7.5

Playoff Pick'em!

2008-01-03T22:25:00.000-08:00

Well, I finished the season as poorly as I started, but at least I can take solace in the fact that no self respecting gambler would bet serious money on the last week of the regular season. The 5-10-1 finish was the perfect end to an embarrassing pick’em performance and pushed me under .500 season (121-124-11).

Next to me, Durden looks like a genius sitting at just under 53 percent for the year (135-110-11). A minor victory in a solid, but disappointing season that saw him finish second in both his fantasy leagues (including a 15-0 team losing in the finals), and finishing 3^rd in his survivor pool.

Fortunately, for the good of our readers, we’ve decided to continue with the postseason picks, and if you know what’s good for you, you’ll bet with Durden in the games we have different and make some money.

Washington Redskins @ Seattle Seahawks -3.5
Durden: Todd Collins is so old, when he was in school, there was no history class. He’s so old, that when he was born, the Dead Sea was just getting sick. And yet as long as he gets adequate protection, he’s going to lead the Redskins to a win, as they’re hitting their stride at just the right time. Of course, the Seahawks are fully capable of winning this game at home if they decide to show up, but they’re also the most consistently inconsistent team in the league. I’m sick of them getting a free pass to the playoffs every year because of their weak division, and I think the Redskins will expose them for the frauds that they are.
Pick: Redskins +3.5

Mazzone: Sean Taylor was the first player ever voted to the Pro Bowl team posthumously and now he’s been replaced. That alone doesn’t make much sense to me. Toss in that it’s Roy Williams taking his spot and I can’t help but think that’s a slap in the face. Not only is Roy Williams not too fond of covering people, but he also can’t tackle legally anymore with the institution of the Roy Williams horse collar rule a couple years ago.

Anyway, I wanted to pick the Redskins, and I still may by the time I place my bet on Saturday, but for now it’s tough not to like Seattle who’s something along the lines of 24-3 at home, including the playoffs (3-0). So, I’m going with the Seahawks in this game, but leaving the option open to posthumously vote the Redskins back in next week…and maybe even replace them with the Vikings.
Pick: Seahawks -3.5

Jacksonville Jaguars @ Pittsburgh Steelers +2
Durden: Remember when the Steelers were supposed to challenge the Pats for AFC supremacy? Hey Pittsburgh: enjoy those low draft picks and the first place schedule next year, with nothing but a lousy performance in the wild card round to show for it.
Pick: Jaguars -2

Mazzone: Everyone wants to see Jags/Patriots. The Jags manhandled Pittsburgh, in Pittsburgh weather, on a terrible field last time they were in town. This time the McBeams will be without Willie Parker, and the offensive line is banged up as well. Roethlisberger is already among the most hurried/hit/sacked qbs in the NFL and could be in for a long day. So obviously I’m taking the Steelers… what?!

I don’t think they’ll take too kindly to being underdogs at home. Also, the playoffs are where “game managers” at the QB position go to die, with exception of the great Trent Dilfer. So, I expect Garrard to not be able to come up with the big play when needed, or turn the ball over in a big spot. On the flipside, I like Roethlisberger to Santonio Holmes for some big plays to spark the crowd and open up the running game, maybe a quadruple reverse into a forward pass or something else festive that we’ve come to expect from Pittsburgh. Ok, once I start using “on the flipside” to transition, I know it’s time to move onto another game…
Pick: Steelers +2

New York Giants @ Tampa Bay Buccaneers -3
Is Tampa trying to draw the ire of the football gods? Between not really playing out their schedule, and trying to keep all 4 Giant fans who were interested in going from attending this Saturday’s game, it would appear that they’re not interested in positive karmic forces. Meanwhile, Burress has stopped pretending he’s hurt, and the Giants have been mostly impressive over the course of their last 5 quarters. The Bucs stops here!
Pick: Giants +3

Mazzone: This is the trendy pick for the upset special (since the Jags are favored) and it’s easy to see why. It’s the ideal matchup for the Giants because Eli can play like absolute crap and they could still win since the Bucs don’t typically put up a lot of points - especially against a defense like the Giants’. I think the Giants will pull this one out. I just haven’t decided if they squeak out a win with Eli playing poorly or if he plays great this week to get everyone’s hopes up and then shits the bed next week. Either way I think we’re looking at a couple playoff games of analysts saying “If Eli manning is ever going to be a star and lead this team he needs to step up and do it today by playing well”. Roughly games 15 and 16 of his career where he “needs to prove he’s an elite qb”.

And if that's not good enough, this video should do the trick, as Tecmo Bowl has never lied to or let anyone down...ever.
Pick: Giants +3

Tennessee Titans @ San Diego Chargers -9
I was initially inclined to give the Titans these points, but I just couldn’t ignore how underwhelming they were against the Jets and then the Colts’ backups. To make matters worse, their pass game has since lost multiple weapons (for lack of a better word) , which is the last thing an already anemic “attack” needed. Not even Albert Haynesworth putting his foot down will be enough.
Pick: Chargers -9

Mazzone: The discrepancy in the defensive numbers, both team and individual, with Haynesworth vs. without is astounding. He’s an absolute animal and really does make everyone around him better. And with Vince Young always winning big games this should be a piece of cake for the Titans, but the Chargers are hot at the right time and dominant at home. Neither of these QB’s should be allowed to throw it more than 15 times, but at least Rivers has several guys who will go up and make plays for him. I feel good about the Titans being one and done, the question is whether or not they keep it close enough to cover. I have visions of Vince Young sitting by himself and pouting - maybe even pulling himself out with an ‘injury’ after getting hit over and over again, so…
Pick: Chargers -9

Week 17 Pick 'em

2007-12-30T00:08:00.000-08:00

I gained 4 games on Durden last week and we're both looking at seasons above .500, but nothing to really get excited about.

I'd like to preface these picks by saying I don't even know who's actually going to play for most of the teams so to quote the Gin Blossoms, "don't expect too much from me and you might not be let down".

Also, anyone who bets significant money on these games is an idiot, and you're probably the same person that bets on preseason games. But, we have a job to do, so here are our week 17 picks.

New England Patriots @ New York Giants +13.5
Durden: Regardless of what happens, it’s important that everyone remembers this.
Pick: Patriots -13.5

Mazzone: Please God, let them lose in the playoffs.
Pick: Patriots -13.5

Buffalo Bills @ Philadelphia Eagles -7.5
Durden: Too little, too late, for the Eagles. It’s too bad, because while I fully expect Dallas and Green Bay to meet in the NFC Championship game, I think Philly is playing better than the other NFC playoff teams and would’ve stood the best chance to upset that scenario. Pick: Eagles -7.5

Mazzone: Trent Edwards dedicated last week’s game to Kevin Everett, or at least the first two drives anyway. With that out of the way and much less pressure this week, he should be able to keep it close with the iggles.
Pick: Bills +7.5

Carolina Panthers @ Tampa Bay Buccaneers +2.5
Durden: This game is the first of several this week, where we have to guess if either team is resting its key players and/or is at all motivated. Fortunately, Jon Gruden threw us all a bone this week and made it known he’ll be resting his starters. I’ll take Matt Moore and the rest of the pesky (of late) Panthers.
Pick: Panthers -2.5

Mazzone: Even against the Bucs C-team, I just don’t feel comfortable taking the Panthers and some guy I’ve never actually seen throw an NFL pass.
Pick: Bucs +2.5

Cincinnati Bengals @ Miami Dolphins +3
Durden: Tough game for Joey Porter, a guy whose mouth and style is more suited to 7 on 1, than 11 v 11. He and Levi Jones on the field for the first time since that happened will likely be uneventful, but I’m looking forward to Porter at least talking $hit while he’s “held back.”

In other Dolphin news, Bill Parcells recently had this to say about the kind of players he wants: "If football is not their most important thing to them other than their immediate family, then I'm probably not going to be interested in them," Parcells said Friday. "That's the why I am. And I want people around me that are like that." That’s right, Bill Parcells wants players who are on a mission. Unfortunately for John Beck, it’s not THAT kind of mission.
Pick: Bengals -3

Mazzone: All accounts seem to have Cam Cameron not resting his starters this week, a peculiar decision, but one that should pay off with a win.
Pick: Dolphins +3

San Francisco 49ers @ Cleveland Browns -10
Durden: While I would take great pleasure in the Browns not winning a game all year, a close second might have to be them coming this close to the playoffs and having nothing to show for it, but low draft picks. I’ll root happily for them to beat up on the 49ers (who have been forced to play Chris Weinke), as I wait to root like hell for the Titans. Lastly, it appears some people are finally starting to wonder if Derek Anderson actually isn’t the best QB of all time. Good times.
Pick: Browns -10

Mazzone: I’m not going to lie, I think Derek Anderson competing with Kyle Boller in Raven camp next year would make for great tv…or at least youtube. So, I’m rooting for that. Durden’s furious reaction to the signing would just be a bonus.
Pick: Browns -10

Detroit Lions @ Green Bay Packers -4
Durden: I’m guessing the Lions starters are better than the Packers’ backups.
Pick: Lions +4

Mazzone: Durden tells me Aaron Rodgers is better than Brett Favre. I’m on board with that. Help get the word out!
Pick: Packers -4

Jacksonville Jaguars @ Houston Texans -6.5
Durden: I hate to pick against the Jags who are playing incredibly well right now, but I think the Texans will end their season on a high note, while Jacksonville could care less about this game.
Pick: Texans -6.5

Mazzone: I said above .500 wasn’t out of the realm of possibility for my semi sleeper Texans. Well, now it is, but 8-8 in the toughest division in football wouldn’t be a bad season for this team. especially when you consider the injuries on offense throughout the year. I think they win here, but the Jags do enough to cover.
Pick: Jags +6.5

New Orleans Saints @ Chicago Bears +2.5
Durden: At this point, I feel good about my prediction that had the Saints narrowly missing the playoffs. They won’t have to worry about outside help, because they won’t even hold up their own end of the task at Chicago.
Pick: Bears +2.5

Mazzone: What if da Bears were all 14 inches tall? What’s your score of today’s game? Ok, another scenario, da Bears – they don’t make it, their plane is delayed, and the only one who shows up is Ditka.
Pick: Mini Kyle Orton +2.5

Seattle Seahawks @ Atlanta Falcons -2.5
Durden: A few weeks ago, I was forced to start rooting for bad teams to win around the league once I realized the Ravens were going to try and see how many games they could lose in a row. The Seahawks are probably going to rest players in this game, but I’m pretty sure the Falcons have been without key players since August, so that could not matter much. Therefore, I’m just going to pick the Falcons, hoping that they slide past Baltimore in the draft order.
Pick: Falcons -2.5

Mazzone: Warrick Dunn has a year left on his contract and will play football next season, recently saying, “I can’t go out like this.” Yet, he hasn’t demanded to be released or traded, so he must be planning on at least two more years.
Pick: Seahawks +2.5

Kansas City Chiefs @ New York Jets -6
Durden: This is my favorite game of the week, as these are two of the few teams that are as bad as the Ravens, and one will be forced to win. It’s not easy to go from 13-3, to a Top 5 draft pick, but the Ravens just might pull it off with a little luck!
Pick: Chiefs +6

Mazzone: Herman Edwards is back in a big time revenge game with all sorts of draft pick implications and he’s getting 6 points! If you are stupid enough to be a lot of money this week, this has to be the lock of the century of the week!
Pick: Chiefs +6

Minnesota Vikings @ Denver Broncos +3

Durden: In spite of the Vikings’ poor performance last week, I still refuse to pick the Broncos, as promised last week.
Pick: Vikings -3

Mazzone: The Broncos were a complete abomination last week, I should have heeded Durden’s advice. Vikes weren’t any better, but they still have a shot at the postseason and can’t possibly let Tarvaris throw it more than 6 times this week with how bad Denver is against the run. Problem is, even 6 times may be too much with Bailey and Bly waiting.
Pick: Vikings -3

San Diego Chargers @ Oakland Raiders +8
Durden: Philip Rivers is bad at making friends. Pretty cavalier of him, considering his own RB can’t stand to look at him.

I did want to note that while JaMarcus Russell starting makes it easy to pick the Chargers, I think the Raiders are making the right decision. Maybe Lane Kiffin simply has the job security to do so, but I look at a team like the Eagles and wonder why they don’t just give Kolb a game.
Pick: Chargers -8

Mazzone: The Chargers kinda still need this game as a win allows them to lose to the Colts in the 2^nd round, instead of having to fly across country to New England and lose in the cold weather.
Pick: Chargers -8

St. Louis Rams @ Arizona Cardinals -6
Durden: As Mazzone might say, “whatever.”
Pick: Cardinals -6

Mazzone: I couldn’t have said it much better myself, except I like the Rams. As much as one could like the Rams anyway. Maybe what I should say is, I don't like the Cards so it's the Rams by default. Ok, moving on...
Pick: Rams +6

Pittsburgh Steelers @ Baltimore Ravens +4
Durden: Little Ben is smart to sit this one out, as he’s never been able to play a full game vs the Ravens in his career. See Joey Porter? It is possible to be a coward without ganging up and jumping a defenseless man.
Pick: Steelers -4

Mazzone: The Ravens are the new Dolphins.
Pick: Steelers -4

Dallas Cowboys @ Washington Redskins -9
Durden: I’ll have a Todd Collins, please.
Pick: Redskins -9

Mazzone: First the Pro Bowl, now the NFL is trying to vote Sean Taylor’s spirit into the postseason. Fortunately, the Cowboys are playing backups by choice and they’re better than the Redskins backups that they are playing because they have to.
Pick: Cowboys +9

Tennessee Titans @ Indianapolis Colts +6
Durden: Go Titans!!!!!!!!!
Pick: Titans -6

Mazzone: No one really wants the Browns in the playoffs, and Jim Sorgi doesn’t want to be taken seriously, so I expect him to do the right thing. If the booth for this game doesn’t show me Vince Young at Texas and tell me (at least 25 times) how he lives for big games, I’m going to be really disappointed.
Pick: Titans -6

Week 16 Pick 'em

2007-12-20T19:34:00.001-08:00

The Miami Football Dolphins are back! Faith is restored! Believe in football! At least that's what I'm sayin' heading into week 16. Not only that, but I am among those who can now say they were screwed by Jessica Simpson. Like thousands of others, Romo's performance cost me my playoff matchup and I'm now headed to the consolation third place game. The bright side is I've elected to have Cleo Lemon, Greg Camarillo and the Miami Defense lead me into battle, so I'm pretty much assured of a win.

I gained a game on Durden last week, but this competition is all but over as he has a commanding lead 119-95-10 to 107-107-10.

Dallas Cowboys @ Carolina Panthers +10
Mazzone:

"The real me is a southern girl with her Levis on and an open heart
Wish I could save the world, like I was super girl
The real me used to laugh all night lyin' in the grass just talking about love
But lately I've been jaded - life got so complicated..."

Pick: Mr. Jessica Simpson -10

Durden: Damn, the way everyone’s reacting to this, you’d think TO faked a suicide or a something. Hey, it takes a distraction to know one, right?
Pick: Cowboys -10

Cleveland Browns @ Cincinnati Bengals +3
Mazzone: I feel pretty good about the Browns not finishing 11-5, but they should have no trouble with the Niners at home next week. So, that means the Bengals play the role of mini-spoiler this week and prevent Cleveland from clinching a playoff spot with a win. Regardless of the outcome, let's hope they come close repeating the week two 51-45 offensive explosion.
Pick: Bengals +3

Durden: Not only are the Browns and Steelers almost certainly going to the playoffs, but I can’t even take solace in the fact that they’re almost just as certainly not winning the Super Bowl. This of course, is because the *&!@%&# Patriots are likely to eliminate one or both in January, which takes some of the fun out of it.

I hate to pick the Browns to win Sunday and clinch their playoff berth, but if they don’t vs Cincy, they’ll just do it next week vs San Francisco. The inclement weather they’re expecting will hurt the Browns less than it will the Bengals, and it’s an advantage Cleveland probably won’t even need. In other news, I just realized my favorite teams have temporarily become Indy, Jacksonville and San Diego.
Pick: Browns -3

Green Bay Packers @ Chicago Bears +8
Mazzone: So, I guess at some point I have to believe in the Packers but I'm still rooting strongly against a Green Bay/New England Super Bowl.

If I'm a Bears fan I'm trying to talk myself into this season being the result of injuries on defense, but deep down it'd be tough to ignore my complete lack of faith in the QB and RB positions. The best thing going for the Bears is that they play in the NFC, and it's possible the Packers' and Vikings' seasons were mirages.
Pick: Packers -8

Durden: After watching Kyle Orton’s “performance” (for lack of a better word), I fully expected some internet freak to come out with a “Leave Rex Grossman Alone” tape. As bad as the Sex Cannon has been in the past, he just isn’t as bad as Orton, and that was against the worst pass defense in the league. Kampman, Woodson and company are going to have a field day this Sunday.
Pick: Packers -8

Houston Texans @ Indianapolis Colts -7
Mazzone: If they were in any other division in football the Texans would be looking at a pretty successful season, as it stands they're going to end up in last most likely - which bodes well for next year's schedule outside the division at least.

But that's next year, this game seems easy as I don't expect either team to repeat last weeks performance where the Texans handled Denver easily and the Colts struggled mightily to move the ball in Oakland.
Pick: Colts -7

Durden: Disclaimer: the only thing you should take from us on this game is that Mazzone and I have almost always disagreed on the Texans this year, and he’s almost always been right. It wouldn’t be unreasonable to predict the Colts to let up because they’re locked into the 2 seed, but I don’t see it happening.
Pick: Colts -7

Kansas City Chiefs @ Detroit Lions -4.5
Mazzone: If you're forced to watch this one, at least you can compare Dwayne Bowe to Calvin Johnson. Johnson has been far less a factor than I thought he'd be and his inconsistency is disappointing, but I still expect him to develop into a superb wide receiver before all is said and done. Bowe on the other hand has surprised me and he looks like he could be a legit number 1 receiver as well. This one's tough to pick, but the Chiefs have the best player playing in this game (Jared Allen) and we know Herman Edwards plays to win the game, so there's that. Also, God has clearly given up on Jon Kitna and the Lions so...
Pick: Chiefs +4.5

Durden: It’s almost Christmas, but seeing as how God didn’t give the Lions the 10 wins Kitna asked for, is there any hope for the rest of us to get what we asked for? I’m skeptical, but Herm Edwards has a message for us: Get over it!
Pick: Chiefs +4.5

New York Giants @ Buffalo Bills +2.5
Mazzone: Geez, Eli and the Giants look downright pitiful nowadays. I thought the opposite would happen and they'd gel into an NFC championship contender as the season went on. Even so, I've never thought much of the Bills, and their loss in the blizzard last week leaves them with nothing to play for whereas the Giants can clinch a playoff berth with a win.
Pick: Giants -2.5

Durden: Unless the Giants are planning on beating the Patriots next week, they need to beat Buffalo in rainy conditions to control their own playoff destiny. However, they won’t just be up against the rain, as there will be a miracle man in the house. Kevin Everett returns to Ralph Wilson Stadium for the first time since his spinal cord injury, giving new meaning to walking on water.
Pick: Bills +2.5

Oakland Raiders @ Jacksonville Jaguars -13
Mazzone: Count me among the many that were impressed by the Jags convincing win last week. Save for a bad Garrard INT (he's entitled to one) the game was pretty much all Jaguars. Fred Taylor is putting together a solid season which will continue to go unnoticed by the vast majority of fans - even Reggie Williams has shown up at times. The loss of Marcus Stroud hurts their long term playoff chances, but they should have few problems with the Fargas-less Raiders this week.
Pick: Jaguars -13

Durden: This line seems high, but the Jags have been incredibly impressive since losing to the Saints in Week 9. While it doesn’t seem as if the Raiders have quit on their season, I don’t see the mixing and matching of QBs and RBs working out for them very well on the road this Sunday. I did want to point out a (very) little known fact though. Did you know that Justin Fargas is Huggy Bear’s son?? I can’t believe we don’t hear more about that.
Pick: Jaguars -13

Philadelphia Eagles @ New Orleans Saints -3.5
Mazzone: Great matchup for the Eagles, there is no way McNabb doesn't have a huge game against this secondary and you know Andy Reid is going to put the ball in the air.
Pick: Eagles+3.5

Durden: The Eagles are another team that I have just not been able to figure out this year. Therefore, I’m just going to stick to my beliefs from earlier this season, which were that any success the Saints had would be a function of their schedule and that they’d tease people into thinking they were for real, before missing the playoffs.
Pick: Eagles +3.5

Atlanta Falcons @ Arizona Cardinals -10
Mazzone: Whatever.
Pick: Cardinals -10

Durden: It’s funny that the Cardinals are giving anybody 10 points, but that’s what it’s come to for the Falcons. It’s also funny that the biggest loser of the Bobby Petrino Saga may have been Brian Brohm, who is surely less likely to be drafted by the Falcons now. Of course, this might then make me the biggest loser if he falls to the Ravens and they draft him.
Pick: Cardinals -10

Baltimore Ravens @ Seattle Seahawks -10
Mazzone: Durden may win the pick 'em war, but I won the battle! His Ravens lost TPS Bowl I in a thriller, but you can't blame them for not being able to stop Cleo Lemon and Greg Camarillo. Cam Cam had worked with both of them in San Diego and it was only a matter of time before that ex-Charger triad put it all together.

The Ravens seem to have really given up after the loss to the Patriots, and now Troy Smith gets the start which should help them improve upon their draft position.
Pick: Seahawks -10

Durden: While I’ve been quick to point out the Ravens’ injuries and lack of depth, they’ve also clearly given up on their season once the Patriot game didn’t go their way. This was evident for everyone to see as they rolled over against the Dolphins in TPS Bowl I and mailed in another embarrassing performance. Brian Billick may PLAY TO TIE THE GAME, but he won’t be given the chance on Sunday. Thanks guys.
Pick: Seahawks -10

New York Jets @ Tennessee Titans -8.5
Mazzone: The Titans need this win, and they're fortunate to have the Jets on the schedule since Vince Young and company have only beaten one team with a record above .500 (Jax in week 1, 13-10). Even though the Jets are terrible, have nothing to play for, and three of the eight Titans' wins this season are by more than 8 points (Chiefs by 9 last week, the Panthers by 13 in week 8, and the Saints by 17 in week 3), 8.5 still seems a little high to me as I haven't been overly impressed with TN the past couple weeks.
Pick: Jets +8.5

Durden: If I’ve said it once, I’ve said it a million times: Albert Haynesworth sometimes just wins football games!
Pick: Titans -8.5

Tampa Bay Buccaneers @ San Francisco 49ers +6
Mazzone: The Niners win last week could prove to be detrimental to New England's draft position. I'm sure Belichick put in a phone call and persuaded Shaun Hill to stop trying to play hero.
Pick: Bucs -6

Durden: Really Vegas? The 49ers are getting less than a touch? I know you should avoid betting against Shaun Hill at home, at all costs, but I’m going to roll the dice here.
Pick: Buccaneers -6

Miami Dolphins @ New England Patriots -22
Mazzone: As if close calls against AJ Feeley, Kyle Boller, and Chad Pennington weren't enough, we can officially put all the talk to rest about the Patriots being the greatest ever when Cleo Lemon rolls into town and beats them on their own turf.
Pick: Dolphins +22

Durden: As Mazzone wrote in his latest entry, he’s excited. First, his Dolphins finally won their first game in over a year, capped off by a play that rocked Fantasy Playoffs all across the country: Cleo Lemon to Greg Camarillo for 64 yards. Now, they’ve hired Bill Parcells to shop for someone else’s groceries, and I really can’t blame him for being far more excited about the Dolphins than he was a week ago.

However, Mazzone’s not one to stay satisfied for long and he’s fully expecting a win on Sunday, at New England. I couldn’t disagree more, considering that the Pats have been relatively dormant for several weeks now, and we all saw what happened in the first meeting. I don’t think Belichick’s forgotten Don Shula’s comments earlier this year and the Patriots are gonna “wake up” in a big way on Sunday, assuming the weather cooperates.

Finally, I’ll leave you with Vonnie Holliday’s recap of last Sunday’s epic play: "It was like watching one of those plays in slow motion, and it's the Super Bowl and the miraculous catch and all those things," Holliday said. "It was up there like that for us. Maybe not for everybody else, but for us it was up there with all those great catches -- Dwight Clark and all those guys."
Pick: Patriots -22

**Editors Note: Suck it!

Washington Redskins @ Minnesota Vikings -6.5
Mazzone: It's certainly tragic that his life was cut short, but I don't care what anyone says - Sean Taylor's spirit being voted to the Pro Bowl is freakin' lame.

Adrian Peterson continues to make his case to be the number 1 overall fantasy pick next season - let's just hope Madden keeps him off the cover.
Pick: Vikings +6.5

Durden: Unfortunately, it takes an event like this to remind us how important it is to tell our friends and family how much we care about them…before they go to a football game.
Pick: Vikings -6.5

Denver Broncos @ San Diego Chargers -8.5
Mazzone: Regardless of the score, I could see this being a short night for a lot of the Charger starters, with the Division already wrapped up and Merriman/Rivers/Turner already nursing injuries.
Pick: Broncos +8.5

Durden: Not much to say here, except that after last week, I refuse to take the Broncos for the rest of the season.
Pick: Chargers -8.5

Welcome Bill Parcells!

2007-12-20T10:35:00.000-08:00

I'm not saying Bill Parcells is a bandwagoner, but come on. He joins a team that hasn't lost since December 9th, had Jason Taylor named to the pro bowl this week, and Cleo Lemon named the AFC offensive player of the week - not to mention they have an easy game coming up against one of his former teams, the lowly Patriots. Now he's going to try and take credit for all the upcoming success!

In all seriousness though, this is a pretty huge move and I couldn't be more thrilled. Parcells has had success everywhere he's gone, he even made people take the pathetic Jets seriously for a few years.

We've heard about the coaching tree including Belichick, Sean Payton, and Tom Coughlin, but more importantly wherever he's gone he's had an incredible eye for talent and turned some awful teams into Super Bowl contenders extremely quickly.
I was overly optomistic when Saban was brought to town but I hope this is different given Parcells' history and proven success at the NFL level.

A lot of people have been down on Wayne Huizenga for the last several years and most recently for his brief consideration of selling the Dolphins, but I've always been a fan of his as an owner - and his acquisition of Parcells is a great example of why.

For the most part, Huizenga stays out of the way and has little problem throwing money into the team. As evident with Parcells, and Saban previously, he's going to make a strong push to surround himself with the best football execs/coaches available. It hasn't worked out as we'd hoped over the past few years, but unlike other owners he knows he's not a knowledgable football guy and he's simply there to shell out money for the team, pursue the top football execs, and stay in the background otherwise.

Regardless of the outcome of the hiring, as a fan you have to be excited. There was seemingly very little hope for the next several seasons. Sure, you could reach and say the number 1 pick this year, combined with the development of Ginn, Beck, and the health of Ronnie Brown could theoretically help turn the team around fast, but deep down you know that's a long shot at best and likely going to take more than a couple seasons for it all to come together - if it does.

But with Parcells, someone who seemingly wasn't even on the radar and expected to go to the Falcons, all of the sudden signing and having a history of turning around awful teams and making them competitors in no more than a season or two, there's legitimate reason for hope.

I expect him to pretty much start from scratch and bring in his own coaching staff. As much as I like to see people given a chance to succeed, I also won't have any issues with Cam Cam and the rest of the coaches being shown the door considering the results this season and my desire to let Parcells do his thing.

With Parcells in charge there's at least legitimate reason for hope, and that's about as good a Christmas present as a 1-13 team and it's fans could get right now, so I'll take it.

Here's our pick for the Thursday game, rest of the games should be up tomorrow.

Pittsburgh Steelers @ St. Louis Rams +8

Durden: I’m guaranteeing that the Steelers will not cover this spread. Hopefully Mazzone doesn’t bench me if I’m wrong.
Pick: Rams +8

Mazzone: Has a player's career ever ended because of a false prediction? I don't know if Anthony Smith has been this bad all year, but people are certainly taking notice now. He was terrible for the second week in a row during the Steelers loss to the Jags and has thus been benched.

Despite the score line last week, the Steelers were manhandled for the second game in a row. This time at home, in the snow, by a warm weather team without one of their best players (Marcus Stroud). The Steelers are getting cold at the wrong time and it's definitely reason for concern, but I think the Rams will be a nice remedy for them.
Pick: Steelers -8

Week 15 Pick 'em

2007-12-15T21:40:00.000-08:00

Fresh off my successful Vegas trip (despite a brutal start) and both Durden and I coming off a 10-6 week, here are the week 15 picks.

We both lost with the Bengals last night.

Arizona Cardinals @ New Orleans Saints -4
Mazzone: Saints -4
Durden: Saints -4

Atlanta Falcons @ Tampa Bay Buccaneers -13.5
Mazzone: Bucs - 13.5
Durden: Buccaneers -13.5

Baltimore Ravens @ Miami Dolphins +3.5
Mazzone: Dolphins +3.5
Durden: Ravens -3.5

Buffalo Bills @ Cleveland Browns -5.5
Mazzone: Browns -5.5
Durden: Browns -5.5

Green Bay Packers @ St. Louis Rams +10
Mazzone: Packers -10
Durden: Packers -10

Jacksonville Jaguars @ Pittsburgh Steelers -3.5
Mazzone: Steelers -3.5
Durden: Jaguars +3.5

New York Jets @ New England Patriots -23.5
Mazzone: Jets +23.5
Durden: The Weather +23.5

Seattle Seahawks @ Carolina Panthers +7
Mazzone: Seahawks -7
Durden: Seahawks -7

Tennessee Titans @ Kansas City Chiefs +4
Mazzone: Titans -4
Durden: Titans -4

Indianapolis Colts @ Oakland Raiders +10.5
Mazzone: Colts -10.5
Durden: Colts -10.5

Detroit Lions @ San Diego Chargers -10
Mazzone: Lions +10
Durden: Chargers -10

Philadelphia Eagles @ Dallas Cowboys -10.5
Mazzone: Cowboys -10.5
Durden: Cowboys -10.5

Washington Redskins @ New York Giants -5
Mazzone: Giants -5
Durden: Giants -5

Chicago Bears @ Minnesota Vikings -10
Mazzone: Bears +10
Durden: Vikings -10

Thursday Picks

2007-12-13T15:33:00.000-08:00

Denver Broncos @ Houston Texans +1
Durden: Mike Shanahan may have his criticisms, but he not only groomed Gary Kubiak as his protégé, he then lobbied for him to get a head coaching job. Moreover, he let Kubiak take Mike’s own son to Houston for his coaching staff and most importantly, has yet to videotape Kubiak doing anything without his permission. Just further proof that it is possible to be a coach in the NFL, without being a colossal jerk.
Pick: Broncos -1

Mazzone: I'm off to Vegas, so let's try my luck with the Texans, if that works out it should be a nice weekend. I'll mail in the rest of my picks in time for the Sat/Sun games, but no commentary from me this week.
Pick: Texans +1

Week 14 Picks

2007-12-08T00:14:00.000-08:00

Carolina Panthers @ Jacksonville Jaguars -10.5
Mazzone: Last week’s game against the Colts wasn’t as close as the score indicates, and though they’re a really good football team, the Jags still have a little ways to go before being considered with the best. It’s difficult to take the Panthers, but I think 10.5 is tough with a trip to Pittsburgh looming for Jax next week.
Pick: Panthers +10.5

Durden: Before beating up the hapless 49ers last week, the Panthers had ripped off 5 straight losses. I expect them to revert back to form and lose not only on Sunday, but for the remainder of the season. Jacksonville should bounce back big after last week’s loss to Indy, and getting back Marcus Stroud certainly won’t hurt.
Pick: Jaguars -10.5

Dallas Cowboys @ Detroit Lions +10.5
Mazzone: A week ago, I gave the Lions one last chance, but they look like a team that’s done and now they’re without Roy Williams. Dallas is rolling and it seems like only they can keep themselves from representing the NFC in the Super Bowl.
Pick: Cowboys -10.5

Durden: While Detroit is well on its way to a 6 or 7 win season, they did a hell of a job of tricking a lot of us into thinking that they may have been for real. Still, it means Kitna will be wrong about his team winning 10 games this year. Unfortunately for him, that may be nothing compared to the trouble that awaits him this Sunday, as a result of him opening his big mouth.
Pick: Cowboys -10.5

Miami Dolphins @ Buffalo Bills -7
Mazzone: Another easy win for the Dolphins. I just hope they don’t fall into the trap of looking two weeks ahead to the highly anticipated matchup with the Patriots.
Pick: Dolphins +7

Durden: Before last week’s game, Dolphins DT Vonnie Holliday shouted to Jets LB David Bowens, "Today's gonna be our day!" To which Bowens responded, "I bet you felt like that about 11 other teams" Fortunately for Miami, they’re expecting snow in Buffalo on Sunday. Bad weather has already helped slow down Miami’s opponent in games this year, and Buffalo is certainly worse than the Giants or Steelers.
Pick: Dolphins +7

New York Giants @ Philadelphia Eagles -3
Mazzone: Donovan McNabb is BACK! That should lead to quite a bit of my brother’s favorite play in football - Donovan McNabb getting sacked. It’s going to be sad when he’s playing elsewhere next year. Since Kevin Kolb is white, it’s going to take longer for people to turn on him.
Pick: Giants +3

Durden: This game might be the toughest pick of the week. Their first game this season isn’t much help, as the Eagles will have William Thomas, Brian Dawkins and Brian Westbrook this time around, while the Giants will likely be starting Reuben Droughns. Of course, that may not matter as it’s impossible to know which Eagle team will show up this season, but the Giants just haven’t been the same since their loss against the Cowboys. I’ll take the Eagles at home, splitting the season series against the Giants.
Pick: Eagles -3

Oakland Raiders @ Green Bay Packers -10.5
Mazzone: It was actually smart of Favre to leave the Cowboys game early with an injury. Now, if they meet again in the playoffs the team will still have hope. “We played them pretty close without Brett!” Whereas if he had stayed in and continued to play like he was, they would have been blown out and morale would have been low heading into a playoff rematch. That’s why he’s one of the greatest. Raiders have won 2 in a row, they’re due to play like the Raiders again.
Pick: Packers -10.5

Durden: The half point was just what I needed to pick the Raiders and against the Packers, which is always my preference. Plus, with Aaron Rodgers recently getting hurt, Green Bay is down to their 3^rd stringer if Favre really is banged up and gets injured again. Would it kill him to throw back some painkillers?
Pick: Raiders +10.5

Pittsburgh Steelers @ New England Patriots -11
Mazzone: This has all the makings of one of those games where everyone finally starts to doubt the dominant team and they revert back to the machine they were earlier in the year. But at the same time, it’s so easy to hate the Patriots and drum up reasons why they could/should lose. Also, I mentioned a few weeks ago in this column how I thought the Steelers matched up alright and had a shot against the juggernaut. The deciding factor is…how can you possibly go against an Anthony Scott guarantee?!
Pick: Steelers +11

Durden: After close games against the Eagles and Ravens, I think it’s fair to start asking the question. Did the Patriots not have tape on Baltimore and Philly?? However, what they lack in videotape on their opponents, they clearly make up for in help from the officiating. Look for New England to “bounce back” and stick it to Pittsburgh.
Pick: Patriots -11

San Diego Chargers @ Tennessee Titans -1
Mazzone: This is one of the few games I’m really looking forward to watching this week. Haynesworth is back and winning football games for the Titans while Vince Young’s almost looked like a real QB the past few weeks.

At the same time LDT is coming off a huge game and the Chargers are on a roll with the defense flying all over the field. In the end, I’m going with the Titans for a couple reasons: 1) they’re home 2) Philip Rivers, even in his good statistical games, hasn’t looked that impressive and I always feel like he’s going to cost them the game against good defenses.
Pick: Titans -1

Durden: RIP “Albert Haynesworth just wins football games”
Pick: Chargers +1

St. Louis Rams @ Cincinnati Bengals -6.5
Mazzone: I don’t care how bad the Bengals have been, or that the Rams are on a bit of a roll, there is absolutely no way I’m betting on Brock Berlin.
Pick: Bengals -6.5

Durden: Quick, name a DB or two on the Rams. If you couldn’t come up with anything, then I won’t bother asking you to name ones that are actually healthy. Anyways, those are the guys covering Houshmazilli and the Chad this week. I don’t see how the Rams can keep this one close, and that’s before taking into account that the Rams will be without both Marc Bulger and Gus Frerotte. Brock Berlin, enjoy your first career NFL start.
Pick: Bengals -6.5

Tampa Bay Buccaneers @ Houston Texans +3
Mazzone: Gotta continue to give credit to Gruden with this Bucs team. I thought they were going to be pretty awful and then when some key injuries set in I really thought it was going to go downhill. But they’ve beaten everyone they’re supposed to beat (4 losses to – Indy, Seattle, Jax, Detroit when they were decent). There isn’t a team the Bucs shouldn’t beat left on their schedule (@Hou, Atl, @SF, Car) but if they do that, they’ll finish 12-4 with 8 consecutive wins, and I can’t see that happening. I think Houston at home has the best chance of any of the remaining teams to knock off the Bucs.
Pick: Texans +3

Durden: While Sage Rosenfels proved to be serviceable earlier this year, he did so behind an offensive line that was fully intact. This time around, it’s down to at least one third-stringer and the Bucs come into this one on a roll. The Saints gave away the game last week, but I think they’ll take care of this one on their own.
Pick: Buccaneers -3

Arizona Cardinals @ Seattle Seahawks -7
Mazzone: The Cards are running out of weapons and the Seahawks are playing like we thought they would earlier in the year. Regardless of the outcome of this one, with NO, ATL, and STL left on Arizona’s schedule, they’ll likely be in the playoff hunt ‘til the end in the woeful NFC.
Pick: Seahawks -7

Durden: I have to admit, I’m incredibly wary of picking Seattle in a game which could seem them all but clinch the division, on their own. However, it does appear that they’ve been taking care of business on their field this season, while the Cards continue to lose guys on both sides of the ball to injury.
Pick: Seahawks -7

Minnesota Vikings @ San Francisco 49ers +8.5
Mazzone: There’s a lot of talk about Tim Tebow potentially getting snubbed from the Heisman (which he undoubtedly deserves, as much as I like McFadden) because he’s a sophomore. It’ll be a shame if it happens, but certainly not the first time. Adrian Peterson should have won it as a FRESHMAN in ’04. He’s been that much better than everyone else his whole life, no one should be surprised by his NFL success, which will continue against the ‘Niners. In other news, Tarvaris Jackson might not be half bad, to be continued…
Pick: Vikings -8.5

Durden: The 49ers go into games with Frank Gore as their only hope to stay in games. The Vikings’ top rated run defense should remove that hope easily, allowing their suddenly hot offense to take care of the rest.
Pick: Vikings -8.5

Cleveland Browns @ New York Jets +3.5
Mazzone: I’m really pumped for everything about the return of American Gladiators this January. To the point where I don’t think I’d mind in the least if the commercials for it were played more than Frank TV promos and “this is our country” combined.
Pick: Browns -3.5

Durden:
This is an all-new kind of trap game. It’s the “our minds won’t be on the Browns because the beating of a lifetime awaits us next week” game.
Pick: Browns -3.5

Kansas City Chiefs @ Denver Broncos -7
Mazzone: I haven’t been able to figure out Denver all season. Coming in, I thought they were rated too highly by the experts, but I also didn’t think they were as terrible as they looked their first 5 games. KC on the other hand is still bad, but slightly better than I thought they’d be as I had them winning about 3 games or so for the whole season (they’re at 4 with some winnable games left). They’re getting something out of this Kolby Smith character, Tony Gonzalez is still really good and Dwayne Bowe’s legit. I think they’ll at least keep it close enough to make it worth taking the points.
Pick: Chiefs +7

Durden: If Denver wins, it’ll be their first win in three weeks. If Kansas City wins, it’ll be Brodie Croyle’s first win in…ever.
Pick: Broncos -7

Indianapolis Colts @ Baltimore Ravens +9.5
Mazzone: The Ravens followed the Eagles blueprint for almost beating the Patriots to a T, right down to finding a way to give the game away in the fourth quarter. Devastating loss, and it will be interesting to see if they have anything left to give for this one. I’m guessing no, and I can’t really blame them.
Pick: Colts -9.5

Durden: While I really feel the officiating cost the Ravens all game, they also failed to win the game on their own. It’s easy as a fan to complain about that and be miserable over it, but it’s difficult watching your team do the same during and after the game. There’s really no way to predict how the Ravens will come out for this game, but after last weeks’ performance, I gotta keep the faith.
Pick: Ravens +9.5

New Orleans Saints @ Atlanta Falcons +4
Mazzone: Something tells me this wasn’t what the NFL had in mind when they set up a rematch of last season’s Katrina game. Michael Vick is in jail, Deuce McAllister is hurt, Reggie Bush is likely out “with a knee, a shin and a rib”, but hey, I’ve always wanted to root for Chris Redman in prime time.
Pick: Falcons +4

Durden: Somewhere, Inmate #85067 wants to know: Who let the dogs out?!?!?
Pick: Saints -4

NFL Thursday

2007-12-06T14:47:00.000-08:00

Chicago Bears @ Washington Redskins -3
Mazzone: At least this Thursday, it's a game no one really cares to see anyway.

I thought it was a nice gesture on Gibbs' part to honor Sean Taylor by inventing a new way to get an unsportsmanlike conduct penalty, but that probably wasn't the best time for it. Gibbs' alzheimers aside, I'm still picking the Redskins this week. I don't really have a good reason other than I don't think much of either of these two teams, so let's go with the home team.
Pick: 'Skins -3

Durden: Sometimes, tragic events seem to inspire a team, but the Redskins don’t appear to be one of those teams who will be able to use the situation as a positive impetus for their season. The Washington Redskins appear to have been a disjointed organization since Daniel Synder bought them, and never was that more evident than last week, when Joe Gibbs was the last man in the country to know about the “10 man tribute.” It hasn’t been pretty, but the Bears have been in games all season, and they seem to be figuring out things on offense with Grossman and Peterson. I expect the Redskins’ season to continue its downward spiral and their losing streak to reach 5 games.
Pick: Bears +3

Breakdown of the Mets/Nats Trade

2007-12-01T02:16:00.000-08:00

If you’re a Mets fan, you probably fall into one of two classes right now.

1) The trade is an abomination (Kazmir/Zambrano part II) and the organization is clueless.

2) The trade might not, kinda sorta, be all that terrible, depending on how you look at it and let’s wait until Minaya is done with all moves to judge him.

One thing's for sure, I haven’t heard a single person outside of the Mets organization truly lauding the trade from the Mets' perspective, and that should speak volumes right there.

Before giving my personal final assessment I’m going to play both sides of the coin and first spin it as a positive, then look at the negatives.

The Pros:

Starting with Church–
All things considered, Ryan Church should be comparable, if not better, offensively and certainly an upgrade defensively over Lastings Milledge… for next season at least. Church was 35^th in the NL in OPS and SLG. Of the Mets regulars who had enough plate appearances to qualify, that’s good enough to place Church behind only Carlos Beltran and David Wright, despite playing in RFK, a worse hitters park than Shea and with far worse talent around him in the batting order.

Also, while Church had an unfortunate incident regarding religious beliefs, Milledge has had quite a few more incidents and personality conflicts with his teammates/management while attempting to grow up in the New York City spotlight. So in that regard, I think clubhouse/chemistry wise Church and Schneider will probably turn out to be an upgrade over L-Millz.

As for Brian Schneider -
Aside from expecting a decline as he ages, it’s tough to argue against the defensive abilities of Schneider. Even if he declines, he’s a significant upgrade over anything the Mets have had in recent history. Over the past four seasons here are Schneider’s caught stealing percentages and where he ranks in all of baseball:
2007 - 31.2% caught stealing/7^th in MLB
2006 - 30.2%/12^th
2005 - 40.0%/5^th
2004 – 50%/ 1^st

He also hasn’t had a fielding percentage worse than 99.2% since his rookie season. So, in theory, the improved defense and ability to throw runners out should help the pitching staff.

As far as his hitting goes, it’s certainly not pretty, but over the past three seasons, his OPS and SLG are significantly better against right-handed pitchers than lefties. Over the same period of time, Ramon Castro has had a propensity to mash left-handed pitching, so it might not be that terrible of a one-two punch from the 8 spot in the lineup. Furthermore, Schneider’s RBI and HR per at bat numbers are better than those of Paul Lo Duca over the past three seasons. Besides, it’s not like huge offensive production out of the 8 spot/catcher position is a necessity in order to be successful.

So, to close out the positive spin in the most drastic of ways:
In Milledge, the Mets gave up a young player with potential, but also an unproven prospect with character issues. They lost a player with questionable defensive ability, who’s struggled mightily to hit right-handed pitching, or anything not going fast and straight, to be honest. His trade value had seemingly plummeted because other teams noticed these flaws before the Mets did.

In return, they received a significant defensive upgrade at catcher (younger than their previous starter), and an upgrade both defensively and offensively in the OF for the current season.

Prospects are suspects until proven otherwise (just ask the Alex’s – Escobar and Ochoa to name a couple), and if the goal is to win now, to win this season, then this trade clearly is a good move, unless…

You Think The Glass Is Half Empty:
As bad as Milledge currently is against right-handed pitching, Church is even worse against left-handed pitching. It’s to the point where you really can’t even play him.

Last season, he batted .229 with .339 SLG and .655 OPS, compared to his numbers against righties of .287/.506/.866. The big difference between the two is that Milledge is 22, with the potential to improve drastically. At age 29, barring some unforeseen breakout season, we’re probably looking at marginal improvements for Church, at best.

Milledge may have lacked maturity and focus while struggling defensively, but at the age of 22 it should have been expected that he wouldn’t be completely polished when they threw him into the fire. Last I checked, Jose Reyes and countless others had their fair share of growing pains on the way to stardom. Is Church really going to give you THAT much more than Milledge this year? How bout for the next 5 years?

Then there’s Brian Schneider. He’s a really nice guy, like David Eckstein, but like Eckstein, he isn’t much of a ballplayer.

Saying he can’t hit is a gross understatement. He’s practically an automatic out coming off a season where he hit (cringe) .235 with an OPS of .662 and a SLG of .377. Sure, his defensive numbers were spectacular… in ’04 and ’05. The past two seasons, while still solid, he’s dropped off a bit.

Johnny Estrada on the other hand brings a much better bat to the table, and his throwing numbers weren’t terrible in ‘05/’06 (between 29-31%). In 2007, Estrada was terrible throwing guys out, but if you look at his career numbers it seems to be a mirage and the offseason surgery to remove a bone spur in his throwing elbow should get him back to where he was. Is Estrada a bit more of a risk defensively? Absolutely. Is he a phenomenal all around catcher? Of course not, but he’s probably a comparable stop gap, and did I mention the Mets acquired him for virtually nothing (Guillermo Mota)?

Lastly, let’s talk about the myth that Schneider is great at handling pitchers and calling a game. Not only have we heard from a Washington Nationals blogger on the topic, but let’s look at his CERA (Catcher's earned-run average. Earned-run average of club's pitchers with a particular catcher behind the plate).

In ’04 and ’05 he had some success with CERA’s of 3.83 and 3.88 but again, in his past two seasons we see a drastic drop off. In 2006, he was second to last among qualified catchers with a CERA of 5.28 and in 2007 he was 4^th worst with a CERA of 4.79. Naturally, there are a lot of other factors that go into handling a pitching staff and their performance (like talent for example), so I’m not going to kill him on those numbers, but to say Schneider is significantly better than the next guy isn’t really fair either. By comparison, here are Estrada and Lo Duca’s CERA’s over the past four seasons .
Estrada 04-07: 3.77, 3.92, 4.43, 4.45
Lo Duca 04-07: 3.83, 3.79, 4.31, 4.12

So, to close the case for the glass half empty folks:
The Mets gave up one of their most hyped prospects who could have filled a need position for the next several seasons (or at least been traded for something better at some point). Milledge’s quick bat and pure athleticism seemed to have him primed to develop into a premier player – one that would fit perfectly in the lineup with the other young Mets’ studs and provide a great foundation for years to come.

Even if his value had declined, it couldn’t have possibly declined to the point where the return is an aging defensive catcher who can’t hit for anything and a 29 year-old outfielder that you essentially have to platoon because - against lefties - he too is an automatic out. If we ever saw Church-Schneider-Pitcher against a lefty, we may as well concede the inning and save the energy of running in and out of the dugout, as that trio would translate into Rey Ordonez batting three consecutive times. Ok, maybe that’s a bit of an exaggeration, but you get the point.

Did I forget to touch on the fact that the Mets will have to face Milledge 18 times a year for the next 5-10 years?

Final Assessment:
My biggest problem isn’t necessarily the value of the pieces being exchanged in this particular trade, but the apparent thought process behind it (or lack thereof) and as Keith Law said in a recent chat “the mismanagement of assets” by the Mets.

Clearly the Mets’ biggest need is pitching, so the question is why do you make this move before you sort out the rotation and the bullpen? If they fail to land a front line starter, and/or improve the bullpen are they really serious contenders for a World Series title? Probably not, especially if Johan Santana heads to the Red Sox, or the Phillies and Braves improve.

So, why not give Milledge a full season to see what he’s capable of – especially if his trade value had dropped off THAT much (which I find hard to believe considering he’s only 22, showed signs of improvement, and his value was sky high just 12-18 months ago). It would make more sense to give him a shot to prove himself instead of selling low now with all the other question marks surrounding the team.

Also, rumors are that this trade had been discussed for quite some time, with Minaya reluctant to pull the trigger and part with Milledge, so what made now the right time? I doubt teams were banging down the door for Schneider and Church.

They sold low on Milledge and bought high on Church and Schneider (who the Nats overvalued). Let’s say for a second that the Mets have significant reason to believe Milledge isn’t going to pan out. Keep in mind, they’ve already told us that other teams had lost interest in him.

To me, that’s a poor reflection on the Mets organization, the past two seasons we wouldn’t trade Milledge for a high end pitcher (which we are now desperate for) and all of the sudden he’s not even a significant trading chip to keep around while we look at the various options, or consider him for the starting spot in RF? How come other teams realized this before the people watching him day in and day out? Disappointing to say the least.

After the last two seasons, it wouldn’t be fair to totally disregard the pressure the Wilpon’s and Minaya are under to win now, and I think this move clearly illustrates that line of thought.

I’m going to reserve complete judgment until the rest of the moves are made, because acquiring a legit starter or two and improving the bullpen would make this team a serious contender and thus this trade could be more justified as well. I’m more upset with how/when it happened and how it makes me worry about the front office, than the fact that Milledge may have been undervalued a bit (but not nearly as much as most of the die-hard Mets fans would have you believe – this is not Kazmir for Zambrano)

In the meantime, I’m disappointed to see Thrilledge go as I hoped he’d mature into a perfect fit for this Mets team and become a fan favorite for years to come. But, so is the game…good Luck in Washington, I’ll be rooting for you – at least for 144 games of the year or so.

In-N-Out Challenge

2007-11-29T23:20:00.000-08:00

Coming off a week where the Dolphins couldn't get 3 measly points and the Eagles found a way to not only break the hearts of their city as they routinely do, but an entire nation - I don't have too much to say.

So let's get straight to the picks.

Click Clack.

Atlanta Falcons @ St. Louis Rams -3.5
Durden: I’d be a hell of a lot more excited to pick the Rams if Bulger was playing, but I think we’ll just see more of Steven Jackson in turn, and it should be enough. It’s funny to think that this St. Louis team appears to be healthier, only because they’re now losing guys at a slightly slower rate than the others start to come back.
Pick: Rams -3.5

Mazzone: It’s pretty amazing how unappealing the schedule is this week and it starts with Gus Frerotte against whoever the Falcons decide to put out there.
Pick: Rams -3.5

Buffalo Bills @ Washington Redskins -6
Durden: Since I was a kid, I’ve always liked following the University of Miami’s football program, and Sean Taylor was undoubtedly my favorite player to ever come out of the U. I don’t know what it was specifically that intrigued me, but it could’ve been any combination of my fascination with the safety position, his being an athletic freak, his private personality and/or the dark visor. I would go on to name my fantasy football team after him and even come up with a clumsy anagram, WWSTD (What Would Sean Taylor Do), that I’d use for his big plays/games.

Admittedly, it became tougher to root for him as the list of off-the-field issues grew, but it appears he was still able to change his ways at a young age. Unfortunately, his tragic death now leaves those close to him grieving, and the rest of us wondering how great he could have been. I don’t think I ever checked a Miami or Redskins box score without checking to see his defensive stats, and for once, I think Clinton Portis summed something up better than anyone else could:

"Time after time I always told you all that he was the best player I've ever seen," Portis said. "For me to put that jersey on, I can't live up to those expectations. I can't be Sean Taylor, so I wouldn't even try."
Pick: Redskins -6

Mazzone: The sentimental favorite to make a late season run at the playoffs should have no problem with the Bills this week if they can keep their emotions in check.
Pick: ‘Skins -6

Detroit Lions @ Minnesota Vikings -3.5
Durden: Weeks ago, I think I’d have been all over the Lions here, but these teams appear to be headed in opposite directions. Detroit can’t seem to figure out what went wrong on offense, and facing the Vikings’ run D won’t help. Assuming they bottle up KJ, Kitna appears to be in for another day of getting beat up in the pocket. Oh yea, and that Adrian Peterson guy should be back for Minnesota…
Pick: Vikings -3.5

Mazzone: Two teams headed in opposite directions. The Vikings have looked good even without Adrian Peterson and the Lions have lost two straight. There are even unconfirmed rumors that Tarvaris Jackson actually threw a TD pass and only two incompletions (none of which were picked off) against the Giants. I feel like the Vikings are the obvious pick here, at home against the struggling Lions. But, I just can’t bring myself to believe Tarvaris Jackson is the obvious choice to back, and since the Lions love to pick the ball off, I’m going to give them a chance to redeem themselves for coming up short on Thanksgiving.
Pick: Lions +3.5

Houston Texans @ Tennessee Titans -4
Durden: The Texans nearly came back from 25 against the Titans in the first game, and they did so without Matt Schaub and Andre Johnson. Still, I feel obligated to stick with my mantra of “Albert Haynesworth just wins football games.” He’s back, and Tennessee will be too after Sunday.
Pick: Titans -4

Mazzone: Maybe Durden was right and it’s not Vince Young’s crappy QBing that’s been winning games, but Albert Haynesworth’s defense. Even though he's probably back, the Titans just seem to be out of gas, so I’m sticking with the Texans that I thought would finish above .500 and still need a few wins to get there.
Pick: Texans +4

Jacksonville Jaguars @ Indianapolis Colts -6.5
Durden: Since the game against New England, Indianapolis has struggled in large stretches of each of its last 3 games. When you consider that, Indy’s injuries, and how solid Jacksonville has been, this line seems high to me.
Pick: Jaguars +6.5

Mazzone: The Colts have been beat up, but are back on the winning track. Meanwhile, the Jags have been pretty consistent and solid despite all the pre-season turmoil surrounding their QB position. This is one of the few games I’d really like to watch this week, which leads me to believe it will be a disappointment. Colts took care of business the first time around, and I think Peyton should be able to rally the troops for a big game at home.
Pick: Colts -6.5

New York Jets @ Miami Dolphins -1.5
Durden: While I do think Miami can win this game, I’m also not-so-secretly rooting for them to pull it off. Why? Because I want no part of their first win coming against my Ravens.
Pick: Dolphins -1.5

Mazzone: 0-11 and STILL favored over the Jets! Alllllllright Miami!
Pick: Dolphins -1.5

San Diego Chargers @ Kansas City Chiefs +6
Durden: It appears as though the Chargers have come on, enough so that Norv Turner may not be able to screw this up a trip to the playoffs. Kansas City is spiraling after 4 consecutive losses, and I just can’t pick the combination of Brodie Croyle and Kolby Smith against a good team, even at home.
Pick: Chargers -6

Mazzone: I had been telling Durden that the “Open Gates Ahead” street sign outside of Qualcomm had nothing to do with stadium parking and everything to do with Antonio Gates being unstoppable. It couldn’t have been more true last weekend when we watched as the Ravens decided to not even bother trying to cover him. Phil Rivers still isn’t very good and KC is a tough place to play, but I think the Chiefs are terrible.
Pick: Chargers -6

Seattle Seahawks @ Philadelphia Eagles -3
Durden: And just like that, Seattle has begun to separate itself from the rest of the woeful NFC West teams. It’s not pretty and it doesn’t usually make sense, but I’ve come to accept Seattle’s annual trip to the playoffs, as I’ve written before. This means they’re due for a loss to keep it interesting, and the Eagles are a perfect team to take advantage after being America’s team for 59 minutes. Plus, maybe it’s not too late for Shaun Alexander to come back and ruin Seattle’s season, in addition to his and Mo Mo’s fantasy seasons.
Pick: Eagles -3

Mazzone: AJ YOU HAD THEM! THEY WERE WHO WE THOUGHT THEY WERE AND YOU LET ‘EM OFF THE HOOK! I don’t think I’ve ever rooted so hard for a team I wasn’t actually a fan of. I was calling for the Feeley highlights of his victory over the Patriots with the Dolphins early on and when they showed them, I was downright giddy. Greg Lewis was even putting on a show that would have made Mini-Greg Lewis proud if he were still alive today.
The story of Mini-Greg Lewis:

In 2005, Durden and I went in on a few boxes for a Super Bowl pool, and it was Greg Lewis’ improbable 30-yard TD with under 2 minutes to play that made the final score 24-21 and made us the victors. With some of the money we purchased iPods and I named mine Mini-Greg Lewis in honor of the man who brought us the win. Since then, we’ve continued the routine and have won at least 1 quarter in each of the past 3 SB box pools. People insist on calling it luck, but we know better. I’ve since moved on to newer iPods, but I’ll never forget Mini-Greg Lewis and how he changed my life forever.

With that, I’m going with the Seahawks.
Pick: ‘Hawks +3

San Francisco 49ers @ Carolina Panthers -3
Durden: Just a terrible game. I’ve been picking against the Panthers for weeks, and now there’s the added bonus of rooting for the 49ers to win, in hopes of the Patriots getting the worst draft pick possible.
Pick: 49ers +3

Mazzone: Another thriller courtesy of the NFC as the Panthers continue their quest to go winless at home. Hopefully, this is the week Steve Smith explodes and just starts body slamming his teammates and coaches.
Pick: Niners +3

Tampa Bay Buccaneers @ New Orleans Saints -3.5
Durden: I’m not gonna lie, I was all set to continue riding the Bucs with this pick, but it appears they’ll be without Jeff Garcia. Garcia may not be a worldbeater, but he doesn’t turn the ball over and it seems he’s been a perfect fit for their offense. Since I have no idea what they’ll get out of Luke McCowski, I’ll take New Orleans.
Pick: Saints -3.5

Mazzone: Last week the Redskins fumbled the game away to the Bucs, I don’t see the Saints doing the same. Two teams battling for the right to get bounced in the first round of the playoffs. I’d rather see the Saints, and I think they’ll cover this week, but Gruden has to get some props for what he’s done with this Bucs team. They are severely undermanned in terms of talent, but they come to play every week and could pretty much wrap up the division this week with a win.
Pick: Saints -3.5

Cleveland Browns @ Arizona Cardinals -1
Durden: See: Seahawks lucking into the playoffs.
Pick: Browns +1

Mazzone: Seeing Kurt Warner’s patented fumble cost the Cards the game was fun, but Neil Rackers should have never let it get that far. The thing with this game is that I can’t see Cleveland losing to the Jets, Bills, or San Fran, and it’s not like the Bengals are some great threat either. So out of the last 5 games, three wins are practically guaranteed. I can’t see the Browns finishing the season with 11+ wins and reeling off 7 straight to close the seasons, so this seems as good as any for them to stumble.
Pick: Cards -1

Denver Broncos @ Oakland Raiders +3.5
Durden: Denver had been playing well recently and they simply gave the Bears the game last week. Since they’ve been inconsistent this season, I’m cautious about picking them before I see how they bounce back from Sunday’s game. Meanwhile, the Raiders continue to be in nearly every game they play despite their record, so I’ll take the points at home.
Pick: Raiders +3.5

Mazzone: I think the Denver offense might finally be coming around. They also get Javon Walker and possibly Travis Henry back this week. As long as Cutler doesn’t turn the ball over and Hester doesn't suit up for the Raiders, this one should turn into a route pretty quickly.
Pick: Denver -3.5

New York Giants @ Chicago Bears +2
Durden: Here we go again with Plax. It appears he’s now down to one leg, can’t practice…sooo he should be good for 150 yards and a touch. The Giants simply aren’t as bad as they looked last week, while the Bears are as bad as they’ve looked all season.
Pick: Giants -2

Mazzone: It’s being built as Eli vs. Rex, but it’s not a fair fight. Last week’s performance aside, Eli and the Giants are just better on both sides of the ball. The good news for the Bears is that Cedric Benson is finally done for the year, so they don’t have to give him the ball and pretend like they think he’s going to be productive.
Pick: Giants -2

Cincinnati Bengals @ Pittsburgh Steelers -7
Durden: Earlier this season, some were claiming Pittsburgh would be a serious threat to New England while I was pointing out how weak their schedule was. Now with an 11-3 record, but coming off consecutive games decided by 3 points vs the Jets and Dolphins, it appears the truth is not surprisingly somewhere in the middle. Truthfully, I’d been planning on confidently taking the Steelers this week in my Survivor pool, but I’m not so confident after the Bengals blew the Titans out last week. This pick is a lot more wishful thinking than anything else.
Pick: Steelers -7

Mazzone: The Steelers tried their damndest to let the Dolphins win one on that poor excuse for a football field, but to no avail. Some think the Steelers performance last week knocks them down a peg, but if you watched the game the field was truly unplayable and you can't take anything away from it really. They are still a top team and I think the Bengals manhandling of the Titans was more a mirage than it was Cincy all of the sudden discovering themselves.
Pick: Steelers -7

New England Patriots @ Baltimore Ravens +20.5
Durden: Why not? (Don’t answer that.)
Pick: Ravens +20.5

Mazzone: I can’t see the Pats playing two close games in a row, but I’ll be rooting for Kyle Boller and company to pull of the miraculous upset. If there’s anyone who could take out Tom Brady for the rest of the season, it’d be the hard hitting Ravens defense. Maybe Ray-Ray will even bring his knife to the game.
Pick: Patriots -20.5

NFL Thursday

2007-11-28T22:19:00.000-08:00

Supposedly, there's a pretty big football game tonight, unfortunately most of the country won't be able to see it.

Durden added 3 more games to his lead last week as my run of 5 consecutive weeks over .500 came to an end, thanks in large part to my poor showing on Thanksgiving where I believed in the Lions and didn't believe in the Colts.

Green Bay Packers @ Dallas Cowboys -7
Mazzone: I wanted to take the Packers after hearing about how great Aaron Rodgers has been excelling in his role as scout team QB this year. It's just a great story to see him doing well after his draft day embarrassment. Despite not being able to master Tony Romo's "no look pass" yet, he seems like he's having a great time. Except for the week they made him play the role of Vinny Testaverde and he wasn't allowed to leave the pocket. True story.

Anyway, I just think the Cowboys are better and will win comfortably, but if I'm wrong it probably means Jacque Reeves is getting torched. So really, it's a win win for me. That's why I'm looking forward to following along on NFL.com gamecast while watching The Office.

I hate you Time Warner Cable.
Pick: Cowboys -7

Durden: As predicted, the Packers are coming off their 6^th consecutive victory and here I am pulling for the Cowboys. I know the game isn't as easily accessible as it should be, but I think the real story is the folks at the NFL Network having their mouths full slurping on Favre and Romo. Tony's the heir to Brett's throne, but we're still years away from Favre's retirement and the media becoming full-fledged homos for Romo. Therefore, while I think this spread is slightly high, I'm going with a good old-fashioned pick out of spite nonetheless.
Pick: Cowboys -7

Giggity Giggity - Quagmire, Steelers too much for Dolphins

2007-11-27T09:16:00.000-08:00

Blah, another week, another disappointing loss. There's not a whole lot you can say about a game played under those conditions, but here's a couple quick tidbits.

-after just two starts for Beck, there's reason to believe he and Ginn will continue to develop some chemistry together and ultimately have success.

-I've been supportive of Cam Cam since day one, though not agreeing with all his decisions, but clearly he's a rookie coach with a lot of learning to do. 4th and 15 he not only elects to go for it instead of punting, but wastes a timeout to make the decision (and then calls a play action pass as if the steelers were going to bite). Beck was forced to use another timeout early in the second half after not getting the play in on time and the Dolphins were left with just 1 time out in a tie game down the stretch.

-On the positive side, he's handled Beck pretty well so far and trying to put him in situations to be successful (aside from the 4th and 15 call). Most of the pass plays involved max protection to keep him from getting hammered against a talented Steelers D and quick developing patterns so he didn't have to hold it too long.

-Beck returned the favor with good decision making as he hasn't turned the ball over in two road games against solid defenses (Philly, Pittsburgh). For the most part, his accuracy, awareness, and timing seemed to be there last night, despite the conditions and a few drops from the receivers - I'm looking forward to seeing more of him and seeing him develop. It's early, but as of right now there's no reason to think Beck absolutely couldn't be a more than capable starter next season.

-The defense is in shambles, despite not giving up points in the muck, I didn't exactly think they were impressive as they allowed Wet Willie to run for 81 yards and Big Ben to complete 18 of his 21 passes. Hopefully we see a draft heavily skewed toward the defensive side of the ball.

Well, it's always been said, if we win two games all year, let it be against the J.E.T.S. One shot left next week and they are certainly beatable. The Dolphins have lost way too many close games this year, and will hopefully emerge from next week's game as the best 1-11 team in the NFL.

Later tonight/early tomorrow I plan to talk about the Mets offseason pitching options, and maybe I'll even play some devil's advocate for entertainment purposes and talk about why Johan Santana may not be the best option - stay tuned to see if i actually believe that or not.

Week 12 Picks

2007-11-24T23:50:00.000-08:00

With Durden and Keith in town, you guys get screwed out of some entertainment this week since we've been busy hanging out and prepping for the Ravens/Chargers tomorrow we didn't get a chance to go through our usual run down.

One thing to note, I've paid off the current cheeseburger debt (9 as of the end of Thanksgiving Day games). Durden took care of those 9 in a mere day, two separate trips a few hours apart with 4 cheeseburgers the first visit to In-N-Out and 5 the second. good times, hopefully the remainder of the season goes a little better for me.

Here are this weeks picks:

Denver Broncos @ Chicago Bears -2
Mazzone: Broncos +2
Durden: Broncos +2

Tennessee Titans @ Cincinnati Bengals +2
Mazzone: Titans -2
Durden: Bengals +2

Buffalo Bills @ Jacksonville Jaguars -8
Mazzone: Jaguars -8
Durden: Jaguars -8

Oakland Raiders @ Kansas City Chiefs -5
Mazzone: Raiders +5
Durden: Chiefs -5

Houston Texans @ Cleveland Browns -3.5
Mazzone: Texans +3.5
Durden: Texans +3.5

New Orleans Saints @ Carolina Panthers +2.5
Mazzone: Saints -2.5
Durden: Saints -2.5

Minnesota Vikings @ New York Giants -7
Mazzone: Giants -7
Durden: Giants -7

Washington Redskins @ Tampa Bay Buccaneers -3.5
Mazzone: Redskins +3.5
Durden: Buccaneers -3.5

San Francisco 49ers @ Arizona Cardinals -10.5
Mazzone: Cardinals -10.5
Durden: 49ers +10.5

Baltimore Ravens @ San Diego Chargers -9
Mazzone: Chargers -9
Durden: Ravens +9

Philadelphia Eagles @ New England Patriots -24.5
Mazzone: Patriots -24.5
Durden: Patriots -24.5

Miami Dolphins @ Pittsburgh Steelers -16
Mazzone: Dolphins +16
Durden: Dolphins +16

Thanksgiving Spread'em

2007-11-22T00:26:00.001-08:00

Durden and I both went 10-4-2 last week so these games are my last chance to gain some ground before his flight gets in tomorrow and I have to pay up the current 7 In-N-Out cheeseburger deficit.

Happy Thanksgiving to all 4 of my avid readers/fans and enjoy the games.

onto the picks...

click clack.

Green Bay Packers @ Detroit Lions +3.5
Mazzone: Growing up I learned the “never bet against the Lions on Thanksgiving” mantra. I never quite understood it, as it felt like they were always terrible (turns out from 1982-2000 they were 12-7 on Thanksgiving despite finishing .500 or worse 12 times during that same timeframe).

Regardless of how bad they were, or how good the team they were playing against was, it was always fun to see friends and family (heck I probably even did it a couple times) pick against them and shake my head and say “Come on, everyone knows you NEVER bet against the Lions on Thanksgiving,” then we’d all sit down and watch Barry Sanders have a field day, or Scott Mitchell throw for a team-record 410 yards (1995 44-38 win over Minnesota). Even when they lost, it was usually interesting, with only one of the aforementioned seven losses being by more than 7 points.

But, that being said, I’ve been told you’re also not supposed to bet against Brett Favre (especially this season) and besides, the Lions have just ONE win in their last six games on Thanksgiving…

wait for it…

wait for it…

waaaaaaaaaait for it….

that win was November 27^th, 2002
Detroit Lions 22 – Green Bay Packers 14.

Pick: NEVER BET AGAINST THE LIONS ON THANKSGIVING +3.5...when they play the packers

Durden: Brett Favre has suggested that the Packers' success this season could prompt him to return next season. "If last season gave me hope, if I felt optimistic after our Chicago game last year at 8-8 and not making the playoffs, sure, I obviously have to feel a little bit better -- especially individually," Favre said.

Regardless of what he says between now and their inevitable loss in the playoffs, we should all know better and fully anticipate another off-season of ‘will-he-or-won’t-he’ BS. In the meantime, I’m already pulling for the Cowboys to beat them next week after they beat Detroit tomorrow.
Pick: Packers -3.5

New York Jets @ Dallas Cowboys -14.5
Mazzone: My favorite Cowboys Thanksgiving games were 2003 (Jay Fiedler and Chris Chambers lit them up) and of course the 1993 game which I’ll leave to Wikipedia to recap:

On Thanksgiving Day in 1993, during a rare snow and sleet storm in Dallas, the Cowboys were leading the Miami Dolphins 14-13 with mere seconds remaining in the game. The Dolphins attempted a 41-yard field goal to take the lead but the kick was blocked. While most of his teammates began celebrating, Lett attempted to recover the ball but slipped on the ice as he attempted to pick the football up, and Miami recovered the "muff" on the Dallas one yard line. There was no need to pick up the ball as the Cowboys would have automatically received possession and could have simply run out the clock. By touching the ball and then failing to hold onto it, Lett enabled the Dolphins to take possession and then try another field goal. This second attempt was successful and the Dolphins won the game 16-14.

Ah, the good ol’ days, anyway, the Jets suck and in no way will they put together back to back successful performances.
Pick: Dallas -14.5

Durden: Anyone else get a kick out of Randy Moss continuing to upstage “the other #81” last week? Were it not for Moss and the Patriots, you have to imagine TO would be getting a lot more attention than he’s currently getting, and I’m sure the Cowboys’ record is of little consolation to him. I thought about taking the Jets here after a shocking win over the Steelers, but I know I’d regret it after the Cowboys go up 7 on their first possession. Therefore, sign me up for Dallas, and sign Terrell up for the biggest piece of turducken – or whatever it is they’re awarding nowadays.
Pick: Cowboys -14.5

Indianapolis Colts @ Atlanta Falcons -12
Mazzone: If a football game is played on the NFL network but nobody’s cable carrier shows it, does it actually count? My guess is that if Joey Harrington wins, probably not.

Last week, one of the guys I play fantasy football with actually asked me if he should start Schaub vs. New Orleans or Peyton Manning at home vs. the Chiefs. I tried to talk him into Schaub for a bit, but in the end he settled on Peyton as the safer play. To be honest, it was tough to disagree with him, all things considered, but it was his team and not mine, so I had no problem pushing for Schaub against a Saints pass defense I tore apart (just like every QB they’ve played against) in the weekly pick ‘em. I never would have imagined it would turn out as lopsided as it did in favor of Schaub. Just five minutes ago, I got the following instant messages from the same person.

“manning or schaub…my feelings on the two have also reversed [from last week], now i almost feel schaubber is the safe play in a certain shootout vs cleveland. while manning is the thanksgiving home run play vs a potentially imploding birds team”

Has it really come to this for Peyton and the Colts? Sadly, it has, and if I can’t trust the injury depleted Colts to cover a large spread at home against the Chiefs then I don’t feel comfortable with them covering a double digit spread on the road against anyone.
Pick: Falcons +12

Durden: While the Colts’ injury woes are being widely acknowledged, it appears to me that most are choosing to focus on the lack of receiving options, as opposed to the hits the offensive line has taken. This is especially so for Patriot fans, who are giddy that Peyton is having to play with only one reliable receiving option. However, I’d just like to remind the Manning bashers that Brady has never had to deal with a poor offensive line, let alone one so decimated by injuries.

As for this game, it’s not so much that I’m confident in the Colts, because I’m not. I just don’t see how the Falcons can keep this game close, especially if Indy features Addai. Atlanta cut DT Grady Jackson earlier this season, and now they’ve lost two additional defensive tackles this week for the season, with Rod Coleman being the more significant loss. I expect the Colts to put together a solid performance and regroup after this recent tough stretch, in anticipation of their big game next week vs Jacksonville.
Pick: Colts -12

With that, TPS will likely be taking the rest of the week off aside from the picks for Sunday's games. My views on the Mets options on the mound will have to wait 'til early next week as both my brother (Kurse of Keith fame) and Durden will be in town the rest of the week leading up to a trip to Qualcomm for Chargers/Ravens.

Once again, enjoy the holiday and check back later this week for the rest of our picks.

Mets Offseason Update

2007-11-21T08:45:00.001-08:00

If you haven't been following along at Metsblog (shame on you), the Mets recently made their first significant moves of the hot stove season (re-signing Luis Castillo, trading for Johnny Estrada).

There's no need to spend too much time talking about the Estrada trade, it was a no-brainer for the Mets. Many believe the Mets were done with Mota, regardless, and the fans had certainly seen enough of him, so to get anything in return was nice - let alone a starting catcher.

Estrada has bounced around and had some conflict with his team and manager last season, but all things considered I still prefer him to the alternatives, for the following reasons:
a) He was cheap (1 year left on his contract, only cost Mota)
b) He's a switch hitter with a solid bottom of the order bat (despite his low OPS)
c) His defensive numbers could revert back to '05-'06 after having a bone spur removed from his throwing elbow.
d) Younger than the man he's replacing (Lo Duca)

All in all he's a nice compliment to Castro and they didn't have to part with any major trading chips, so they should still be able to land pitching help. The Torrealba deal falling through could turn out to be a blessing in disguise. Even if Estrada doesn't pan out they can cut ties with him at the end of the season and essentially end up not paying anything since the Brewers are picking up Mota's contract.

As far as Castillo goes, I think most Mets fans wanted to see him back as he fits in the two spot pretty well, his defense is still solid, and he seemed to fit in nicely with the teams' personalities. The concerns are obviously his health issues, as well as the rumors that he was having a negative influence on Reyes off the field. You have to think if those were true the Mets would have let him walk considering there were similar options to pursue. The only other option that intrigued me was Orlando Hudson, but they would have had to acquire him via trade, and that likely would have hurt their chances of landing a pitcher, so Castillo was the right choice.

So, while 4-years is a lot to give to an aging player with bad knees, the market pretty much dictated that was necessary as both the Astros and Cubs coveted Castillo, and even David Eckstein is pursuing a 4-year deal worth more than what Castillo was given.

Speaking of Eckstein, I'm elated the Mets stayed away from him as details of his grit/hustle/determination equating to success on the field are greatly exaggerated. Don't get me wrong, I appreciate the work ethic, and I'm sure he's a nice guy and great in the clubhouse and all. He just can't play professional baseball very well at all. If you want the full break down on how truly overrated Eckstein has been over the past few years, thanks to the media, head over to Fire Joe Morgan.com as they have a wonderful obsession with Eckstein.

Naturally, Mets fans were getting impatient 30 seconds into the hot stove season, but now they have some things to talk about and with Omar Minaya all but guaranteeing to upgrade the pitching staff, it will be interesting to see what's next.

I'll discuss the pitching options in trade and FA and give my opinions on each later in the week. Football picks for the Thanksgiving Day games will be up late this evening.

In the meantime, stay tuned in to Metsblog for the latest info and check back here for my expanded opinion on the Mets offseason and other baseball moves.

Worst Season Ever

2007-11-18T19:50:00.000-08:00

Well, that Pats/Bills game was extremely non-heterosexual. As expected as it was, it's still damn annoying and I think someone needs to get in touch with Tonya Harding and see she can set us up with a hitman and a crowbar.

Combine the Patriots crap with another loss for the Dolphins (at least it took Donovan McNabb faking an ankle injury so the Eagles could upgrade at QB without controversy) this is easily headed toward the worst NFL season in the history of my life.

I'll probably be straying from football talk over the next week or two, aside from the weekly pick 'em, and turn my attention to the Mets offseason, college basketball, and other sports news

Week 11 Spread 'em: The IN-N-OUT Challenge

2007-11-16T00:09:00.001-08:00

Before we get to the picks there’s some business to take care of.

First off, my desktop is back up and running so you will see more frequent posts around here. I apologize for slacking off while it was in the shop and I’ll try to make up for it over the next few weeks. That being said, if anyone out there is interested in coming aboard, writing for TPS and having your opinions read by at least tens of people, shoot me an email and we’ll set something up.

Also, if you can’t get enough of me, I recently stumbled across a great opportunity and reached an agreement with Matthew Cerrone at MetsBlog (after a short trial period, he offered to let me write for free and I eagerly accepted) to join as a beat blogger during the hot stove season and hopefully well into the future.

…Now back to your regularly scheduled column…

Durden returns from Atlantic City in one piece which has led to an extra long post as I apparently disregarded the fact that he'd be back and continued to write a short novel for several games. But where else can you get a combined 600 words or so on that enticing Dolphins/Eagles matchup!

Last week, I was above .500 for the 4^th consecutive week and gained another game on Durden to cut his lead to 7 cheeseburgers. That should mean this will be a particularly disappointing one as he's scheduled to fly out here for the Ravens game Thanksgiving weekend where I’ll have to settle up what’s owed at the time. But, with 7 games different this week, I do have slim hope to get back to even just in time. So, on to the picks.

Click Clack.

San Diego Chargers @ Jacksonville Jaguars -3
Mazzone: Before the 2006 draft there was a lot of talk that Antonio Cromartie would drop way down the draft boards due to being out of football for a year after a torn ACL. Prior to the draft, I was praying for him to fall so the Dolphins (who were, and still are in desperate need of DB’s) could snag him in the 3^rd round.

Unfortunately, just 3 picks after Miami took Jason Allen at pick 16 in the first round, the Chargers ignored the expert’s warnings and picked based on what they saw of Cromartie prior to his injury, and at his pre draft workout. Smart move – aside from the highlight reel plays in recent weeks, he’s just an incredible athlete with the perfect physical attributes to be a successful CB. As long as he’s not a complete idiot, he should progress into a top CB.

The cross country flight, David Garrard’s return to the lineup, and the win over the Titans last week make this pick tough, but I still like the Chargers.
Pick: Chargers +3

Durden: While it’s tough for me to forget Jacksonville’s loss two weeks ago against the Saints, it’s even more difficult for me to forget San Diego’s loss two weeks ago against Adrian Peterson. Of course, the Jags also followed it up with an impressive win vs the Titans, while the Chargers barely beat a banged up Colts team. When you only win by two at home, despite intercepting the opposing QB six times and getting two special teams TDs, you didn’t win the game. The other team lost it.
Pick: Jaguars -3

Kansas City Chiefs @ Indianapolis Colts -14.5
Mazzone: I’ve been wavering between two schools of thought on this one. The first: Peyton without Dallas Clark, Marvin Harrison, Anthony Gonzalez, and a couple key pieces of the offensive line becomes human, and the loss of Dwight Freeney certainly won’t help matters, making 14.5 points A LOT to give.

The other side is that the Colts should have won on the road against the Chargers, despite the special teams giving away a boatload of points and Peyton throwing six INTs. Neither of which will come close to happening again. So, therefore they should have no problem covering against the Brodie Croyle led Chiefs, right?
Pick: Colts -14.5

Durden: Peyton proved against the Pats that he clearly STILL can not win a big game, and we saw his resulting hangover last week. I don’t want to hear about how he’s missing multiple offensive tackles and only has one healthy receiver, because it’s his job to figure out how to best use the strengths of Bryan Fletcher and Craven Moorehead. However, I do think the Colts will win in spite of all of Manning’s inadequacies, I’m just not sure they’ll cover.

Brodie Croyle does face a daunting task in his first game as a starter, when you consider they’re traveling to Indy and will have to deal with all the fake noise. Unfortunately for them, the Patriots must have the best evidence and tapes to prove noise-gate, but I’m guessing they’re refusing to submit it to the league. Therefore, I expect the Chiefs to come in with a very conservative game plan, and keep this one close enough.
Pick: Chiefs +14.5

Oakland Raiders @ Minnesota Vikings -5.5
Mazzone: From the meaningless but really fun stat department, I give you this gem. Over the last 12 seasons, scorned QB’s are an astounding 40-7 in games against their former teams. Daunte is likely getting the nod this week in Minnesota, and they won’t have to face Adrian Peterson – so that bodes well for the Raiders. But, Chester Taylor is no slouch and should be able to produce behind that offensive line against one of the league’s worst run defenses. I also like the VIkes defense to rattle Culpepper and take a fumble or pick to the house. Daunte got his revenge against the Dolphins earlier this year, he’ll have to settle for that.
Pick: MIN -5.5

Durden: This Raiders team continues to just hang in games, and I don’t see why this game will be any different. As for Minnesota, I probably won’t have very much to say about the Vikings until Adrian Peterson returns. They’re terrible, but it appears they’re at least having a good time and it seems pretty harmless to me. Hey, if you can’t fly prostitutes in from around the country to perform sex acts on a boat, what can you do??
Pick: Raiders +5.5

Cleveland Browns @ Baltimore Ravens +3
Mazzone: Durden is excited about McNair all but admitting he’s got nothing left and is a big reason for the Ravens’ struggles. While I agree, he’s been finished for awhile, I also think the Ravens have issues beyond the QB position. Home underdogs to the Browns? The Browns hanging with the Steelers last week was a mirage (see below), but the times they are a changin’…
Pick: Browns -3

Durden: I’ve always said that if the Ravens are to go 1-15, the game they HAVE to win (for me), is the home game vs the Browns. There is reason to be slightly optimistic too, as Stevie Wonder was finally demoted due to an “injury” to his non-throwing shoulder. That’s funny because not only is Kurt Warner playing with a similar injury, but can anyone even tell which shoulder is McNair’s “throwing” shoulder at this point?? However, there’s really not reason for even the biggest fan to have faith at this point, until they show even the slightest signs of life. As much as I hate to admit it, these are not last year’s Browns.

Promoting Kyle Boller is a decision that was well overdue, and yet it’s not likely to make a significant difference given the current injury situation. The Ravens definitely are not the only team that has suffered multiple injuries to key players, but coming into this season, they simply were not prepared to handle that and it’s showing. The opening-night secondary of Rolle, cornerback Chris McAlister, free safety Ed Reed and strong safety Dawan Landry has not started since Sept. 16 against the New York Jets. That’s a big problem against Cleveland, who has excelled passing the ball this season.

It’s also unfortunate that the Ravens now lost Demetrius Williams to an injury, as Boller could actually reach him down the field, though it may not have mattered with the way Billick’s mismanaged the offense.

If I could be wrong about any one pick this year, I hope it’s this one.
Pick: Browns -3

Pittsburgh Steelers @ New York Jets +9.5
Mazzone: The Steelers were on the receiving end of the “eff you, Madden game” last week…and won. To recap: The Browns totaled just 163 yards of offense and 76 of those came on their longest drive of the season and first of the game (yep, that means they had 87 yards of offense during the remaining 51 minutes of the game and still scored 28 points). Pittsburgh fell behind early, 21-6, thanks in part to a big kick return, a red zone interception, this RIDICULOUS TD catch by Braylon Edwards, and the aforementioned drive that the Browns probably won’t duplicate again for the rest of the year.

Even so, the Steelers battled back with 18 unanswered points and managed to take the lead in the fourth quarter 24-21, at least for a second anyway. Then, Joshua Cribbs (who tallied over 200 return yards ) took the ensuing kick to the house, which he somehow managed to pick up at the goal-line, hop over and slide by five would be tacklers inside his own five yard line, keep his balance and stay in-bounds despite sprinting along the sideline and having his shoulder nearly ripped off. That’s the point I would have thrown the controller.

Only two things kept the Browns from miraculously finishing off the eff you game. A holding call on another nice Cribbs return which would have put them in great shape for a potential game winning FG drive, and Phil Dawson coming up just short on the eventual 52 yard attempt.

Oh yea, something about the Jets…they suck.
Pick: Steely McBeam -9.5

Durden: My only real thought about this game, is how Pittsburgh isn’t favored by double digits. Mangini is proving to be more Mangina than Mangenius, and I don’t think the bye week or home-field advantage will be of much help on Sunday.
Pick: Steelers -9.5

Tampa Bay Buccaneers @ Atlanta Falcons +3
Mazzone: A Falcons win would put them a game out of first. I’ll have none of that. The Bucs remaining schedule should be just bad enough to win them the division and earn them the right to be double digit underdogs against their first round playoff opponent.
Pick: Bucs -3

Durden: This one seems fairly simple. While Atlanta coming off consecutive victories would appear to be impressive, it’s been far from convincing against two of the league’s worst teams right now. Tampa Bay will not only be well prepared for this game, but they’re better on both sides of the ball, than anything Atlanta’s seen in about a month.
Pick: Bucs -3

Arizona Cardinals @ Cincinnati Bengals -3
Music is my boyfriend
Music is my girlfriend

Music is my dead end
Music is my imaginary friend

Music is my brother
Music is my great-grand-daughter

Music is my sister
Music is my favorite mistress

Music is my beach house
Music is my hometown
Music is my king-size bed
Music is my hot hot bath
Music is my hot hot sex
Music is my back rub

Music is where I'd like you to touch.

Enjoy that for the rest of your day and all weekend.
Pick: Bengals -3

Durden: I didn’t think the Lions would struggle against the Cards last week, let alone lose, so I was definitely impressed by Arizona’s win. That’s more than enough for me to pick them against a Bengals team that is in really bad shape. Let’s just say their win last week against the Ravens was not your typical, 21-7 victory.
Pick: Cardinals +3

Miami Dolphins @ Philadelphia Eagles -10
Mazzone: It was a tough loss to the Bills, but you can’t blame Miami for looking ahead to the Eagles.

The John Beck Era is officially upon us and Ricky Williams is back – it doesn’t get much more exciting for the winless Dolphins! I am genuinely excited to get a look at Beck, although I’m not sure I would have made his first games AT Philly and Monday Night AT Pittsburgh. If Cam Cam was going to protect him this long, why throw him to those wolves now? Curious decision (I would have started him last week – Bills at home, or two weeks from now- Jets at home), but I’m anxious to see what he’s got, so let's do it.

As for Ricky’s return (I’ve always been and will always be Pro- Ricky Williams), I’m trying to figure out who would trade for him and what kind of value he’d have since there’s no logical reason for the Dolphins to hang onto him longer than the rest of this season to showcase him.

Maybe the Packers after making a run this year think they are a RB away and Favre talks them into it? Though completely unreasonable, it’d be really fun if he went to any of the following:

Eagles – McNabb heading out the door, and the fans booing the decision to draft Donovan over Ricky, it’d be a nice happy ending
Bears – Cedric Benson would probably cry
Denver – where they support his habits

Who am I kidding? He’ll probably end up with the Patriots for a fourth round pick and run for 2500 yards.

As for this week, sorry Eagles fans, but the Dolphins are the best 0-9 team in the NFL right now and John Beck has never lost his first ever NFL game.
Pick: Miami +10

Durden: I’m not big on moral victories, but I would think the Dolphins must draw some inspiration from at least remaining competitive, despite not having won a game yet. In fact, I was set to pick Miami to cover this week until they made the switch at QB to John Beck. I’m just not sure Beck’s first NFL action should’ve come on the road, against the Eagles and their blitz-happy defense, even if he is the league’s oldest rookie QB I can remember since Chris Weinke.

I was still a little unsure though, I was looking for some reassurance and definitely did not come across anything helpful. Instead, I came across a few of good quotes that tell me neither team really deserves to be favored by 10.

First, Eagles’ TE LJ Smith, what are your thoughts going into this game? "Right now I'm looking at being on another team," said Smith, Wow, OK. How about you, Joey Porter? You’re probably not qualified to be speaking on the Ricky Williams situation, having just joined the team, but what do you think since you’ll just tell us anyways? "Yeah, I would. We're 0-9," linebacker Joey Porter told the Miami Herald. "I'd welcome bin Laden if he could run the ball like Ricky did." Finally, John Madden, anything we should know about Philadelphia that we may not already know? “Rocky has muscles in places you don’t have muscles.” –John Madden

Anyway, I’m going to stick with Philly, mainly because Mazzone will be hosting my trip to Cali next week and this should subtract a burger in the standings.
Pick: Eagles -10

*Editors Note: I don’t want your stinkin’ charity, beotch! Besides, everyone knows there’s no way in hell you’d concede an IN-N-OUT cheeseburger if you really felt that way about the game.

New England Patriots @ Buffalo Bills +16
Mazzone: JP Losman and Dwayne Wright will be in the backfield for the Bills who are fresh off their dominating three point escape in Miami. Wright was the Bills 4^th round pick (111^th overall) out of Fresno State where he was second team ALL-WAC in 2006 . That’s all I know about him, because that’s all that’s really on his Wikipedia page. The line could be 30, and I’d be hard pressed to find a good reason take the Bills.
Pick: Patriots -16

Durden: The only concern here is the possibility of New England being a little quicker to take their foot off the accelerator, now that they have a two game lead in the AFC. Otherwise, how can you like the Bills to keep this close (especially without Marshawn Lynch), while the Patriots are coming off a bye?
Pick: Patriots -16

Washington Redskins @ Dallas Cowboys -10.5
Mazzone: Big win for Big D last week that solidifies their hold on the NFC East and now they come back to three straight home games that should continue to pad their lead, starting with the Redskins. I can’t really decide how to feel about the ‘skins, which makes sense since they’re about a .500 team and should finish that way. I like the Cowboys to win and for it to feel like a comfortable win, but think the Redskins get a meaningless score late in the game for the cover.
Pick: Redskins +10.5

Durden: The only real hope Washington has in this game, is overconfidence on Dallas’ part after last week’s big victory. Clinton Portis has been a man possessed of late, but it may not matter if the Cowboys come out strong against a Washington secondary that should be overwhelmed without Sean Taylor and Carlos Rogers. I think that’s a highly likely scenario, yet even if it doesn’t play out that way, the Redskins will find that running against Dallas is far tougher than running against Philly or the Jets.
Pick: Cowboys -10.5

New Orleans Saints @ Houston Texans -1
Mazzone: Just when I thought the Saints were headed for the playoffs, they fall flat on their face at home against the Rams. That’s completely unacceptable and warrants an automatic benching in my weekly picks, regardless of the opponent.

Besides, the Texans get Andre Johnson back and though he’s not 100 percent, that Saints secondary couldn’t stop him at 50%, let’s take a look at WR’s numbers against New Orleans this year.

Reggie Wayne/Marvin Harrison: 198 yards 3 TDs
Joey Galloway/Ike Hilliard: 186 yards, 2 TDs
Brandon Jones/Roydell Williams: 110 yards, TD (also Vince Young’s only game with two TD passes)
Steve Smith/Keary Colbert: 121 Yards, TD
Bobby Engram/Ben Obamanu/Nate Burleson: 255 yards, 2 TDs
Roddy White/Michael Jenkins: 179 yards, TD
Reggie Williams/John Broussard: 199 yards, TD
Torry Holt/Isaac Bruce: 186 yards, TD

They did sorta shut down the 49ers “passing game”, if you can call it that. Vernon Davis had 71 yards and a TD, but no receiver (the likes of Billy Gilmore and Arnaz Battle) had more than 25 yards.

If you’re still not getting the hint, start Matt Schaub, Andre Johnson, Kevin Walter, Andre Davis, and any other Texan that’s eligible to start at WR/TE for your fantasy teams this week.
Pick: Texans -1

Durden: Anyone else surprised that ESPN hasn’t done more to lamely spin this as Reggie Bush vs Mario Williams? Well, as promised a couple of weeks ago, the success the Saints were enjoying was indeed a product of its schedule. The problem here is that I have no idea what to make of the Texans right now. While I think New Orleans will definitely put up at least 20 points, Houston could prevail in a shootout or get blown out, and neither outcome would surprise me. Since I’m already bracing for the “Reggie Bush’s Eff You Game to Houston,” I’ll take New Orleans.
Pick: Saints +1

Carolina Panthers @ Green Bay Packers -9.5
Mazzone: I wish this were true. Anyway...I’m borrowing Durden’s Brett Favre Slurping Award this week and handing it out to Brad Evans over at Yahoo! - “Because Brett Favre wears comfortable jeans, never has heartburn and sports a Bowflex-chiseled body, it's safe to assume he'll average close to 300 yards and two touchdowns per game during the most crucial weeks of the season.”
Pick: Packers -9.5

Durden: Carolina’s another team I have almost no desire to talk about, nor do I really care to figure out how they got so bad, so fast. I know it’s tough to overcome the Vinny Carr Experiment at QB, but it’s not like anyone was really enamored with Delhomme coming into the season. To make matters worse, Steve Smith hasn’t practiced yet this week and he’s probably the only guy for Carolina who still gives a shit.
Pick: Packers -9.5

New York Giants @ Detroit Lions +3
Mazzone: Detroit got brought back down to earth last week and now they have a difficult schedule the rest of the way. I don’t think the Lions know this game is more important for them than the Giants, and they are probably looking forward to the Favre matchup on Thanksgiving. I think Eli Manning is in for a big day and the Giants bounce back nicely.
Pick: Giants -3

Durden: I know Detroit’s defense has overachieved thus far this season, but their offense is what had me believing coming into the season and it’s been pretty mediocre. As I mentioned before, their loss to Arizona was surprising and I’m going to give the edge to New York in this game. There’s quite a bit I’m not sure about, but I know the Lions are very good at allowing Kitna to get sacked, and the Giants are equally adept at sacking opposing QBs.
Pick: Giants -3

St. Louis Rams @ San Francisco 49ers +2.5
Mazzone: Ever get that creepy Déjà vu feeling? San Francisco and Miami appear to be headed for 1-2 draft position again (as in 2005), though the Dolphins have the inside track on the first pick this time. Remember when the Niners were everyone’s bandwagon pick this year, what happened to that? Rams were unlucky the first time these two met, it won’t happen again.
Pick: Rams -2.5

Durden: Hey, where are all those Steven Jackson commercials I was complaining about earlier this season? The man’s throwing TDs now!
Pick: Rams -2.5

Chicago Bears @ Seattle Seahawks -5.5
Mazzone: The Bears are Bringin’ Sexy Back, so the choice here is obvious.
Pick: Seahawks -5.5

Durden: Given their inconsistent nature, it pains me to take Seattle in consecutive weeks but even when the Seahawks try to give this game away, I don’t see the Bears taking it. This win will help Seattle in a few weeks as they back into the playoffs, while Arizona ultimately decides they’d rather not play more than 16 games.
Pick: Seahawks -5.5

Tennessee Titans @ Denver Broncos -2
Mazzone: Vince Young matches up real well with the Broncos as they are a great team to hand the ball off against and not pass at all (Broncos defense is tied with Oakland for last in yards allowed per carry at 4.8).

The Titans are in the top five in both stopping the run and running the football. It should be the perfect recipe for success against this Denver team, but I can’t help but think back to how poorly the defense played a week ago without Albert Haynesworth (166 rushing yards and 3 TDs allowed) and how easy that will make things for Jay Cutler and the Broncos if they can run the ball.
Pick: Broncos -2

Durden: Denver is like Seattle to me, in that I feel both teams are better on paper, and both frustrate me as they insist on underachieving. Therefore, I probably shouldn’t be too surprised that I find myself picking Denver to come out with another win this week as well. Bare with me here, but could it be that it’s actually Albert Haynesworth who just wins football games? It appears he’ll be missing another game for the Titans who will miss him again, and his ability to kickstart the team.
Pick: Broncos -2

If you haven't seen the Cal Marching Band's tribute to video games (tetris, mario bros, zelda, contra, etc...), here it is.

And just because I felt like adding a third video, completely unrelated to anything...

Say Anything - Wow, I Can Get Sexual Too

Week 10 Picks: Spread 'em the In-N-Out Challenge

2007-11-09T00:44:00.000-08:00

There was no shortage of entertainment from the National Football League last week. Points all over the place, records being set, big plays, fun story lines, and the Super Bowl actually lived up to its hype (with Peyton proving he still can't win the big one).

Oddly enough, the best week of the football season didn't involve the Rams, Dolphins or Bears. I was over .500 for the third consecutive week and gained 2 games on Durden (66-57-7). I'm now trailing by 8 cheeseburgers.

This week gives us two things I never thought we'd see. 1) Durden and I have an unprecedented 12 games picked differently - which probably doesn't bode well for me considering our current records. 2) Later in the column, I'll present to you the black Trent Dilfer, though you can probably guess who it is.

Before we get to the picks it should be noted that Durden phoned his picks in this week, literally - via drunken text message from Atlantic City. He'll be back in full capacity next week, assuming he makes it home alive. I'm taking all sorts of prop bets on Durden's weekend experience, so email me if you want in.

Alright, onto the picks.

Click Clack.

STL @ NO -12
Mazzone: I should have known better than to count out any team in the NFC, even after starting 0-4. There’s no reason to think the Saints can’t win the pathetic NFC South and there’s no reason they shouldn’t roll over the Rams – who continue to lose key players to injury at an alarming rate. The latest to go down: Leonard Little (done for the season), Richie Incognito (done for the season), Steven Jackson for the 2nd time (done until he’s tackled again).

Also, if you’re a Saints fan that’s trying to talk yourself into this being a real turnaround rather than a product of the schedule, you can look no further than the offensive line and Drew Brees. In the first four losses, Brees had 11 turnovers, 929 yards, and 1 touchdown. In the last four wins, the Saints are averaging over 104 yards rushing a game, Brees has just 2 turnovers, 1246 yards, 11 TDs, and has only been sacked once – gaudy numbers regardless of the opponents.
Pick: Saints -12
Durden Pick: Rams +12

BUF @ MIA +3
Mazzone: For some reason, Cleo Lemon is still starting, but now he’s splitting reps with John Beck in practice, so hopefully Beck will get the nod soon. After picking apart the Bengals, the Bills should feel confident heading into Miami to face an equally atrocious defense. Marshawn Lynch’s career game was overshadowed by some guy in Minnesota, but Miami is known for making things easy on the RBs, so Lynch could do it again. Lee Evans typically destroys the Dolphins as well, and J.P. Losman knows how to throw the ball in his general direction more often than not.

The positive news for the Dolphins is that the Bills offensive line doesn’t allow many sacks which is good because the Dolphins don’t have a pass rush anyway so they can just abandon it all together and drop everyone in coverage on passing downs. Buffalo is a Cowboys miracle comeback away from 5-3 and being taken seriously in the playoff race, that’s disturbing and it’ll be nice for the Dolphins to put them back in their place with the rest of the AFC East teams not named the Patriots.
Pick: Miami Football Dolphins +3
Durden Pick: Bills -3

JAC @ TEN -4
Mazzone: These two teams are nearly identical in terms of philosophy. They’re going to try and beat you running the ball and playing defense while the passing game is almost non-existent. If all goes according to plan, this game should be low scoring and, barring overtime, it should finish long before the rest of the early games. If the Titans win, they should be able to book their playoff tickets as the rest of their schedule is pretty favorable.

I feel like anything not associated with the Patriots has flown under the radar this season, like how great the Titans and Steelers defenses have been. They may not be exactly on par with the greatest ever, but also not terribly far from the 2000 Ravens. Look for yourself and let’s get the “Vince Young is the black Trent Dilfer” bandwagon fired up.

Titans 2007 projected totals are in blue, 2000 Raven totals are in purple, Steelers 2007 projections are in black:

Passing Yards Allowed: 3276, 3175, 2588
Rushing Yards Allowed: 1056, 970, 1216
Interceptions: 26, 23, 14
Sacks: 44, 35, 50
Record: 12-4, 12-4 (Super Bowl Champs), 12-4

Here’s where the Ravens separate themselves:
Fumble Recovered: 14, 26, 18
Points: 248, 165 (least in NFL history), 196

Still impressive, and some year the Titans might even get Pac Man Jones back to boost the defense and special teams.

Just for fun:
Vince Young 2007 Projections, 2000 Dilfer:
Completion %: 61.6, 59.3
Interceptions: 16, 11
Total TDs: 10, 12
Fumbles/Lost: 8/2, 8/2
Total Yards (rushing + passing) per game: 145.7, 140.3
Sacks: 20, 23

Oh right, this is a picks column. Let’s go with a repeat of week 1 - 13-10 in favor of the black Trent Dilfer, Jags barely cover.
Pick: Jags +4
Durden Pick: Titans -4

CLE @ PIT -9.5
Mazzone: Aside from the Pats is there another team that would be favored by 9.5 or more two weeks in a row against the next best teams in their division? As mentioned above, the Steelers defense has been outstanding, but Ben Roethlisberger is not Trent Dilfer or Vince Young. Nobody will give it serious thought until it rolls around and the Steelers are 10-2 or 9-3, but there’s reason to believe they can give New England a run for their money in week 14. We talked about the D, and they are currently outscoring their opponents by about 16 a game, whereas NE is at 23 a game. The Steelers are a few garbage time “eff you” TDs away from being right with ‘em.

As for this week, if you hadn’t guessed already, I think the Steelers should win comfortably.
Pick: McBeams -9.5
Durden Pick: Steelers -9.5

PHI @ WAS -3
Mazzone: McNabb usually comes out on fire after he throws a pity party for himself (as he did earlier this week) and since he’s in a more friendly environment than the Linc, I’m going with the Eagles.
Pick: Eagles +3
Durden Pick: Redskins -3

ATL @ CAR -4
Mazzone: Let’s be honest, you’re only betting on this game if you routinely bet on every single game, and even then you’re still not going to watch any of it. DeShaun Foster destroys the Falcons, so it shouldn’t matter if Matt Moore (who?) or Vinny Testaverde are at QB. If David Carr plays though… go with the Falcons. Wow, what a trio, my head is spinning just thinking about those guys.

Anyway, yes, I just endorsed Matt Moore over David Carr and I’m pretty sure I’ve never seen Matt Moore throw a football…and now I’m picking his team to cover against Joey Harrington, and I feel confident about it.
Pick: Panthers -4
Durden Pick: Atlanta +4

DEN @ KC -3
Mazzone: It’s tough not to root for a guy like Priest Holmes, especially when it’s so easy to root against Larry Johnson. With Priest coming back this week, I’m reminded of my favorite Denver/KC game in recent memory. It wasn’t really Denver/KC so much as Quentin Griffin against Priest Holmes.

They were ripping off ridiculous run after ridiculous run and I had both of them starting in a fantasy league that awarded each weekly winner with a big screen TV from Best Buy. I was giddy throughout the game, only to come up just short of winning as I didn’t have the top QB for the week by just a couple points.

Of course, that was week 1, and I never sniffed the top of the standings the rest of the way. I finally had to settle for buying a big screen on my own 3 years later. It’s still fun, but not as much as if it were free. In remembrance of that game, I’m going with Denver 34 – Kansas City 24, with Priest and Selvyn Young combining for 5 tds and 300+ rushing yards.
Pick: Broncos +3
Durden Pick: KC -3

MIN @ GB -6
Mazzone: I guess you could say this about a few teams, but Minnesota is a serviceable quarterback (Donovan McNabb next year?) away from being a legitimate playoff team, and that’s despite wasting a pick on Troy Williamson. We know about Adrian Peterson, the offensive line, and the run defense, but Sidney Rice is legit too (you’d see that if they had a QB). The pass defense has been among the worst in yards allowed, but that’s partially because teams know they can’t run so they’re throwing 41 times a game against the Vikes, that’s tops in the NFL. They have some talent in the secondary and are middle of the pack in yards allowed per passing attempt.

That being said, Favre is playing in the house that Favre built with his smile, gunslinger mentality and child-like love for the game, so he should be able to do to them what Philip Rivers couldn’t. Fortunately for me, I don’t care about any of that and am blinded by my season-long man crush on Adrian Peterson where I drafted him in my fantasy league and then touted him as rookie of the year before he took a hand-off (everyone forgets Adrian Peterson was NFL ready three years ago). And now I’m swiping this from the guys at Kissing Suzy Kolber because I couldn't say it better myself.

KSK Reader Gavin B. writes:

I nominate the following name changes:

Adrian Peterson is no longer Purple Jesus, he's just plain old Jesus.

Jesus (the "son of God" Jesus) is now to be called "Carpenter Jesus."

Make it so.

Pick: Vikings +6
Durden Pick: Green Bay -6

CIN @ BAL -4
Mazzone: The Bengals are terrible, but the offense still looks good on paper at least. The Ravens defense is no longer good enough to shut teams out but the offense is still awful and banged up to the point where I’m not sure they can score 14 points. Give me the points, I guess.
Pick: Bengals +4
Durden Pick: Ravens -4

DET @ ARI -1
Mazzone: Everyone probably loves Detroit here, but I feel good about a let-down game from the Lions, combined with a bounce back game for the Cards. If that comes through, then the Lions might be hard pressed to reach Kitna’s 10 win prognostication.

The remaining schedule is about as tough as an NFC North team’s schedule can be (NYG, GB, @MIN, DAL, @SD, KC, @GB). Four wins out of that group could be difficult, but I doubt the Lions are aware of that, so I expect them to downplay the Cardinals and come out flat after their demolition of the Broncos. The good news for Detroit is that there’s no way in hell that they’ll NEED 10 wins to make the postseason in the NFC.
Pick: Cardinals -1
Durden Pick: Lions +1

CHI @ OAK +3.5
Mazzone: The Bears give up 131 rushing yards per game and the Raiders are fourth in the league with 140 rushing yards per game (behind Adrian Peterson, Willie Parker, and whoever the Titans feel like handing it off to that week). It doesn’t take a rocket scientist to know what Lane Kiffin should plan to do. Which is good, because Lovie Smith is no rocket scientist. The bottom line is that I still can’t believe the Bears are giving points on the road to any team that’s not winless.
Pick: Raiders +3.5
Durden Pick: Bears -3.5

DAL @ NYG +1
Mazzone: I guess it’s time to put my reader’s money where my mouth is. In the week 4 picks, I took the Giants over the Eagles and mentioned 6-2 going into the bye was a possibility. In week 7, I upped the ante saying they’d be one of the top two teams in the NFC and you’d hear some realistic Super Bowl talk in the near future.

The Giants two losses came to the Packers and Cowboys, arguably the best teams in the NFC, but that was back when the Giants were in shambles and there was a possibility of having a Derrick Ward/Jared Lorenzen backfield for several weeks. This is a different Giants team, one that’s certainly more dangerous than the Packers. Unfortunately for the G-Men, the Cowboys aren’t exactly ripe for the picking. The Giants are going to have to earn every bit of this one.
Pick: Giants +1
Durden Pick: Cowboys -1

IND @ SD +3.5
Mazzone: I was all set to pick the Chargers here, and then Luis Castillo had to go and get hurt and the Colts had to go and lose to the Patriots. Ah, screw it, I’m still going with the Chargers. Might even have to snag a ticket and walk across the street to enjoy it in person. The Chargers are significantly better at home than on the road and they match up pretty well with the Colts, assuming Rivers doesn’t duplicate the debacle that took place in Minnesota. This is a much bigger game for San Diego than Indianapolis, let's see if it plays out as such or if the Colts are jerks and take out their frustrations from a week ago on the poor city ravaged by wild fires.
Pick: Chargers +3.5
Durden Pick: Colts -3.5

SF @ SEA -10
Mazzone: I can’t think of a single reason why the schedule makers thought this was a good idea for prime time. Oh well, I’m really looking forward to that Niners/Rams matchup next week – the Niners should be too since they’re going to lose this one 37-6.
Pick: Seahawks -10
Durden Pick: Seahawks -10

Week 9 Picks: Spread 'em the In-N-Out Challenge

2007-11-02T00:19:00.000-07:00

Last week we learned that both Vince Young (6/14 42 yards, 7 rushes - 11 yards, 1 fumble) AND Quinn Gray (7/16 100 yards, TD, 3 rushes - 0 yards, 1 fumble) just win football games! We also saw both of your TPS writers come in above .500 for the second consecutive week.

Unfortunately, my 7-6 wasn’t even close to enough to keep pace with Durden’s 10-3. His season record is now at a very respectable 60-49-7 and he has a comfortable 10 cheeseburger lead over me.

The good news for me: The Dolphins can’t lose this week and since it’s the biggest event in the history of the entire world, *the Patriots/Colts game will be worth 10 games in the win column

*Note – only applicable if the Colts cover.

Someone told Bill Cowher about the bounty that the guys at KSK put on Tom Brady, hopefully defenders were listening too.

With Miami on a bye, in honor of Durden coming off a 10-3 week, and Baltimore in an important prime time matchup, we're donning Raven purple and black this week.

Alright, let's do it.

Click clack.

WAS @ NYJ +3.5
Mazzone: Not only did the Jets lose Vilma, but last week we saw why it took so long for the Mangina to give up on Pennington. Kellen Clemens against the Bills: 5/12, 67 yards, 2 INTs. It’s not getting any easier.
Pick: Redskins -3.5

Durden: I was appalled that the Patriots would pull Brady from last week’s game, so they could insert Cassel and further embarrass Washington. I really think it’s time to question New England’s sportsmanship if they’re going to continue with those kind of antics. As for the Redskins, I still don’t think they’re a bad football team. I’m willing to forget last week, and while it’s possible that they’re not very good, we KNOW the Jets are awful.
Pick: Redskins -3.5

SF @ ATL -3
Mazzone: Week 8 I mentioned how the Niners should be winless and then went ahead and picked them anyway. What kind of role model would I be to all the kids coming to TPS for gambling advice if I didn’t teach them to learn from their mistakes?
Pick: Falcons -3

Durden: The Falcons seem to be awfully shocked that Grady Jackson was released. Really though? If I worked with a guy who was fat, lazy and suing our company, I don’t know that I’d be very shocked if he got fired. However, while there are obvious concerns that the team may have quit on Joey and Petrino, I’m still going to go with the Falcons. They’re coming off a bye, and more importantly, the 49ers have been that bad.
Pick: Falcons -3

ARI @ TB -3.5
Mazzone: If I wasn’t starting Earnest Graham and Anquan Boldin on my fantasy team this week I’d be perfectly ok with this game not happening. Tampa’s been winning at home, the Cards usually lose on the road, it’s not rocket science but I’m ready to be done with this game so it works for me. In unrelated news, Lance Armstrong is dating Ashley Olsen?! What?! Doesn’t he get depressed when he sees the twins together? Oh right, like you weren’t thinking of your own one testicle joke.
Pick: Bucs -3.5

Durden: I will not pretend to have either of these teams figured out. It’s hard not to like the Cards though, fresh and healthier off the bye, while the Bucs continue to crash back down to Earth. I think these are two teams at/around .500, heading in opposite directions, that will both end up at .500 Told you I haven’t figured them out.
Pick: Cardinals +3.5

GB @ KC -2.5
Mazzone: What the hell is this? I hate when I see a line like this, I feel like Vegas knows the game is fixed. The 6-1 Packers are underdogs against the 4-3 Chiefs that have allowed more points than they scored and have one mildly impressive win to their resume (the Chargers were a different team back then, but I'll count it anyway). I’m going to be so annoyed when the Chiefs win.
Pick: Packers +2.5

Durden: Good news Packer haters! I’ve been pretty accurate about GB this season, even predicting the spin on last week’s victory, with ESPN literally praising Favre’s “magic” in their Tuesday morning headline. After all, his 82yd throw-and-catch to himself for the game-winning TD in OT was mighty impressive. However, this week I actually feel good about the Packers slipping up. The Chiefs are at home, off the bye, and the Pack is simply due to not get all the breaks in a game.

Finally, the winner of this week’s Worst Brett Favre Slurping Award goes to ESPN’s John Clayton. It was a tough week with the Packers being on MNF, and the award would have gone to Tony Kornheiser for his pre-game introduction, but he was disqualified because it was so long that it wouldn’t fit on this site. Therefore, Clayton prevailed over his media brethren with the following: “For those wondering about Favre, the gunslinger is still packing.” Um, thanks John. Pick: Chiefs -2.5

CIN @ BUF PK
Mazzone: As excited as I was that the Bills finally completed their go-to play that I outlined earlier in the year (Losman blind heave to Lee Evans, hope he comes down with it and out runs everyone), I still can’t back J.P. Losman’s impeachment of Trent Edwards.
Pick: Bengals PK

Durden: I can’t believe it’s come to this for the Bengals. The only thing that surprised me more than this game being a pick’em, was that I then started to give it thought, before actually settling on the Bills. TJ Houshmandzadeh sums it up pretty well:

Trailing 14-3 to the Steelers last week, the Bengals drove to a 4th and 1 from just inside the 2yd line with 2:16 left in the first half. They needed about 2 feet. They looked like they were going to go for it and then Lewis called time-out to talk about it. Then he sent in the field goal unit. The players were understandably shocked. "It's like telling a kid he can have some candy and then saying, 'Um, not right now,' " wide receiver T.J. Houshmandzadeh said. “That's why they're 5-2 and we're 2-5. Good teams put it in the end zone. Teams like us kick field goals."

Meanwhile, the Bills players are getting what they want, which is Losman back in at QB. Ordinarily, I could care less, but I’m excited that he’s back after they tried to bench him to avoid paying him bonuses. It has all the makings of something Buffalo will rally around, for the win.
Pick: Bills PK

SD @ MIN +7
Mazzone: America’s Team is on fire right now and not even Major Dad benching Tarvaris Jackson, feeding the ball to Purple Jesus, or signing Jeff George could stop them.
Pick: Chargers -7

Durden: We’ve told you the Vikings can’t stop the pass. You really think they’re going to stop Vincent Jackson and company from coming into town and doing some serious damage? Let’s be serious. Plus, Minnesota still hasn’t convinced people they can score, or even utilize AD properly. This spread should be higher.
Pick: Chargers -7

DEN @ DET -3
Mazzone: A heartbreaker on Monday Night Favre for the Broncos, but they shouldn’t have expected anything less. Cutler makes just enough plays each game to make you think he could be really good. That should be no different against a Lions pass defense giving up roughly 260 yards a game in the air. Of course, the flip side is that Jay The Snake makes his fair share of awful decisions/passes that leave you shaking your head. I was all set to pick the Lions thanks to winning the turnover battle, at least until Kitna APOLOGIZED for being funny and having a hilarious Halloween costume. I bet Jay Cutler has balls, at least.
Pick: Broncos +3

Durden: I’ve liked this Lions team, and that was before I found out they had a sense of humor. No, I’m not referring to them pouring Gatorade on Rod Marinelli after they beat the Bucs last week (true story, by the way). I’m talking about Jon Kitna’s Halloween costume this year. All jokes aside, I made up my mind a few weeks ago and decided I wouldn’t be fooled by the Broncos any longer. In fact, I’d even recommend the Lions to those of you still alive in Survivor/Survival pools, as most of you have probably burned the Chargers by now.
Pick: Lions -3

CAR @ TEN -4
Mazzone: The Panthers haven’t lost on the road this season. Vince Young hasn’t lost…ever.
Pick: Vince Young -4

Durden: This one’s a no-brainer, and it has nothing to do with Vince Young. Not only are the Panthers unsettled on who their QB is, but once they make up their mind, it’s either going to be David Carr or Vinny Testaverde. Making matters worse, if Carolina decides to force the run, they’ll be doing so against the league’s top-rated run defense. Somehow, the Panthers have lost every game at home, and are undefeated on the road. I can’t imagine that disturbing truth will continue to hold true after Sunday.
Pick: Titans -4

JAC @ NO -3.5
Mazzone: This’ll be a good test for the Saints offense to see if they are actually back or were just preying on weak teams. I mentioned how the Jags D was playing well, but hadn’t been forcing turnovers. Last week, they were able to intercept Jeff Garcia three times at critical moments to fend off the Bucs and overcome the handicap that is Quinn Gray. Should be a nice little game, and I’m excited for the continued re-emergence of Hofstra, even though he annihilated my fantasy team last week.
Pick: Saints -3.5

Durden: We let you down picking against the Jags in week 8, but the Saints came through as they continued to look good against bad teams. I maintain that they’ll trick people into getting excited, and this could actually be their most difficult game left on the schedule seriously, look. I really don’t know what to make of this game, so I’m going to pick against Quinn Gray on the road again. I also don’t think Brees will give Jacksonville the game this week, as Jeff Garcia did last week. Beware of the Saints though, any success this season will be more a function of their schedule than anything else.
Pick: Saints -3.5

SEA @ CLE -1
Mazzone: I can’t believe the NFL scheduled so many other games the same day as the Super Bowl. Seahawks get their starting receivers back and I think that, combined with the Browns lousy defense will be enough to jump start the offense.
Pick: Seahawks +1

Durden: I was initially inclined to pick the Browns here, but a couple of things swayed me. First, the Browns haven’t beaten a truly talented team yet. Also, an already bad Browns defense will be without Ted Washington and D’Qwell Jackson, two of their better defenders. Finally, and most importantly, the Seahawks always seem to perform opposite how I expect them to. Let’s face it, Seattle is going to back into the playoffs again, but they still need a few more wins before they can do so. This will be one of them.
Pick: Seahawks +1

HOU @ OAK -3
Mazzone: Even the “fans” of these teams are trying to get the game blacked out so they can watch Pats/Colts. Schaub is still woozy from last week, but Sage Rosenfels is actually the perfect fit for the Texans right now. Since the offense is made up of 2nd and 3rd stringers he should have great chemistry with them. There’s not really a convincing argument for either team, so two things swayed me. One, last week two bad teams played and I took the home team and the three points, and lost. Two, the Texans have the Nigerian Jedi - Adimchinobe Wan Kenobi Echemandu.
Pick: Texans +3

Durden: The game that no one wants to watch! In Houston, people are writing and pleading that the Patriots/Colts game be shown. In Oakland, people are hoping enough people don’t go to the game, so that it will be blacked out locally and they can watch the Game of the Century as well. What? No one wants to watch Sage Rosenfels vs Josh McCown?! I bet that would change if they advertised it as the Gus Johnson game. Anyways, I want to get to that Patriots game, so give me the Raiders game.
Pick: Raiders -3

NE @ IND +6
Mazzone: You’ve heard all there is to hear about this game by now. Maybe I’m being stubborn, or letting my hatred for the Pats get the best of me, but I’m going with the undefeated, defending Super Bowl Champions… at home…plus 6 points.
Pick: Colts +6

Durden: Here it is, The Game of the Millennium of the Week AKA The Apocalypse. Funny thing is, I’ve been saying for weeks that the Patriots will beat everyone by at least 10 points, yet I’m still eagerly anticipating this game. As a Brady fantasy owner, I really can’t complain that they’re blatantly disrespecting each of their opponents, but I did tell Mazzone last week that it was a matter of time before someone went after Brady. Fortunately for the Patriots, they have 3 of the league’s dirtiest players on their roster, in Rodney Harrison, Mike Vrabel and Vincent Wilfork. Back to this game, I have to admit that I actually underestimated the Colts coming into this season, but I still don’t think they’re in the same class as the 2007 Patriots. As Coach Reilly once said: "It's not worth winning, if you can't win BIG." So…
Pick: Patriots -6

DAL @ PHI +3
Mazzone: While we all certainly wish flex scheduling was in effect and the NE/Indy game was moved to this slot, at least we still get a fun matchup on Sunday night. These games are always entertaining, especially in front of the raucous Philly crowd. It’d be nice to see the McNabb from early last season show up for this one in prime time, but nothing suggests he will so I’ve gotta go with the better team.
Pick: Cowboys -3

Durden: A judge who sentenced Philadelphia Eagles coach Andy Reid's sons to jail on Thursday likened the coach's home to "a drug emporium" and questioned whether his adult sons should live there. I know Reid isn’t around a lot, but do you really need your parents to tell you not to smuggle drugs up your butt into jail? I don’t even know what the thought process could’ve been like, but it should’ve ended immediately upon introducing his anus into the equation. Speaking of assholes, you just know TO is looking to go off on Sunday Night Football, and I fully expect him to break out the Eagle in the endzone.
Pick: Cowboys -3

BAL @ PIT -9
Mazzone: I’m gonna step aside for Durden on this one as I'm sure he'll have plenty to say…
Pick: Ravens +9

Durden: As you should know by now, I don’t shy away from being objective about the Ravens. I’ve readily admitted when I’ve thought they’ve been too strongly favored, but this is one of those rare times, when I actually think they’re not being given enough credit. I know they’re only 4-3 and not better than their record, but this is the game they’ve had circled on their calendar since the season began. They went as far as to rest multiple players vs Buffalo before the Bye Week (which backfired as I feared), so that they would be as fresh as possible.

Basically, this game is the season if the Ravens are going to even pretend they have a shot at making some noise this season. I know it’s only Week 9, but their remaining schedule is absolutely brutal, and they’ve all rallied around this game. I have no idea where the points are going to come from since Stevie Wonder will be back under center, but I do have faith that they can contain Pittsburgh’s offense. In case you’ve forgotten, this is what happened the last time the Ravens went to Heinz Field .

Do the Steelers deserve to be favored? Absolutely. But the Steelers are also in for a fight, and unless they completely blow the Ravens out, they’re not covering. I guarantee that Little Ben hasn’t forgotten what the Ravens did to him last year (as you’ll see below), but who knows, maybe he’ll play an entire game against Baltimore for the first time in his career. It’s only his 7th career game vs the Ravens, but it’s about time he stick around to complete a losing effort.
Pick: Ravens +9

Week 8 Spread 'em: In-N-Out Challenge

2007-10-26T11:47:00.000-07:00

First off, apologies for the lack of posts in recent weeks. My desktop is fried and won't be fixed for another week or so. I'm stuck working off my crappy laptop in the meantime, and since I associate that with my real job I try to stay off it as much as possible. But there is plenty of stuff in the works for when I get the desktop back up and running again.

Durden and I are, for the first time this season, both coming off respectable weeks. He was 9-5 and I was 8-6 and also correctly predicted that a kicker would kick 8 field goals last week. Unfortunately, I went with Matt Stover and not Rob Bironas.

Week 8 has some interesting story lines, but no one cares about those. Next week, the Colts beat the Pats and the following week the Chargers beat the Colts and the '72 Dolphins get to pop some champagne. I guess we'll pick games this week anyway.

click clack...

Cleveland @ St. Louis +3
Mazzone: I can't believe I actually said, "Wow, the Browns are only giving three to the Rams?!" Which screams of a Rams victory, but I'm not listening.
Pick: Browns -3

Durden: First, a note from a recent ESPN journal entry of Steven Jackson’s: Have a great week, everyone. And hold tight to me in your leagues. You may be seeing me sooner than you expected. (Great! Because I was expecting an effective Steven Jackson in Week 1, but to accelerate that expectation by negative 7 weeks would be AWESOME!)

And now, always take the Browns when the opposing coach is talking like this: "Maybe I'll go call the coach at Rutgers and get some of his plays. Maybe that's what I need to do. ... That's a great idea. That's what you ought to do. You ought to watch TV and just get plays, and we'll do that." -St. Louis Rams coach Scott Linehan when asked by a radio reporter at yesterday's press conference if he would call trick plays to jump start his slumping offense.
Pick: Browns -3

Detroit @ Chicago -5
Mazzone: Meh, the Bears have no business giving five points to a team that's ahead of them in the standings, and 2-0 in the division already. But, after Philadelphia cheated and turned off Brian Griese's headset, he said "Eff You", called his own plays and brought Chicago the length of the field to victory… on the road. You can't bet against that man this week! At least wait 'til the Lions pick him off three times before turning on him again.
Pick: Bears -5

Durden: I was caught off guard last week by the Lions getting away from the pass, but it made sense as the Bucs are far worse at defending the run, and it worked out. Sure, it helped that Jon Kitna’s dad hooked them up with some key fumbles and a field goal miss, but hey, that’s how God rolls. No such worries this week though, because the Bears have struggled against both the pass and the run, in large part due to injuries. Therefore, I expect the Lions to revert back to Tank Johnson football – guns a blazin’, baby.
Pick: Lions +5

Indy @ Carolina +7
Mazzone: There's no such thing as a trap game if David Carr is the opposing team's QB. I think the Colts will be looking ahead to the Patriots, so they may only win by 13. In related news, how many people have to talk about the Colts flying under the radar, before they aren't flying under the radar anymore? It's always great when every media outlet is a week late on a potential story like that and all the stories come out within a couple days of each other. This just in, the defending champs are still great!
Pick: Colts -7

Durden: A couple of things you could look at are the Panthers coming off a bye, and the Colts playing on short rest. Then when you’re done, you can stop wasting your time. There’s no way the NFL is letting Vinny or Carr come remotely close to ruining Pats @ Colts next week.
Pick: Colts -7

NYG @ Miami (London) +10
Mazzone: Ah, I remember when I heard about the London game, it being a "home" game for the Dolphins and how annoyed I was at that. "This better not cost them a playoff spot!" The good old days… Anyway, I'd feel better about the Dolphins chances if giant robotic Jason Taylor lined up on defense for them. Even though you could make a legitimate argument for not throwing John Beck to the wolves with this mess of a team, I'd like to see him after the bye week regardless of whether or not the Giants D-line eats Cle Lemon this week.
Pick: Miami +10

Durden: I get what the NFL is doing here, it’s just stupid. As if their season hadn’t been enough, Miami now loses a home game to London, and people over there are forced to watch them play. Whatever happens in London, stays in London! Speaking of London, here’s Channing Crowder joking around about it – or is he? Sadly though, I think any wild card introduced to a match-up can only benefit the Dolphins, but a decimated defense and no Ronnie Brown is too much to overlook.
Pick: Giants +10

Oakland @ Tennessee -7.5
Mazzone: The Titans are coming off their first win in franchise history without Vince Young at QB, so that should give them some added confidence in case he can't make it through the full game this week. I expect a defensive struggle, and the Raiders to keep it close.
Pick: Raiders +7.5

Durden: I’m pretty sure this is the most surprising line of the week. The Titans just proved they’re woefully inept in the red zone, and almost let Sage Rosenfels complete a 25 point, 4th quarter comeback. These Raiders may not be good, but they’ve managed to stay in most games.
Pick: Raiders +7.5

Philadelphia @ Minnesota +1
Mazzone: The two Eagles wins came against awful pass defenses (Lions ranked 30th, Jets ranked 26 th). Minnesota is dead last in defending the pass and they only have one thing to game plan against on offense. Sure, Adrian Peterson is an animal and his touches might be increased with Chester Taylor being bothered by injuries, but the Eagles are solid against the run (ranked 8 th) and Minnesota, barring defensive touchdowns, can't beat them any other way as long as Tarvaris Jackson is throwing the football.
Pick: Eagles -1

Durden: The few things I’ve read about this game suggest that the Vikings should go with Kelly Holcomb at QB, because he’s very familiar with the Eagles. It’s not bad logic, except that it means the Eagles are also very familiar with Kelly and whatever few strengths he may actually have. Truth is, I just don’t have a great feel for this game but I have a hard time believing the Eagles are a 2-5 team.
Pick: Eagles -1

Pittsburgh @ Cincy +3.5
Mazzone: It took a couple weeks, but I finally believe that the Bengals are actually as bad as they've shown us so far. Even so, their schedule is pretty weak the rest of the way, and it wouldn't be shocking if they gave false hope to their fans and went on a little winning streak. But it won't start this week.
Pick: Steelers -3.5

Durden: Maybe it was just the “brutal” 35 degree weather, but Big Gay Ben was TERRIBLE on Sunday night before the Steelers realized he really just shouldn’t be throwing further than 10 yards down the field. He was lucky to only have 2 of his passes picked off in the first half, yet those likely made the difference against the Broncos, as Pittsburgh was not too bad otherwise. I think they’ll bounce back just fine against a bad, banged up Bengals team that appears to be a mess right now. Finally, I wanted to show you all that classy, civilized Steeler fans do exist. Unfortunately, this is all I could find.
Pick: Steelers -3.5

Buffalo @ NYJ -3
Mazzone: Um, I haven't picked many home teams yet. So, there's that…
Pick: Jets -3

Durden: Maybe this would’ve been a better London game, since the Giants are actually playoff bound. Anyways, now that the Jets are 1-6, my guess is that teams will stop videotaping them from the sidelines. Fortunately for them, I think that and the home field advantage should be enough to double their win total for the season.
Pick: Jets -3

Jacksonville @ Tampa Bay -4
Mazzone: The Jacksonville defense is excellent, but their inability to hit the playmaker button and force turnovers will continue to haunt them. A short field would significantly help and offense that will be without David Garrard and possibly MJD. While I don't think Quinn Gray can possibly be as bad as he was in relief last week (and Tampa is certainly not Indy), I'm still not ready to take him on the road.
Pick: Bucs -4

Durden: Before the Garrard injury, these teams were almost much mirror images of each other, with their D and ultra-conservative offenses keeping them in games. Not surprisingly, the AFC team in this case is better, but not when you replace Garrard with Quinn Gray. Words can not describe how bad that guy was against the Colts, and anyone that saw him play, knows what I’m talking about. Gray and a banged up MJD should equal bad times for the Jags.
Pick: Bucs -4

New Orleans @ San Fran +3
Mazzone: A matchup of two 2-4 teams (truth be told, the Niners should be 0-6 as anyone who saw their two wins can tell you). One was America's Team just a year ago, and the other was the favorite sleeper amongst the "experts" this season. Alex Smith is back at the helm for San Fran, but he may be without Darrell Jackson due to a quad injury. It's certainly more exciting to take the sexier Saints, but the truth is both these teams are bad, so I'm going with the home team and the points.
Pick: Niners +3

Durden: The Niners at home off the bye are enticing, but Alex Smith and Frank Gore less than 100% behind a line that’s been bad, do not inspire much confidence. Maybe the Saints should’ve looked better than they did against Atlanta, but I think they’ll win their 3rd in a row and flirt with playoff contention for a few weeks before they miss out.
Pick: Saints -3

Houston @ San Diego -11
Mazzone: It was tough to see Sage Rosenfels and the Texans "ROBBED" (oooooh) of a miraculous comeback win by Bironas and the Titans last week. Another loss, more injuries to deal with and now they have to face the new America's Team. By now, we all know that if there's anything that can save southern California and lift the people's spirits in the wake of the latest wildfires, it's professional football and the San Diego Super Chargers.
Pick: America's Team -11

Durden: Katrina Jr.? It’s unfortunate what’s going on out there, and it simply does not help that George Bush doesn’t care about white people. Yes, I know Norv Turner already has a big enough obstacle heading into games (himself), and this probably didn’t help much. However, I’m still taking them in my own Survivor Pool, and I feel confident that they’ll take care of business. Pick: Chargers -11

Washington @ New England -16.5
Mazzone: I don’t think the Pats are susceptible to a “trap game”, but the Redskin defense should be good enough to cover.
Pick: Redskins +16.5

Durden: The Patriots have only beaten a team by less than 20 once all season. The Redskins may be the most respectable opponent they’ll face to date, but Washington’s secondary did not finish the game as healthy as it started, and that’s enough for me to pick the Pats to cover yet again.
Pick: Patriots -16.5

Green Bay @ Denver -3
Mazzone: Brett Farve is fresh off a bye week where I’m sure he took home the Fed Ex air player of the week award and won another spot on the horse trailer for his performance watching the Colts/Jags game. The defeat of the Steelers was almost an impressive win for the Broncos before they fell apart and had to eke out a last second victory. I’m still not sure what to make of them, but I know I’m sick of a severely average Packers team winning games, so…
Pick: Denver -3

Durden: Anyone else suspect that John Madden will conveniently overcome his fear of flying to be at this game for his beloved Brett? I hate to say this, but Madden or not, I think we all may be in store for some of that “magic” on Monday. Of course, by magic, I just mean I think the Packers will beat a Denver team who hasn’t put together consecutive good games yet. We all know how the media will spin it on Tuesday morning though…
Pick: Packers +3

Week 7 Picks: Spread'em Challenge

2007-10-19T13:20:00.000-07:00

A late night and long drive back to San Diego from the Home Depot Center last night is responsible for the picks being late, so let's cut right to the chase.

Last week, Durden reclaimed the three games I had stolen from him and upped his lead back to six. Onto this weeks picks.

Click clack.

Arizona @ Washington -8
Mazzone: Durden always jokes about Leinart and Warner being held together by paper clips and rubber bands. Now it's true. "Cardinals QB Kurt Warner has settled on a combination of tape and a brace to hold his injured elbow in place and says he's feeling good about being able to play Sunday at Washington." I think the ‘Skins win, but with both teams trying to run out the clock from the opening kickoff I think the Cards could keep it close.
Pick: Cardinals +8

Durden: You know the saying about how DBs would be WRs, if only they could catch? Well that would’ve applied to the Redskins last week, except their WRs weren’t much better. Those that watched know that Washington should’ve beaten the Packers. Will they bounce back? Will they overlook the Cards in anticipation of the Pats next week? These questions, an offensive line decimated by injuries, no Shawn Springs, and God giving Arizona back both Warner and Boldin, make me think the win won’t come so easy for Washington on Sunday.
Pick: Cardinals +8

Atlanta @ New Orleans -8.5
Mazzone: You can’t feel good about either pick here. Each team has only put together one good game. But of the Falcons 5 losses, only two have been by more than 7 and one of those was to a significantly better Giants team last week. Falcons tend to play bad teams close, Saints haven’t proven they don’t completely suck yet. So, give me the points.
Pick: Falcons +8.5

Durden: I was all set to take the points, but the Falcons had to go and start Byron Fatwich. Between that, and the Dolphins trading Chris Chambers, it appears the race for the #1 pick in the 2008 NFL Draft is officially on (leave it to the Rams to rush Bulger back). Anyway, I’ll pick the Saints coming back against the Fatwiches on short rest, especially since they helped make me look good last week.
Pick: Saints -8.5

Baltimore @ Buffalo +3
Mazzone: Trent Edwards for starting quarterback! Even with him at the helm, Matt Stover’s Ravens should win this one comfortably behind 8 field goals.
Pick: Ravens -3

Durden: It would appear that Willis is a prophet and DID know what he was talkin’ bout! As reviled as he is in Buffalo for those dickish comments (among others), it appears the Bills are now looking into his suggestion. Too bad they never looked into actually getting the man some help, but unfortunately for him, his current offense isn’t much better. I made it a point to detail the Ravens’ problems on their offensive line, and if you watched Sunday, you saw why. Boller and McGahee took the beating of their lives against the Rams, and there’s no reason to expect much better on Sunday.

Injuries are really piling up for Baltimore, and we’ll find out how they handle it on Sunday. All signs are pointing towards them being without the following players on Sunday: the entire OL, Pryce, Ray, McAlister, Heap & McNair. While they’re trying to dance around the issue, it’s pretty clear they’re hoping to get past Buffalo and get these guys three weeks of rest in time for the Pittsburgh game, as well as a brutal remaining schedule in general. I do think the Ravens can leave Buffalo a win, but these type of strategies have a way of biting teams in the ass. I’ll take the good guys with fingers crossed.
Pick: Ravens -3

Minnesota @ Dallas -9.5
Mazzone: TPS has been talking up Purple Jesus since the getgo. After last week, that won't be necessary anymore. Unfortunately, we don't know if it's enough for Major Dad to force feed him the ball or continue to give the chairman, Chester Taylor, the bulk of the touches. Regardless, there's no way Dallas lets Adrian Peterson do what he did to the Bears last week, and Tarvaris Jackson is still pathetic.
Pick: Cowboys -9.5

Durden: I gotta stick with what we’ve been preaching as far as Dallas is concerned, which is: if you can’t beat them through the air, you’re d-u-n. Props to AD for his historic game last week, but it’ll be interesting to see how he follows that up against a Cowboy team who should come back strong after losing to New England. Of course, given the Vikings’ awful pass “attack,” he may not get a chance to do much. Dallas may not get much out of MBIII this game, but look for AT LEAST 3 Romo TDs, 2 TO TDs and 2 Tarvaris INTs.
Pick: Cowboys -9.5

New England @ Miami +17
Mazzone: I've spent all week trying to talk myself into this one. I'm not quite there yet, but by Sunday I should be able to convince myself that the Dolphins will pull off the upset of the century, of the week.
Pick: Ronnie Brown +17

Durden: Here are a couple of quotes that help to explain why/how dismal this season has been for the Dolphins.

- "The season is not half over," first-year coach Cam Cameron said. "My experience is that when you get completely sick and tired of the feeling we have right now, then things will change." (just let us know when you guys are COMPLETELY sick and tired, Cam Cam)

- "It's another step in the right direction, to be able to beat a team that everybody says you're supposed to beat," Cleveland coach Romeo Crennel said. "I talked to the guys all during the week about not underestimating these guys or taking them lightly. To be able to come out and get this win against a team that you're supposed to beat, that's a plus. You've got to be able to do that in this league." (when Romeo Crennel doesn’t need a coin flip to figure out that the Browns are SUPPOSED to beat you, something’s going horribly wrong)

Back to this game though, I’m not picking against the Patriots until they slip up. You were warned that last week’s Patriots game was overhyped, and sure enough, it was. Remember, it’s only a big game in October if Derek Jeter’s hitting into double plays.
Pick: Patriots -17

San Francisco @ Giants -9
Mazzone: San Francisco gives up a lot of sacks. The Giants sack the quarterback a lot. I may not be a football expert, but I know that means Trent Dilfer is in for a long day. I said 6-2 before the bye wasn't out of the question after the slow start by the Giants. It's looking likely, and by season's end they'll be one of the top two teams in the NFC, the media will catch on and we'll hear some Super Bowl contender talk for Eli and company. And it won't be unrealistic.
Pick: Giants -9

Durden: Anyone else tired of this season’s Willis Reed? Plaxico Burress said after Monday night's game that his ankle was so sore on Sunday that he feared he might sit out against Atlanta. It’s been the same story for weeks now, yet he’s still OK to high step his way into the endzone when given the chance. Either Plax is fibbing, or his will alone at this point is good enough to cover the spread. Fortunately for the Giants, it won’t matter with Dilfer behind center for the 49ers.
Pick: Giants -9

Tampa Bay @ Detroit -2.5
Mazzone: I've given zero respect to the Bucs all season, and I can't think of a good reason to start now. Roy Williams should find the end zone twice this week.
Pick: Lions -2.5

Durden: "I learned from Bud Grant that every coach needs three things -- a loyal dog, a faithful wife and a heck of a quarterback. Finally, I've got a guy giving me good, consistent play.'' -Jon Gruden, apparently with a loose interpretation of the word “wife”

Look, I love red-headed QBs as much as the next guy, but come on. The Bucs aren’t that good and we know this. Mike Martz off the bye and at home, should lead to a nice day for the Lions’ offense, as well as Calvin hopefully reminding us that there’s another stud offensive rookie.
Pick: Lions -2.5

Tennessee @ Houston +1.5
Mazzone: Slowly, Houston is slowly getting its offense back from injury. Meanwhile, Vince Young may be out and the Titans have never won a game without Vince Young.
Pick: Texans +1.5

Durden: Not much to say about this game, and hopefully I’ll see even less of it on Sunday. The Titans D is for real, and it’s hard to take the Texans too seriously without Andre, not to mention they made the Jags’ offense look like New England’s last week. Houston’s going to have to do a better job of getting to the QB than they’ve been doing recently to have a shot.
Pick: Titans -1.5

Kansas City @ Oakland -3
Mazzone: If Herman Edwards keeps this up, we may have to start giving him credit for being more than just a motivator and time management specialist. Since I’m not ready to do that…
Pick: Raiders -3

Durden: If the Chargers were in any other AFC Division, there probably would’ve been reason for concern at some point. Luckily for them they’re the Seahawks of the AFC, which means they can (and probably will) all but beg a division rival to take the division, to no avail. Are you excited for this matchup yet? I think I’m going with the team who has the better offense and defense, but I know I’m definitely going with the points.
Pick: Chiefs +3

New York Jets @ Cincy -6
Mazzone: Even if I didn't loathe the Jets, I can't pick them to cover with Pennington bear being prominently involved. Big day in store for Chad Johnson – the second best receiver…on his own team.
Pick: Bengals -6

Durden: Teams must be dying to play the Jets at this point. If there was somehow any doubt that their trip to the playoffs last year was a joke, it’s certainly been removed by now. You guys still aren’t looking to bench or trade Pennington, really??

I’m taking the Bengals, and want to take this opportunity to recommend this article. Definitely check it out.
Pick: Bengals -6

Chicago @ Philly -5
Mazzone: Talk about two unimpressive teams. The Eagles did not look good against the lowly Jets last week, and the Bears couldn’t figure out how to contain the Vikings only weapon – even choosing to kick off to him with the game on the line. East coast bias has me inclined to believe the Eagles are the more likely of the two to “still be good”.
Pick: Eagles -5

Durden: Was anyone else surprised by Philly not putting a beating on the Jets last week? There’s no shame in a 9 point win on the road, and Akers did miss 2 FGs, but I really thought the Eagles’ offense would be good for more than just one TD. I suppose it also helped that Thomas Jones was able to single-handedly keep the Time of Possession close. Whatever it was, I’m going to go with Philly again and continue picking against the Bears. Hopefully we’ll hear some good O-VER-RA-TED chants coming out of the Linc, because people need to stop slurping on Chicago.
Pick: Eagles -5

St. Louis @ Seatlle -9
Mazzone: So far, I’ve had a hard time figuring out when the good Seattle team is going to show up instead of the bad one. Last week, I realized it’s quite possible the good one has been a figment of my imagination this whole time.
Pick: Rams +9

Durden: I’ve made it well known that I hate the Seahawks. They’re impossible to figure out, and insist on underachieving. I was all set to pick against them for the rest of the season until last Sunday afternoon, when I saw the most pathetic thing I’ve seen in a long time. Losing 22-3 late in the 4th quarter to the Ravens, and with Marc Bulger warming up, Gus Frerotte throws yet another incomplete pass on first down. Frerotte starts to come off, but instead of putting in Bulger, St. Louis opts to put in a WR under center. As I’m getting excited to see what kind of trick play they have in store, the Rams kneel out the clock. What?!?!

Scott Linehan, you are a female dog.
Pick: Seahawks -9

Pittsburgh @ Denver +3.5
Mazzone: The Broncos have no business keeping this one close, but there’s only one ROCKtober! Catch the fever!
Pick: Denver +3.5

Durden: Easy money. There’s just very little to like about this Denver team, and I’m more inclined to respect the Steelers off the bye than the Broncos. I expect Above-Average Speed Willie Parker to run wild for 150+ yards, but struggle to score a TD, as per usual. No worries for Pittsburgh though, there are plenty of vultures on that offense.
Pick: Steelers -3.5

Indy @ Jax +3
Mazzone: This is a much bigger game for the Jags than the Colts and there should be some extra energy on prime time. David Garrard is being called a great "game manager", which is one of the most retarded phrases in football, but I'll rant about that some other time. Truth is, he's just been a solid quarterback. MJD finally has the running game going a bit, and the Jags are looking legit. If Peyton and the Colts didn't have two weeks to prepare for this one I'd like the Jags a lot more, but even with a loss here I don't think this is the last you'll hear from them.
Pick: Colts -3

Durden: This week, on “Everyone Forgets This But…,” it’s time to remind readers that everyone forgets this but, the Colts are a different animal at home. To be fair though, while it hasn’t been easy, Indy’s already beaten divisional rivals on the road twice which is something they didn’t do once last season. However, Jacksonville is looking legit and forget about Marvin Harrison being iffy, Tony Ugoh is the real X-factor. If he’s banged up, it could be just enough to slow down the Colts and give the Jags a serious shot to win. Maybe I’m just excited to be excited about a MNF game again, but give me the points.
Pick: Jaguars +3

Chambers to Chargers

2007-10-16T19:05:00.000-07:00

When rumors of Chris Chambers being on the trading block surfaced in the preseason Durden and I discussed possible destinations that might make sense.

There were a handful of teams that could have benefitted from acquiring Chambers (Vikings, Chiefs, etc…), but we settled on the Chargers being the logical choice for a plethora of reasons. So, while I’m surprised at when the deal went down, I’m not exactly shocked that it happened.

Despite statements from the organization saying otherwise, barring an extremely successful season by him and the Dolphins it was clear that this was going to be Chambers’ last season in Miami.

I’ve long been a Chambers apologist, expected big things from him, and was thrilled when they locked him up with a long term deal. Unfortunately, the truth is he wasn’t living up to his price tag and it was time for the Dolphins to cut him lose.

He’ll be 30 next year and Chambers has never put together a full season since being drafted in 2001. Even his best year (2005: 82 catches, 1118 yards, 11 TDs) was completely skewed by a ridiculous last 6 games (43 catches, 620 yards, 6 TDs). Aside from that he never surpassed 1000 yards despite being one of the most targeted receivers in the NFL.

In fairness to Chambers, everyone should be well aware of the difficulties he faced on lousy Dolphin teams. New head coaches, rotating coordinators and WR coaches, countless double teams, terrible supporting casts (James McKnight, Derrius Thompson, Dedric Ward, David Boston, to name a few), and one subpar QB after another brought in to over throw and under throw him several times a game. And while he’s had his fair share of inexcusable drops, he’s also made quite a few spectacular catches...he'll literally (and by literally I mean figuritively) jump out of the stadium and remarkably, ALWAYS comes down in bounds.

In the end, I think this is one of those rare trades that seems perfect for both teams. Chambers has the opportunity to take the Charger offense to a whole new level. Dolphin fans have always thought he’d make a superb number 2 receiver, which is essentially what he’ll be with Gates getting most of the attention. He gives Rivers another legitimate veteran option and should help to move the chains without having to completely burn out LDT by the time the postseason rolls around. And if the opposing team sleeps on him, he can still beat them deep, or even pull off a big run on an end around/reverse.

The addition of Chambers puts the Chargers offense a notch below the elites (New England, Indy) and right with the Cowboys. They’ve got the offensive line, and weapons all over the place. It’s up to the coaching staff to turn ‘em loose and it’s up to Rivers to execute – he’s obviously the key to it all. If that happens, and I think it will, we’ll have another serious contender in the AFC by seasons end.

Meanwhile, the 0-6 Dolphins were clearly going nowhere. They already drafted Chambers' replacement in the Ginn Family, but need to get younger and better (particularly on defense), so the draft pick makes sense. Chambers’ time had come and gone and his value wasn’t going to get any higher over the course of the season. At one point there were some pundits saying he’d be traded for a fourth rounder, or possibly released outright. So, to get back the 2nd rounder they used on him, 6 years after the fact, is not bad considering Chris Chambers was not going to be the guy to turn the team around over the last two+ seasons of his contract.

Now, they’ll get a good look at Ted Ginn and Derek Hagan, and they added another first day draft pick. It’s no secret that success in the NFL comes from nailing your draft picks and keeping them with you. Well, that and cheating. But since the NFL has cracked down on cheating, and Shula is no longer on the rules committee the Dolphins have to try the draft pick route.

Thanks to the Ricky Williams trade, as well as a few other poor decisions (Feeley, Culpepper, etc…), the Dolphins had been light on draft picks in recent history. So the demise shouldn’t come as a total shock. When you lose guys to free agency, retirement, suspension, injuries, and just plain get older without any upper echelon young talent to replace them, you’re going to struggle. This regime actually seems to get that, and is trying to build through the draft. All TEN draft picks made the roster and quite a few have shown some potential. You’d have to go back almost ten years for the last time the Dolphins even had that many picks, let alone all of them making the roster.

It’s way too early to know how long it will take to turn around the franchise but we should get a better idea by the end of the season just by taking a closer look at the recent draft picks. If Mueller and Cameron can prove to be solid talent evaluators then this thing could get turned around rather quickly.

The good: Vernon Carey has finally come around, Ronnie Brown has proven to the masses what I already knew, Channing Crowder should be a staple of the defense for years to come, Samson Satele has looked solid in his debut season. You know things aren't great when a punter is listed under “the good”, but Brandon Fields has a leg on him and looks like he should be pretty good. Of course, they let Donnie Jones go, who’s been nothing short of the best.

The bad: Jason Allen has been given his last chance and will be out the door if he doesn’t show anything at FS the rest of the way. Travis Daniels is in the same boat as Jason Allen, and it’s sinking fast. Matt Roth has shown his motor, but nothing else. If he can’t find ways to get to the QB with Jason Taylor opposite him, there’s reason for concern. Hopefully increased playing time will do wonders for Derek Hagan. Because so far all we know is he’s not that fast, his routes are iffy, and he has hands like feet, but other than that he’s great…

The ugly: Only one draft pick from the years prior to 2004 is still on the Dolphins roster (6th round pick in 2003, Yeremiah Bell, and he’s never made it through a season healthy).

The unknowns:
There are others, but the most important ones are…

John Beck – I feel good about Beck being successful, unfortunately if we get to see him at all this year it will be against the tough part of the Dolphins' schedule. It will be interesting to see how Cameron handles him.

The Ginn Family – The last couple weeks we saw why we were going to enjoy watching this kid return kicks. Now, if only we could eliminate the holding penalties so they don’t get called back. He’s also shown some big play potential in the passing game. I’m less down on him than I was prior to the draft (I wanted Willis, would have settled for Okoye), but he still has quite a bit to prove.

Rodrique Wright – I liked him in college and thought his shoulder injury was a blessing in disguise for the Dolphins. Hopefully, he turns out to be a 7th round steal. He’s shown some flashes, but has a ways to go.

Lorenzo Booker – Reports of his greatness during camp appear to be exaggerated as he hasn’t been awarded a chance to prove himself on Sundays despite the Dolphins’ struggles. Even so, the praise was coming from coaches, veterans, media, pretty much anyone that caught a glimpse. So, there might be something there. Best case scenario: Warrick Dunn

Glenn Dorsey – Whoops, I’m getting ahead of myself here.

So, for all the criticizing that's been handed down over the last few years to the Dolphins front office (and rightfully so), it appears they got this one right.

I'm a Chambers supporter and I hope he finds success in San Diego. In fact, I'll be sporting his Miami Jersey when i head to the Chargers/Ravens game next month. At the same time, this is a move the Dolphins had to make, so I applaud and respect that they actually pulled the trigger. Now, let's hope they grab the right guy in next years draft.

Yep, with 10 games to play in this season I'm already pondering next season's draft. Ladies and Gentlemen, your 2007 Miami Football Dolphins!

One for the road...

Spread 'em: Week 6 In-N-Out Challenge

2007-10-11T22:26:00.000-07:00

My .500 record last week was good enough to cut Durden’s lead in half, to three cheeseburgers. Let’s hope that’s a sign of things to come and I’ve finally righted the ship.

This week’s story lines include:

**Donovan and the Eagles coming off their bye. McNabb can take comfort knowing that it’s not just white quarterbacks that the members of the media give preferential treatment to. I’m also anxious to see if he can find his receivers when they aren’t wearing powder puff blue and yellow.

**The Ravens giving more points than they scored all last game.

**Kellen Winslow telling Joey Porter he's an angry man that needs a hug.

**Deuce Davenport is in the news again, unfortunately it doesn’t involve a closet or a girl’s laundry basket this time.

**Trent Green is alive…sort of.

**The Saints needing a miracle...or a tragedy, to help turn their season around.

**Durden and I picking 5 of the 13 games differently.

**Oh, and there’s a game in Dallas that’s supposed to be pretty big.

So, here we go…Click Clack

Bengals @ Chiefs +3
Mazzone: I’m sure Chad Johnson is trying to figure out a way to upstage the TO/Moss battle. Hopefully he has something spectacular in store for his TD celebration this weekend. The Bengals can’t play defense and the Chiefs have a few guys that should be able to take advantage (Bowe, Gonzalez, LJ). Arrowhead is a tough place to play, but I think Carson and friends know they need this one and will find a way to light up the scoreboard.
Pick: Bengals -3

Durden: Tough game to start with, as I think both teams have had at least some bad luck with their schedules. Honestly, no one’s really got either team truly figured out. Give me the points and the home team, against a Bengals team without Willie Anderson, Jonathan Joseph and (maybe) Rudi Johnson.
Pick: Chiefs +3

Texans @ Jags -6.5
Mazzone: The Jags find a way to dominate time of possession despite the fact that their running game is the worst in the NFL at converting 3^rd/4^th down and less than 3 yards. They also have a league high 34% of their running plays “stuffed”, resulting in either no gain or negative yardage on first down and on downs two through four, plays resulting in less than 1/4^th of the distance needed for a first down. The good news is that the Texans are near the bottom at stuffing the run and stopping 3^rd/4^th and short running plays, so the Jags should have an easier time of it on Sunday.
Pick: Jaguars -6.5

Durden: I want to talk about how the Texans D is pretty good, but it let up 19 points to Miami last week. I want to talk about how every Jaguars game is close because of their vanilla offense and stifling D. Most of all though, I want to complain about another spread being too high. Then I’m going to pick it anyways, and still be pissed when I’m wrong.
See? - - - > Pick: Jaguars -6.5

Dolphins @ Browns -4.5
Mazzone: I’m excited for this one. The Dolphins passed on Brady Quinn as part of their plan to land John Beck in round 2. Now it’s time for Quinn to try and extract revenge. With Trent Green concussed again, all eyes will be on Quinn vs. Beck. The Ginn Family should have a bigger role with Hagan out, as well... What’s that?

Derek Anderson?…Cleo Lemon? Really?!
Oh, ok, never mind…
Pick: Ronnie Brown +4.5

Durden: Add fortune teller to the list of Jason Taylor’s many talents: "He'd better not get hit. One big hit, and he could be scrambled eggs." –Jason Taylor (speaking this summer about Trent Green). The real story being overlooked though, is Ted Ginn finally shutting up his critics. Who would have guessed that Ginn in just Week 5, would give this Miami team its biggest, most important play of the season? Well, his botched reverse play was just that, as it led to Trent Green’s concussion. You don’t exactly hear anyone pushing for Green to come back soon, do you? That will be looked back upon as a turning point for a team that was going nowhere fast, but in the meantime, I expect the Dolphins to at least keep it close again this Sunday.
Pick: Dolphins +4.5

Vikings @ Bears -5.5
Mazzone: The Vikings are clearly here solely for our entertainment. They brought us the love boat, the original whizzinator and now WWE in the locker room. Supposedly, Erasmus James threw a punch then Chester Taylor took a chair to James and put him out of commission for at least this week. The scuffle has been confirmed, the details have not yet, but I'm rooting for the chair rumors to be true. As if that wasn’t a bad sign in itself, Tarvaris Jackson likely returns to the lineup for the Vikings. You know what that means…
Pick: Bears -5.5

Durden: Difficult to like much about the (1-3) Vikings on the road, but they’ve at least been in every game they’ve played in. We know the Bears won’t be able to run on them, and I just don’t see Griese pulling away from them at any point through the air. This, combined with the Bears still being banged up on D, and it’s suddenly easier than I thought it would be.
Pick: Vikings +5.5

Eagles @ Jets +3
Mazzone: It’s a spell off! The J-E-T-S JETS! JETS! JETS! vs. E-A-G-L-E-S Eagles! The winner is the first one to correctly spell chrysanthemum. Since McNabb is well spoken (you know, for a black QB), and Pennington is spouting off things like this, "You hear the saying, 'More is better,'" Pennington told Newsday. "Well, sometimes less is better", I’m going with the Iggles. If you prefer logical football reasoning: Eagles are 8-0 under Andy Reid after a bye, the Jets pass D is ranked 25^th and is nearly identical to the Lions D that McNabb shredded earlier in the year with the exception that that Jets don’t pick the ball off like the Lions have.
Pick: Eagles -3

Durden: The Eagles come right back to Giants Stadium after the bye, and I think they’ll be more than ready for this Jets team. Thomas Jones is already complaining about a lack of touches, but you’re not going to beat this Philly team on the ground. Fortunately for the Eagles, we know the Jets’ air attack has been awful while Pennington’s been under center. I also anticipate that two weeks was enough for Philly to address its pass protection issue, though getting to the QB isn’t really a strength of the Jets’ either. Then again, what is really?
Pick: Eagles -3

Rams @ Ravens -9.5
Mazzone: The Ravens offense has scored five touchdowns in 20 quarters of football. Their wins have been by 7, 3, and 2 points against the likes of the Jets, Cardinals, and 49ers. The defense is still solid, but not spectacular, like it once was. To nobody’s surprise, McNair is going to try and play hurt. To everyone’s surprise, even I think the Ravens might be better off with Kyle Boller at the helm. I wonder if the Ravens realize how important these next two games are before their week 8 bye. Weeks 9-17 have this to offer up, in order: @Pittsburgh, Cincinnati, Cleveland, @San Diego, New England, Indianapolis, @Miami, @Seattle, Pittsburgh. Ouch.
Pick: Rams +9.5

Durden: More easy money for anyone interested this week, as this Ravens team being the biggest favorite in any week is simply absurd. If it wasn’t bad enough that McNair continues to be the QB, injuries have now decimated the offensive line and it is now the youngest starting line in the league, with an average age of 23 and no more backups! The next youngest line in the league is Arizona’s, whose average age is 26. Steve McNair, what’s wrong with the offense? Is it your weak arm that’s led to only THREE 20yd+ completions??

"There are a lot of possibilities," said McNair, who has more turnovers (five) than touchdown passes (two). I think that's the thing that people look at. They want to see this explosive offense instead of seeing the fact that this team moves the ball down the field at their own pace."

UGHHHHHHHHHHH.
Pick: Rams +9.5

Titans @ Bucs -3
Mazzone: Last week, Vince Young couldn’t even lose when he tried to and now you’re going to give him points?!
Pick: Vince Young +3

Durden: The Bucs proved last week that their “strong” start was just a function of their weak opening schedule. They’re a team that can be run on by anyone, and the Titans offense will be more than happy to oblige, after an awful performance last week. Tampa’s weak offense would’ve struggled against a solid Tennessee D with Petigout, Cadillac and Pittman, but now they’re really up against it without those guys.
Pick: Titans +3

Redskins @ Green Bay -3.5
Mazzone: I don’t hate Brett Farve, I swear. I just think we should spend more time talking about his pain killer addiction and his refusal to be a mentor for Aaron Rodgers. Or maybe the interceptions that cost them the game last week? Or how he cheated on his wife with John Madden? Anyway, going into Lambeau without Santana Moss (might play) and Randle El (doubtful) would be bad news for Jason Campbell. The poise everyone’s been raving about (myself included) will be tested. Farve’s child-like love for the game and sheer determination should be able to will the Packer defense to rattle Campbell.
Pick: Green Bay -3.5

Durden: Anyone else excited to watch the Packer bandwagon go down in flames?? Maybe it’s out of spite, but I really do think it’s about time that teams figure out they can just wait out Favre mistakes. This game will be close, but I expect Washington to run on Green Bay and finally get Favre to the INT record.
Pick: Redskins +3.5

Panthers @ Cardinals -4
Mazzone: "I felt like my grandpa Monday. I felt like my dad today. Hopefully I'll feel like my 7-year-old son by Sunday," David Carr said regarding his injury. I’m not sure what to make of that, does his son wear dainty white gloves too? Well, if Carr is unable to go, it means Grandpa Vinny could get the call. Sure, the Cardinals aren’t exactly sitting pretty at QB, but with Jon Kitna’s Lions on a bye this week there’s no reason to think God won’t be in Kurt Warner’s corner.
Pick: Cardinals -4

Durden: God is a woman, and her name is Brenda Warner. Matt Leinart should’ve known better, and the Cardinal offense will finally be led by the better QB on the roster, on a full-time basis. On the other sideline, Steve Smith may actually kill Vinny Testaverde before halftime. Seriously.
Pick: Cardinals -4

Patriots @ Cowboys +5.5
Mazzone: I’m sure you’ve heard enough about this game by now. So I’ll leave it at this. The line opened at 4, moved to 5.5, and it’s probably not done going up. I wouldn’t mind if I was wrong, but this looks like free money.
Pick: Patriots -5.5

Durden: Much to the dismay of the national media, I think Romo’s MNF performance is conclusive proof that he is actually not the lovechild of Tom Brady & Brett Favre. The media was however helped out by Nick “Queer as” Folk and the Bills, who snatched defeat from the jaws of victory, and provide us all with an overhyped battle of unbeatens this Sunday in Dallas. The truth though, is that it’s too early in the season for the AFC to be embarrassing the NFC, and I really don’t think it’s fair. I’m not the only one who thinks so either, right Nate? "We've got a little place over here where we're running some whores in and out, trying to be responsible, and we're criticized for that" – Cowboy OG, Nate Newton.

Whoops, sorry. It’s already been a bad week for quotes involving legendary Cowboys, but like the late Jimmy Valvano once said, “if the quote works, use it.”
Pick: Patriots -5.5

Raiders @ Chargers -10
Mazzone: The Raiders have beaten the Dolphins, the Browns, and played the Broncos close. They ran for over 185 yards in all three games. Not coincidentally, those are the three worst teams at stopping the run. So, now the Raiders have had a bye week to prepare for a team that’s actually shown some semblance of being able to stop the run, but they’ll likely be without LaMont Jordan. This week will go a long way in showing if Lane Kiffin’s running game is legit or just the product of porous defenses. I’m going with the latter.
Pick: Chargers -10

Durden: Wow, I just realized that people have already knocked the Ravens spread lower than this game’s. Of course, I’m not sure the Chargers should be the most heavily favored team right now either, but at least they have a pulse on offense with LDT and Gates. They probably are back on track now, but I gotta see it again to believe it.
Pick: Raiders +10

Saints @ Seahawks -7
Mazzone: Archie Manning’s not walking through that door, fans. Deuce McAllister’s not walking through that door, and Hurricane Katrina’s not walking through that door.
Pick: Seahawks -7

Durden: Every week’s a guessing game with these Seahawks. Instead of trying to guess on them though, I just think it’d be fun to go with the Saints already playing the role of spoiler! On a more serious note, I do think that Reggie Bush will have a strong game, while Seattle struggles on offense without Branch. Give me the points.
Pick: Saints +7

Giants @ Falcons +3.5
Mazzone: NFL Schedule makers 1 – Mazzone 0. I’m taking a hiatus from publically criticizing the prime time matchups after last week, but that doesn’t mean I’m not thinking about it. Here's this week's token Peta reference.
Pick: Giants -3.5

Durden: As promised, another scintillating MNF showdown! This one has all the makings of Giants vs. Eagles, as the Falcons have lost both of their starting tackles. The over/under for Osi sacks is 2.5, but that’s subject to change once Fatwich enters the game.
Pick: Giants -3.5

As always, bet safely and BELIEVE IN FOOTBALL

Kurse Watch (Fantasy Focus)

2007-10-09T23:51:00.000-07:00

The Kurse came off Drew Brees' bye and re-announced its presence with authority. Deion Branch out for a couple weeks, Shaun Alexander's fullback retired, Drew Brees crapped the bed...again, and the very injury that Kurse watch predicted in the beginning of the year, and reiterated last week, happened. The Kurse went through Cadillac Williams and knocked out Michael Pittman for a good portion of the season. So, here are this weeks rankings with some bonus comments at the end.

Start planning your retirement.
Drew Brees. It's all over, and I personally apologize to all Saints fans. My brother says he hates Drew Brees, but he only has himself to blame. He should have drafted all Patriots, then he might have had a chance.

Quick, fake an injury!
Shaun Alexander. He's already been severely average. He's playing with a broken hand. His fullback was just forced to retired due to a spinal injury. All not good signs with the kurse running out of targets.

1-2, he's comin' for you...
Travis Henry stays right here this week. I think we all agree that it's only a matter of time at this point.

Safe...for now
Deion Branch! Nice job suffering that "minor" injury in order to avoid more serious damage.

I'm a Survivor!
Randy Moss had an off day, but it's not enough to remove him from this spot. Also, Braylon Edwards is very close to joining him here.

We could be in the midst of the most destructive year in the history of the Kurse. It's not pretty, and shows no signs of letting up, but let's finish up with something a little more positive...

Maybe it's the celebrations, or the endearing "me first" attitude, but I've always been partial to WRs. I always pay special attention to them and here are some observations on a few of the young (3rd year in the league or less) potential breakout WR's over the next season or two:

FYI, this is more "Who's Next", than "Who's Now" so don't expect to see Braylon Edwards/Marques Colston types.

-Dwayne Bowe is a man. I didn't see this coming, and I have a hard time complimenting anything about the Chiefs, but he's far and away the best rookie wide receiver right now (apologies to The Ginn Family), and he would be even if Calvin Johnson was healthy. I'm not simply basing this off of his one huge game against the Chargers, watch him play and you'll see it too. He catches everything, demands the ball, and has a blend of size, strength, and speed that would remind you of Luke Staley.

-Brandon Marshall: He's another one that looks to be pretty solid. He's got the measurables and is in a better situation than Bowe, but Cutler hasn't exactly been the dream QB many pegged him to be. As far as talent/ability goes, I see him as more of a #2 and put him behind Bowe. But his fantasy value is probably similar , maybe even slightly higher, because Denver should end up being less inept on offense than KC and Javon Walker is never on the field to take looks away from him.

-Santonio Holmes: He proved, at least for one week, that he could be a number 1 guy. He was pretty consistent and productive throughout most of his rookie season as well. I wasn't sold on Holmes when he came out, but I certainly think Pittsburgh is getting the most out of him for their offensive style. I'm not sure I'd want him as my #1, or how successful he'd be somewhere else, but in Pittsburgh, as an afterthought to most defenses - perfect fit. A significant upgrade talent wise over Randle El in that same role.

-Vincent Jackson: He finished strong last season and a lot of people were excited about his potential coming into his third season on a loaded Chargers team. His numbers are decent so far, but I have trouble taking him seriously for a number of reasons. First, he even says he's out there to run block more than anything. Second, I've seen him drop too many catchable balls over the last season+. Third, the Chargers just don't throw to people not named Antonio Gates that often. So, what you're getting right now is probably the best you can hope for. About 4 catches for 60-75 yards. If he gets a TD and/or breaks 100 yards, consider yourself fortunate for the week.

-Roddy White: He's had some atrocious drops over his first three seasons, but is making the most of his chances this year. Believe me, I watched Joey Harrington over throw Chris Chambers countless times, so while the number of receptions is discouraging (aside from the Carolina game), I'm sure it's not entirely his fault. That being said, he struggled mightily his first two seasons, and it could be tough for him to flourish in that offense, without a QB. I'd stay away from him this season and next until the Falcons showed some stability and he showed some consistency.

-Demetrius Williams: I've said it before, and I'll say it again. Williams is the real deal. It's almost to the point where I'm even wanting Kyle Boller to start just so there's someone that can reach Demetrius (from his knees even!). If the Ravens had an offensive line that could buy just a little time for a capable QB to throw downfield, their offense would make a much bigger jump than awful to adequate. They have a group of weapons that fit nicely together in Williams, Mason, Clayton, Heap, McGahee, but they're all being wasted right now.

Others I'm keeping an eye on, but want to see more of:
Greg Jennings, James Jones, Jacoby Jones, Sidney Rice, Ted Ginn Jr., Calvin Johnson, Anthony Gonzalez, Robert Meachem, and of course - Chad WOLFEGANG Jackson! Chad was my next big thing at WR coming out of Florida, then he got stuck on the Patriots and tore his ACL. I'm still rooting for him, but it's not going to be easy.

Here are some that I think cannot be successful in their current situations:
Reggie Brown, Devery Henderson, Troy Williamson, Matt Jones, Brandon Jones, Derek Hagan

That's all for now, maybe some baseball tomorrow before the weekly NFL picks on Friday.

Week 5 NFL Notes

2007-10-08T09:40:00.000-07:00

The other day, Durden and I were trying to think of some past RBs that we could compare to Brian Leonard. By that, we mean white, of course. The first name that came to mind for Durden was Luke Staley. Though he was white, I wasn't sold on that comparison until I read the Lions official website about Staley.

"Second-year running back who was making a favorable impression in training camp as a rookie before sustaining a knee injury and having season-ending knee surgery… Placed on Reserve/Injured August 19, 2002… Will compete for the backup running back spot behind incumbent James Stewart… Blessed with the perfect blend of size, strength and speed… Originally drafted by Lions in the seventh round (214th overall) of the 2002 NFL Draft."

After reading this I felt sheepish that I didn't remember Luke Staley as the ideal athlete. I won't make that mistake again and Luke Staley will certainly re-appear in this blog in the future.

But for now, here's a little trip around the NFL...

-The Chargers were flying around on defense and let Gates/Tomlinson do the work on offense as they should, but I'm one of few who isn't ready to declare them "back" just yet. They certainly did their job and capitalized on Denver's mistakes, but I have to believe there won't be too many teams giving the game away in the first quarter and then giving up like the Broncos did.

-Ronnie Brown is on pace for 2300 yards from scrimmage and about 16 TDs. His team's on pace to go 0-16

-The good news for Matt Leinart is that he's not involved in the QB carousel anymore. The good news for us is that we get to watch Kurt Warner try to shimmy out of a sack and fumble three times next weekend.

-I've gone from Eli Manning supporter in his college days to Eli Manning apologist since he was drafted. I'm not a Giants fan by any means, but I did tell my brother I thought they should do whatever it took to draft Eli. Another Jekyll and Hyde performance on Sunday was frustrating, but at least it came against the lowly Jets. If Eli shows any consistency, they're as much a Super Bowl contender as anyone in the NFC.

-Redskins looked great. The Cowboys should be the least comfortable of any remaining undefeateds, even after they take care of the Bills tonight. I still think the NFC East is up for grabs.

-Trent Dilfer looked like his old Super Bowl winning self this weekend. Heck of a pass for the TD though, and the celebration made it even better.

-The Patriots are taking all the attention away from the Colts, but they're just as good and I'm definitely looking forward to week 9. I'm in the minority that think the Colts might even be a little better than the Pats.

-Vince Young single-handedly won another football game (20-33, 157 yards, 3 INTs).

-The Seahawks are probably going to annoy their fans all year depending on which team shows up each week. Take nothing away from the Steelers though, they're legit.

-I'm back to hating the Browns after that debacle of not covering the spread. They had several opportunities late in the game to cover and ice it.

-It was nice to see the fun Brett Favre show up last night with those timely INTs to blow the game for the Pack.

-I'm glad I'm not a Saints fan.

I'm told there's only one October...

2007-10-05T21:34:00.000-07:00

And aside from that minor detail of the Mets not being involved, it's been pretty solid so far.

The Phillies have been throttled at home by the Rockies, and it was none other than KazMat and his googly eyes doing the damage in game two. Beautiful thing.

The Yankees are down 0-2, which is fantastic, but it's obnoxious that they are blaming their game two loss on bugs. For an idea of how bad it was, just ask the person manipulating Joe Torre's corpse...
"You could see them when you looked," Yankees manager Joe Torre said. But could you taste them when you looked?

Another favorite quote from one of the many articles about the bug invasion.
" With bugs sticking to his muscular, sweaty neck, Chamberlain threw a wild pitch in the eighth that gave Cleveland the tying run. Three innings later, the Indians won it."

"I played in the Dominican Republic with [Carmona] last winter, and there were bugs 10 times that size flying around that field,'' Garko said. "Those bugs scared me to death. They were enormous.
"It just shows what kind of guy he is. It doesn't matter if it's raining, it's hot, it's cold or there are bugs. He just goes out there and pitches his heart out.''

TAKE THAT JOBA!

But enough about the bugs, this time could be much better spent blaming A-Rod, if you ask me.

Aside from his striking out 3 times and leading the Yankees in men left on base, he also had the gall to just stand by and watch as Travis Hafner's single fell into right-center field.

So, to recap, he went 0-4 with 3 K's, left 3 men on base, let Vizcaino pitch instead of getting out of the jam himself, didn't track down Hafner's dink into right center, and most importantly, he couldn't keep the bugs of Joba's "muscular, sweaty neck".

Just an awful night for A-Rod, I'm looking forward to the offseason speculation of where he'll end up. I'd be ok with him playing second and batting 5th for the Mets. I'm sure he'll go for it.

...and Manny just walked off, good stuff.

Hopefully, both the Phillies and Yankees end up with as many postseason wins as the Mets. I think the Phillies are as good as done, but the Yanks have a shot just because Paul Byrd and Jake Westbrook will be a welcomed sight after Sabathia and Carmona. Even A-Rod should be able to hit them.

Lastly, this is either a picture of Arod seeing the sweat on Joba's neck and offering to lick it off, or he's trying to figure out if everyone is talking about him while not letting him in their circle of trust....

Spread 'em: Week 5 of the In-N-Out Challenge

2007-10-05T00:04:00.000-07:00

Durden and I both split last week (7-7), so he kept his six cheeseburger lead with a record of 29-27-6.

I’ve got a lot of catching up to do, and the season’s already a quarter of the way through. So no messing around this week, straight to the picks…

Carolina Panthers at New Orleans Saints -3
Mazzone: I feel like every week I find myself saying, “if the Saints don’t win this one, their season is OVER”, and while that doesn’t make any sense after the first week of thinking it, I’m still saying it. We better see a lot of Reggie Bush and DeShaun Foster, mostly because both are starting for my fantasy team this week. Also, there is positive news for the previously cursed Brees later in this post. Combine that with Kris Jenkins saying his Panthers don’t have any heart, and David Carr being at the helm…
Pick: Saints -3

Durden: While both teams have underachieved, you would think the Saints would be the team with internal turmoil, but it’s the Carolina locker room that appears to be shook up. This isn’t me going with New Orleans, it’s me going with the home team coming off a bye.
Pick: Saints -3

Jacksonville Jaguars at Kansas City Chiefs +2.5
Mazzone: The Jags haven’t played well coming off bye weeks under Jack Del Rio, and the Chiefs are fresh off two gutsy comeback wins. I really don’t feel good about either of these teams the rest of the season but with a half point in the line, there must be a winner.
Pick: Jags -2.5

Durden: Khalif Barnes is not a model citizen, and he almost literally drove that point home recently. This is not part of the plan for teams with early bye weeks such as the Jags, who now head to KC without Barnes and Meester on their offensive line, against a stout Chiefs defense. Even worse for them, the Chiefs offense may have actually woken up last week and plus, Eddie Kennison is still a threat in the National Football League…just ask him. "Eddie Kennison is still a big threat in the National Football League.” Kennison told the Kansas City Star.
Pick: Chiefs +2.5

Detroit Lions at Washington Redskins -3.5
Mazzone: Common sense would say that if it’s a high scoring game the Lions would win, and if it’s a low scoring game you might want to take the points. But, common sense has me 6 games behind in this competition. The Redskins have the secondary to matchup with the Lions, but they could struggle on offense if Moss is unable to go. I’ll take the home team, fresh off their bye, and pray I don’t get burned by that half point.
Pick: ‘Skin to win -3.5

Durden: Another home team coming off a bye, the Redskins not only have as much talent in their secondary as anybody to match up with the Lions pass game, but they’ve had the extra time to figure out how to contain it. I’m going to go with Washington in spite of their pathetic collapse against the Giants. I’m also going to go with Washington because the Lions showed last week they could be held in check, if only for three quarters. I don’t know how it happened, so I’ll let Rod Marinelli (kind of, but not really) explain it: "This game was probably like me -- ugly," Marinelli said. "It was also like me because it was a fight."
Pick: Redskins -3.5

Atlanta Falcons at Tennessee Titans -8.5
Mazzone: Vince Young may very well “just win football games”, but not typically by 9 points. Joey Heisman has been playing respectable football. Mike Vick is going to PETA meetings. The Falcons seemed to be turning things around, and I was all set to pick them. Then, I saw this video and couldn’t pick a team with a mascot that would break their own cheerleader’s spirit – on her birthday, no less. Then I watched it again, and I laughed, but still decided to go with the Titans.
Pick: Titans -8.5

Durden: Bobby Petrino, the Falcons' first-year coach, picked up his first NFL win on Sunday. He wore a white cap -- after going without anything on his head the previous week -- in hopes of changing the team's fortunes. "I'm not superstitious or anything," he said. "But I was changing it up until we got a win. You'll probably see the white hat for a while." No Bobby, we won’t. I’ll take any team that gets 2 weeks to prepare for Yoey Harrington and the Falcons.
Pick: Titans -8.5

Ronnie Brown at Houston Texans -5.5
Mazzone: My boy attempts to become just the second running back ever to gain 200+ yards from scrimmage in three straight games (Walter Payton). Houston’s offense is pretty banged up, but how healthy do you have to be to hand the ball off and watch your running back go? The Dolphins are allowing an astounding 199.2 yards per game on the ground. The last time anyone came within 25 yards of that was in 1987 (Falcons 182.3 ypg). If the Texans can limit Ronnie Brown, it’s probably over. If not, there’s hope, albeit very little, unless the defense gets its act together.
Pick: Ronnie Brown +5.5

Durden: We know technology is amazing, but check out what it can do for Jason Taylor: "You can Google all the negative emotions and they're all there for me." Jason Taylor told the Miami Herald following the loss to Oakland. Don’t worry though Dol-fans, I’m here to tell you what Joey Porter wants to tell you. The Texans WILL NOT cover on Sunday – I guarantee it.
Pick: Dolphins +5.5

Seattle Seahawks at Pittsburgh Steelers -6
Mazzone: There’s nothing quite like hyping up a regular season game as revenge for a championship loss. It will be interesting to see if Tomlin can get his team to rebound, and care about this game as much as those revenge-seeking Seahawks.
Pick: Seahawks +6

Durden: You want to crown the Steelers? Go ahead and crown their asses, but Pittsburgh is exactly who we thought they are, and Arizona did NOT let them off the hook!" Everyone forgets this but, the Seahawks were robbed of the Super Bowl just two seasons ago! I may have doubts about this Seattle team playing up to its potential, but I have faith that the Football Gods will at least throw them some breaks this time around. Sorry Pittsburgh, they can’t all be cupcakes.
Pick: Seahawks +6

Cleveland Browns at New England Patriots -16
Mazzone: I’ve had a complete change of heart with regards to the Browns from the beginning of the season. Not just because they’re playing better, but because it’d be such a great story if Brady Quinn was never able to beat out an over achieving Derek Anderson and was mired on the bench again next season. Braylon Edwards claims they match up well against the Pats, and with the Cowboys on deck this game screams “TRAP GAME” for the Patriots…just kidding, they’re nearly invincible right now...but I’m going to inexplicably take the points anyway.
Pick: Browns +16

Durden: The juices will be flowing on Sunday, and I’m not just talking about Rodney Harrison being back. Romeo Crennel returns to New England for what should be an ass-whoopin, though I have a feeling Belicheat may take it easy on him. It’s not strong enough though, as the Patriots haven’t won by less than 20 points yet, and I’m not picking the Browns to break that streak.
Pick: Patriots -16

Arizona Cardinals at St Louis Rams +3.5
Mazzone: No Anquan Boldin hurts the Cards, but no team is more ravaged by injuries on offense than the Rams. As much as the Cardinals are beatable, and the Rams have to win one somewhere, I wouldn’t be able to sleep at night if I advocated betting on Gus Frerotte minus an offensive line and Steven Jackson.
Pick: Cardinals -3.5

Durden: I refuse to take this platoon at QB seriously. Warner and Leinart are essentially the same QB: pocket passers who couldn’t beat Christopher Reeves in a foot race. So pick the better one and get on with it! Anyways, they head to St. Louis to face a Rams team that isn’t even worth talking about. Hopefully Fox preempts all Brenda Warner shots with a fair warning.
Pick: Cardinals -3.5

New York Jets at New York Giants -3.5
Mazzone: Wasn’t the Giants season done after week two? Now you could make a strong case for 6-2 before their bye. Thomas Jones and the Jets haven’t had a run longer than 12 yards all season (and they already played the worst run D in the NFL). Also, Jets fans cheer dead babies (scroll about 3/4ths of the way down on the link).
Pick: Giants -3.5

Durden: Chad Pennington said, "It's tough not to get happy feet, it's tough not to try to get rid of the ball earlier because of what's happened in the previous plays. That's the hardest thing." It’s not going to get any easier against an aggressive Giant defense, and I also expect the Giants to not struggle much on offense.
Pick: Giants -3.5

Tampa Bay Buccaneers at Indianapolis Colts -10
Mazzone: [Insert Caddy in the garage/car’s a lemon joke here] I’m excited to see more reruns of Earnest goes to the End Zone, but I’m also still hoping someone exposes the Bucs as the frauds I believe them to be. Who better to do that than Peyton Manning?
Pick: Colts -10

Durden: While I still maintain that the Colts are a “different animal” at home, you can’t ignore the injuries they suffered last week. In addition to losing Rob Morris and Bob Sanders, they could also be without Marvin Harrison and Joseph Addai. I still expect the Colts to win, but I do think the Bucs can keep it close.
Pick: Bucs +10

San Diego Chargers at Denver Broncos -1
Mazzone: Ironic that the same week a $3,000 billboard is unveiled encouraging Ricky Williams to play for the Broncos, their starting RB is busted by the NFL for smoking weed. Selvin Young’s 15 minutes of fame begin now. He can thank the curse for potentially ending yet another career.

And even though I don’t feel that good about the Chargers, I just feel like the curse may have changed targets from Brees to Keith's Broncos players. Travis Henry is injured and soon to be suspended. Jay Cutler’s not only hobbling, but the curse may even break up his parents, talk about unprecedented.
Pick: Chargers +1

Durden: The Broncos may have just lost Travis Henry, but it’s actually the Chargers’ season that’s up in smoke. Denver hasn’t been able to stop the run, but that shouldn’t keep Rivers and San Diego’s offense from failing to take advantage. I’m really not much more confident in the Broncos right now, but I’m done waiting for the Chargers to show us something. Hey, at least Merriman found the right time to turn the Lights Out on their season. MAR-TY! MAR-TY!
Pick: Broncos -1

Baltimore Ravens at San Francisco 49ers +3.5
Mazzone: 49ers porous run defense (130 yards per game allowed) has to find a way to stop McGahee while the Ravens (71 ypg) should be able to handle Gore, but have to find a way to stop…Trent Dilfer? Even so, they’re both unimpressive teams so I’m going with the home team, the points, and the best player in this game (Gore).
Pick: Niners +3.5

Durden: The 49ers should be in trouble, as the Ravens can stop the run and SF doesn’t have the speed/talent outside to help Dilfer get rid of the ball quickly. The Ravens should be in trouble because their QB is Steve McNair, they lead the league in penalties, and their defense continues to give up big plays. Baltimore badly needs to rebound from the embarrassing loss to the Browns so I can try and forget about last week. San Fran could probably use a rebound too, but I really don’t care.
Pick: Ravens -3.5

Chicago Bears at Green Bay Packers -3.5
Mazzone: Kurt Warner clearly got Brett Favre in touch with the Devil this offseason. So, now they’ve worked out a deal and every one of us is forced to put up with it the rest of the season. Fantastic.
Pick: Packers -3.5

Durden: Sometimes I wish I was a WR on the Packers, so that when Favre tried to pick me up, I could kick him in the face. Brett didn’t care about the record so much (the one that’s the sole reason he’s playing), that he went to the stands to celebrate with his wife and family, during the game. With that said, there was a tie this week for disturbing Favre-ism.

1a) ESPN’s Len Pasquarelli: “As he hiked up his pants on Sunday evening -- one leg at a time, it should be noted, for those Green Bay fans who believe their future Hall of Fame quarterback is a Superman in shoulder pads -- Brett Favre tore off the button on the waistband, and the pair of khakis slid all the way down to his knees.”

1b) Packer WR, Greg Jennings: "He makes us go, as he goes, we go. He puts the buzz in every one of us."

Sorry, but if I have to read this crap, then I have to bring as many people as I can down with me.
Pick: Packers -3.5

Dallas Cowboys at Buffalo Bills -10.5
Mazzone: Who’s psyched to re-live that one sided rivalry from the early 90’s?!?! NFL Schedule-makers, you fail. Dallas 52 – Buffalo 17 sounds familiar.
Pick: Cowboys -10.5

Durden: Best offense in the league meets the worst defense! Whose idea was it to put Buffalo on MNF??? I don’t know either, but it’s probably the same person whose idea it was to give us Giants @ Falcons next week. Well, at least the Cowboys will put on a show for us, and there is no way TO is held quiet two weeks in a row - most certainly not on Monday Night Football.
Pick: Cowboys -10.5

Bet safely, and always believe in football.

Kurse Watch - Week 5 Fantasy Focus

2007-10-04T00:38:00.000-07:00

I was thinking about talking some baseball playoffs, but there's not a heck of a lot to be said - certainly nothing you won't read elsewhere a million times. The pitching was phenomenal, and the teams with the better pitching won. I was surprised to see Carlos Marmol play the goat for the Cubs though, he's got nasty stuff and I'd kill to have him in the Mets bullpen.

So that's that, onto the Kurse watch...

Mostly good things coming from the Gecko camp this week. It seems the Kurse may have taken week 4 off. With Drew Brees on a bye, team Gecko won their fantasy matchup and Keith went to Giants Stadium to see his team beat the Eagles. During which, he also witnessed his favorite play in football (Donovan McNabb getting sacked) a record number of times. And at the end of the day, Brian Leonard was still standing. That being said, week 4 was not without it's casualties and week 5 is certainly not lacking for story lines.

Start planning your retirement.
A bye week is not enough to move Drew Brees out of this spot. He should be grateful he's still in one piece, and pray the Kurse has moved on.

Quick, fake an injury!
Brian Leonard. Ok, so you survived the first week, but look at your offensive line. It's missing three starters, you're QB is out with broken ribs and his replacement is best known for slamming his head into a wall. Oh yea, and the RB ahead of you on the depth chart is out with a torn groin. You'd be pretty much screwed WITHOUT the curse, so it might be wise to limp off the practice field this week.

1-2, he's comin' for you...
We got two sitting here this week.

Travis Henry has rushed for 128 yards or more in three of his four games this season. And the one game he didn't, he found the end zone to make up for it. But, he's seen hobbling around the practice field these days with all sorts of ailments and you know Shanny won't wait to make Selvin Young, or some other guy he picks up off waivers this week, the next big thing.

Michael Pittman makes the list for the second time this year. Last time he was here after Caddy got banged up and I jokingly mentioned the Kurse has become so evolved it's going through people just to get to Keith's players. Well, Caddy is now done for the season, maybe for life, and Pittman will have a bigger role. Oh, and Keith is starting him this week. Michael, those footsteps you hear are not Dwight Freeney's...it's far worse.

Needless to say, I'm giddy about having Earnest Graham on my bench. It shouldn't take long for the Kurse to make him an even more viable option.

Safe...for now
Braylon Edwards - 375 yards and 4 TDs in four games? With Derek Anderson throwing the ball? Ravens, Steelers, Raiders defenses involved? I'm almost sold...

I'm a Survivor!
Randy Moss - Durden put it best sometime during Moss' weekly field day, this time on Monday Night. The Raiders should be forced to forfeit their #1 pick for trading Moss to the Patriots for a 4th rounder.

This week's NFL picks will be up Friday morning.

As for the MLB Postseason, I don't have much rooting interest (aside from rooting against the Phils and Yanks), but I wouldn't mind seeing something like this:

Rockies sweep Phillies
D'backs over Cubs in 5
Sox over Halos
Indians sweep Yanks (ARod 0 for the series)

Indians over Sox
Dbacks over Rockies

Dbacks over Indians (Byrnes and Valverde played a big role in my fantasy baseball championship this year, I owe them this much)

And if 'Zona could do it while scoring less runs than their opponents in the postseason as well, that would make it even better.

Sorry, blame it on me...

2007-10-02T23:23:00.000-07:00

Rockies fans might not want to get too excited just yet. I heard Michael Barrett is on his way to Philly to tag out Matt Holliday since he still hasn't touched home plate...

Taking a step back from being the Mets fan that I am, I feel like the Padres missing out on the playoffs was equally devastating. But, since they play in San Diego, their fans aren't as crazy, and the Mets are the Mets, we won't hear as much about the way the Padres went down.

The Mets collapse was certainly epic and one for the record books. It was more drawn out and excruciating over the final three weeks or so of the season, but let's compare it to the Padres.

Aside from losing out on the division to a team who let up more runs than they scored, they have to deal with how they blew their playoff chance.

First, it's the Rockies who come out of nowhere to tie them, going on a run that was even more improbable than the slide the Mets went on. As much as the Phillies played well and did their job in going 17-11 against mostly sub par teams, it was nothing compared to the Rockies winning 20 games in the month (13 of their last 14) and 10 of which came against the Phils, Pads, D'backs. Both teams played the opponents that overtook them in the standings the final month and shot blanks (Mets went 0-3 against the Phils, Pads went 1-5 against the Rockies).

Even so, the Pads had destiny in their own hands when one of the best closers ever needed just 1 out in Milwaukee to clinch the wild card. Of course, Trevor Hoffman blew the save. It happens, right? Not often with him, but here's the kicker.

It was TONY GWYNN JR. (originally from? that's right, Tony Gwynn's penis) that drove in the tying run with a two out triple. Not only did they fail to clinch that night, but it was at the hands of the son of their greatest player ever. That's rough.

Then, they lost another lead the following night and, after a Rockies win over division leader Arizona, they were forced to head to Colorado for the tie breaker.

No worries though, they go into Colorado and again found themselves three outs away from the playoffs with Hoffman on the mound.

To put this in perspective - Trevor Hoffman had converted 90% of his save opportunities in his career with 524 saves and 61 blown saves prior to his last two appearances. He had a WHIP around 1 and an ERA around 2.70. Over his 882 game career, he's averaged 1 base runner per inning pitched, and even less this year. Giving up, two, or three runs after blowing the save in Milwaukee seemed far-fetched to say the least.

Sure enough, the Rockies put together a rally and scored three off Hoffman... sort of.

As I mentioned earlier, Holliday still hasn't touched home plate and at the time it appeared the umpire knew it, and called him safe anyway. Just a bizarre end to the baseball season.

So, what's a worse way to miss out on the playoffs? Feel free to vote in the poll at the left, here are the closing arguments...

You could certainly argue the Mets for all the different ways they could have wrapped up a playoff spot, how big a lead they had, and how talented the team was. You could also argue it's more difficult since they'll hear about it every year for the rest of their lives, no matter how big a lead they have. Also, it was the division that was lost, not just the wild card. Moreover, their fan base will be much more devastated than that of the Padres as evident by the cries to fire Willie, trade Reyes, cut Delgado, and do everything you can to land Johan Santana (and this was before they missed the playoffs).

But, the Mets never came as close to actually wrapping up a playoff spot as the Padres did. Blowing three leads in the last three games of the season and their best reliever, one of the greatest ever, blowing two saves: one involving the son of the franchises biggest hero and one where the winning run didn't even touch home plate. If the Mets had gone out the way the Padres did, would the uproar not have been just as bad? Could you imagine if a New York team missed the post-season on a run that never actually happened?!

Either way, both are gut wrenching ways to go down. As a former Mets season ticket holder who recently relocated to San Diego in June, all I can say is...

Sorry, blame it on me

The beast has been fed...

2007-10-01T19:32:00.000-07:00

Unfortunately, the Dolphins still suck.

If you remember my initial post in this blog was all about Ronnie Brown and the bad rap he'd been getting from the fans and the media. Well, now he leads the entire NFL (and your local fantasy leagues) in total yards from scrimmage so I thought it'd be fun to revisit it again.

All along I've felt he was the right draft pick and liked what I saw from him with limited opportunity. He's been mired in coaching changes, philosophy changes, the Ricky Williams fiasco, an awful supporting cast, among other things, but he's finally getting a chance to showcase himself.

I know people will still scoff at the idea of Ronnie being a legitimate NFL running back, let alone the superstar I expect him to become. But just for fun, let's take a look at some numbers. You know what he's done the last two games, and since it's against sub-par defenses, people are already trying to dismiss it.

So, let's take a look at a larger sample. Brown has just 15 games in his short career where he's touched the ball 20 times or more. If you remember, that was my biggest knock on the Dolphins - not feeding Ronnie enough.

In those 15 games of 20+ touches, how many yards would you guess Ronnie Brown has totaled? 1100 (73/game)? 1500 (100/game)? 1750 (117/game)? Those last two seem pretty optimistic considering the state of the Dolphins over the past two seasons and the first four games of this season. Well, here are the numbers over those 15 games - not necessarily his best 15, just games where he had 20 or more touches:

358 touches, 1968 yards, 131.2/game, 5.5/touch.

That, of course, includes his 190 yard performance against the 7-0, Super Bowl bound, Bears defense last year when he and the Dolphins went into Chicago and gave them their first of three losses, 31-14.

One more time: 15 games, 1968 total yards. Comparisons?
Cadillac Williams has 16 games with 20+ touches. Here are his numbers:
407 touches, 1760 yards, 110/game, 4.3/touch

Ok, maybe you're looking for someone a little more prominent, not just related to Ronnie by draft class and position? How bout this guy...

LaDainian Tomlinson during his record setting season of a year ago:
16 games, 404 touches, 2323 yards, 145.2/game, 5.7/touch

Not that far off. Of course, Tomlinson's Chargers were 14-2 last year. Brown's Dolphins are 6-14 over his last 20 games. I can only imagine what Brown could do with the best fullback in the NFL (one of the best ever) and a half decent offensive line paving the way for him. Heck, I'd settle for a mildly threatening passing game to help out a bit, or a defense to keep the game close enough for him to keep getting the ball.

He's got the system, he's getting the touches, now please God surround him with some talent and we'll see something really special. I guarantee it.

Everything falls apart...

2007-09-30T22:07:00.000-07:00

"Let's get F'd up and die... I'm speaking figuratively of course," but what a brutal day.

It took all of 36 pitches from Tom Glavine to know the Mets were out of the playoffs. There's really nothing worth talking about with regards to the collapse, it is what it is, it's over, it's awful, and we're stuck with it forever. Hopefully it can be rendered a little less relevant with a World Series in the near future...

On top of that, barring an absolute miracle, the Dolphins season is over after just four weeks. This isn't terribly shocking, but it also wouldn't have been a big surprise if they had three wins right now. I wouldn't mind getting a good look at Beck sometime soon.

Maybe it was because of the circumstances of the day but it seemed like football as a whole was uninteresting today. Just another week further cementing the fact that there are maybe three really good teams and everyone else is a complete crapshoot from week to week.

Oh well, let's go around the league real quick before I get back to moping.
Let's start with the best and work our way down. Along the way I'm going to point out everything I got right and nothing that was wrong to make me feel a bit better about this depressing sports day:

The Colts fell behind 10-0 early, lost Marvin Harrison after 1 reception for 8 yards and it didn't phase them one bit. You pretty much have to play a perfect football game to beat the Colts right now. They make you pay for every single mistake and they don't make many of their own.

Cowboys struggled mightily early on against the Rams and still demolished them. The Rams are a complete mess right now and with all the injuries there is little hope. As for the Cowboys, sure they haven't really played anyone all that great, but they win convincingly. Also, they won't have to really play anyone to make it to the Super Bowl (the Packers?! give me a break). If they stay healthy, it's going to take Romo absolutely shitting the bed in a playoff game to keep them out of the Super Bowl. Called this blow out in the weekly picks.

Everyone's favorite gunslinger broke a record today, but not the one TPS was rooting for. Packers moved to 4-0, but the Vikings hung around for awhile and had their potential game tying drive halted by a missed pass interference call which resulted in an interception. Even so, Green Bay looks like a playoff team. Meanwhile, Adrian Peterson (my preseason rookie of the year pick) looks like a man-child. His ROY trophy has already been engraved.

Steelers stumbled today in Arizona as I had a hunch they might (see weekly picks). Pittsburgh fans probably aren't too concerned, nor should they be. They are fine, especially with the Ravens/Bengals/Browns failing to impress.

The Seahawks played much better today. Hasselbeck and Branch clearly have some chemistry. After Branch didn't catch a single pass in his first game, he's had 20 catches for 329 yards in his last three. Julian Peterson made a statement against his former team as the 49ers are proving me right so far and look to be a year away from being taken seriously.

An NFL record 34 point fourth quarter by the Lions moved them to 3-1 and puts the Bears season at risk. Urlacher claims it isn't over yet, but looking at the injuries and the QB play (Griese did his best Rex Grossman impersonation) it's looking pretty dismal for Da Bears. If they could replace their offensive possessions with 4 punts to Devin Hester they'd have a better chance.

Another big win for the Giants. It wasn't pretty on offense but the same defense that looked out of its league weeks one and two has been impenetrable the past two games. This game helped to prove the curse took the week off with Drew Brees on a bye. Keith (Giants fan) and his friend (Eagle's fan) were at the game and my brother's favorite play in football has long been "watching Donovan McNabb get sacked". Just when you're ready to stop believing, football pulls you back in, eh Keith? He also won his fantasy matchup against an 3-0 team. Truly bizarro world in sports today.

The Chargers are in trouble. Today's loss was absolutely embarrassing. They couldn't even put the Chiefs away at home after building a 10 point lead and getting LDT over hundred yards by half time.

I didn't catch much of the Browns/Ravens, but from what I've read it looks like the blame has to go on the red zone offense and the vaunted Ravens D. The Baltimore offense held the ball, moved the chains, and piled up yards but couldn't punch it in. Logic would tell me the red zone play calling wasn't adequate since the offense seemed to be executing otherwise. I'll check with Durden for more details on this one, but it might be time to be concerned if you're a Raven fan. Steve McNair threw 53 times, really?!

Joey Heisman learned what can happen when you don't turn the ball over in leading the Falcons to the upset win. Another upset called by yours truly.

David Carr can no longer "still be good". He was brutal despite his pretty white gloves, but I'm still not taking the Bucs seriously. The biggest story in this game is the devastating injury to Cadillac Williams. It could be career threatening.

It was annoying to see Culpepper score 5 TD's on the Dolphins, especially since he didn't do a damn thing. No, really, look at the numbers: 5 pass completions for 75 yards, 7 rushes for 28 yards. That's it. Unfortunately, the Dolphins D made LaMont Jordan and Justin Fargas look like Bo Jackson and Marcus Allen. At least Ronnie Brown hasn't made me a liar. They finally get him touches the last two weeks and he produces (418 yards, 4 tds in last 2 games).

I mentioned to Durden how I liked Trent Edwards, so it was good to see him come up with a nice game, especially against the dumb Jets. Nothing else to say about this one as the AFC East is a complete joke, aside from the Patriots - of course.

So, another week in the books, another fantasy football win to build on, and I won both fantasy baseball championships as well. Unfortunately, none of that really eases the pain...

Aaaaaaaand we're baaaaaaaaaaaack

2007-09-29T17:03:00.000-07:00

Wow... nearly speechless after a picture perfect day for the New York Mets.

Heading into this game, I was extremely nervous for the first time all season - and not just because of the circumstances and how poorly the Mets have played.

Last night, I was woken up at 4am when I heard a bit of a crash/boom from across the room. I woke up and glanced around, but everything seemed to be in order. Then, as I went to shrug it off and go back to sleep I caught it out of the corner of my eye... My Endy Chavez bobblehead doll had snapped at the cleat and fallen. There' was no explanation. Endy hadn't been touched since the day I took him out of the packaged months ago. It was symbolic of the last couple weeks, as there was no explanation for the Mets falling apart. I felt sick to my stomach knowing the Phils were in first and I'm up at 4am staring at a microcosm of the current state of the Mets just a few hours before a possible elimination game. Fortunately, it wasn't a bad omen after all.

I'm not sure how many times we'll hear "momentum is only as good as the next days starting pitcher" over the next 24 hours, but it probably won't be enough after what John Maine did today (especially compared to Adam Eaton).

The fans we're alive, the bats woke up, the benches cleared, and Maine had no hit stuff in the biggest game of the season to date. Simply amazing.

Tip of the cap to Matt Chico and the Nats who held up their end of the bargain with help from some Philly miscues. And to Tony Gwynn's son who, ironically, kept the Padres from clinching a playoff spot with a 2-out game tying triple off Trevor Hoffman in the bottom of the ninth.

So, the Mets are alive and well with one game to go.

As for momentum, here are tomorrows starting pitchers and their numbers in their last 3 starts...
Tom Glavine: 0-1, 17.2 innings, 22 hits, 12 earned runs, 4 BB's, 7 K's (Mets 0-3)
***Has faced Florida twice this season: 0-0, 11.1 innings, 18 hits, 6 ER, 2 BB's, 8 K's (Mets 0-2)

Jamie Moyer: 0-1, 18.1 innings, 17 hits, 9 earned runs, 10 BB's, 9 K's (Phils 1-2)
***Has faced Washington twice (both in April): 1-0, 10 hits, 5 ER, 7 BB's, 10 K's (Phils 2-0)

Brett Tomko: 2-0, 18 inngins, 15 hits, 7 earned runs, 3 BB's, 14 K's (Pads 3-0)
***Has faced Milwaukee once: 0-1, 5.1 innings, 8 hits, 5 earned runs, 1 BB, 5 K's

Also, Dontrelle Willis is 11-3 with a 2.49 ERA in 18 career starts against the Mets -- including 5-0 at Shea Stadium.

So, what's it all mean? Absolutely nothing.

If you haven't figured that out by now then you haven't been paying attention to this last month of baseball. Your guess is as good as mine, but it's going to be a hell of a ride. Needless to say, my Endy Chavez bobblehead sits where it fell, and there will be no attempts to fix it just yet.

LET'S GO METS!!!

Spread 'em: Week 4 of the In-N-Out Challenge

2007-09-28T13:33:00.000-07:00

With last week’s 7-6-3 record, Durden moved to two games over .500 for the season (22-20-6). As severely average as that is, it’s good enough for a commanding and embarrassing six cheeseburger lead over me. Fortunately, the season’s 17 weeks long, and I’m reminded of a quote from a very wise man. “It’s not a race, it’s a marathon!” EXACTLY.

Between the Mets, Dolphins, and my pick’em record, I was barely able to muster up the energy to get through these picks. Hopefully Durden will pick up the slack with regards to the entertainment value…

So, the bye weeks are upon us, and none too soon for the kursed Saints. I’m anxious to see what happens. Does the kurse take the week off? Does it find a new target (temporary or permanent)? Do the Saints somehow come out of their bye week 0-4? Only time will tell…

As for the teams that are playing, here’s your ticket to free money...

Oakland Raiders @ Miami Dolphins -4
Mazzone: The Miami defense thought this week was a good time to hold a meeting to try and solve the crappiness. Travis Daniels claims they have, “Everybody got together today and had our talk and we know what we've got to do…We're going to be clicking on all cylinders.” Nice of them to take the time to sort that out, I feel much better now. Joey Porter’s guaranteeing victory, “Write it how you want to write it. We will win on Sunday.” While Cam Cam said we might get a look at Cleo Lemon this week…on special teams. “…I say everybody is available. Now, is Cleo Lemon going to run down on a kickoff? He might, but we're going to do whatever we think we need to do to win a football game.” Who the hell knows.
Pick: Dolphins -4 (planning a game preview for Saturday)

Durden: I'm really not big on players making stupid guarantees, but I'll let Mazzone touch more on that in his Dolphins' preview. The real storyline for me is Daunte returning to Miami, and while I think he could be capable of pulling out a win on Sunday, it would really add salt to the already painful wound that was last week's loss for Dol-fans. I won't be rooting for that, and I really don't feel strongly enough about either team here, so I'm just going to stick with the (TPS) home team.
Pick: Dolphins -4

Houston Texans @ Atlanta Falcons +3
Mazzone: I have a bad feeling about this one. Aside from DeAngelo Hall, the Falcons almost looked like a professional football team last week. Due to injuries, the Texans best offensive weapon is now a 4^th string WR with a dislocated finger, never a good sign. I know most are expecting a big day, but I’m worried Schaub could be in for a dogfight (too soon?) and may try to do too much in his return to the ATL. I still think the Texans are in it for the long haul, but they could trip here and need to get healthy on offense. In related news, Vick is doing everything he can to get back to football ASAP.
Pick: Falcons +3

Durden: I really do think the Falcons are due for a surprise win or 2 before their bye week. That's not exactly going out on a limb though, since any win for them would be a surprise at this point. I'd also like to think the Football Gods cut Falcon fans some slack here and let them at least beat Matt Schaub, but I just can't pick Yoey Harrington. Plus, I gotta give Houston some credit for hanging tough against the Colts last week.
Pick: Texans -3

Baltimore Ravens @ Cleveland Browns +5
Mazzone: I ALWAYS get this game wrong. Over the last three years, I’d guess I was 0-6 against the number when these two teams play. In my defense, those games were quarterbacked by the likes of Kyle Boller, Anthony Wright, Steve McNair, Derek Anderson, Jeff Garcia, Charlie Frye – if you can figure those f#@*^&s out then you are a better man than I. Conventional wisdom tells me to just take the points and the home team, but since I’m always wrong on this game…
Pick: Ravens -5

Durden: I hate the Browns more than any other team, with only the Steelers even coming close. Instead of really getting into that though, I'll just leave you with a couple of recent quotes that will let you know where my head's at, regarding my pick.

- "That's what it smells like," Bart Scott said. "It's on a landfill that's toxic, and I think it gets to some of the fans' heads a little bit. They struck up the lake and put it on a landfill, and all of the algae and stuff is coming up through the end zone. "We're going to take some soil samples. Before I go out there and play on the field, I usually put some hydrocortisone on to make sure that I'll be straight when I hit the ground. They have a lot of staph infections out there.

- "Offensively, we couldn't get untracked," coach Romeo Crennel said. "Defensively, we couldn't stop them. They threw it, they ran it. We couldn't stop the run no matter what front we happened to be in. We were out of position a lot."
Pick: Ravens -5

Chicago Bears @ Detroit Lions +3
Mazzone: The focus will be on the QB change, where the Sex Cannon was moved to the bench in favor of Brian Griese, but the bigger problem going forward for the Bears will be the lack of healthy bodies on defense. Mike Brown’s on injured reserve along with Dusty Dvoracek, starting corners Nathan Vasher and Charles Tillman are both out this week (what do they plan to do against Martz’s 5 WR sets?), Urlacher, Briggs, and Alex Brown are all nursing injuries. In the past, it wouldn’t be a big deal to give some ailing players the week off with the Lions coming to town, but these aren’t your father’s Lions! I try to like Roy Williams but every time he opens his mouth he makes it damn near impossible.
Pick: Lions +3

Durden: Unlike Roy Wiliams, the Lions' defense is far from stingy. Hell, Bob Griese could probably suit up and do some serious damage on Sunday. However, the Bears' secondary (and defense, overall) is decimated with injuries, and that is especially bad news going on the road against the Lions' potent aerial attack.
Pick: Lions +3

Green Bay Packers @ Minnesota Vikings +2
Mazzone: I’m gonna let Darren Sharper’s comments in the Milwaukee Journal Sentinel handle this one for me:
“Former Packers safety Darren Sharper said the Vikings are well aware that quarterback Brett Favre has a good chance of breaking an NFL record inside the Metrodome.
"Yeah, he does," Sharper said. "He's three away."

Sharper, of course, was referring to the all-time NFL interception record Favre is closing in on, not the all-time touchdown mark. Sharper picked off Favre last year for the first time in a 9-7 loss at Lambeau Field and would like nothing more than to add to Favre's career total of 275.

"The interception record? That's the only record I'm thinking about," Sharper said.”

I couldn’t agree more, in fact, I’m hoping that third INT gets returned to the house so I can make jokes about Fav-ruh breaking the INT and TD records on the same play.
Pick: Vikings +2

Durden: Similar to the Lions in Week 1, the Packers won't be able to run on Minnesota, but they probably aren't planning on doing much running either. You can think the Vikings stand a chance this Sunday, or you can think like Packer LB Nick Barnett: "I thought we could be 3-0. I think we could be 16-0." By the way, here's the latest of Favre-ism (courtesy of Sean Salisbury): "He's got the guts of a burglar." Gotta go with the Pack again, but please, wake me when this dream start of theirs is over. Pick: Packers -2

TPS LOVES (read: loathes) people gushing over Favre.

St. Louis Rams @ Dallas Cowboys -13
Mazzone: Most of the offensive line is incapacitated, or at the very least, banged up. Marc Bulger is playing with broken ribs, Tory Holt with a bum knee, Steven Jackson is out with a torn groin and Brian Leonard is on Keith’s fantasy team. The Cowboys have already proven they can put up points, while the Rams are 29^th in points scored and don’t play much defense either. Outside of just having a hunch, or thinking Jacque Reeves is lining up at all 11 defensive positions, there’s no real reason to think this one won’t get ugly in a hurry.
Pick: Cowboys -13

Durden: I have an angry plea for Nike, on behalf of many fantasy owners: STOP SHOWING THE STEVEN JACKSON COMMERCIAL. The next time he hurdles over anybody this season, will probably be the first. In related news, the 2007 St. Louis Rams are dead to me and they shouldn't stand a chance at Dallas, especially with an injury list that seems to be growing exponentially.
Pick: Cowboys -13

New York Jets @ Buffalo Bills +3.5
Mazzone: The Bills are a complete mess, but this video is encouraging as it shows Kevin Everett’s fighting spirit has lead to astounding progress in his recovery…
Pick: Jets -3.5

Durden: The Bills are another team that has just been crushed by injuries. The difference between them and the Rams, is that the Bills never had a chance to be good in the first place. Maybe it's a sucker bet, but I don't see how the Bills should be getting anything less than 7 against non-comatose teams.
Pick: Jets -3.5

Tampa Bay Buccaneers @ Carolina Panthers -3
Mazzone: Say what you want about Tampa (and I have), but Chucky has this team playing some football despite a lack of talent. Combine that with the fact that there’s a good chance the guy on the right could be at QB for Carolina and it’s tough to like the Panthers. But, I’m really stubborn and refusing to buy into the Bucs, so…
Pick: Panthers -3

Durden: Ironically, a man known to some as Delhomo, may have drawn the ire of Village People fans everywhere. Jake, on coming out (of last week's game, not the closet): "It was just kind of bothering me a little bit," Delhomme said. "I didn't want to be macho." Unfortunately for Carolina, his backup has been seen exploring his femininity as well. I'll go with the team whose QB at least pretends he's a manly man's man.
Pick: Bucs +3

Seattle Seahawks @ San Francisco 49ers +1.5
Mazzone: I have nothing to say about this one as both teams are uninteresting and playing poorly, but are somehow 2-1. However, I do have an amusing article on dirty and racist race horse names.
Pick: Seahawks -1.5

Durden: Apparently, it's true that teams in the Northwest are completely ignored, because Seattle is a team that Keith has quietly been sabotaging since they reached the Super Bowl. Can anyone else explain how a team who has only bolstered an already talented roster (in a weak division/conference), has managed to actually get worse since they were robbed of the Super Bowl trophy?? Alexander and Branch have been two of Keith's best players, but instead of laying low, he snatched up their Defense this week. Still, I think the Kurse gives him a break this week, yet the Seahawks will keep this one far more interesting than it should be against an inferior 49er team.
Pick: Seahawks -1.5

Pittsburgh Steelers @ Arizona Cardinals +6
Mazzone: TPS has been saying all along that the Steelers won’t get tested ‘til about midseason. While that should be the case, if there was ever a let-down game in the works it’d be right here. This game means a lot more to Whisenhunt and Grimm than it does to Tomlin. The Cardinals haven’t been terrible (11^th in total offense/14^th in total defense), they just can’t put a full game together. Maybe a little extra motivation and preparation, along with home field advantage, will be what they need to make this one interesting.
Pick: Cardinals +6

Durden: When I cited Brenda Warner's love for God in Week 1 while discussing Jon Kitna's potential this season, due to his similarly fanatical faith, it may have actually woken up the Warners. Maybe nobody deserves to even be in the same sentence as the Warners when it comes to loving God. I mean, since then, Kitna's suffered a concussion that required a miracle to heal and the Cardinals have created a platoon situation at QB. Dear Tiny Jesus, in your golden fleece diapers with your tiny, little fat balled up fists, please make the damn Steelers lose for once. Ah, who am I kidding? God punishes Arizona for not giving K-Dub the start.
Pick: Steelers -6

Kansas City Chiefs @ San Diego Chargers -12.5
Mazzone: I went to war with the Chiefs in my survivor/suicide pool last week. To show my appreciation for their comeback win, I’m giving them 12.5 points this week. Which is generous, because without it, they’d probably end up with 3.
Pick: Chargers -12.5

Durden: This game is as good as any for the Chargers offense to break out. I really think the line is too high here, but if San Diego does indeed go off, it won't matter against with the Chiefs' miserable offense.
Pick: Chargers -12.5

Denver Broncos @ Indianapolis Colts -9.5
Mazzone: Hopefully Javon Walker, John Lynch, and Jay Cutler are able to play at close to full strength, otherwise it could be a long day. But, I do think the Broncos are better than they’ve shown and they have the DB’s to be able to keep Peyton in check… as much as you can keep Peyton in check, anyway. If you’re not sold on the Broncos, here’s an article about Peyton Manning and his boyfriend.
Pick: Broncos +9.5

Durden: While the Broncos are as equipped to handle the Colts' pass game as well as anyone, and should be able to run well on Indy, I'm simply tired of Denver letting me down. In spite of their 2-1 record, I still think they're far better than they've shown, but they're going to have to prove it first. The Colts have been in some close games themselves, but they're a different animal at home.
Pick: Colts -9.5

**Note: We never see each other’s picks/write-ups until they are posted. The similarities in this one are uncanny, and yet we picked different teams, go figure.

Philadelphia Eagles @ New York Giants +2.5
Mazzone: McNabb is coming off his perfect game, and the Giants off a stellar comeback. Has the Philly offense turned the corner? What about the Giants defense? It’s a critical game for both teams. A Giants win would turn the season around in a hurry as they’d be 2-2 with a schedule that shows five very winnable games (Jets, @ Falcons, 49ers, Dolphins in London) heading into their week 9 bye. What I don’t know is how effective B-rabbit will be with ailing ribs, if he plays at all. I also don’t know if McNabb will be able to find Curtis without the Non-hetero uniforms being on display. What I do know is Drew Brees is on a bye this week, and my cursed brother is a Giants fan that will be going to the game, you do the math.
Eagles 19- Giants 17 on the leg of David Akers 4 FGs including the game winner as time expires.
Pick: Giants +2.5

Durden: People said McNabb wasn't likely to be criticized after last week's performance, but I don't get it. Isn't he still black? Anyways, I'm actually going to be at this game and am very excited about it. Was Eli ever that injured to begin with? Regardless, he, Plax and Ward have really been the only Giants who have impressed me thus far, but if Manning has been throwing with a separated shoulder, he deserves more credit than he's gotten. For my own sake, I hope it's a close one but I would be surprised if the Eagles didn't win. This isn't to take away from New York's victory last week, but as much as the G-Men fought back, the Redskins were really pathetic in rolling over.
Pick: Eagles -2.5

New England Patriots @ Cincinnati Bengals +7.5
Mazzone: Good coaches win. Great coaches cover.
Pick: Patriots -7.5

Durden: After last week's game, Carson Palmer said he was "very disappointed not to get the ball back because we were going to take the ball down the field." Chad Johnson cockily added: "We could beat them on anything we wanted to beat them on." This was apparently on anything except in the game itself. Of course, I don't know why they bother explaining it because we probably just don't understand. It's probably only because I'm not capable of "understanding" the Bengals, but I see more of the same from the Patriots on MNF.
Pick: Patriots -7.5

Enjoy the games, bet safely (against me), and always believe in football.

The Strength to Be There?

2007-09-27T21:22:00.000-07:00

Durden had a busy couple of days so the NFL picks won't be posted until Friday afternoon.

In the meantime, here's my running diary of the Mets game last night:
-(first pitch)Alright, Let's go baby!
-(rest of the night) UuuuuuuuuuuuuuughcoooomeonareyouseriousIfeelsickajsdlfka
sighwhatthefthiscantbehappeninguuuuuuuuuuuuugh

Well...at least the bullpen showed up?

“There’s two choices: Roll over and start making vacation plans for the offseason, or battle like hell and win this thing,” Mets third baseman David Wright said. “We still feel like this is our division.”

At least we have pitchers who've been here before and come through.

It doesn't have to be pretty. Just...get...in.

Friday
Byung-Hyun Kim (FLA) vs. Oliver Perez (NYM)
Tim Redding (WAS) vs. Cole Hamels (PHI)

Saturday
Chris Seddon (FLA) vs. John Maine (NYM)
Matt Chico (WAS) vs. Adam Eaton (PHI)

Sunday
Dontrelle Willis (FLA) vs. Tom Glavine (NYM)
Jason Bergmann (WAS) vs. Jamie Moyer (PHI)

Is it all burning to the ground?

2007-09-27T01:21:00.000-07:00

I guess we're gonna find out. It's time to see how far we've come...

BEEP BEEP BEEP....That’s the sound of the Mets trying to back into the postseason.

There’s not a whole lot to you can say about the recent 5-10 record and the feeling of despair hovering over this team.

By now, everyone is aware of the trials and tribulations of the Mets pitching, especially the bullpen. It feels like it’ll take a complete game shutout just to get a win. Except they don’t have a starter that can get past the 5^th.

Last night’s debacle, combined with a Phillies win, closed the gap to one game.

So, the season comes down to four games in four days.

Proving that it takes more than one or two solid seasons to change the mindset of a historically demoralized fan base, a good number of Mets fans are spending their time trying to figure out which relievers to sign in the offseason, what it will take to land Johan Santana, and who’s going to replace Willie Randolph.

Personally, it's never been my style to give up like that, and I’m praying the Mets come through to let me atone for MY mistake last season.

As partial season ticket holders last year, my friends and I were entitled to one NLDS game, two NLCS games (1 and 7), and one World Series game (game 4) at Shea. Prior to the playoffs, I was forced to make a decision regarding a business trip: schedule it during the NLCS and hope there’s no game 7, or schedule it during the World Series and try to talk my way out of it (would have been extremely difficult at the time) if the Mets made it. I took it for granted that the Mets would steamroll their way through the National League, so I banked on there not being a game 7 in the NLCS.

Ever since that roller coaster night; watching the game alone in my hotel room, calling my friends for every big moment just to hear the crowd, and then not speaking to them for a week after Cardinal killer, Carlos Beltran, struck out looking with the bases loaded to end the season, I’ve been counting down the days until this postseason so both the Mets and I could redeem ourselves. They should have won, and I should have been there.

Since that day, my desktop background has been what should've been the image of the postseason, the defining moment in the championship run for the Mets…

I sleep with Shea stadium hanging over my head.

I wake up with the ’86 Mets on the nightstand to my left…

and right…

And all day long while I work I’m reminded of what could have been…

So, on the cusp of the biggest night of the season to date, I watched the Mets 1986 DVDs, and then the 2006 DVD.

Remembering being in the stadium last year for the grand slams, the come backs, the stifling bullpen, the walk-offs, the double play at home plate, everything...

I remembered how I thought last year’s team was invincible, and so did they...

“Nothing is impossible… If we believe, we can do everything.”
- Carlos Beltran

“It really doesn’t matter what the score is. If we’re behind, we’re gonna win the game.”
– Tom Glavine

I remembered that, even without that aura, this year’s team is STILL the most talented and best overall team in the National League.

I remembered how the Cardinals finished last season 3-8 and the Tigers 0-4 (against Toronto and KC) before meeting in the World Series a few weeks later.

I remembered the Phillies are still the Phillies.

Then, I looked at the pitching matchups for tonight.
Pedro Martinez (NYM) vs. Joel Pineiro (STL)
John Smoltz (ATL) vs. Kyle Kendrick (PHI)

And I believed, because... Ya Gotta Believe.

LET’S GO METS!

Has the Kurse gone too far?

2007-09-25T15:04:00.000-07:00

If you aren’t up to speed on the Kurse of Keith (KoK), it’s highly recommended that you skim the following four posts before proceeding to read about how badly Keith got KoK blocked this week.

Intro to the Kurse
Kurse Watch 1
Alexander's Mysterious Injury
Kurse Watch 2

----------------------------------------------------------------------------
“I don’t even know what to say. I mean, this is ridiculous.”
- Keith

That was my brother’s Yahoo! Smack talk on this somber Tuesday morning, and that pretty much sums up the feeling of everyone who’s been around the Kurse of Keith.

By now, you know the history of the Kurse and the names it’s taken out in the past (Shaun Alexander, Steve Smith, Deuce McAllister, Priest Holmes, just to name a few), and you know what it’s done to Drew Brees and the Saints this year.

If you recall, on opening day Keith was ready to shred all history of the Kurse. He was optimistic and proclaimed “Drew Brees is going to score so many fantasy points that he’s going to break stat tracker!” We all know how that turned out.

So, put yourself in Keith’s shoes for a minute. Here we are in week 3. You’re 0-2 (thanks in large part to Brees), and the Kurse has clearly established itself. The last time you had positive words for Brees in your smack talk was a complete disaster. You’re leading your fantasy matchup 98.48 to 95.59 and you still have Brees to play. Your opponent has Chris Brown. Even if Brown finds his way to the end zone (he didn’t), you would still likely have the upper hand as long as Brees didn’t totally implode (he did).

Even so, the obvious approach is to lay low, expect the worst, and just hope you are fortunate for once and eke out a win somehow, right? Well Keith, ever the King of Wishful Thinking, offered up the following smack talk throughout the day on Monday.

That line from Keith prompted this Gmail chat exchange before kickoff where I, too, tried to talk myself into Keith winning, before coming to the realization that he didn’t have a prayer.

5:09 PM Durden: I think Keith doesn’t understand the kurse
5:11 PM Mazzone: why not?
5:12 PM Durden: haha, he’s talking about a win being in sight
Mazzone: yea, but he wins a few games a year and even made the playoffs once, in spite of the kurse…
(thinking…thinking…)
5:13 PM Mazzone: but damn, you have to figure Brees for negative points tonight, no?
Durden: well, that's what I’m saying...if I’m Keith, I do not think a win is "in sight" until I actually see it

So, while the train wreck that ensued was not exactly a surprise, it was still painful to watch. So much so, that I turned away at half time and left NFL.com game cast and Durden to update me on the happenings. It was especially brutal for me, even though I wasn’t involved in the fantasy matchup, because I had seen this before.

Last year, I had a sizeable lead in a matchup going into MNF and I started Rex Grossman over Matt Leinart in the “They are who we thought they were!” game. The Sex Cannon lost me the matchup with this line: 14 for 37, 144 yards, 4 INTs, 2 sacks, 2 fumbles. I told Durden after just two Saints offensive possessions that it felt like that night all over again. Brees’ line wasn’t as bad as Sexy Rexy’s, but it will still make you cringe: 29 for 45, 225 yards, 4 INTs, 1 sack, 1 fumble.

To make matters worse, my brother's fantasy matchup was going back and forth all night. With 5 minutes left in the game Keith took the lead on six consecutive Drew Brees completions. Only to see the 7^th pass attempt of the drive result in an interception, putting him behind again with just three minutes left. Believe it or not, the good news was that the pick went to the house so, instead of the Titans killing the clock, Brees would get the ball back with one last chance to salvage a win for team Gecko.

This time, Brees rattled off five consecutive completions and Keith had regained the lead with a mere 1:25 to play! When Lance Moore dropped the next pass it seemed like a minor setback to the average person, but those of us who know Keith and the Kurse, knew better. That drop signaled the beginning of the end. And on the next play, Brees’ pass found the Titans KEITH Bullock for the 3^rd time in the game. Bringing new meaning to the Kurse of Keith and providing a fitting end to the night, as that 16^th incompletion and 4^th interception dropped team Gecko to 0-3.

It truly is amazing, and if you aren’t a believer by now then you’re just being stubborn. So, without further ado it’s this week’s Kurse Watch, with an interesting developing story line NOT involving Drew Brees…

As always, adjust your rosters accordingly…

Start planning your retirement.
Drew Brees’ family, friends, pets, teammates, high school classmates… At this point, no one is safe. Just ask Deuce McAllister who tore his ACL trying to haul in a Brees pass. It’s the second time McAllister has fallen victim to the Kurse.

Quick, fake an injury!
It might be too late for Lee Evans (occupied this spot last week), who has 5 catches for 29 yards on the season, but it’s not too late for Jay Cutler. Jay - Drew Brees is on a bye this week, and you’re Keith’s backup QB. Do yourself a favor and tweak a hamstring in practice. Or maybe, sprain an ankle?

1-2, he's comin' for you...
A little background on this one: Everyone in our fantasy league is from New Jersey, Keith completed grad school at Rutgers and owns a #23 Scarlet Knights Jersey. Long a fan of Brian Leonard, Keith drafted him this year - only to have to cut him after the first couple weeks. Naturally, SJax goes down after Keith cuts Leonard.

Fortunately for Keith, not so much for Brian, team Gecko added Leonard to the mix off waivers this morning. This IMMEDIATELY sparked a “FREE BRIAN LEONARD” campaign in our league chat. No one is excited about the impending doom hovering over the Great White Hope from New Jersey. Here’s a copy of what’s transpired so far:
________________
Poor Brian Leonard
Posted by: Dave (White WRs/Black QBs) Sep 25 1:29pm
On a day that should be so exciting for Brian Leonard, he suffers the misfortune of being picked up by Keith. Any chance of Brian stepping in for Steven Jackson and performing well has now gone out the window. Keith, I know that you love some Brian Leonard, but sometimes when you love something, you have to let it go. Let Brian go. It's his only chance of becoming a player in the National Football League. If you keep him on your roster, he will surely be cut prior to next season after disappointing with a 1.2 ypc average and at least 7 fumbles lost. Things can only be worse for him if you decide to play him, as a career ending injury is sure to follow. So Keith, I ask you, as a fellow fan of Brian Leonard, the Great White Hope for Running Backs, LET HIM GO, Please, let him go.

Re: Poor Brian Leonard
Posted by: Rory (BoobieTassles) Sep 25 1:40pm
I second Dave's heartfelt plea.

Wow
Posted by: durden (Makin It Reign) Sep 25 2:14pm
I've never encountered something like this as commish before...is this a FREE Brian Leonard campaign?!

Do t-shirts need to get made?

Re: Poor Brian Leonard
Posted by: Mazzone(Tropical Storm Chris) Sep 25 2:14pm
I didn't want to be the first to say it but Durden and I talked about this after hearing of SJax's injury. The initial hope was that since Keith cut Leonard he would be penalized by the Kurse in that Brees would do just enough to win last night so Keith couldn't get Leonard in waivers...

Since that didn't happen I've already begun mourning the upcoming Brian Leonard injury. Terrible news.
________________

So there you have it, Brian. We’re all rooting for you, but be careful, be very very careful.

***Update*** There are rumors coming from an anonymous source close to the situation that Keith is attempting to trade Brian Leonard before the weekend in hopes of saving his career. I’ll keep you posted.

Safe...for now
Shaun Alexander: You know it’s bad when the person appearing under “Safe for now” is a running back playing with a broken wrist. 300 yards and 2 TDs isn’t Shaun Alexander-like, but it’s not terrible with a broken wrist and we’re not going to give up on him just yet as he seems determined to beat the Kurse.

I'm a Survivor!
Randy Moss: On his way to 17 consecutive weeks here.

I have nothing left to say. I can’t even really blame Keith if he doesn’t believe in football anymore…

He said what?!

2007-09-24T20:55:00.000-07:00

If there were any non-believers in the Kurse going into tonight, there are no more or certainly won’t be after tomorrow. I will cover the details in the Wednesday weekly Kurse watch, but it’s not going to be pretty. Along the same lines of watching Rex Grossman, it’s hard for me to find humor in it anymore. It makes me a little sick to my stomach just thinking about the latest chapter in the Kurse of Keith…

On a brighter note (at least for me), those of you that enjoyed my fantasy football disaster last week that brought a name change from Hurricane Chris to Tropical Storm Chris (zero touchdowns in my starting lineup and only two TD’s on my total roster of 15 offensive players) will be disappointed to hear that this week offered up a much different scenario, as expected.

I couldn’t even find room in my lineup for all my studs, as the same 15 offensive players accounted for 19 TDs, a two point conversion, and a boat load of yards en route to being the highest scoring lineup in the league for week 3. Back in biz!

If Archie Manning had a sense of humor he would have tried to kiss Suzy Kolber like I had hoped. But, since he didn't, I don’t have anything else to share about the game until tomorrow's Kurse watch. So, here are some fun quotes from around the sports world this week, but first we'll kick it off with a non-sports related personal favorite...

"I was in a casino. I was standing by the door, and a security guard came over and said

'You're gonna have to move. You're blocking the fire exit.'

As though if there was a fire, I wasn't gonna run. If you are flammable and have legs, then you are never blocking a fire exit...

You can write that down and put a dash in front of it, and put my name at the bottom."
-the late Mitch Hedberg

“I’m just going to strike out a lot,” he said. “I always lead every league I’m in in strikeouts, so I figure if it’s the major leagues, at least that’s the best league. It’s better than leading the Pacific Coast League.”
- Jack Cust
After playing in just 118 games and striking out 154 times, most in the American League

"I didn't get to the quarterback. I suck right now. So there. There's your headline.''
-Jason Taylor
After, well, sucking for the third straight game..

"This decision lacks integrity, and it lacks ethics.''
- Daryl Johnston after Dallas signed troubled defensive tackle Tank Johnson.
Oh really?! Should we remind DJ of some of the guys he has to thank for his Super Bowl titles?

"Brett Favre will be 38 in October... October 10th should be a national holiday, by the way."
-Chris Berman
Not realizing how sick everyone is with regards to the polyandrous relationship he, John Madden, and the rest of the media have with Brett Favre.

"Here's the concern -- in our society now, so many things come up on Web sites and Internet," Edwards said. "First of all, I don't even have the Internet. I wouldn't even know how to use it."
-Chiefs Head Coach Herman Edwards
Suddenly everything makes sense. I imagine something like this… “So many people are focused on managing the clock these days. I don’t even know how to tell time.”

"The best way I can describe it is it felt like somebody bungee jumped off my right nut."
-Ken Griffey Junior describing his recent abdominal injury
Ouch.

"The thing that makes me laugh is what so many players and coaches have said about us having their plays. Like the Eagles saying we knew everything that was coming in the Super Bowl because we ran so many screens. Give me a break. Of course we ran all those screens! They blitz on every down!''
-Tom Brady
I hate the guy, but that’s a valid argument.

And finally, this exchange happened in OVERTIME of a huge game, and we have the mind boggling video to prove it.
Mike Patrick: I’ve got an important question.
Todd Blackledge: "Go ahead."
Patrick: "What is Britney doing with her life?"
Blackledge: "Who?"
Patrick: "Britney!"
Blackledge: "Britney who?"
Patrick: "Spears…What's she doing with her career?"
(laughter)
Blackledge: "Why do we care at this point? …Is she here?"
Patrick: “I don’t think so.”
Blackledge: “Is she a football fan?”
Patrick: “Oh, I’m sure she is.”…Georgia from the 25…Stafford want’s it aaaallll, TOUCHDOWN!