Well, after my undefeated first week, Durden and I were together on all the games last week which resulted in a whopping 1 win (thanks Giants).
Fortunately for you guys, I'm guaranteeing we will not get 3 games wrong again this week.
Sure, the NFL and all the broadcasters have a hard on at the mere thought of Tom Brady up against Brett Favre in the Super Bowl, with a perfect season on the line. But I’m rooting for the “these two quarterbacks were traded for each other just four years ago and now they’re playing against each other in the Super Bowl” storylines.
In case there was any doubt about what the underdogs are up against this week, let’s take a look at what Vegas has to say about the games… A $100 dollar parlay on the Chargers/Giants to both win outright would win you close to $3,000. Mmhmm, sooo there's that...
San Diego Chargers @ New England Patriots -14
Durden: Philip Rivers on the perception that he has a big mouth: "I'm aware of it. I really don't get too caught up in it. It's kind of surprising, really, to be honest with you. But, again, I'm out there having a good time as I did in the backyard since I was 5 years old. Why is it that when Brett Favre acts like a child, he’s made into a national hero?” OK, I made up that last statement but it’s true!
Interestingly enough, Rivers has become the closest thing these playoffs have had to a villain, and yet could also be close to our last hope at ending New England’s run.
Unfortunately, I just don’t think they were winning this game even with LDT and Gates being healthy, which they’re not. In my opinion, their only hope is to put Cromartie on Moss without help all game long, and go after Brady. Of course, Ted Cottrell has been reluctant to blitz with Merriman and Phillips but it probably won’t matter if they don’t opt for this type of game plan.
Pick: Patriots -14
Mazzone: First Tony Romo's trip to Mexico ruins Dallas' season and now Randy Moss beating on some women will destroy the Patriots' season. That's my story and I'm sticking to it, sort of...
Way back in the first half of the season Bill Simmons mentioned how the Dolphins trading Chris Chambers to the Chargers was part of an elaborate plan to keep the Patriots from an undefeated season. We all thought he was just being his usual jackass self in not recognizing that, at the time of the trade, the Patriots had already destroyed the Chargers and still had the Dolphins left on their schedule – thus actually aiding the Patriots efforts at an undefeated regular season.
But now, now the Dolphins glorious plan is falling into place. Gates is hobbling, Tomlinson is limping, Rivers is banged up, but Chambers… Chambers is full speed and ready to dominate the AFC Championship game just as the Dolphins had hoped when they traded him.
On a more serious note, it could probably go without saying that the Chargers have little chance of escaping New England with a win. But we said the same last week and Igor Olshansky will tell you otherwise, they certainly have enough motivation (history between the teams, the Patriots being unbeaten, oh yea and a trip to the Super Bowl…kind of a big deal too) and they have the talent on both sides of the ball to get it done as well. It’s not like they don’t stack up well with the Ravens, Eagles, Colts, and Giants who have given the Pats some trouble.
I don’t truly believe the Chargers will win this game (mostly because Rivers usually sucks when he's healthy let alone with a bum knee), but being a fan of Chris Chambers, loathing the Patriots and their shot at a perfect season, and now living in San Diego, it’s pretty easy to root almost as if it we’re the Miami Football Dolphins in the championship game. So, here’s to Merriman passing around the steroids this week and to me regaining my belief in football.
Pick: SUPER Chargers +14
New York Giants @ Green Bay Packers -7.5
Oh my gawd, did you see Brett
gunsling a snowball at Donald last week?!?! It was like two little…wait for it…LITTLE KIDS!!!!!
OK, this one’s gonna be a good one, because like I said last week, none of these NFC teams should be favored by more than a touchdown over each other. While I do think the Packers will win, it may be a lot to ask for Green Bay to keep carrying Brett Favre, especially if the real Favre shows up and starts throwing balls up for grabs.
Regardless though, the Giants actually have a great shot to win and this is the game you’re going to want to get your popcorn ready for. Just don’t eat TO’s because that’s not fair, man. If you guys do that, it’s really unfair. It’s really unfair, man. That’s his popcorn…man. And don’t worry Cowboy fans, rumor has it that Jessica Simpson will not be at the game, so you’ll have to blame someone else if Dallas doesn’t win this one.
Pick: Giants +7.5
Mazzone: Last week I showed you a video of
a children’s cult cute little kids willingly dressed in Green Bay gear and singing about their beloved Pack. Here’s what happens if you don’t participate.
It’s going to be difficult to win in the snow, in Lambeau, without Seinfeld, and with Favre sliding around and tossing no look shovel passes like he’s a kid on the playground, but hopefully the Giants are up to the task.
I’m enjoying the Giants postseason run for a few reasons. First, I mentioned them as a possible Super Bowl team earlier in the year. Second, now that I left New Jersey for the West Coast, the Giants winning some games is much more tolerable. Especially since most Giants’ fans (up until two weeks ago) hate Eli Manning, as does the media - at least compared to Favre/Brady. I also love the aspect of every single drive from here until he wins a Super Bowl being a “defining drive in Eli Manning’s career.” At last count he’s up to 39 career defining drives and should be good for a few more this weekend. And lastly, it's nice to see the football Gods rewarding the Giants for actually giving a crap against the Patriots.
And nobody gives a crap more than Osi Umenyiora, literally. Whether that story is true or not, let’s hope he celebrates each and every sack by shitting all over Brett Favre.
Pick: Giants +7.5
Enjoy the games and believe in football.