Week 16 Pick 'em

The Miami Football Dolphins are back! Faith is restored! Believe in football! At least that's what I'm sayin' heading into week 16. Not only that, but I am among those who can now say they were screwed by Jessica Simpson. Like thousands of others, Romo's performance cost me my playoff matchup and I'm now headed to the consolation third place game. The bright side is I've elected to have Cleo Lemon, Greg Camarillo and the Miami Defense lead me into battle, so I'm pretty much assured of a win.

I gained a game on Durden last week, but this competition is all but over as he has a commanding lead 119-95-10 to 107-107-10.


Dallas Cowboys @ Carolina Panthers +10
Mazzone:

"The real me is a southern girl with her Levis on and an open heart
Wish I could save the world, like I was super girl
The real me used to laugh all night lyin' in the grass just talking about love
But lately I've been jaded - life got so complicated..."

Pick: Mr. Jessica Simpson -10

Durden: Damn, the way everyone’s reacting to this, you’d think TO faked a suicide or a something. Hey, it takes a distraction to know one, right?
Pick: Cowboys -10


Cleveland Browns @ Cincinnati Bengals +3
Mazzone: I feel pretty good about the Browns not finishing 11-5, but they should have no trouble with the Niners at home next week. So, that means the Bengals play the role of mini-spoiler this week and prevent Cleveland from clinching a playoff spot with a win. Regardless of the outcome, let's hope they come close repeating the week two 51-45 offensive explosion.
Pick: Bengals +3

Durden: Not only are the Browns and Steelers almost certainly going to the playoffs, but I can’t even take solace in the fact that they’re almost just as certainly not winning the Super Bowl. This of course, is because the *&!@%&# Patriots are likely to eliminate one or both in January, which takes some of the fun out of it.

I hate to pick the Browns to win Sunday and clinch their playoff berth, but if they don’t vs Cincy, they’ll just do it next week vs San Francisco. The inclement weather they’re expecting will hurt the Browns less than it will the Bengals, and it’s an advantage Cleveland probably won’t even need. In other news, I just realized my favorite teams have temporarily become Indy, Jacksonville and San Diego.
Pick: Browns -3


Green Bay Packers @ Chicago Bears +8
Mazzone: So, I guess at some point I have to believe in the Packers but I'm still rooting strongly against a Green Bay/New England Super Bowl.

If I'm a Bears fan I'm trying to talk myself into this season being the result of injuries on defense, but deep down it'd be tough to ignore my complete lack of faith in the QB and RB positions. The best thing going for the Bears is that they play in the NFC, and it's possible the Packers' and Vikings' seasons were mirages.
Pick: Packers -8

Durden: After watching Kyle Orton’s “performance” (for lack of a better word), I fully expected some internet freak to come out with a “Leave Rex Grossman Alone” tape. As bad as the Sex Cannon has been in the past, he just isn’t as bad as Orton, and that was against the worst pass defense in the league. Kampman, Woodson and company are going to have a field day this Sunday.
Pick: Packers -8


Houston Texans @ Indianapolis Colts -7
Mazzone: If they were in any other division in football the Texans would be looking at a pretty successful season, as it stands they're going to end up in last most likely - which bodes well for next year's schedule outside the division at least.

But that's next year, this game seems easy as I don't expect either team to repeat last weeks performance where the Texans handled Denver easily and the Colts struggled mightily to move the ball in Oakland.
Pick: Colts -7

Durden: Disclaimer: the only thing you should take from us on this game is that Mazzone and I have almost always disagreed on the Texans this year, and he’s almost always been right. It wouldn’t be unreasonable to predict the Colts to let up because they’re locked into the 2 seed, but I don’t see it happening.
Pick: Colts -7


Kansas City Chiefs @ Detroit Lions -4.5
Mazzone: If you're forced to watch this one, at least you can compare Dwayne Bowe to Calvin Johnson. Johnson has been far less a factor than I thought he'd be and his inconsistency is disappointing, but I still expect him to develop into a superb wide receiver before all is said and done. Bowe on the other hand has surprised me and he looks like he could be a legit number 1 receiver as well. This one's tough to pick, but the Chiefs have the best player playing in this game (Jared Allen) and we know Herman Edwards plays to win the game, so there's that. Also, God has clearly given up on Jon Kitna and the Lions so...
Pick: Chiefs +4.5

Durden: It’s almost Christmas, but seeing as how God didn’t give the Lions the 10 wins Kitna asked for, is there any hope for the rest of us to get what we asked for? I’m skeptical, but Herm Edwards has a message for us: Get over it!
Pick: Chiefs +4.5


New York Giants @ Buffalo Bills +2.5
Mazzone: Geez, Eli and the Giants look downright pitiful nowadays. I thought the opposite would happen and they'd gel into an NFC championship contender as the season went on. Even so, I've never thought much of the Bills, and their loss in the blizzard last week leaves them with nothing to play for whereas the Giants can clinch a playoff berth with a win.
Pick: Giants -2.5

Durden: Unless the Giants are planning on beating the Patriots next week, they need to beat Buffalo in rainy conditions to control their own playoff destiny. However, they won’t just be up against the rain, as there will be a miracle man in the house. Kevin Everett returns to Ralph Wilson Stadium for the first time since his spinal cord injury, giving new meaning to walking on water.
Pick: Bills +2.5


Oakland Raiders @ Jacksonville Jaguars -13
Mazzone: Count me among the many that were impressed by the Jags convincing win last week. Save for a bad Garrard INT (he's entitled to one) the game was pretty much all Jaguars. Fred Taylor is putting together a solid season which will continue to go unnoticed by the vast majority of fans - even Reggie Williams has shown up at times. The loss of Marcus Stroud hurts their long term playoff chances, but they should have few problems with the Fargas-less Raiders this week.
Pick: Jaguars -13

Durden: This line seems high, but the Jags have been incredibly impressive since losing to the Saints in Week 9. While it doesn’t seem as if the Raiders have quit on their season, I don’t see the mixing and matching of QBs and RBs working out for them very well on the road this Sunday. I did want to point out a (very) little known fact though. Did you know that Justin Fargas is Huggy Bear’s son?? I can’t believe we don’t hear more about that.
Pick: Jaguars -13

Philadelphia Eagles @ New Orleans Saints -3.5
Mazzone: Great matchup for the Eagles, there is no way McNabb doesn't have a huge game against this secondary and you know Andy Reid is going to put the ball in the air.
Pick: Eagles+3.5

Durden: The Eagles are another team that I have just not been able to figure out this year. Therefore, I’m just going to stick to my beliefs from earlier this season, which were that any success the Saints had would be a function of their schedule and that they’d tease people into thinking they were for real, before missing the playoffs.
Pick: Eagles +3.5


Atlanta Falcons @ Arizona Cardinals -10
Mazzone: Whatever.
Pick: Cardinals -10


Durden: It’s funny that the Cardinals are giving anybody 10 points, but that’s what it’s come to for the Falcons. It’s also funny that the biggest loser of the Bobby Petrino Saga may have been Brian Brohm, who is surely less likely to be drafted by the Falcons now. Of course, this might then make me the biggest loser if he falls to the Ravens and they draft him.
Pick: Cardinals -10

Baltimore Ravens @ Seattle Seahawks -10
Mazzone: Durden may win the pick 'em war, but I won the battle! His Ravens lost TPS Bowl I in a thriller, but you can't blame them for not being able to stop Cleo Lemon and Greg Camarillo. Cam Cam had worked with both of them in San Diego and it was only a matter of time before that ex-Charger triad put it all together.

The Ravens seem to have really given up after the loss to the Patriots, and now Troy Smith gets the start which should help them improve upon their draft position.
Pick: Seahawks -10

Durden: While I’ve been quick to point out the Ravens’ injuries and lack of depth, they’ve also clearly given up on their season once the Patriot game didn’t go their way. This was evident for everyone to see as they rolled over against the Dolphins in TPS Bowl I and mailed in another embarrassing performance. Brian Billick may PLAY TO TIE THE GAME, but he won’t be given the chance on Sunday. Thanks guys.
Pick: Seahawks -10

New York Jets @ Tennessee Titans -8.5
Mazzone: The Titans need this win, and they're fortunate to have the Jets on the schedule since Vince Young and company have only beaten one team with a record above .500 (Jax in week 1, 13-10). Even though the Jets are terrible, have nothing to play for, and three of the eight Titans' wins this season are by more than 8 points (Chiefs by 9 last week, the Panthers by 13 in week 8, and the Saints by 17 in week 3), 8.5 still seems a little high to me as I haven't been overly impressed with TN the past couple weeks.
Pick: Jets +8.5

Durden: If I’ve said it once, I’ve said it a million times: Albert Haynesworth sometimes just wins football games!
Pick: Titans -8.5


Tampa Bay Buccaneers @ San Francisco 49ers +6
Mazzone: The Niners win last week could prove to be detrimental to New England's draft position. I'm sure Belichick put in a phone call and persuaded Shaun Hill to stop trying to play hero.
Pick: Bucs -6

Durden: Really Vegas? The 49ers are getting less than a touch? I know you should avoid betting against Shaun Hill at home, at all costs, but I’m going to roll the dice here.
Pick: Buccaneers -6

Miami Dolphins @ New England Patriots -22
Mazzone: As if close calls against AJ Feeley, Kyle Boller, and Chad Pennington weren't enough, we can officially put all the talk to rest about the Patriots being the greatest ever when Cleo Lemon rolls into town and beats them on their own turf.
Pick: Dolphins +22

Durden: As Mazzone wrote in his latest entry, he’s excited. First, his Dolphins finally won their first game in over a year, capped off by a play that rocked Fantasy Playoffs all across the country: Cleo Lemon to Greg Camarillo for 64 yards. Now, they’ve hired Bill Parcells to shop for someone else’s groceries, and I really can’t blame him for being far more excited about the Dolphins than he was a week ago.

However, Mazzone’s not one to stay satisfied for long and he’s fully expecting a win on Sunday, at New England. I couldn’t disagree more, considering that the Pats have been relatively dormant for several weeks now, and we all saw what happened in the first meeting. I don’t think Belichick’s forgotten Don Shula’s comments earlier this year and the Patriots are gonna “wake up” in a big way on Sunday, assuming the weather cooperates.

Finally, I’ll leave you with Vonnie Holliday’s recap of last Sunday’s epic play: "It was like watching one of those plays in slow motion, and it's the Super Bowl and the miraculous catch and all those things," Holliday said. "It was up there like that for us. Maybe not for everybody else, but for us it was up there with all those great catches -- Dwight Clark and all those guys."
Pick: Patriots -22

**Editors Note: Suck it!



Washington Redskins @ Minnesota Vikings -6.5
Mazzone: It's certainly tragic that his life was cut short, but I don't care what anyone says - Sean Taylor's spirit being voted to the Pro Bowl is freakin' lame.

Adrian Peterson continues to make his case to be the number 1 overall fantasy pick next season - let's just hope Madden keeps him off the cover.
Pick: Vikings +6.5

Durden: Unfortunately, it takes an event like this to remind us how important it is to tell our friends and family how much we care about them…before they go to a football game.
Pick: Vikings -6.5


Denver Broncos @ San Diego Chargers -8.5
Mazzone: Regardless of the score, I could see this being a short night for a lot of the Charger starters, with the Division already wrapped up and Merriman/Rivers/Turner already nursing injuries.
Pick: Broncos +8.5

Durden: Not much to say here, except that after last week, I refuse to take the Broncos for the rest of the season.
Pick: Chargers -8.5

Week 14 Picks

Carolina Panthers @ Jacksonville Jaguars -10.5
Mazzone: Last week’s game against the Colts wasn’t as close as the score indicates, and though they’re a really good football team, the Jags still have a little ways to go before being considered with the best. It’s difficult to take the Panthers, but I think 10.5 is tough with a trip to Pittsburgh looming for Jax next week.
Pick: Panthers +10.5

Durden: Before beating up the hapless 49ers last week, the Panthers had ripped off 5 straight losses. I expect them to revert back to form and lose not only on Sunday, but for the remainder of the season. Jacksonville should bounce back big after last week’s loss to Indy, and getting back Marcus Stroud certainly won’t hurt.
Pick: Jaguars -10.5

Dallas Cowboys @ Detroit Lions +10.5
Mazzone: A week ago, I gave the Lions one last chance, but they look like a team that’s done and now they’re without Roy Williams. Dallas is rolling and it seems like only they can keep themselves from representing the NFC in the Super Bowl.
Pick: Cowboys -10.5

Durden: While Detroit is well on its way to a 6 or 7 win season, they did a hell of a job of tricking a lot of us into thinking that they may have been for real. Still, it means Kitna will be wrong about his team winning 10 games this year. Unfortunately for him, that may be nothing compared to the trouble that awaits him this Sunday, as a result of him opening his big mouth.
Pick: Cowboys -10.5

Miami Dolphins @ Buffalo Bills -7
Mazzone: Another easy win for the Dolphins. I just hope they don’t fall into the trap of looking two weeks ahead to the highly anticipated matchup with the Patriots.
Pick: Dolphins +7

Durden: Before last week’s game, Dolphins DT Vonnie Holliday shouted to Jets LB David Bowens, "Today's gonna be our day!" To which Bowens responded, "I bet you felt like that about 11 other teams" Fortunately for Miami, they’re expecting snow in Buffalo on Sunday. Bad weather has already helped slow down Miami’s opponent in games this year, and Buffalo is certainly worse than the Giants or Steelers.
Pick: Dolphins +7


New York Giants @ Philadelphia Eagles -3
Mazzone: Donovan McNabb is BACK! That should lead to quite a bit of my brother’s favorite play in football - Donovan McNabb getting sacked. It’s going to be sad when he’s playing elsewhere next year. Since Kevin Kolb is white, it’s going to take longer for people to turn on him.
Pick: Giants +3

Durden: This game might be the toughest pick of the week. Their first game this season isn’t much help, as the Eagles will have William Thomas, Brian Dawkins and Brian Westbrook this time around, while the Giants will likely be starting Reuben Droughns. Of course, that may not matter as it’s impossible to know which Eagle team will show up this season, but the Giants just haven’t been the same since their loss against the Cowboys. I’ll take the Eagles at home, splitting the season series against the Giants.
Pick: Eagles -3

Oakland Raiders @ Green Bay Packers -10.5
Mazzone: It was actually smart of Favre to leave the Cowboys game early with an injury. Now, if they meet again in the playoffs the team will still have hope. “We played them pretty close without Brett!” Whereas if he had stayed in and continued to play like he was, they would have been blown out and morale would have been low heading into a playoff rematch. That’s why he’s one of the greatest. Raiders have won 2 in a row, they’re due to play like the Raiders again.
Pick: Packers -10.5

Durden: The half point was just what I needed to pick the Raiders and against the Packers, which is always my preference. Plus, with Aaron Rodgers recently getting hurt, Green Bay is down to their 3^rd stringer if Favre really is banged up and gets injured again. Would it kill him to throw back some painkillers?
Pick: Raiders +10.5

Pittsburgh Steelers @ New England Patriots -11
Mazzone: This has all the makings of one of those games where everyone finally starts to doubt the dominant team and they revert back to the machine they were earlier in the year. But at the same time, it’s so easy to hate the Patriots and drum up reasons why they could/should lose. Also, I mentioned a few weeks ago in this column how I thought the Steelers matched up alright and had a shot against the juggernaut. The deciding factor is…how can you possibly go against an Anthony Scott guarantee?!
Pick: Steelers +11

Durden: After close games against the Eagles and Ravens, I think it’s fair to start asking the question. Did the Patriots not have tape on Baltimore and Philly?? However, what they lack in videotape on their opponents, they clearly make up for in help from the officiating. Look for New England to “bounce back” and stick it to Pittsburgh.
Pick: Patriots -11

San Diego Chargers @ Tennessee Titans -1
Mazzone: This is one of the few games I’m really looking forward to watching this week. Haynesworth is back and winning football games for the Titans while Vince Young’s almost looked like a real QB the past few weeks.

At the same time LDT is coming off a huge game and the Chargers are on a roll with the defense flying all over the field. In the end, I’m going with the Titans for a couple reasons: 1) they’re home 2) Philip Rivers, even in his good statistical games, hasn’t looked that impressive and I always feel like he’s going to cost them the game against good defenses.
Pick: Titans -1

Durden: RIP “Albert Haynesworth just wins football games”
Pick: Chargers +1

St. Louis Rams @ Cincinnati Bengals -6.5
Mazzone: I don’t care how bad the Bengals have been, or that the Rams are on a bit of a roll, there is absolutely no way I’m betting on Brock Berlin.
Pick: Bengals -6.5

Durden: Quick, name a DB or two on the Rams. If you couldn’t come up with anything, then I won’t bother asking you to name ones that are actually healthy. Anyways, those are the guys covering Houshmazilli and the Chad this week. I don’t see how the Rams can keep this one close, and that’s before taking into account that the Rams will be without both Marc Bulger and Gus Frerotte. Brock Berlin, enjoy your first career NFL start.
Pick: Bengals -6.5

Tampa Bay Buccaneers @ Houston Texans +3
Mazzone: Gotta continue to give credit to Gruden with this Bucs team. I thought they were going to be pretty awful and then when some key injuries set in I really thought it was going to go downhill. But they’ve beaten everyone they’re supposed to beat (4 losses to – Indy, Seattle, Jax, Detroit when they were decent). There isn’t a team the Bucs shouldn’t beat left on their schedule (@Hou, Atl, @SF, Car) but if they do that, they’ll finish 12-4 with 8 consecutive wins, and I can’t see that happening. I think Houston at home has the best chance of any of the remaining teams to knock off the Bucs.
Pick: Texans +3

Durden: While Sage Rosenfels proved to be serviceable earlier this year, he did so behind an offensive line that was fully intact. This time around, it’s down to at least one third-stringer and the Bucs come into this one on a roll. The Saints gave away the game last week, but I think they’ll take care of this one on their own.
Pick: Buccaneers -3

Arizona Cardinals @ Seattle Seahawks -7
Mazzone: The Cards are running out of weapons and the Seahawks are playing like we thought they would earlier in the year. Regardless of the outcome of this one, with NO, ATL, and STL left on Arizona’s schedule, they’ll likely be in the playoff hunt ‘til the end in the woeful NFC.
Pick: Seahawks -7

Durden: I have to admit, I’m incredibly wary of picking Seattle in a game which could seem them all but clinch the division, on their own. However, it does appear that they’ve been taking care of business on their field this season, while the Cards continue to lose guys on both sides of the ball to injury.
Pick: Seahawks -7

Minnesota Vikings @ San Francisco 49ers +8.5
Mazzone: There’s a lot of talk about Tim Tebow potentially getting snubbed from the Heisman (which he undoubtedly deserves, as much as I like McFadden) because he’s a sophomore. It’ll be a shame if it happens, but certainly not the first time. Adrian Peterson should have won it as a FRESHMAN in ’04. He’s been that much better than everyone else his whole life, no one should be surprised by his NFL success, which will continue against the ‘Niners. In other news, Tarvaris Jackson might not be half bad, to be continued…
Pick: Vikings -8.5

Durden: The 49ers go into games with Frank Gore as their only hope to stay in games. The Vikings’ top rated run defense should remove that hope easily, allowing their suddenly hot offense to take care of the rest.
Pick: Vikings -8.5


Cleveland Browns @ New York Jets +3.5
Mazzone: I’m really pumped for everything about the return of American Gladiators this January. To the point where I don’t think I’d mind in the least if the commercials for it were played more than Frank TV promos and “this is our country” combined.
Pick: Browns -3.5

Durden:
This is an all-new kind of trap game. It’s the “our minds won’t be on the Browns because the beating of a lifetime awaits us next week” game.
Pick: Browns -3.5


Kansas City Chiefs @ Denver Broncos -7
Mazzone: I haven’t been able to figure out Denver all season. Coming in, I thought they were rated too highly by the experts, but I also didn’t think they were as terrible as they looked their first 5 games. KC on the other hand is still bad, but slightly better than I thought they’d be as I had them winning about 3 games or so for the whole season (they’re at 4 with some winnable games left). They’re getting something out of this Kolby Smith character, Tony Gonzalez is still really good and Dwayne Bowe’s legit. I think they’ll at least keep it close enough to make it worth taking the points.
Pick: Chiefs +7

Durden: If Denver wins, it’ll be their first win in three weeks. If Kansas City wins, it’ll be Brodie Croyle’s first win in…ever.
Pick: Broncos -7

Indianapolis Colts @ Baltimore Ravens +9.5
Mazzone: The Ravens followed the Eagles blueprint for almost beating the Patriots to a T, right down to finding a way to give the game away in the fourth quarter. Devastating loss, and it will be interesting to see if they have anything left to give for this one. I’m guessing no, and I can’t really blame them.
Pick: Colts -9.5

Durden: While I really feel the officiating cost the Ravens all game, they also failed to win the game on their own. It’s easy as a fan to complain about that and be miserable over it, but it’s difficult watching your team do the same during and after the game. There’s really no way to predict how the Ravens will come out for this game, but after last weeks’ performance, I gotta keep the faith.
Pick: Ravens +9.5

New Orleans Saints @ Atlanta Falcons +4
Mazzone: Something tells me this wasn’t what the NFL had in mind when they set up a rematch of last season’s Katrina game. Michael Vick is in jail, Deuce McAllister is hurt, Reggie Bush is likely out “with a knee, a shin and a rib”, but hey, I’ve always wanted to root for Chris Redman in prime time.
Pick: Falcons +4

Durden: Somewhere, Inmate #85067 wants to know: Who let the dogs out?!?!?
Pick: Saints -4

Week 9 Picks: Spread 'em the In-N-Out Challenge

Last week we learned that both Vince Young (6/14 42 yards, 7 rushes - 11 yards, 1 fumble) AND Quinn Gray (7/16 100 yards, TD, 3 rushes - 0 yards, 1 fumble) just win football games! We also saw both of your TPS writers come in above .500 for the second consecutive week.

Unfortunately, my 7-6 wasn’t even close to enough to keep pace with Durden’s 10-3. His season record is now at a very respectable 60-49-7 and he has a comfortable 10 cheeseburger lead over me.

The good news for me: The Dolphins can’t lose this week and since it’s the biggest event in the history of the entire world, *the Patriots/Colts game will be worth 10 games in the win column

*Note – only applicable if the Colts cover.

Someone told Bill Cowher about the bounty that the guys at KSK put on Tom Brady, hopefully defenders were listening too.

With Miami on a bye, in honor of Durden coming off a 10-3 week, and Baltimore in an important prime time matchup, we're donning Raven purple and black this week.

Alright, let's do it.

Click clack.

WAS @ NYJ +3.5
Mazzone: Not only did the Jets lose Vilma, but last week we saw why it took so long for the Mangina to give up on Pennington. Kellen Clemens against the Bills: 5/12, 67 yards, 2 INTs. It’s not getting any easier.
Pick: Redskins -3.5

Durden: I was appalled that the Patriots would pull Brady from last week’s game, so they could insert Cassel and further embarrass Washington. I really think it’s time to question New England’s sportsmanship if they’re going to continue with those kind of antics. As for the Redskins, I still don’t think they’re a bad football team. I’m willing to forget last week, and while it’s possible that they’re not very good, we KNOW the Jets are awful.
Pick: Redskins -3.5


SF @ ATL -3
Mazzone: Week 8 I mentioned how the Niners should be winless and then went ahead and picked them anyway. What kind of role model would I be to all the kids coming to TPS for gambling advice if I didn’t teach them to learn from their mistakes?
Pick: Falcons -3

Durden: The Falcons seem to be awfully shocked that Grady Jackson was released. Really though? If I worked with a guy who was fat, lazy and suing our company, I don’t know that I’d be very shocked if he got fired. However, while there are obvious concerns that the team may have quit on Joey and Petrino, I’m still going to go with the Falcons. They’re coming off a bye, and more importantly, the 49ers have been that bad.
Pick: Falcons -3

ARI @ TB -3.5
Mazzone: If I wasn’t starting Earnest Graham and Anquan Boldin on my fantasy team this week I’d be perfectly ok with this game not happening. Tampa’s been winning at home, the Cards usually lose on the road, it’s not rocket science but I’m ready to be done with this game so it works for me. In unrelated news, Lance Armstrong is dating Ashley Olsen?! What?! Doesn’t he get depressed when he sees the twins together? Oh right, like you weren’t thinking of your own one testicle joke.
Pick: Bucs -3.5

Durden: I will not pretend to have either of these teams figured out. It’s hard not to like the Cards though, fresh and healthier off the bye, while the Bucs continue to crash back down to Earth. I think these are two teams at/around .500, heading in opposite directions, that will both end up at .500 Told you I haven’t figured them out.
Pick: Cardinals +3.5


GB @ KC -2.5
Mazzone: What the hell is this? I hate when I see a line like this, I feel like Vegas knows the game is fixed. The 6-1 Packers are underdogs against the 4-3 Chiefs that have allowed more points than they scored and have one mildly impressive win to their resume (the Chargers were a different team back then, but I'll count it anyway). I’m going to be so annoyed when the Chiefs win.
Pick: Packers +2.5

Durden: Good news Packer haters! I’ve been pretty accurate about GB this season, even predicting the spin on last week’s victory, with ESPN literally praising Favre’s “magic” in their Tuesday morning headline. After all, his 82yd throw-and-catch to himself for the game-winning TD in OT was mighty impressive. However, this week I actually feel good about the Packers slipping up. The Chiefs are at home, off the bye, and the Pack is simply due to not get all the breaks in a game.

Finally, the winner of this week’s Worst Brett Favre Slurping Award goes to ESPN’s John Clayton. It was a tough week with the Packers being on MNF, and the award would have gone to Tony Kornheiser for his pre-game introduction, but he was disqualified because it was so long that it wouldn’t fit on this site. Therefore, Clayton prevailed over his media brethren with the following: “For those wondering about Favre, the gunslinger is still packing.” Um, thanks John. Pick: Chiefs -2.5


CIN @ BUF PK
Mazzone: As excited as I was that the Bills finally completed their go-to play that I outlined earlier in the year (Losman blind heave to Lee Evans, hope he comes down with it and out runs everyone), I still can’t back J.P. Losman’s impeachment of Trent Edwards.
Pick: Bengals PK

Durden: I can’t believe it’s come to this for the Bengals. The only thing that surprised me more than this game being a pick’em, was that I then started to give it thought, before actually settling on the Bills. TJ Houshmandzadeh sums it up pretty well:

Trailing 14-3 to the Steelers last week, the Bengals drove to a 4th and 1 from just inside the 2yd line with 2:16 left in the first half. They needed about 2 feet. They looked like they were going to go for it and then Lewis called time-out to talk about it. Then he sent in the field goal unit. The players were understandably shocked. "It's like telling a kid he can have some candy and then saying, 'Um, not right now,' " wide receiver T.J. Houshmandzadeh said. “That's why they're 5-2 and we're 2-5. Good teams put it in the end zone. Teams like us kick field goals."

Meanwhile, the Bills players are getting what they want, which is Losman back in at QB. Ordinarily, I could care less, but I’m excited that he’s back after they tried to bench him to avoid paying him bonuses. It has all the makings of something Buffalo will rally around, for the win.
Pick: Bills PK


SD @ MIN +7
Mazzone: America’s Team is on fire right now and not even Major Dad benching Tarvaris Jackson, feeding the ball to Purple Jesus, or signing Jeff George could stop them.
Pick: Chargers -7

Durden: We’ve told you the Vikings can’t stop the pass. You really think they’re going to stop Vincent Jackson and company from coming into town and doing some serious damage? Let’s be serious. Plus, Minnesota still hasn’t convinced people they can score, or even utilize AD properly. This spread should be higher.
Pick: Chargers -7


DEN @ DET -3
Mazzone: A heartbreaker on Monday Night Favre for the Broncos, but they shouldn’t have expected anything less. Cutler makes just enough plays each game to make you think he could be really good. That should be no different against a Lions pass defense giving up roughly 260 yards a game in the air. Of course, the flip side is that Jay The Snake makes his fair share of awful decisions/passes that leave you shaking your head. I was all set to pick the Lions thanks to winning the turnover battle, at least until Kitna APOLOGIZED for being funny and having a hilarious Halloween costume. I bet Jay Cutler has balls, at least.
Pick: Broncos +3

Durden: I’ve liked this Lions team, and that was before I found out they had a sense of humor. No, I’m not referring to them pouring Gatorade on Rod Marinelli after they beat the Bucs last week (true story, by the way). I’m talking about Jon Kitna’s Halloween costume this year. All jokes aside, I made up my mind a few weeks ago and decided I wouldn’t be fooled by the Broncos any longer. In fact, I’d even recommend the Lions to those of you still alive in Survivor/Survival pools, as most of you have probably burned the Chargers by now.
Pick: Lions -3


CAR @ TEN -4
Mazzone: The Panthers haven’t lost on the road this season. Vince Young hasn’t lost…ever.
Pick: Vince Young -4

Durden: This one’s a no-brainer, and it has nothing to do with Vince Young. Not only are the Panthers unsettled on who their QB is, but once they make up their mind, it’s either going to be David Carr or Vinny Testaverde. Making matters worse, if Carolina decides to force the run, they’ll be doing so against the league’s top-rated run defense. Somehow, the Panthers have lost every game at home, and are undefeated on the road. I can’t imagine that disturbing truth will continue to hold true after Sunday.
Pick: Titans -4


JAC @ NO -3.5
Mazzone: This’ll be a good test for the Saints offense to see if they are actually back or were just preying on weak teams. I mentioned how the Jags D was playing well, but hadn’t been forcing turnovers. Last week, they were able to intercept Jeff Garcia three times at critical moments to fend off the Bucs and overcome the handicap that is Quinn Gray. Should be a nice little game, and I’m excited for the continued re-emergence of Hofstra, even though he annihilated my fantasy team last week.
Pick: Saints -3.5

Durden: We let you down picking against the Jags in week 8, but the Saints came through as they continued to look good against bad teams. I maintain that they’ll trick people into getting excited, and this could actually be their most difficult game left on the schedule seriously, look. I really don’t know what to make of this game, so I’m going to pick against Quinn Gray on the road again. I also don’t think Brees will give Jacksonville the game this week, as Jeff Garcia did last week. Beware of the Saints though, any success this season will be more a function of their schedule than anything else.
Pick: Saints -3.5


SEA @ CLE -1
Mazzone: I can’t believe the NFL scheduled so many other games the same day as the Super Bowl. Seahawks get their starting receivers back and I think that, combined with the Browns lousy defense will be enough to jump start the offense.
Pick: Seahawks +1

Durden: I was initially inclined to pick the Browns here, but a couple of things swayed me. First, the Browns haven’t beaten a truly talented team yet. Also, an already bad Browns defense will be without Ted Washington and D’Qwell Jackson, two of their better defenders. Finally, and most importantly, the Seahawks always seem to perform opposite how I expect them to. Let’s face it, Seattle is going to back into the playoffs again, but they still need a few more wins before they can do so. This will be one of them.
Pick: Seahawks +1


HOU @ OAK -3
Mazzone: Even the “fans” of these teams are trying to get the game blacked out so they can watch Pats/Colts. Schaub is still woozy from last week, but Sage Rosenfels is actually the perfect fit for the Texans right now. Since the offense is made up of 2nd and 3rd stringers he should have great chemistry with them. There’s not really a convincing argument for either team, so two things swayed me. One, last week two bad teams played and I took the home team and the three points, and lost. Two, the Texans have the Nigerian Jedi - Adimchinobe Wan Kenobi Echemandu.
Pick: Texans +3

Durden: The game that no one wants to watch! In Houston, people are writing and pleading that the Patriots/Colts game be shown. In Oakland, people are hoping enough people don’t go to the game, so that it will be blacked out locally and they can watch the Game of the Century as well. What? No one wants to watch Sage Rosenfels vs Josh McCown?! I bet that would change if they advertised it as the Gus Johnson game. Anyways, I want to get to that Patriots game, so give me the Raiders game.
Pick: Raiders -3


NE @ IND +6
Mazzone: You’ve heard all there is to hear about this game by now. Maybe I’m being stubborn, or letting my hatred for the Pats get the best of me, but I’m going with the undefeated, defending Super Bowl Champions… at home…plus 6 points.
Pick: Colts +6

Durden: Here it is, The Game of the Millennium of the Week AKA The Apocalypse. Funny thing is, I’ve been saying for weeks that the Patriots will beat everyone by at least 10 points, yet I’m still eagerly anticipating this game. As a Brady fantasy owner, I really can’t complain that they’re blatantly disrespecting each of their opponents, but I did tell Mazzone last week that it was a matter of time before someone went after Brady. Fortunately for the Patriots, they have 3 of the league’s dirtiest players on their roster, in Rodney Harrison, Mike Vrabel and Vincent Wilfork. Back to this game, I have to admit that I actually underestimated the Colts coming into this season, but I still don’t think they’re in the same class as the 2007 Patriots. As Coach Reilly once said: "It's not worth winning, if you can't win BIG." So…
Pick: Patriots -6

DAL @ PHI +3
Mazzone: While we all certainly wish flex scheduling was in effect and the NE/Indy game was moved to this slot, at least we still get a fun matchup on Sunday night. These games are always entertaining, especially in front of the raucous Philly crowd. It’d be nice to see the McNabb from early last season show up for this one in prime time, but nothing suggests he will so I’ve gotta go with the better team.
Pick: Cowboys -3

Durden: A judge who sentenced Philadelphia Eagles coach Andy Reid's sons to jail on Thursday likened the coach's home to "a drug emporium" and questioned whether his adult sons should live there. I know Reid isn’t around a lot, but do you really need your parents to tell you not to smuggle drugs up your butt into jail? I don’t even know what the thought process could’ve been like, but it should’ve ended immediately upon introducing his anus into the equation. Speaking of assholes, you just know TO is looking to go off on Sunday Night Football, and I fully expect him to break out the Eagle in the endzone.
Pick: Cowboys -3


BAL @ PIT -9
Mazzone: I’m gonna step aside for Durden on this one as I'm sure he'll have plenty to say…
Pick: Ravens +9

Durden: As you should know by now, I don’t shy away from being objective about the Ravens. I’ve readily admitted when I’ve thought they’ve been too strongly favored, but this is one of those rare times, when I actually think they’re not being given enough credit. I know they’re only 4-3 and not better than their record, but this is the game they’ve had circled on their calendar since the season began. They went as far as to rest multiple players vs Buffalo before the Bye Week (which backfired as I feared), so that they would be as fresh as possible.

Basically, this game is the season if the Ravens are going to even pretend they have a shot at making some noise this season. I know it’s only Week 9, but their remaining schedule is absolutely brutal, and they’ve all rallied around this game. I have no idea where the points are going to come from since Stevie Wonder will be back under center, but I do have faith that they can contain Pittsburgh’s offense. In case you’ve forgotten, this is what happened the last time the Ravens went to Heinz Field .

Do the Steelers deserve to be favored? Absolutely. But the Steelers are also in for a fight, and unless they completely blow the Ravens out, they’re not covering. I guarantee that Little Ben hasn’t forgotten what the Ravens did to him last year (as you’ll see below), but who knows, maybe he’ll play an entire game against Baltimore for the first time in his career. It’s only his 7th career game vs the Ravens, but it’s about time he stick around to complete a losing effort.
Pick: Ravens +9

Week 8 Spread 'em: In-N-Out Challenge

First off, apologies for the lack of posts in recent weeks. My desktop is fried and won't be fixed for another week or so. I'm stuck working off my crappy laptop in the meantime, and since I associate that with my real job I try to stay off it as much as possible. But there is plenty of stuff in the works for when I get the desktop back up and running again.

Durden and I are, for the first time this season, both coming off respectable weeks. He was 9-5 and I was 8-6 and also correctly predicted that a kicker would kick 8 field goals last week. Unfortunately, I went with Matt Stover and not Rob Bironas.

Week 8 has some interesting story lines, but no one cares about those. Next week, the Colts beat the Pats and the following week the Chargers beat the Colts and the '72 Dolphins get to pop some champagne. I guess we'll pick games this week anyway.

click clack...


Cleveland @ St. Louis +3
Mazzone: I can't believe I actually said, "Wow, the Browns are only giving three to the Rams?!" Which screams of a Rams victory, but I'm not listening.
Pick: Browns -3

Durden: First, a note from a recent ESPN journal entry of Steven Jackson’s: Have a great week, everyone. And hold tight to me in your leagues. You may be seeing me sooner than you expected. (Great! Because I was expecting an effective Steven Jackson in Week 1, but to accelerate that expectation by negative 7 weeks would be AWESOME!)

And now, always take the Browns when the opposing coach is talking like this: "Maybe I'll go call the coach at Rutgers and get some of his plays. Maybe that's what I need to do. ... That's a great idea. That's what you ought to do. You ought to watch TV and just get plays, and we'll do that." -St. Louis Rams coach Scott Linehan when asked by a radio reporter at yesterday's press conference if he would call trick plays to jump start his slumping offense.
Pick: Browns -3


Detroit @ Chicago -5
Mazzone: Meh, the Bears have no business giving five points to a team that's ahead of them in the standings, and 2-0 in the division already. But, after Philadelphia cheated and turned off Brian Griese's headset, he said "Eff You", called his own plays and brought Chicago the length of the field to victory… on the road. You can't bet against that man this week! At least wait 'til the Lions pick him off three times before turning on him again.
Pick: Bears -5

Durden: I was caught off guard last week by the Lions getting away from the pass, but it made sense as the Bucs are far worse at defending the run, and it worked out. Sure, it helped that Jon Kitna’s dad hooked them up with some key fumbles and a field goal miss, but hey, that’s how God rolls. No such worries this week though, because the Bears have struggled against both the pass and the run, in large part due to injuries. Therefore, I expect the Lions to revert back to Tank Johnson football – guns a blazin’, baby.
Pick: Lions +5

Indy @ Carolina +7
Mazzone: There's no such thing as a trap game if David Carr is the opposing team's QB. I think the Colts will be looking ahead to the Patriots, so they may only win by 13. In related news, how many people have to talk about the Colts flying under the radar, before they aren't flying under the radar anymore? It's always great when every media outlet is a week late on a potential story like that and all the stories come out within a couple days of each other. This just in, the defending champs are still great!
Pick: Colts -7

Durden: A couple of things you could look at are the Panthers coming off a bye, and the Colts playing on short rest. Then when you’re done, you can stop wasting your time. There’s no way the NFL is letting Vinny or Carr come remotely close to ruining Pats @ Colts next week.
Pick: Colts -7


NYG @ Miami (London) +10
Mazzone: Ah, I remember when I heard about the London game, it being a "home" game for the Dolphins and how annoyed I was at that. "This better not cost them a playoff spot!" The good old days… Anyway, I'd feel better about the Dolphins chances if giant robotic Jason Taylor lined up on defense for them. Even though you could make a legitimate argument for not throwing John Beck to the wolves with this mess of a team, I'd like to see him after the bye week regardless of whether or not the Giants D-line eats Cle Lemon this week.
Pick: Miami +10

Durden: I get what the NFL is doing here, it’s just stupid. As if their season hadn’t been enough, Miami now loses a home game to London, and people over there are forced to watch them play. Whatever happens in London, stays in London! Speaking of London, here’s Channing Crowder joking around about it – or is he? Sadly though, I think any wild card introduced to a match-up can only benefit the Dolphins, but a decimated defense and no Ronnie Brown is too much to overlook.
Pick: Giants +10


Oakland @ Tennessee -7.5
Mazzone: The Titans are coming off their first win in franchise history without Vince Young at QB, so that should give them some added confidence in case he can't make it through the full game this week. I expect a defensive struggle, and the Raiders to keep it close.
Pick: Raiders +7.5

Durden: I’m pretty sure this is the most surprising line of the week. The Titans just proved they’re woefully inept in the red zone, and almost let Sage Rosenfels complete a 25 point, 4th quarter comeback. These Raiders may not be good, but they’ve managed to stay in most games.
Pick: Raiders +7.5



Philadelphia @ Minnesota +1
Mazzone: The two Eagles wins came against awful pass defenses (Lions ranked 30th, Jets ranked 26 th). Minnesota is dead last in defending the pass and they only have one thing to game plan against on offense. Sure, Adrian Peterson is an animal and his touches might be increased with Chester Taylor being bothered by injuries, but the Eagles are solid against the run (ranked 8 th) and Minnesota, barring defensive touchdowns, can't beat them any other way as long as Tarvaris Jackson is throwing the football.
Pick: Eagles -1

Durden: The few things I’ve read about this game suggest that the Vikings should go with Kelly Holcomb at QB, because he’s very familiar with the Eagles. It’s not bad logic, except that it means the Eagles are also very familiar with Kelly and whatever few strengths he may actually have. Truth is, I just don’t have a great feel for this game but I have a hard time believing the Eagles are a 2-5 team.
Pick: Eagles -1


Pittsburgh @ Cincy +3.5
Mazzone: It took a couple weeks, but I finally believe that the Bengals are actually as bad as they've shown us so far. Even so, their schedule is pretty weak the rest of the way, and it wouldn't be shocking if they gave false hope to their fans and went on a little winning streak. But it won't start this week.
Pick: Steelers -3.5

Durden: Maybe it was just the “brutal” 35 degree weather, but Big Gay Ben was TERRIBLE on Sunday night before the Steelers realized he really just shouldn’t be throwing further than 10 yards down the field. He was lucky to only have 2 of his passes picked off in the first half, yet those likely made the difference against the Broncos, as Pittsburgh was not too bad otherwise. I think they’ll bounce back just fine against a bad, banged up Bengals team that appears to be a mess right now. Finally, I wanted to show you all that classy, civilized Steeler fans do exist. Unfortunately, this is all I could find.
Pick: Steelers -3.5

Buffalo @ NYJ -3
Mazzone: Um, I haven't picked many home teams yet. So, there's that…
Pick: Jets -3

Durden: Maybe this would’ve been a better London game, since the Giants are actually playoff bound. Anyways, now that the Jets are 1-6, my guess is that teams will stop videotaping them from the sidelines. Fortunately for them, I think that and the home field advantage should be enough to double their win total for the season.
Pick: Jets -3


Jacksonville @ Tampa Bay -4
Mazzone: The Jacksonville defense is excellent, but their inability to hit the playmaker button and force turnovers will continue to haunt them. A short field would significantly help and offense that will be without David Garrard and possibly MJD. While I don't think Quinn Gray can possibly be as bad as he was in relief last week (and Tampa is certainly not Indy), I'm still not ready to take him on the road.
Pick: Bucs -4

Durden: Before the Garrard injury, these teams were almost much mirror images of each other, with their D and ultra-conservative offenses keeping them in games. Not surprisingly, the AFC team in this case is better, but not when you replace Garrard with Quinn Gray. Words can not describe how bad that guy was against the Colts, and anyone that saw him play, knows what I’m talking about. Gray and a banged up MJD should equal bad times for the Jags.
Pick: Bucs -4


New Orleans @ San Fran +3
Mazzone: A matchup of two 2-4 teams (truth be told, the Niners should be 0-6 as anyone who saw their two wins can tell you). One was America's Team just a year ago, and the other was the favorite sleeper amongst the "experts" this season. Alex Smith is back at the helm for San Fran, but he may be without Darrell Jackson due to a quad injury. It's certainly more exciting to take the sexier Saints, but the truth is both these teams are bad, so I'm going with the home team and the points.
Pick: Niners +3

Durden: The Niners at home off the bye are enticing, but Alex Smith and Frank Gore less than 100% behind a line that’s been bad, do not inspire much confidence. Maybe the Saints should’ve looked better than they did against Atlanta, but I think they’ll win their 3rd in a row and flirt with playoff contention for a few weeks before they miss out.
Pick: Saints -3



Houston @ San Diego -11
Mazzone: It was tough to see Sage Rosenfels and the Texans "ROBBED" (oooooh) of a miraculous comeback win by Bironas and the Titans last week. Another loss, more injuries to deal with and now they have to face the new America's Team. By now, we all know that if there's anything that can save southern California and lift the people's spirits in the wake of the latest wildfires, it's professional football and the San Diego Super Chargers.
Pick: America's Team -11

Durden: Katrina Jr.? It’s unfortunate what’s going on out there, and it simply does not help that George Bush doesn’t care about white people. Yes, I know Norv Turner already has a big enough obstacle heading into games (himself), and this probably didn’t help much. However, I’m still taking them in my own Survivor Pool, and I feel confident that they’ll take care of business. Pick: Chargers -11


Washington @ New England -16.5
Mazzone: I don’t think the Pats are susceptible to a “trap game”, but the Redskin defense should be good enough to cover.
Pick: Redskins +16.5

Durden: The Patriots have only beaten a team by less than 20 once all season. The Redskins may be the most respectable opponent they’ll face to date, but Washington’s secondary did not finish the game as healthy as it started, and that’s enough for me to pick the Pats to cover yet again.
Pick: Patriots -16.5


Green Bay @ Denver -3
Mazzone: Brett Farve is fresh off a bye week where I’m sure he took home the Fed Ex air player of the week award and won another spot on the horse trailer for his performance watching the Colts/Jags game. The defeat of the Steelers was almost an impressive win for the Broncos before they fell apart and had to eke out a last second victory. I’m still not sure what to make of them, but I know I’m sick of a severely average Packers team winning games, so…
Pick: Denver -3

Durden: Anyone else suspect that John Madden will conveniently overcome his fear of flying to be at this game for his beloved Brett? I hate to say this, but Madden or not, I think we all may be in store for some of that “magic” on Monday. Of course, by magic, I just mean I think the Packers will beat a Denver team who hasn’t put together consecutive good games yet. We all know how the media will spin it on Tuesday morning though…
Pick: Packers +3

Week 3: Spread'em Challenge

Well, we both struggled last week , but still had some money making gems for our faithful readers. Durden hit his two team parlay for the second straight week (Packers/Pats) and though I fell short on my animal style parlay (Houston/Miami both to win outright), I did give you a couple upsets winners (Cards/Texans).

In the end, Durden squeaked out another 1 game win with a record of (7-8-1). That puts him at 15-14-3 while I sit two games back at 13-16-3, but I’m a notoriously slow starter…as far as you know.

Besides, I don’t know how you expect us to do well picking games with all the “cheating” going on. I heard some team’s (even teams with really really bad defenses) are now designing plays intended to cause sacks and turnovers. Goodell has to put a stop to this immediately.

Without further ado, onto the Week 3 picks…

Indianapolis Colts @ Houston Texans +6
Mazzone: The animal is out with an injury and Peyton and the Colts are coming off a rare subpar week. If the Texans pull this off they’ll make a believer out of Durden and everyone else. I’ll be rooting for it, but it’s going to take a near flawless performance and I don’t think they’re there just yet. This looks to be a small bump in the road for the Texans party bus.
Pick: Colts -6

Durden: There are two things here that I will stubbornly continue to ignore this week: the Texans' undefeated start to the season, and the Colts practically insisting on playing their opponents close in divisional games. In fact, three of the Colts' four losses last year were on the road against their divisional rivals. The Colts will cover though, and if there was any doubt, Andre Johnson's injury should put that to rest.
Pick: Colts -6

San Diego Chargers @ Green Bay Packers +5
Mazzone: Fresh off their blowout loss in Cheater Bowl ’07, people are giving the Chargers offense a pass because they played two tough defenses. That’s a lame excuse, and unless they plan on playing the Browns, Giants, and Raiders in the post season they might want to find a way to score on good defenses. The Packers will pose another test this weekend, and if the Chargers offense fails this one, it’s time to be seriously concerned about their Super Bowl potential.
Pick: Chargers -5

Durden: I guess when you're about to break the all-time INT record, you deserve the attention that Favre's getting. Meanwhile, the defense is actually winning them games while he's all but being begged to not lose them. The plan's working so far, and assuming Brett sticks to the script, I see them keeping this one close and possibly even winning (especially if Jamal Williams can't go for the Chargers). You'd think Rivers and the Charger offense would be due to break out any week, but it won't be against this defense. Pick: Packers +5

Minnesota Vikings @ Kansas City Chiefs -3
Mazzone: I hear Larry Johnson’s been getting a bad rap lately. ZING! Anyway, I was sold on the Chiefs in this game all week, but now with Tarvaris Jackson looking like he won’t be able to play, I’m actually a little concerned. Jackson going into KC after last weekend’s performance was easy money. He would have tried to do too much and turned the ball over some more. Bollinger/Holcomb might be better suited to go into that environment and manage the game (that thought looks a lot worse in print than it did in my head, but it’s not like the Chiefs have a superhero at QB either). In a matchup of two crappy teams, I’m taking the home team and the most proven player (LJ).
Pick: Chiefs -3

Durden: I heard the other day that this game was expected to be a defensive struggle. In this case, that's a nice way of saying that everything about this game is going to be a struggle for everyone involved, including us at home. Do yourself a favor and stay away from this one, but take the points if you're feeling brave. It really says a lot when you pick the team who doesn't know who its starting QB will be, doesn't it?
Pick: Vikings +3

Detroit Lions @ Philadelphia Eagles -7
Mazzone: It’s a classic battle… The revered white QB trying to turn around a franchise (with the help of God) against the ridiculed black QB that’s singlehandedly destroying his team. The Eagles have been here before, and I’m not ready to call McNabb “DUNovan” just yet, but 7 seems like a lot when a team that’s shown us nothing is playing a team that’s brought us miracles. I like the Eagles to win, but the Lions to keep it interesting...and if they don’t, these Eagles jerseys certainly will.
Pick: God +7

Durden: Allegedly, this line was originally -10 but was adjusted with the Lions having the racial advantage at QB. In spite of that, I like the Lions to cover (and quite possibly win) as their passing game should be too overwhelming for a banged up Eagle secondary. Let's face it, we might see a very creative interpretation of defense in this one from both teams. Westbrook may not even play, and McNabb has looked too shaky for me to feel good about Philly's offense in a shootout.
Pick: Lions +7

Buffalo Bills @ New England -16.5
Mazzone: We’re about two weeks away from the Pats game not having a line and Vegas not taking bets, a la college cupcakes playing a powerhouse. J.P. Losman is pleading with the coaching staff to open up the offense earlier in the game, so look for a couple more of their signature hail mary attempts to Lee Evans this week. They probably won’t work though. So, I’m not sure how the Bills are going to score, but I’m not ready to give 16.5 to any divisional opponent this early in the season.
Pick: Bills +16.5

Durden: This week's Andrew Meyer Game! Here are the Bills, just trying to innocently put together another woeful season, and now they have to head to Gillette and play the Belicheats? Do they really deserve that? What did they doooo?! Just one request for Bill Belichick: DON'T TASE THEM BRO!!!!
Pick: Patriots -16.5

Miami Dolphins @ New York Jets -3
Mazzone: Cam Cam is a lot like Tom Tom…except I’m not sure if he knows where he’s going, or how to get there. I know even the greatest head coaches had rocky starts and you have to be patient in a situation like this. But that doesn’t mean the poor clock management and questionable play calling isn’t excruciatingly frustrating. Ronnie Brown’s done well against the Jets in the past. For the love of God, give him the ball more than 11 times. If you’re not a Dolphins fan but have seen their games the past two weeks, it’s tough to bet on them right now. I’m forever biased and even though the Dolphins could cost me this competition in the end...
Pick: Miami Football Dolphins +3
(Plenty more coming on Saturday’s game preview with a little something extra for ‘Phin Fans)

Durden: Another "defensive struggle?" I expect Mazzone will have plenty to say about this one, so I'll keep it simple. Zach Thomas may not play Sunday, so I'll give the edge to the Jets. (Yes, that's a cop-out because we all know that no one ever knows what's going to happen in these games.) Plus, I owe Jerricho Cotchery and his hands for last week!
Pick: Jets -3

San Francisco 49ers @ Pittsburgh McBeams -9
Mazzone: I’ve always had a man crush on Frank Gore, and think the Niners are a year away from being dangerous in the NFC, but anyone who has watched their first two games knows that they probably deserve to be 0-2. They also just lost Manny Lawson for the season with a torn ACL. Meanwhile, Pittsburgh hasn’t even broken a sweat.
Pick: McBeams -9

Durden: Honeymoon's over for the 49ers. Vernon Davis is already voicing his displeasure with the offense, and they just lost a key defensive playmaker for the year, in Manny Lawson. This should really hurt their chances of disrupting Big Ben and the pass game, along with their chances of keeping this one too close. Look for the McBeams to roll, and I'll say it again, this should be a weekly theme until the Bengals and Ravens have a chance to say anything about it later this season.
Pick: Steelers -9

Arizona Cardinals @ Baltimore Ravens -8
Mazzone: I thought this line was going to be less than a touchdown and I was all set to take the Ravens. Since seeing it at eight, I’ve gone back and forth quite a bit. Ultimately, I’m thinking Leinart still makes too many questionable decisions for the Ravens defense to not capitalize more than once.
Pick: Ravens -8

Durden: I hate to say it, but while I felt good about the Ravens winning last week, I wouldn't have liked them by much more than a TD. Sure enough, the defense allowed it to become a nailbiter, before pulling it out late. I know the Ravens feel good about this game because they're going with they're going with their 2^nd best QB this week (see: Steve McNair). I feel good about them winning too, but the Cardinals are even better than the Jets on both sides of the ball. This one will be too close for comfort.
Pick: Cardinals +8

St. Louis Rams @ Tampa Bay Buccaneers -4
Mazzone: It’s going to take a lot more than one win at home over the Saints for me to buy into the Bucs. Despite the offensive line being a mess, the Rams destroyed the Niners on both sides of the ball. They were up 13-7 midway through the third quarter and marching easily down the field when Tory Holt had the ball knocked loose at the Niners seven yard line. In the most unfortunate of bounces, it headed toward the endzone, hopped just by Isaac Bruce (standing at the one), and out of the end zone for a 49ers touchback. On the ensuing possession, Frank Gore took off for a 43 yard TD run to give the Niners the lead. A Dante Hall fumbled punt late in the fourth was responsible for the game winning SF field goal. Despite all that, the Rams still had a chance to win when Jeff Wilkins came up inches short on a 56-yard FG with a minute to play (he had already nailed a 53 yarder earlier, with ease). Top if off with their underachieving star runningback throwing a tantrum on the sidelines, and I think the Rams are ready to let out their frustrations this week against the Bucs. Getting four points is just gravy.
Pick: Rams +4

Durden: What am I doing picking the team who lost its first 2 games at home? Call it a hunch, but Steven Jackson is due and this Rams team has to win at least a handful of games this year. This is one of them.
Pick: Rams +4

Jacksonville Jaguars @ Denver Broncos -3.5
Mazzone: Maybe I should be, but I’m not scared off by Denver seemingly lacking that killer instinct against inferior teams. The Jags won’t score more than 10 points without a defensive touchdown.
Pick: Broncos -3.5

Durden: Earlier this season, I alluded to the loss of Brad Meester as being noteworthy, yet I thought that Jacksonville would be able to get by. Well, his injury apparently was significant because the Jags have actually struggled mightily on the ground. Unfortunately for them, there's no reason to believe they'll be able to take advantage of a run defense that is seemingly the Broncos' only weakness. Their hope lies in the Broncos barely winning their first two games against weaker opponents, despite owning the best offense in the league, as well as the top pass defense. However, I see Denver finally putting together a complete victory and the Jags continuing to frustrate whoever gets frustrated when the Jags don't do well.
Pick: Broncos -3.5

Cincinnati Bengals @ Seattle Seahawks - 3.5
Mazzone: We’re about to find out what happens when two teams who tend to play at the level of their opponent play each other. The crazy Browns loss aside, I just can’t see Marvin Lewis in a boot/on crutches anymore and feel confident in the Bengals. Besides, the ‘Hawks defense is better, and they don’t lose at home (30-7 since 2002, including postseason).
Pick: Seahawks -3.5

Durden: Since last year, I've been waiting for Seattle's defense to really step forward and make a statement. It won't happen this Sunday against a potent Bengal offense, but combined with their notorious home field advantage, it should be able to do just enough. The Seahawk offense is better than anything the pathetic Cinci defense has seen this year, and that should make the difference in this one.
Pick: Seahawks -3.5

Cleveland Browns @ Oakland Raiders -3
Mazzone: No sense wasting the unlimited space I’m allotted on this blog to talk about this game, so…Remember this? Watch the whole thing and enjoy.
Pick: Raiders -3

Durden: When you're the Cleveland Browns, any game followed by a win is a trap game. Does anyone see the Browns going over .500? How about Derek Anderson putting together consecutive impressive outings?? Me neither. The Raider offense will be having some fun on Sunday.
Pick: Raiders -3

Carolina Panthers @ Atlanta Falcons +4
Mazzone: Going against my Texans, Durden slept with the Panthers last week and is lucky he didn’t come away with more than just a loss. But, the Falcons are no Texans and you can’t possibly expect Joey Heisman to play better now that Leftwich is looming.
Pick: Panthers -4

Durden: Yoey.
Pick: Panthers -4

New York Giants @ Washington Redskins -4
Mazzone: The Giants are obviously in shambles, the Redskins are rolling, and who knows how long Elisha Nelson Manning is gonna be able to stay in the game.
Pick: ‘Skins -4

Durden: Gutsy game last week by Eli, who played far better than I expected him to for the most part. The Giants just aren't catching many breaks this season, and I expect more of the same against the Redskins. If this game is close, it's only because Washington is overly conservative on offense again, despite having the weapons to open things up.
Pick: Redskins -4

Dallas Cowboys @ Chicago Bears -3
(Sunday Night Football)
Mazzone: With the Cowboys playing better right now and getting three points you’d think this would be a sure thing. But, at home on Sunday Night Football the Bears defense is going to be amped up, and Romo hasn’t gotten dirty yet this season. You already know how I feel about the Cowboys defense. I think the Bears will rattle Romo, force a couple turnovers, and then it’s just a matter of whether or not Rexy can keep from screwing it all up.
Pick: Da Bears -3

Durden: The Bears defense is solid, but the Cowboys offense will be up to the task on Sunday night. None of that will matter though, because it's going to be the same story all season for Dallas. If you can't exploit their secondary and make them pay for it, you're going to get outscored. Rex Grossman is good at getting outscored.
Pick: Cowboys +3

Tennessee Titans @ New Orleans Saints -5
(Monday Night Football)
Mazzone: I’m 0-2 when picking against Vince Young and I’m 0-2 picking the Saints and not respecting the Kurse’s impact on Drew Brees. Easy decision.
Pick: Vince Young’s +5

Durden: I'm hesitant to go against the Saints, because the last time I went against them on MNF (vs. Atlanta), I wasn't able to enjoy their feel-good win as it eliminated me from my own Survivor pool. It's payback time though, and who better to help me avenge my loss than my boy V Diddy?? I still have no explanation for what the Titans are doing but it's going to be the Rose Bowl all over again, with Young leading an inferior team to victory over Reggie Bush.
Pick: Titans +5

This week’s Double-Double features Durden going AGAINST his own team:

Durden: Colts -6, Cardinals +8

Mazzone: Broncos -3.5, Rams +4


Enjoy this week's winnings, and always believe in football...

Spread'em: the In-N-Out Challenge – Week 2

Thanks to Alex Smith ruining a Cardinals win and salvaging a push in the final game of week 1, Durden took the early lead with an 8-6-2 record while I came in at 7-7-2. We both hit our two team parlays.

Now it’s time for a week 2 that features a lot of large spreads, our first animal style parlay (two underdogs to win outright), Packers starters being underdogs against the Giants backups, God's linebacker struggling with injuries, and Romeo Crennel finding a new way to determine a starter…

Buffalo Bills @ Pittsburgh McBeams -9.5
Durden: As predicted, the Steelers came out flying. It actually turns out it was Bill Cowher's spit that messed with Big Ben's vision last year, and not his motorcycle accident, which could really explain everything. I'll give the Bills some credit for hanging tight with Denver, but a few more injuries have left them even thinner and they'll stand no chance against a Pittsburgh team that may not really be tested until well into the season.
Pick: Steelers -9.5

Mazzone: The Bills weren’t a very good football team to begin with, and then they suffered a bunch of injuries last week. Even so, they still managed to play Denver close and it will be interesting to see if the positive news on Kevin Everett’s condition will provide a bit of a boost. The Steelers haven’t played an actual NFL team yet, but are the Bills really that much more talented than the Browns?
Pick: McBeams -9.5

Cincinnati Bengals @ Cleveland Browns +7
Durden: Romeo Crennel said he would have to watch game film before deciding on his starter against the Bengals. Translation: Rock-Paper-Scissors Tournament! Last Crennel joke? Probably not. Cincinnati trounces the Clowns in a laugher, as they always do.
Pick: Bengals -7

Mazzone: “If you don’t have anything nice to say…”
Pick: Bengals -7

Indianapolis Colts @ Vince Young +7
Durden: I don't know what happened last week in Jacksonville, but I'm not buying it. The Colts must be tired of the Titans and Jags giving them fits by now, and they should be looking to avenge last year's loss. I know all you do is win games Vince, but the Colts have the speed on defense to match and plus, Peyton's king in Tennessee. He'll go off again in his annual return, and your team just plain sucks.
Pick: Colts -7

Mazzone: Well, I made two critical mistakes last week. I picked against the Super Bowl Champs and Peyton Manning, despite my better judgment. And I picked against the almighty Vince Young – who everyone said just…oh, you know by now. Well, I’ll try to atone for one of them this week. Despite the close games last year, I’m going with Peyton to make it rain on the Titans secondary…
Pick: Colts -7

Houston Texans @ Carolina Panthers - 6.5
Durden: Mazzone may be ready to crown their asses, but the Texans just won't be able to match up with the Panthers on either side of the ball. After this game, people are going to start to fall in love with the Panthers again, but don't let my handsome smile fool you Carolina. You'll understand what I'm getting at when you read the note I'll be leaving you Monday morning.
Pick: Panthers -6.5

Mazzone: No respect for my sleeper team with that line. NO RESPECT! Well Texans, looks like it’s us against the world… Some things I learned from their week 1 win: Andre Johnson will lead the NFL in receptions for the second straight year. The Chiefs would be fortunate to win 4 games. The Texan defense will be better than people think. Once the Texans beat the Panthers this week and move to 2-0 go take a look at the schedule and tell me if you don’t see 7 winnable games. Actually, I’ll save you the trouble (Indy x2, Atlanta, Miami, Jacksonville x2, Tennessee x2, San Diego, Oakland, New Orleans, Cleveland, Tampa Bay, Denver). If you listen closely, you might even hear some playoff talk heading into the final three weeks of the season (Denver, at Indy, Jacksonville).
Pick: Texans +6.5

San Francisco 49ers @ St. Louis Rams -3
Durden: I was surprised that the 49ers struggled as much as they did vs. the Cardinals. I was not as surprised that the Rams struggled with the Panthers, and Steven Jackson may end up leaving his fantasy owners (ahem) wondering WHAT IS GOING ON, again. I'll even settle for a 100yds and a touch which won't matter on Sunday. The 49ers as a whole, will bounce back nicely this week. The Rams? Maybe next week.
Pick: 49ers +3

Mazzone: I mentioned last week that I liked the 49ers here and I’m sticking with that. The Rams don’t have an answer for Frank Gore (I’ve penciled in 150 total yards and 2 TDs). Meanwhile, I like the defense Mike Nolan and company are putting together.
Pick: 49ers +3

Green Bay Packers @ New York Giants -1
Durden: If you watch enough commercials during football season, you learn that some men suffer from priapism. After this game, John Madden will have priapism, but that man will not be suffering. His beloved gunslinger's going to just have some fun on Sunday, like the warrior that he is, as a frustrating season for Giants fans continues.
Pick: Packers +1

Mazzone: Hey, how ‘bout that Brett Favre?! His team doesn’t score an offensive touchdown (reaching the red zone only once), and yet he still finds a way to will his team to victory over the Eagles with his gunslinger mentality and child-like love for the game. Simply incredible.
Pick: New York Giants B Team -1

Atlanta Falcons @ Jacksonville Jaguars -10.5
Durden: I still haven't figured out what happened in Jacksonville, and that confusion's been compounded by this spread. I was stuck watching a lot of the Falcons last week and can confirm that they're an unmitigated disaster, but I'm taking the points until we know what's up with the Jags.
Pick: Falcons +10.5

Mazzone: The first of several double digit lines this week, and the most confusing. This is the same Jacksonville team that was favored by 6.5 at home against the Vince Youngs… and lost, right? Fortunately for the Jags, Joey Harrington is the anti Vince Young. He just loses football games. I like Jacksonville to commit to the run, get an early lead, and force Harrington to make some plays. Yea, I know there’s no record of Joey Harrington ever “making some plays”, but I can’t help but think this line is a little too high.
Pick: Falcons +10.5

New Orleans Saints @ Tampa Bay Buccaneers +3.5
Durden: It seems as if this is the only spread that was really impacted by last week's scores. The Bucs are another bad team hit with injuries, and they wouldn't have stood a chance even without the injuries. I know I should probably show a little bit more respect for the Kurse, but the Saints will be out to show they're better than what they showed in the season opener.
Pick: Saints -3.5

Mazzone: This is tough, because there’s very little excuse for the Saints to not bounce back and manhandle the Bucs. Under normal circumstances, I’d be willing to bet the house that USC bought Reggie Bush on the Saints winning easily, but Keith’s starting Drew Brees and the Kurse appears to be working its usual voodoo… Tough one, but I’m going to hope the Kurse finds a new target.
Pick: Saints -3.5

Minnesota @ Detroit -3
Durden: The Lions won't be able to run on the Vikings, so it's a good thing they probably weren't going to bother with that anyway. Detroit's going to air it out all day and Tarvaris Jackson doesn't have the ability, or the weapons, to keep up. Calvin for ROY!
Pick: Detroit -3

Mazzone: In a battle between the top ROY candidates, I expect Peterson to take the award, but Calvin to come out with the W. The Lions offense isn’t as inept as the Falcons, so at some point in this game Tarvaris Jackson will have to show us if he’s capable of keeping the Vikings in games with his arm. I’m not sure he is.
Pick: Detroit -3

Dallas @ Miami +4
Durden: I hear a ton about the Dolphins from Mazzone, and yet I still feel like I don't know anything about them. What I do know is that their offense probably won't be able to take advantage of the Cowboys' D, and their defense is in for a long day if it gave up 400 yards to the 'Skins.
Pick: Cowboys -4

Mazzone: I always pick the Dolphins to win/cover, but there’s usually one time each season where I get an inexplicable over confidence about a game the Dolphins probably shouldn’t win. Last season when week 9 rolled around I was adamant that the Dolphins would go into Chicago and take care of business. They did, 31-13. In 2005, the Dolphins opened as heavy underdogs against the Broncos. I was not only dead set on the Dolphins (with Gus Frerotte at the helm) winning the game outright, I even backed up the claim by picking them in our Survivor pool. They won, 34-10. In 2004, during a hopeless season, a fellow fin fan was resigned to a blow out against the Patsies in week 15, but I would have none of it. Sure the Patriots were 12-1 and Miami was 2-11, but it was Monday Night Football, in the Orange jersey’s, they couldn’t lose – and they didn’t. It ended with the memorable Jim Bates/Arturo Freeman chest bump. Maybe this game isn’t quite on the scale of lopsidedness as the previous 3 mentioned, but they are underdogs at home and don’t match up well at all on paper. But, what can I say, I feel like it’s already in the bag… (someday I might tell you all the stuff I've been wrong about, but don't hold your breath)
Pick: Dolphins +4

Seattle Seahawks @ Arizona Cardinals +3
Durden: I have to admit, I was excited about this being my Upset Special until I saw the spread was only 3. It pains me to go against The Kurse yet again, but Matt Leinart was not very convincing on Monday night. In typical Seahawk fashion, they'll keep this one closer than it should be, but they'll pull it out in the end.
Pick: Seahawks -3

Mazzone:
Good Business: Trading for a Super Bowl MVP to be your #1 WR.
Bad Business: Throwing to him three times for zero completions in Week 1.
Good Business: Getting your MVP RB back healthy after an injury riddled ‘06
Bad Business: Said RB showing up to practice this week with a brace on his injured left hand.
Pick: Cardinals +3

New York Jets @ Baltimore Ravens - No Line (injuries)
Durden: I'm still not ready to talk about the *(&##?!& Ravens right now, but look for some Ravens features coming in the near future. Unless of course, they don't pound this Jets team like they should (despite Clemens in place of a one-legged Chad)…
Pick: Ravens

Mazzone: Chad Pennington, Kellen Clemens, Roger Clemens – it doesn’t matter. There are too many injuries for there to be a line on this game right now, but I like the Ravens to win comfortably even if Homicidal Ray and Mcnair don't suit up. The Demetrius watch should start this week for the rest of the football world, so keep an eye out.
Pick: Ravens

Oakland Raiders @ Denver Broncos -10
Durden: Travis Henry went OFF on Sunday. I heard he did well against the Bills too, but rumor has it that he made the Mile High Club look like a monastery on the flight back to Denver. Jay Cutler will outplay whoever his counterpart is this week, but hey, at least the Raiders finally found a 3^rd string QB. It's a little late in the season to be touching up your roster though, isn't it?
Pick: Broncos -10

Mazzone: I’ve gone back and forth on this game all day. In the end, even though Cutler’s inconsistency and turnovers last week worry me, I’m still leaning toward the Broncos. The secondary is among the best and they have a lot of weapons on offense. So, as long as Cutler can hold onto the ball they should win comfortably. As a side note, I loved Tatum Bell telling the Black Hole to go home last week after his TD finished off a game that was already essentially over and Bell standing there as he got showered with beer, spit, and God knows what else from the Raider faithful.
Pick: Broncos -10

Kansas City Chiefs @ Chicago Bears - 12.5
Durden: This line may seem high, but the Chiefs are a joke. No punchline, they're just truly pathetic and they're going to have to accelerate LJ's workload if they want to stand a chance on Sunday.
Pick: Bears -12.5

Mazzone: This is the first of several times I plan on giving 10+ points to the Chiefs this year.
Pick: Bears -12.5

San Diego Chargers @ New England Patriots -3.5
(Sunday Night Football)
Durden: Has anyone seen Pink? Whether NBC smartened up, or Bill Belichick needed a new "secretary" and stole her away, it sure is nice to have Pink out of our lives, isn't it? Count on the Patriots coming out angry on SNF and robbing the Chargers of a win.
Pick: Pats -3.5 points and -1 cameraman

Mazzone: A lot going on here: Revenge game for the Bolts, LDT’s comments, Patriots trying to recover from cheatgate. New England always wins these types games, and it always pisses me off. I fully expect this week to be no different, but I wouldn’t feel right if I wasn’t alongside the rest of the nation rooting for the Chargers and their resident cheater (Shawn Merriman)...
Pick: Chargers +3.5

Washington Redskins @ Philadelphia Eagles -7
(Monday Night Football)
Durden: I heard that part of the contest Mike Greenberg won to be in the MNF booth last week, was that he also got to set the spreads this week, which really explains why they make absolutely no sense. Maybe I'm just setting myself up with a good excuse for the lousy week I'm about to have, but I do feel good about this one and the Eagles offense showing up this game.
Pick: Eagles -7

Mazzone: Much to the city of Philadelphia’s dismay, the punishment levied to New England did not result in the Patriots forfeiting their Super Bowl win over the Iggles. On the bright side, they should get back on track to meeting their high expectations with McNabb and B-Rabbit having big games on Monday Night Football. The loudest cheer of the night will undoubtedly go to Reno Mahe. The loss of Jansen is a huge one for the Redskins. If you’re a Skins fan, or squeamish, you probably shouldn’t click here, but you will anyway.
Pick: E-A-G-L-E-S (- 7)

Double Double:
Durden: Patriots (-3.5), Packers (+1)

Mazzone: To quote Mike McDermott from Rounders, “You can’t lose what you don’t put in the middle… but you can’t win much either.” Sure you could play it safe and tease the Saints and Bengals for a few bucks, or you could go for it… Animal style - Texans/Dolphins, tell them to keep the points - you won’t need them. At least, those are the things I would say if I condoned gambling…

As always…believe in football.