Week 10 Picks: Spread 'em the In-N-Out Challenge

There was no shortage of entertainment from the National Football League last week. Points all over the place, records being set, big plays, fun story lines, and the Super Bowl actually lived up to its hype (with Peyton proving he still can't win the big one).

Oddly enough, the best week of the football season didn't involve the Rams, Dolphins or Bears. I was over .500 for the third consecutive week and gained 2 games on Durden (66-57-7). I'm now trailing by 8 cheeseburgers.

This week gives us two things I never thought we'd see. 1) Durden and I have an unprecedented 12 games picked differently - which probably doesn't bode well for me considering our current records. 2) Later in the column, I'll present to you the black Trent Dilfer, though you can probably guess who it is.

Before we get to the picks it should be noted that Durden phoned his picks in this week, literally - via drunken text message from Atlantic City. He'll be back in full capacity next week, assuming he makes it home alive. I'm taking all sorts of prop bets on Durden's weekend experience, so email me if you want in.

Alright, onto the picks.

Click Clack.


STL @ NO -12
Mazzone: I should have known better than to count out any team in the NFC, even after starting 0-4. There’s no reason to think the Saints can’t win the pathetic NFC South and there’s no reason they shouldn’t roll over the Rams – who continue to lose key players to injury at an alarming rate. The latest to go down: Leonard Little (done for the season), Richie Incognito (done for the season), Steven Jackson for the 2nd time (done until he’s tackled again).

Also, if you’re a Saints fan that’s trying to talk yourself into this being a real turnaround rather than a product of the schedule, you can look no further than the offensive line and Drew Brees. In the first four losses, Brees had 11 turnovers, 929 yards, and 1 touchdown. In the last four wins, the Saints are averaging over 104 yards rushing a game, Brees has just 2 turnovers, 1246 yards, 11 TDs, and has only been sacked once – gaudy numbers regardless of the opponents.
Pick: Saints -12
Durden Pick: Rams +12


BUF @ MIA +3
Mazzone: For some reason, Cleo Lemon is still starting, but now he’s splitting reps with John Beck in practice, so hopefully Beck will get the nod soon. After picking apart the Bengals, the Bills should feel confident heading into Miami to face an equally atrocious defense. Marshawn Lynch’s career game was overshadowed by some guy in Minnesota, but Miami is known for making things easy on the RBs, so Lynch could do it again. Lee Evans typically destroys the Dolphins as well, and J.P. Losman knows how to throw the ball in his general direction more often than not.

The positive news for the Dolphins is that the Bills offensive line doesn’t allow many sacks which is good because the Dolphins don’t have a pass rush anyway so they can just abandon it all together and drop everyone in coverage on passing downs. Buffalo is a Cowboys miracle comeback away from 5-3 and being taken seriously in the playoff race, that’s disturbing and it’ll be nice for the Dolphins to put them back in their place with the rest of the AFC East teams not named the Patriots.
Pick: Miami Football Dolphins +3
Durden Pick: Bills -3


JAC @ TEN -4
Mazzone: These two teams are nearly identical in terms of philosophy. They’re going to try and beat you running the ball and playing defense while the passing game is almost non-existent. If all goes according to plan, this game should be low scoring and, barring overtime, it should finish long before the rest of the early games. If the Titans win, they should be able to book their playoff tickets as the rest of their schedule is pretty favorable.

I feel like anything not associated with the Patriots has flown under the radar this season, like how great the Titans and Steelers defenses have been. They may not be exactly on par with the greatest ever, but also not terribly far from the 2000 Ravens. Look for yourself and let’s get the “Vince Young is the black Trent Dilfer” bandwagon fired up.

Titans 2007 projected totals are in blue, 2000 Raven totals are in purple, Steelers 2007 projections are in black:

Passing Yards Allowed: 3276, 3175, 2588
Rushing Yards Allowed: 1056, 970, 1216
Interceptions: 26, 23, 14
Sacks: 44, 35, 50
Record: 12-4, 12-4 (Super Bowl Champs), 12-4

Here’s where the Ravens separate themselves:
Fumble Recovered: 14, 26, 18
Points: 248, 165 (least in NFL history), 196

Still impressive, and some year the Titans might even get Pac Man Jones back to boost the defense and special teams.

Just for fun:
Vince Young 2007 Projections, 2000 Dilfer:
Completion %: 61.6, 59.3
Interceptions: 16, 11
Total TDs: 10, 12
Fumbles/Lost: 8/2, 8/2
Total Yards (rushing + passing) per game: 145.7, 140.3
Sacks: 20, 23

Oh right, this is a picks column. Let’s go with a repeat of week 1 - 13-10 in favor of the black Trent Dilfer, Jags barely cover.
Pick: Jags +4
Durden Pick: Titans -4


CLE @ PIT -9.5
Mazzone: Aside from the Pats is there another team that would be favored by 9.5 or more two weeks in a row against the next best teams in their division? As mentioned above, the Steelers defense has been outstanding, but Ben Roethlisberger is not Trent Dilfer or Vince Young. Nobody will give it serious thought until it rolls around and the Steelers are 10-2 or 9-3, but there’s reason to believe they can give New England a run for their money in week 14. We talked about the D, and they are currently outscoring their opponents by about 16 a game, whereas NE is at 23 a game. The Steelers are a few garbage time “eff you” TDs away from being right with ‘em.

As for this week, if you hadn’t guessed already, I think the Steelers should win comfortably.
Pick: McBeams -9.5
Durden Pick: Steelers -9.5


PHI @ WAS -3
Mazzone: McNabb usually comes out on fire after he throws a pity party for himself (as he did earlier this week) and since he’s in a more friendly environment than the Linc, I’m going with the Eagles.
Pick: Eagles +3
Durden Pick: Redskins -3


ATL @ CAR -4
Mazzone: Let’s be honest, you’re only betting on this game if you routinely bet on every single game, and even then you’re still not going to watch any of it. DeShaun Foster destroys the Falcons, so it shouldn’t matter if Matt Moore (who?) or Vinny Testaverde are at QB. If David Carr plays though… go with the Falcons. Wow, what a trio, my head is spinning just thinking about those guys.

Anyway, yes, I just endorsed Matt Moore over David Carr and I’m pretty sure I’ve never seen Matt Moore throw a football…and now I’m picking his team to cover against Joey Harrington, and I feel confident about it.
Pick: Panthers -4
Durden Pick: Atlanta +4


DEN @ KC -3
Mazzone: It’s tough not to root for a guy like Priest Holmes, especially when it’s so easy to root against Larry Johnson. With Priest coming back this week, I’m reminded of my favorite Denver/KC game in recent memory. It wasn’t really Denver/KC so much as Quentin Griffin against Priest Holmes.

They were ripping off ridiculous run after ridiculous run and I had both of them starting in a fantasy league that awarded each weekly winner with a big screen TV from Best Buy. I was giddy throughout the game, only to come up just short of winning as I didn’t have the top QB for the week by just a couple points.

Of course, that was week 1, and I never sniffed the top of the standings the rest of the way. I finally had to settle for buying a big screen on my own 3 years later. It’s still fun, but not as much as if it were free. In remembrance of that game, I’m going with Denver 34 – Kansas City 24, with Priest and Selvyn Young combining for 5 tds and 300+ rushing yards.
Pick: Broncos +3
Durden Pick: KC -3


MIN @ GB -6
Mazzone: I guess you could say this about a few teams, but Minnesota is a serviceable quarterback (Donovan McNabb next year?) away from being a legitimate playoff team, and that’s despite wasting a pick on Troy Williamson. We know about Adrian Peterson, the offensive line, and the run defense, but Sidney Rice is legit too (you’d see that if they had a QB). The pass defense has been among the worst in yards allowed, but that’s partially because teams know they can’t run so they’re throwing 41 times a game against the Vikes, that’s tops in the NFL. They have some talent in the secondary and are middle of the pack in yards allowed per passing attempt.

That being said, Favre is playing in the house that Favre built with his smile, gunslinger mentality and child-like love for the game, so he should be able to do to them what Philip Rivers couldn’t. Fortunately for me, I don’t care about any of that and am blinded by my season-long man crush on Adrian Peterson where I drafted him in my fantasy league and then touted him as rookie of the year before he took a hand-off (everyone forgets Adrian Peterson was NFL ready three years ago). And now I’m swiping this from the guys at Kissing Suzy Kolber because I couldn't say it better myself.

KSK Reader Gavin B. writes:

I nominate the following name changes:

Adrian Peterson is no longer Purple Jesus, he's just plain old Jesus.

Jesus (the "son of God" Jesus) is now to be called "Carpenter Jesus."

Make it so.

Pick: Vikings +6
Durden Pick: Green Bay -6


CIN @ BAL -4
Mazzone: The Bengals are terrible, but the offense still looks good on paper at least. The Ravens defense is no longer good enough to shut teams out but the offense is still awful and banged up to the point where I’m not sure they can score 14 points. Give me the points, I guess.
Pick: Bengals +4
Durden Pick: Ravens -4


DET @ ARI -1
Mazzone: Everyone probably loves Detroit here, but I feel good about a let-down game from the Lions, combined with a bounce back game for the Cards. If that comes through, then the Lions might be hard pressed to reach Kitna’s 10 win prognostication.

The remaining schedule is about as tough as an NFC North team’s schedule can be (NYG, GB, @MIN, DAL, @SD, KC, @GB). Four wins out of that group could be difficult, but I doubt the Lions are aware of that, so I expect them to downplay the Cardinals and come out flat after their demolition of the Broncos. The good news for Detroit is that there’s no way in hell that they’ll NEED 10 wins to make the postseason in the NFC.
Pick: Cardinals -1
Durden Pick: Lions +1


CHI @ OAK +3.5
Mazzone: The Bears give up 131 rushing yards per game and the Raiders are fourth in the league with 140 rushing yards per game (behind Adrian Peterson, Willie Parker, and whoever the Titans feel like handing it off to that week). It doesn’t take a rocket scientist to know what Lane Kiffin should plan to do. Which is good, because Lovie Smith is no rocket scientist. The bottom line is that I still can’t believe the Bears are giving points on the road to any team that’s not winless.
Pick: Raiders +3.5
Durden Pick: Bears -3.5


DAL @ NYG +1
Mazzone: I guess it’s time to put my reader’s money where my mouth is. In the week 4 picks, I took the Giants over the Eagles and mentioned 6-2 going into the bye was a possibility. In week 7, I upped the ante saying they’d be one of the top two teams in the NFC and you’d hear some realistic Super Bowl talk in the near future.

The Giants two losses came to the Packers and Cowboys, arguably the best teams in the NFC, but that was back when the Giants were in shambles and there was a possibility of having a Derrick Ward/Jared Lorenzen backfield for several weeks. This is a different Giants team, one that’s certainly more dangerous than the Packers. Unfortunately for the G-Men, the Cowboys aren’t exactly ripe for the picking. The Giants are going to have to earn every bit of this one.
Pick: Giants +1
Durden Pick: Cowboys -1


IND @ SD +3.5
Mazzone: I was all set to pick the Chargers here, and then Luis Castillo had to go and get hurt and the Colts had to go and lose to the Patriots. Ah, screw it, I’m still going with the Chargers. Might even have to snag a ticket and walk across the street to enjoy it in person. The Chargers are significantly better at home than on the road and they match up pretty well with the Colts, assuming Rivers doesn’t duplicate the debacle that took place in Minnesota. This is a much bigger game for San Diego than Indianapolis, let's see if it plays out as such or if the Colts are jerks and take out their frustrations from a week ago on the poor city ravaged by wild fires.
Pick: Chargers +3.5
Durden Pick: Colts -3.5


SF @ SEA -10
Mazzone: I can’t think of a single reason why the schedule makers thought this was a good idea for prime time. Oh well, I’m really looking forward to that Niners/Rams matchup next week – the Niners should be too since they’re going to lose this one 37-6.
Pick: Seahawks -10
Durden Pick: Seahawks -10

Week 9 Picks: Spread 'em the In-N-Out Challenge

Last week we learned that both Vince Young (6/14 42 yards, 7 rushes - 11 yards, 1 fumble) AND Quinn Gray (7/16 100 yards, TD, 3 rushes - 0 yards, 1 fumble) just win football games! We also saw both of your TPS writers come in above .500 for the second consecutive week.

Unfortunately, my 7-6 wasn’t even close to enough to keep pace with Durden’s 10-3. His season record is now at a very respectable 60-49-7 and he has a comfortable 10 cheeseburger lead over me.

The good news for me: The Dolphins can’t lose this week and since it’s the biggest event in the history of the entire world, *the Patriots/Colts game will be worth 10 games in the win column

*Note – only applicable if the Colts cover.

Someone told Bill Cowher about the bounty that the guys at KSK put on Tom Brady, hopefully defenders were listening too.

With Miami on a bye, in honor of Durden coming off a 10-3 week, and Baltimore in an important prime time matchup, we're donning Raven purple and black this week.

Alright, let's do it.

Click clack.

WAS @ NYJ +3.5
Mazzone: Not only did the Jets lose Vilma, but last week we saw why it took so long for the Mangina to give up on Pennington. Kellen Clemens against the Bills: 5/12, 67 yards, 2 INTs. It’s not getting any easier.
Pick: Redskins -3.5

Durden: I was appalled that the Patriots would pull Brady from last week’s game, so they could insert Cassel and further embarrass Washington. I really think it’s time to question New England’s sportsmanship if they’re going to continue with those kind of antics. As for the Redskins, I still don’t think they’re a bad football team. I’m willing to forget last week, and while it’s possible that they’re not very good, we KNOW the Jets are awful.
Pick: Redskins -3.5


SF @ ATL -3
Mazzone: Week 8 I mentioned how the Niners should be winless and then went ahead and picked them anyway. What kind of role model would I be to all the kids coming to TPS for gambling advice if I didn’t teach them to learn from their mistakes?
Pick: Falcons -3

Durden: The Falcons seem to be awfully shocked that Grady Jackson was released. Really though? If I worked with a guy who was fat, lazy and suing our company, I don’t know that I’d be very shocked if he got fired. However, while there are obvious concerns that the team may have quit on Joey and Petrino, I’m still going to go with the Falcons. They’re coming off a bye, and more importantly, the 49ers have been that bad.
Pick: Falcons -3

ARI @ TB -3.5
Mazzone: If I wasn’t starting Earnest Graham and Anquan Boldin on my fantasy team this week I’d be perfectly ok with this game not happening. Tampa’s been winning at home, the Cards usually lose on the road, it’s not rocket science but I’m ready to be done with this game so it works for me. In unrelated news, Lance Armstrong is dating Ashley Olsen?! What?! Doesn’t he get depressed when he sees the twins together? Oh right, like you weren’t thinking of your own one testicle joke.
Pick: Bucs -3.5

Durden: I will not pretend to have either of these teams figured out. It’s hard not to like the Cards though, fresh and healthier off the bye, while the Bucs continue to crash back down to Earth. I think these are two teams at/around .500, heading in opposite directions, that will both end up at .500 Told you I haven’t figured them out.
Pick: Cardinals +3.5


GB @ KC -2.5
Mazzone: What the hell is this? I hate when I see a line like this, I feel like Vegas knows the game is fixed. The 6-1 Packers are underdogs against the 4-3 Chiefs that have allowed more points than they scored and have one mildly impressive win to their resume (the Chargers were a different team back then, but I'll count it anyway). I’m going to be so annoyed when the Chiefs win.
Pick: Packers +2.5

Durden: Good news Packer haters! I’ve been pretty accurate about GB this season, even predicting the spin on last week’s victory, with ESPN literally praising Favre’s “magic” in their Tuesday morning headline. After all, his 82yd throw-and-catch to himself for the game-winning TD in OT was mighty impressive. However, this week I actually feel good about the Packers slipping up. The Chiefs are at home, off the bye, and the Pack is simply due to not get all the breaks in a game.

Finally, the winner of this week’s Worst Brett Favre Slurping Award goes to ESPN’s John Clayton. It was a tough week with the Packers being on MNF, and the award would have gone to Tony Kornheiser for his pre-game introduction, but he was disqualified because it was so long that it wouldn’t fit on this site. Therefore, Clayton prevailed over his media brethren with the following: “For those wondering about Favre, the gunslinger is still packing.” Um, thanks John. Pick: Chiefs -2.5


CIN @ BUF PK
Mazzone: As excited as I was that the Bills finally completed their go-to play that I outlined earlier in the year (Losman blind heave to Lee Evans, hope he comes down with it and out runs everyone), I still can’t back J.P. Losman’s impeachment of Trent Edwards.
Pick: Bengals PK

Durden: I can’t believe it’s come to this for the Bengals. The only thing that surprised me more than this game being a pick’em, was that I then started to give it thought, before actually settling on the Bills. TJ Houshmandzadeh sums it up pretty well:

Trailing 14-3 to the Steelers last week, the Bengals drove to a 4th and 1 from just inside the 2yd line with 2:16 left in the first half. They needed about 2 feet. They looked like they were going to go for it and then Lewis called time-out to talk about it. Then he sent in the field goal unit. The players were understandably shocked. "It's like telling a kid he can have some candy and then saying, 'Um, not right now,' " wide receiver T.J. Houshmandzadeh said. “That's why they're 5-2 and we're 2-5. Good teams put it in the end zone. Teams like us kick field goals."

Meanwhile, the Bills players are getting what they want, which is Losman back in at QB. Ordinarily, I could care less, but I’m excited that he’s back after they tried to bench him to avoid paying him bonuses. It has all the makings of something Buffalo will rally around, for the win.
Pick: Bills PK


SD @ MIN +7
Mazzone: America’s Team is on fire right now and not even Major Dad benching Tarvaris Jackson, feeding the ball to Purple Jesus, or signing Jeff George could stop them.
Pick: Chargers -7

Durden: We’ve told you the Vikings can’t stop the pass. You really think they’re going to stop Vincent Jackson and company from coming into town and doing some serious damage? Let’s be serious. Plus, Minnesota still hasn’t convinced people they can score, or even utilize AD properly. This spread should be higher.
Pick: Chargers -7


DEN @ DET -3
Mazzone: A heartbreaker on Monday Night Favre for the Broncos, but they shouldn’t have expected anything less. Cutler makes just enough plays each game to make you think he could be really good. That should be no different against a Lions pass defense giving up roughly 260 yards a game in the air. Of course, the flip side is that Jay The Snake makes his fair share of awful decisions/passes that leave you shaking your head. I was all set to pick the Lions thanks to winning the turnover battle, at least until Kitna APOLOGIZED for being funny and having a hilarious Halloween costume. I bet Jay Cutler has balls, at least.
Pick: Broncos +3

Durden: I’ve liked this Lions team, and that was before I found out they had a sense of humor. No, I’m not referring to them pouring Gatorade on Rod Marinelli after they beat the Bucs last week (true story, by the way). I’m talking about Jon Kitna’s Halloween costume this year. All jokes aside, I made up my mind a few weeks ago and decided I wouldn’t be fooled by the Broncos any longer. In fact, I’d even recommend the Lions to those of you still alive in Survivor/Survival pools, as most of you have probably burned the Chargers by now.
Pick: Lions -3


CAR @ TEN -4
Mazzone: The Panthers haven’t lost on the road this season. Vince Young hasn’t lost…ever.
Pick: Vince Young -4

Durden: This one’s a no-brainer, and it has nothing to do with Vince Young. Not only are the Panthers unsettled on who their QB is, but once they make up their mind, it’s either going to be David Carr or Vinny Testaverde. Making matters worse, if Carolina decides to force the run, they’ll be doing so against the league’s top-rated run defense. Somehow, the Panthers have lost every game at home, and are undefeated on the road. I can’t imagine that disturbing truth will continue to hold true after Sunday.
Pick: Titans -4


JAC @ NO -3.5
Mazzone: This’ll be a good test for the Saints offense to see if they are actually back or were just preying on weak teams. I mentioned how the Jags D was playing well, but hadn’t been forcing turnovers. Last week, they were able to intercept Jeff Garcia three times at critical moments to fend off the Bucs and overcome the handicap that is Quinn Gray. Should be a nice little game, and I’m excited for the continued re-emergence of Hofstra, even though he annihilated my fantasy team last week.
Pick: Saints -3.5

Durden: We let you down picking against the Jags in week 8, but the Saints came through as they continued to look good against bad teams. I maintain that they’ll trick people into getting excited, and this could actually be their most difficult game left on the schedule seriously, look. I really don’t know what to make of this game, so I’m going to pick against Quinn Gray on the road again. I also don’t think Brees will give Jacksonville the game this week, as Jeff Garcia did last week. Beware of the Saints though, any success this season will be more a function of their schedule than anything else.
Pick: Saints -3.5


SEA @ CLE -1
Mazzone: I can’t believe the NFL scheduled so many other games the same day as the Super Bowl. Seahawks get their starting receivers back and I think that, combined with the Browns lousy defense will be enough to jump start the offense.
Pick: Seahawks +1

Durden: I was initially inclined to pick the Browns here, but a couple of things swayed me. First, the Browns haven’t beaten a truly talented team yet. Also, an already bad Browns defense will be without Ted Washington and D’Qwell Jackson, two of their better defenders. Finally, and most importantly, the Seahawks always seem to perform opposite how I expect them to. Let’s face it, Seattle is going to back into the playoffs again, but they still need a few more wins before they can do so. This will be one of them.
Pick: Seahawks +1


HOU @ OAK -3
Mazzone: Even the “fans” of these teams are trying to get the game blacked out so they can watch Pats/Colts. Schaub is still woozy from last week, but Sage Rosenfels is actually the perfect fit for the Texans right now. Since the offense is made up of 2nd and 3rd stringers he should have great chemistry with them. There’s not really a convincing argument for either team, so two things swayed me. One, last week two bad teams played and I took the home team and the three points, and lost. Two, the Texans have the Nigerian Jedi - Adimchinobe Wan Kenobi Echemandu.
Pick: Texans +3

Durden: The game that no one wants to watch! In Houston, people are writing and pleading that the Patriots/Colts game be shown. In Oakland, people are hoping enough people don’t go to the game, so that it will be blacked out locally and they can watch the Game of the Century as well. What? No one wants to watch Sage Rosenfels vs Josh McCown?! I bet that would change if they advertised it as the Gus Johnson game. Anyways, I want to get to that Patriots game, so give me the Raiders game.
Pick: Raiders -3


NE @ IND +6
Mazzone: You’ve heard all there is to hear about this game by now. Maybe I’m being stubborn, or letting my hatred for the Pats get the best of me, but I’m going with the undefeated, defending Super Bowl Champions… at home…plus 6 points.
Pick: Colts +6

Durden: Here it is, The Game of the Millennium of the Week AKA The Apocalypse. Funny thing is, I’ve been saying for weeks that the Patriots will beat everyone by at least 10 points, yet I’m still eagerly anticipating this game. As a Brady fantasy owner, I really can’t complain that they’re blatantly disrespecting each of their opponents, but I did tell Mazzone last week that it was a matter of time before someone went after Brady. Fortunately for the Patriots, they have 3 of the league’s dirtiest players on their roster, in Rodney Harrison, Mike Vrabel and Vincent Wilfork. Back to this game, I have to admit that I actually underestimated the Colts coming into this season, but I still don’t think they’re in the same class as the 2007 Patriots. As Coach Reilly once said: "It's not worth winning, if you can't win BIG." So…
Pick: Patriots -6

DAL @ PHI +3
Mazzone: While we all certainly wish flex scheduling was in effect and the NE/Indy game was moved to this slot, at least we still get a fun matchup on Sunday night. These games are always entertaining, especially in front of the raucous Philly crowd. It’d be nice to see the McNabb from early last season show up for this one in prime time, but nothing suggests he will so I’ve gotta go with the better team.
Pick: Cowboys -3

Durden: A judge who sentenced Philadelphia Eagles coach Andy Reid's sons to jail on Thursday likened the coach's home to "a drug emporium" and questioned whether his adult sons should live there. I know Reid isn’t around a lot, but do you really need your parents to tell you not to smuggle drugs up your butt into jail? I don’t even know what the thought process could’ve been like, but it should’ve ended immediately upon introducing his anus into the equation. Speaking of assholes, you just know TO is looking to go off on Sunday Night Football, and I fully expect him to break out the Eagle in the endzone.
Pick: Cowboys -3


BAL @ PIT -9
Mazzone: I’m gonna step aside for Durden on this one as I'm sure he'll have plenty to say…
Pick: Ravens +9

Durden: As you should know by now, I don’t shy away from being objective about the Ravens. I’ve readily admitted when I’ve thought they’ve been too strongly favored, but this is one of those rare times, when I actually think they’re not being given enough credit. I know they’re only 4-3 and not better than their record, but this is the game they’ve had circled on their calendar since the season began. They went as far as to rest multiple players vs Buffalo before the Bye Week (which backfired as I feared), so that they would be as fresh as possible.

Basically, this game is the season if the Ravens are going to even pretend they have a shot at making some noise this season. I know it’s only Week 9, but their remaining schedule is absolutely brutal, and they’ve all rallied around this game. I have no idea where the points are going to come from since Stevie Wonder will be back under center, but I do have faith that they can contain Pittsburgh’s offense. In case you’ve forgotten, this is what happened the last time the Ravens went to Heinz Field .

Do the Steelers deserve to be favored? Absolutely. But the Steelers are also in for a fight, and unless they completely blow the Ravens out, they’re not covering. I guarantee that Little Ben hasn’t forgotten what the Ravens did to him last year (as you’ll see below), but who knows, maybe he’ll play an entire game against Baltimore for the first time in his career. It’s only his 7th career game vs the Ravens, but it’s about time he stick around to complete a losing effort.
Pick: Ravens +9

Week 8 Spread 'em: In-N-Out Challenge

First off, apologies for the lack of posts in recent weeks. My desktop is fried and won't be fixed for another week or so. I'm stuck working off my crappy laptop in the meantime, and since I associate that with my real job I try to stay off it as much as possible. But there is plenty of stuff in the works for when I get the desktop back up and running again.

Durden and I are, for the first time this season, both coming off respectable weeks. He was 9-5 and I was 8-6 and also correctly predicted that a kicker would kick 8 field goals last week. Unfortunately, I went with Matt Stover and not Rob Bironas.

Week 8 has some interesting story lines, but no one cares about those. Next week, the Colts beat the Pats and the following week the Chargers beat the Colts and the '72 Dolphins get to pop some champagne. I guess we'll pick games this week anyway.

click clack...


Cleveland @ St. Louis +3
Mazzone: I can't believe I actually said, "Wow, the Browns are only giving three to the Rams?!" Which screams of a Rams victory, but I'm not listening.
Pick: Browns -3

Durden: First, a note from a recent ESPN journal entry of Steven Jackson’s: Have a great week, everyone. And hold tight to me in your leagues. You may be seeing me sooner than you expected. (Great! Because I was expecting an effective Steven Jackson in Week 1, but to accelerate that expectation by negative 7 weeks would be AWESOME!)

And now, always take the Browns when the opposing coach is talking like this: "Maybe I'll go call the coach at Rutgers and get some of his plays. Maybe that's what I need to do. ... That's a great idea. That's what you ought to do. You ought to watch TV and just get plays, and we'll do that." -St. Louis Rams coach Scott Linehan when asked by a radio reporter at yesterday's press conference if he would call trick plays to jump start his slumping offense.
Pick: Browns -3


Detroit @ Chicago -5
Mazzone: Meh, the Bears have no business giving five points to a team that's ahead of them in the standings, and 2-0 in the division already. But, after Philadelphia cheated and turned off Brian Griese's headset, he said "Eff You", called his own plays and brought Chicago the length of the field to victory… on the road. You can't bet against that man this week! At least wait 'til the Lions pick him off three times before turning on him again.
Pick: Bears -5

Durden: I was caught off guard last week by the Lions getting away from the pass, but it made sense as the Bucs are far worse at defending the run, and it worked out. Sure, it helped that Jon Kitna’s dad hooked them up with some key fumbles and a field goal miss, but hey, that’s how God rolls. No such worries this week though, because the Bears have struggled against both the pass and the run, in large part due to injuries. Therefore, I expect the Lions to revert back to Tank Johnson football – guns a blazin’, baby.
Pick: Lions +5

Indy @ Carolina +7
Mazzone: There's no such thing as a trap game if David Carr is the opposing team's QB. I think the Colts will be looking ahead to the Patriots, so they may only win by 13. In related news, how many people have to talk about the Colts flying under the radar, before they aren't flying under the radar anymore? It's always great when every media outlet is a week late on a potential story like that and all the stories come out within a couple days of each other. This just in, the defending champs are still great!
Pick: Colts -7

Durden: A couple of things you could look at are the Panthers coming off a bye, and the Colts playing on short rest. Then when you’re done, you can stop wasting your time. There’s no way the NFL is letting Vinny or Carr come remotely close to ruining Pats @ Colts next week.
Pick: Colts -7


NYG @ Miami (London) +10
Mazzone: Ah, I remember when I heard about the London game, it being a "home" game for the Dolphins and how annoyed I was at that. "This better not cost them a playoff spot!" The good old days… Anyway, I'd feel better about the Dolphins chances if giant robotic Jason Taylor lined up on defense for them. Even though you could make a legitimate argument for not throwing John Beck to the wolves with this mess of a team, I'd like to see him after the bye week regardless of whether or not the Giants D-line eats Cle Lemon this week.
Pick: Miami +10

Durden: I get what the NFL is doing here, it’s just stupid. As if their season hadn’t been enough, Miami now loses a home game to London, and people over there are forced to watch them play. Whatever happens in London, stays in London! Speaking of London, here’s Channing Crowder joking around about it – or is he? Sadly though, I think any wild card introduced to a match-up can only benefit the Dolphins, but a decimated defense and no Ronnie Brown is too much to overlook.
Pick: Giants +10


Oakland @ Tennessee -7.5
Mazzone: The Titans are coming off their first win in franchise history without Vince Young at QB, so that should give them some added confidence in case he can't make it through the full game this week. I expect a defensive struggle, and the Raiders to keep it close.
Pick: Raiders +7.5

Durden: I’m pretty sure this is the most surprising line of the week. The Titans just proved they’re woefully inept in the red zone, and almost let Sage Rosenfels complete a 25 point, 4th quarter comeback. These Raiders may not be good, but they’ve managed to stay in most games.
Pick: Raiders +7.5



Philadelphia @ Minnesota +1
Mazzone: The two Eagles wins came against awful pass defenses (Lions ranked 30th, Jets ranked 26 th). Minnesota is dead last in defending the pass and they only have one thing to game plan against on offense. Sure, Adrian Peterson is an animal and his touches might be increased with Chester Taylor being bothered by injuries, but the Eagles are solid against the run (ranked 8 th) and Minnesota, barring defensive touchdowns, can't beat them any other way as long as Tarvaris Jackson is throwing the football.
Pick: Eagles -1

Durden: The few things I’ve read about this game suggest that the Vikings should go with Kelly Holcomb at QB, because he’s very familiar with the Eagles. It’s not bad logic, except that it means the Eagles are also very familiar with Kelly and whatever few strengths he may actually have. Truth is, I just don’t have a great feel for this game but I have a hard time believing the Eagles are a 2-5 team.
Pick: Eagles -1


Pittsburgh @ Cincy +3.5
Mazzone: It took a couple weeks, but I finally believe that the Bengals are actually as bad as they've shown us so far. Even so, their schedule is pretty weak the rest of the way, and it wouldn't be shocking if they gave false hope to their fans and went on a little winning streak. But it won't start this week.
Pick: Steelers -3.5

Durden: Maybe it was just the “brutal” 35 degree weather, but Big Gay Ben was TERRIBLE on Sunday night before the Steelers realized he really just shouldn’t be throwing further than 10 yards down the field. He was lucky to only have 2 of his passes picked off in the first half, yet those likely made the difference against the Broncos, as Pittsburgh was not too bad otherwise. I think they’ll bounce back just fine against a bad, banged up Bengals team that appears to be a mess right now. Finally, I wanted to show you all that classy, civilized Steeler fans do exist. Unfortunately, this is all I could find.
Pick: Steelers -3.5

Buffalo @ NYJ -3
Mazzone: Um, I haven't picked many home teams yet. So, there's that…
Pick: Jets -3

Durden: Maybe this would’ve been a better London game, since the Giants are actually playoff bound. Anyways, now that the Jets are 1-6, my guess is that teams will stop videotaping them from the sidelines. Fortunately for them, I think that and the home field advantage should be enough to double their win total for the season.
Pick: Jets -3


Jacksonville @ Tampa Bay -4
Mazzone: The Jacksonville defense is excellent, but their inability to hit the playmaker button and force turnovers will continue to haunt them. A short field would significantly help and offense that will be without David Garrard and possibly MJD. While I don't think Quinn Gray can possibly be as bad as he was in relief last week (and Tampa is certainly not Indy), I'm still not ready to take him on the road.
Pick: Bucs -4

Durden: Before the Garrard injury, these teams were almost much mirror images of each other, with their D and ultra-conservative offenses keeping them in games. Not surprisingly, the AFC team in this case is better, but not when you replace Garrard with Quinn Gray. Words can not describe how bad that guy was against the Colts, and anyone that saw him play, knows what I’m talking about. Gray and a banged up MJD should equal bad times for the Jags.
Pick: Bucs -4


New Orleans @ San Fran +3
Mazzone: A matchup of two 2-4 teams (truth be told, the Niners should be 0-6 as anyone who saw their two wins can tell you). One was America's Team just a year ago, and the other was the favorite sleeper amongst the "experts" this season. Alex Smith is back at the helm for San Fran, but he may be without Darrell Jackson due to a quad injury. It's certainly more exciting to take the sexier Saints, but the truth is both these teams are bad, so I'm going with the home team and the points.
Pick: Niners +3

Durden: The Niners at home off the bye are enticing, but Alex Smith and Frank Gore less than 100% behind a line that’s been bad, do not inspire much confidence. Maybe the Saints should’ve looked better than they did against Atlanta, but I think they’ll win their 3rd in a row and flirt with playoff contention for a few weeks before they miss out.
Pick: Saints -3



Houston @ San Diego -11
Mazzone: It was tough to see Sage Rosenfels and the Texans "ROBBED" (oooooh) of a miraculous comeback win by Bironas and the Titans last week. Another loss, more injuries to deal with and now they have to face the new America's Team. By now, we all know that if there's anything that can save southern California and lift the people's spirits in the wake of the latest wildfires, it's professional football and the San Diego Super Chargers.
Pick: America's Team -11

Durden: Katrina Jr.? It’s unfortunate what’s going on out there, and it simply does not help that George Bush doesn’t care about white people. Yes, I know Norv Turner already has a big enough obstacle heading into games (himself), and this probably didn’t help much. However, I’m still taking them in my own Survivor Pool, and I feel confident that they’ll take care of business. Pick: Chargers -11


Washington @ New England -16.5
Mazzone: I don’t think the Pats are susceptible to a “trap game”, but the Redskin defense should be good enough to cover.
Pick: Redskins +16.5

Durden: The Patriots have only beaten a team by less than 20 once all season. The Redskins may be the most respectable opponent they’ll face to date, but Washington’s secondary did not finish the game as healthy as it started, and that’s enough for me to pick the Pats to cover yet again.
Pick: Patriots -16.5


Green Bay @ Denver -3
Mazzone: Brett Farve is fresh off a bye week where I’m sure he took home the Fed Ex air player of the week award and won another spot on the horse trailer for his performance watching the Colts/Jags game. The defeat of the Steelers was almost an impressive win for the Broncos before they fell apart and had to eke out a last second victory. I’m still not sure what to make of them, but I know I’m sick of a severely average Packers team winning games, so…
Pick: Denver -3

Durden: Anyone else suspect that John Madden will conveniently overcome his fear of flying to be at this game for his beloved Brett? I hate to say this, but Madden or not, I think we all may be in store for some of that “magic” on Monday. Of course, by magic, I just mean I think the Packers will beat a Denver team who hasn’t put together consecutive good games yet. We all know how the media will spin it on Tuesday morning though…
Pick: Packers +3

Week 7 Picks: Spread'em Challenge

A late night and long drive back to San Diego from the Home Depot Center last night is responsible for the picks being late, so let's cut right to the chase.

Last week, Durden reclaimed the three games I had stolen from him and upped his lead back to six. Onto this weeks picks.

Click clack.

Arizona @ Washington -8
Mazzone: Durden always jokes about Leinart and Warner being held together by paper clips and rubber bands. Now it's true. "Cardinals QB Kurt Warner has settled on a combination of tape and a brace to hold his injured elbow in place and says he's feeling good about being able to play Sunday at Washington." I think the ‘Skins win, but with both teams trying to run out the clock from the opening kickoff I think the Cards could keep it close.
Pick: Cardinals +8

Durden: You know the saying about how DBs would be WRs, if only they could catch? Well that would’ve applied to the Redskins last week, except their WRs weren’t much better. Those that watched know that Washington should’ve beaten the Packers. Will they bounce back? Will they overlook the Cards in anticipation of the Pats next week? These questions, an offensive line decimated by injuries, no Shawn Springs, and God giving Arizona back both Warner and Boldin, make me think the win won’t come so easy for Washington on Sunday.
Pick: Cardinals +8

Atlanta @ New Orleans -8.5
Mazzone: You can’t feel good about either pick here. Each team has only put together one good game. But of the Falcons 5 losses, only two have been by more than 7 and one of those was to a significantly better Giants team last week. Falcons tend to play bad teams close, Saints haven’t proven they don’t completely suck yet. So, give me the points.
Pick: Falcons +8.5

Durden: I was all set to take the points, but the Falcons had to go and start Byron Fatwich. Between that, and the Dolphins trading Chris Chambers, it appears the race for the #1 pick in the 2008 NFL Draft is officially on (leave it to the Rams to rush Bulger back). Anyway, I’ll pick the Saints coming back against the Fatwiches on short rest, especially since they helped make me look good last week.
Pick: Saints -8.5

Baltimore @ Buffalo +3
Mazzone: Trent Edwards for starting quarterback! Even with him at the helm, Matt Stover’s Ravens should win this one comfortably behind 8 field goals.
Pick: Ravens -3

Durden: It would appear that Willis is a prophet and DID know what he was talkin’ bout! As reviled as he is in Buffalo for those dickish comments (among others), it appears the Bills are now looking into his suggestion. Too bad they never looked into actually getting the man some help, but unfortunately for him, his current offense isn’t much better. I made it a point to detail the Ravens’ problems on their offensive line, and if you watched Sunday, you saw why. Boller and McGahee took the beating of their lives against the Rams, and there’s no reason to expect much better on Sunday.

Injuries are really piling up for Baltimore, and we’ll find out how they handle it on Sunday. All signs are pointing towards them being without the following players on Sunday: the entire OL, Pryce, Ray, McAlister, Heap & McNair. While they’re trying to dance around the issue, it’s pretty clear they’re hoping to get past Buffalo and get these guys three weeks of rest in time for the Pittsburgh game, as well as a brutal remaining schedule in general. I do think the Ravens can leave Buffalo a win, but these type of strategies have a way of biting teams in the ass. I’ll take the good guys with fingers crossed.
Pick: Ravens -3


Minnesota @ Dallas -9.5
Mazzone: TPS has been talking up Purple Jesus since the getgo. After last week, that won't be necessary anymore. Unfortunately, we don't know if it's enough for Major Dad to force feed him the ball or continue to give the chairman, Chester Taylor, the bulk of the touches. Regardless, there's no way Dallas lets Adrian Peterson do what he did to the Bears last week, and Tarvaris Jackson is still pathetic.
Pick: Cowboys -9.5

Durden: I gotta stick with what we’ve been preaching as far as Dallas is concerned, which is: if you can’t beat them through the air, you’re d-u-n. Props to AD for his historic game last week, but it’ll be interesting to see how he follows that up against a Cowboy team who should come back strong after losing to New England. Of course, given the Vikings’ awful pass “attack,” he may not get a chance to do much. Dallas may not get much out of MBIII this game, but look for AT LEAST 3 Romo TDs, 2 TO TDs and 2 Tarvaris INTs.
Pick: Cowboys -9.5


New England @ Miami +17
Mazzone: I've spent all week trying to talk myself into this one. I'm not quite there yet, but by Sunday I should be able to convince myself that the Dolphins will pull off the upset of the century, of the week.
Pick: Ronnie Brown +17

Durden: Here are a couple of quotes that help to explain why/how dismal this season has been for the Dolphins.

- "The season is not half over," first-year coach Cam Cameron said. "My experience is that when you get completely sick and tired of the feeling we have right now, then things will change." (just let us know when you guys are COMPLETELY sick and tired, Cam Cam)

- "It's another step in the right direction, to be able to beat a team that everybody says you're supposed to beat," Cleveland coach Romeo Crennel said. "I talked to the guys all during the week about not underestimating these guys or taking them lightly. To be able to come out and get this win against a team that you're supposed to beat, that's a plus. You've got to be able to do that in this league." (when Romeo Crennel doesn’t need a coin flip to figure out that the Browns are SUPPOSED to beat you, something’s going horribly wrong)

Back to this game though, I’m not picking against the Patriots until they slip up. You were warned that last week’s Patriots game was overhyped, and sure enough, it was. Remember, it’s only a big game in October if Derek Jeter’s hitting into double plays.
Pick: Patriots -17

San Francisco @ Giants -9
Mazzone: San Francisco gives up a lot of sacks. The Giants sack the quarterback a lot. I may not be a football expert, but I know that means Trent Dilfer is in for a long day. I said 6-2 before the bye wasn't out of the question after the slow start by the Giants. It's looking likely, and by season's end they'll be one of the top two teams in the NFC, the media will catch on and we'll hear some Super Bowl contender talk for Eli and company. And it won't be unrealistic.
Pick: Giants -9

Durden: Anyone else tired of this season’s Willis Reed? Plaxico Burress said after Monday night's game that his ankle was so sore on Sunday that he feared he might sit out against Atlanta. It’s been the same story for weeks now, yet he’s still OK to high step his way into the endzone when given the chance. Either Plax is fibbing, or his will alone at this point is good enough to cover the spread. Fortunately for the Giants, it won’t matter with Dilfer behind center for the 49ers.
Pick: Giants -9


Tampa Bay @ Detroit -2.5
Mazzone: I've given zero respect to the Bucs all season, and I can't think of a good reason to start now. Roy Williams should find the end zone twice this week.
Pick: Lions -2.5

Durden: "I learned from Bud Grant that every coach needs three things -- a loyal dog, a faithful wife and a heck of a quarterback. Finally, I've got a guy giving me good, consistent play.'' -Jon Gruden, apparently with a loose interpretation of the word “wife”

Look, I love red-headed QBs as much as the next guy, but come on. The Bucs aren’t that good and we know this. Mike Martz off the bye and at home, should lead to a nice day for the Lions’ offense, as well as Calvin hopefully reminding us that there’s another stud offensive rookie.
Pick: Lions -2.5

Tennessee @ Houston +1.5
Mazzone: Slowly, Houston is slowly getting its offense back from injury. Meanwhile, Vince Young may be out and the Titans have never won a game without Vince Young.
Pick: Texans +1.5

Durden: Not much to say about this game, and hopefully I’ll see even less of it on Sunday. The Titans D is for real, and it’s hard to take the Texans too seriously without Andre, not to mention they made the Jags’ offense look like New England’s last week. Houston’s going to have to do a better job of getting to the QB than they’ve been doing recently to have a shot.
Pick: Titans -1.5

Kansas City @ Oakland -3
Mazzone: If Herman Edwards keeps this up, we may have to start giving him credit for being more than just a motivator and time management specialist. Since I’m not ready to do that…
Pick: Raiders -3

Durden: If the Chargers were in any other AFC Division, there probably would’ve been reason for concern at some point. Luckily for them they’re the Seahawks of the AFC, which means they can (and probably will) all but beg a division rival to take the division, to no avail. Are you excited for this matchup yet? I think I’m going with the team who has the better offense and defense, but I know I’m definitely going with the points.
Pick: Chiefs +3


New York Jets @ Cincy -6
Mazzone: Even if I didn't loathe the Jets, I can't pick them to cover with Pennington bear being prominently involved. Big day in store for Chad Johnson – the second best receiver…on his own team.
Pick: Bengals -6

Durden: Teams must be dying to play the Jets at this point. If there was somehow any doubt that their trip to the playoffs last year was a joke, it’s certainly been removed by now. You guys still aren’t looking to bench or trade Pennington, really??

I’m taking the Bengals, and want to take this opportunity to recommend this article. Definitely check it out.
Pick: Bengals -6

Chicago @ Philly -5
Mazzone: Talk about two unimpressive teams. The Eagles did not look good against the lowly Jets last week, and the Bears couldn’t figure out how to contain the Vikings only weapon – even choosing to kick off to him with the game on the line. East coast bias has me inclined to believe the Eagles are the more likely of the two to “still be good”.
Pick: Eagles -5

Durden: Was anyone else surprised by Philly not putting a beating on the Jets last week? There’s no shame in a 9 point win on the road, and Akers did miss 2 FGs, but I really thought the Eagles’ offense would be good for more than just one TD. I suppose it also helped that Thomas Jones was able to single-handedly keep the Time of Possession close. Whatever it was, I’m going to go with Philly again and continue picking against the Bears. Hopefully we’ll hear some good O-VER-RA-TED chants coming out of the Linc, because people need to stop slurping on Chicago.
Pick: Eagles -5

St. Louis @ Seatlle -9
Mazzone: So far, I’ve had a hard time figuring out when the good Seattle team is going to show up instead of the bad one. Last week, I realized it’s quite possible the good one has been a figment of my imagination this whole time.
Pick: Rams +9

Durden: I’ve made it well known that I hate the Seahawks. They’re impossible to figure out, and insist on underachieving. I was all set to pick against them for the rest of the season until last Sunday afternoon, when I saw the most pathetic thing I’ve seen in a long time. Losing 22-3 late in the 4th quarter to the Ravens, and with Marc Bulger warming up, Gus Frerotte throws yet another incomplete pass on first down. Frerotte starts to come off, but instead of putting in Bulger, St. Louis opts to put in a WR under center. As I’m getting excited to see what kind of trick play they have in store, the Rams kneel out the clock. What?!?!

Scott Linehan, you are a female dog.
Pick: Seahawks -9


Pittsburgh @ Denver +3.5
Mazzone: The Broncos have no business keeping this one close, but there’s only one ROCKtober! Catch the fever!
Pick: Denver +3.5

Durden: Easy money. There’s just very little to like about this Denver team, and I’m more inclined to respect the Steelers off the bye than the Broncos. I expect Above-Average Speed Willie Parker to run wild for 150+ yards, but struggle to score a TD, as per usual. No worries for Pittsburgh though, there are plenty of vultures on that offense.
Pick: Steelers -3.5

Indy @ Jax +3
Mazzone: This is a much bigger game for the Jags than the Colts and there should be some extra energy on prime time. David Garrard is being called a great "game manager", which is one of the most retarded phrases in football, but I'll rant about that some other time. Truth is, he's just been a solid quarterback. MJD finally has the running game going a bit, and the Jags are looking legit. If Peyton and the Colts didn't have two weeks to prepare for this one I'd like the Jags a lot more, but even with a loss here I don't think this is the last you'll hear from them.
Pick: Colts -3

Durden: This week, on “Everyone Forgets This But…,” it’s time to remind readers that everyone forgets this but, the Colts are a different animal at home. To be fair though, while it hasn’t been easy, Indy’s already beaten divisional rivals on the road twice which is something they didn’t do once last season. However, Jacksonville is looking legit and forget about Marvin Harrison being iffy, Tony Ugoh is the real X-factor. If he’s banged up, it could be just enough to slow down the Colts and give the Jags a serious shot to win. Maybe I’m just excited to be excited about a MNF game again, but give me the points.
Pick: Jaguars +3

Spread'em: the In-N-Out Challenge – Week 2

Thanks to Alex Smith ruining a Cardinals win and salvaging a push in the final game of week 1, Durden took the early lead with an 8-6-2 record while I came in at 7-7-2. We both hit our two team parlays.

Now it’s time for a week 2 that features a lot of large spreads, our first animal style parlay (two underdogs to win outright), Packers starters being underdogs against the Giants backups, God's linebacker struggling with injuries, and Romeo Crennel finding a new way to determine a starter…

Buffalo Bills @ Pittsburgh McBeams -9.5
Durden: As predicted, the Steelers came out flying. It actually turns out it was Bill Cowher's spit that messed with Big Ben's vision last year, and not his motorcycle accident, which could really explain everything. I'll give the Bills some credit for hanging tight with Denver, but a few more injuries have left them even thinner and they'll stand no chance against a Pittsburgh team that may not really be tested until well into the season.
Pick: Steelers -9.5

Mazzone: The Bills weren’t a very good football team to begin with, and then they suffered a bunch of injuries last week. Even so, they still managed to play Denver close and it will be interesting to see if the positive news on Kevin Everett’s condition will provide a bit of a boost. The Steelers haven’t played an actual NFL team yet, but are the Bills really that much more talented than the Browns?
Pick: McBeams -9.5

Cincinnati Bengals @ Cleveland Browns +7
Durden: Romeo Crennel said he would have to watch game film before deciding on his starter against the Bengals. Translation: Rock-Paper-Scissors Tournament! Last Crennel joke? Probably not. Cincinnati trounces the Clowns in a laugher, as they always do.
Pick: Bengals -7

Mazzone: “If you don’t have anything nice to say…”
Pick: Bengals -7

Indianapolis Colts @ Vince Young +7
Durden: I don't know what happened last week in Jacksonville, but I'm not buying it. The Colts must be tired of the Titans and Jags giving them fits by now, and they should be looking to avenge last year's loss. I know all you do is win games Vince, but the Colts have the speed on defense to match and plus, Peyton's king in Tennessee. He'll go off again in his annual return, and your team just plain sucks.
Pick: Colts -7

Mazzone: Well, I made two critical mistakes last week. I picked against the Super Bowl Champs and Peyton Manning, despite my better judgment. And I picked against the almighty Vince Young – who everyone said just…oh, you know by now. Well, I’ll try to atone for one of them this week. Despite the close games last year, I’m going with Peyton to make it rain on the Titans secondary…
Pick: Colts -7

Houston Texans @ Carolina Panthers - 6.5
Durden: Mazzone may be ready to crown their asses, but the Texans just won't be able to match up with the Panthers on either side of the ball. After this game, people are going to start to fall in love with the Panthers again, but don't let my handsome smile fool you Carolina. You'll understand what I'm getting at when you read the note I'll be leaving you Monday morning.
Pick: Panthers -6.5

Mazzone: No respect for my sleeper team with that line. NO RESPECT! Well Texans, looks like it’s us against the world… Some things I learned from their week 1 win: Andre Johnson will lead the NFL in receptions for the second straight year. The Chiefs would be fortunate to win 4 games. The Texan defense will be better than people think. Once the Texans beat the Panthers this week and move to 2-0 go take a look at the schedule and tell me if you don’t see 7 winnable games. Actually, I’ll save you the trouble (Indy x2, Atlanta, Miami, Jacksonville x2, Tennessee x2, San Diego, Oakland, New Orleans, Cleveland, Tampa Bay, Denver). If you listen closely, you might even hear some playoff talk heading into the final three weeks of the season (Denver, at Indy, Jacksonville).
Pick: Texans +6.5

San Francisco 49ers @ St. Louis Rams -3
Durden: I was surprised that the 49ers struggled as much as they did vs. the Cardinals. I was not as surprised that the Rams struggled with the Panthers, and Steven Jackson may end up leaving his fantasy owners (ahem) wondering WHAT IS GOING ON, again. I'll even settle for a 100yds and a touch which won't matter on Sunday. The 49ers as a whole, will bounce back nicely this week. The Rams? Maybe next week.
Pick: 49ers +3

Mazzone: I mentioned last week that I liked the 49ers here and I’m sticking with that. The Rams don’t have an answer for Frank Gore (I’ve penciled in 150 total yards and 2 TDs). Meanwhile, I like the defense Mike Nolan and company are putting together.
Pick: 49ers +3

Green Bay Packers @ New York Giants -1
Durden: If you watch enough commercials during football season, you learn that some men suffer from priapism. After this game, John Madden will have priapism, but that man will not be suffering. His beloved gunslinger's going to just have some fun on Sunday, like the warrior that he is, as a frustrating season for Giants fans continues.
Pick: Packers +1

Mazzone: Hey, how ‘bout that Brett Favre?! His team doesn’t score an offensive touchdown (reaching the red zone only once), and yet he still finds a way to will his team to victory over the Eagles with his gunslinger mentality and child-like love for the game. Simply incredible.
Pick: New York Giants B Team -1

Atlanta Falcons @ Jacksonville Jaguars -10.5
Durden: I still haven't figured out what happened in Jacksonville, and that confusion's been compounded by this spread. I was stuck watching a lot of the Falcons last week and can confirm that they're an unmitigated disaster, but I'm taking the points until we know what's up with the Jags.
Pick: Falcons +10.5

Mazzone: The first of several double digit lines this week, and the most confusing. This is the same Jacksonville team that was favored by 6.5 at home against the Vince Youngs… and lost, right? Fortunately for the Jags, Joey Harrington is the anti Vince Young. He just loses football games. I like Jacksonville to commit to the run, get an early lead, and force Harrington to make some plays. Yea, I know there’s no record of Joey Harrington ever “making some plays”, but I can’t help but think this line is a little too high.
Pick: Falcons +10.5

New Orleans Saints @ Tampa Bay Buccaneers +3.5
Durden: It seems as if this is the only spread that was really impacted by last week's scores. The Bucs are another bad team hit with injuries, and they wouldn't have stood a chance even without the injuries. I know I should probably show a little bit more respect for the Kurse, but the Saints will be out to show they're better than what they showed in the season opener.
Pick: Saints -3.5

Mazzone: This is tough, because there’s very little excuse for the Saints to not bounce back and manhandle the Bucs. Under normal circumstances, I’d be willing to bet the house that USC bought Reggie Bush on the Saints winning easily, but Keith’s starting Drew Brees and the Kurse appears to be working its usual voodoo… Tough one, but I’m going to hope the Kurse finds a new target.
Pick: Saints -3.5

Minnesota @ Detroit -3
Durden: The Lions won't be able to run on the Vikings, so it's a good thing they probably weren't going to bother with that anyway. Detroit's going to air it out all day and Tarvaris Jackson doesn't have the ability, or the weapons, to keep up. Calvin for ROY!
Pick: Detroit -3

Mazzone: In a battle between the top ROY candidates, I expect Peterson to take the award, but Calvin to come out with the W. The Lions offense isn’t as inept as the Falcons, so at some point in this game Tarvaris Jackson will have to show us if he’s capable of keeping the Vikings in games with his arm. I’m not sure he is.
Pick: Detroit -3

Dallas @ Miami +4
Durden: I hear a ton about the Dolphins from Mazzone, and yet I still feel like I don't know anything about them. What I do know is that their offense probably won't be able to take advantage of the Cowboys' D, and their defense is in for a long day if it gave up 400 yards to the 'Skins.
Pick: Cowboys -4

Mazzone: I always pick the Dolphins to win/cover, but there’s usually one time each season where I get an inexplicable over confidence about a game the Dolphins probably shouldn’t win. Last season when week 9 rolled around I was adamant that the Dolphins would go into Chicago and take care of business. They did, 31-13. In 2005, the Dolphins opened as heavy underdogs against the Broncos. I was not only dead set on the Dolphins (with Gus Frerotte at the helm) winning the game outright, I even backed up the claim by picking them in our Survivor pool. They won, 34-10. In 2004, during a hopeless season, a fellow fin fan was resigned to a blow out against the Patsies in week 15, but I would have none of it. Sure the Patriots were 12-1 and Miami was 2-11, but it was Monday Night Football, in the Orange jersey’s, they couldn’t lose – and they didn’t. It ended with the memorable Jim Bates/Arturo Freeman chest bump. Maybe this game isn’t quite on the scale of lopsidedness as the previous 3 mentioned, but they are underdogs at home and don’t match up well at all on paper. But, what can I say, I feel like it’s already in the bag… (someday I might tell you all the stuff I've been wrong about, but don't hold your breath)
Pick: Dolphins +4

Seattle Seahawks @ Arizona Cardinals +3
Durden: I have to admit, I was excited about this being my Upset Special until I saw the spread was only 3. It pains me to go against The Kurse yet again, but Matt Leinart was not very convincing on Monday night. In typical Seahawk fashion, they'll keep this one closer than it should be, but they'll pull it out in the end.
Pick: Seahawks -3

Mazzone:
Good Business: Trading for a Super Bowl MVP to be your #1 WR.
Bad Business: Throwing to him three times for zero completions in Week 1.
Good Business: Getting your MVP RB back healthy after an injury riddled ‘06
Bad Business: Said RB showing up to practice this week with a brace on his injured left hand.
Pick: Cardinals +3

New York Jets @ Baltimore Ravens - No Line (injuries)
Durden: I'm still not ready to talk about the *(&##?!& Ravens right now, but look for some Ravens features coming in the near future. Unless of course, they don't pound this Jets team like they should (despite Clemens in place of a one-legged Chad)…
Pick: Ravens

Mazzone: Chad Pennington, Kellen Clemens, Roger Clemens – it doesn’t matter. There are too many injuries for there to be a line on this game right now, but I like the Ravens to win comfortably even if Homicidal Ray and Mcnair don't suit up. The Demetrius watch should start this week for the rest of the football world, so keep an eye out.
Pick: Ravens

Oakland Raiders @ Denver Broncos -10
Durden: Travis Henry went OFF on Sunday. I heard he did well against the Bills too, but rumor has it that he made the Mile High Club look like a monastery on the flight back to Denver. Jay Cutler will outplay whoever his counterpart is this week, but hey, at least the Raiders finally found a 3^rd string QB. It's a little late in the season to be touching up your roster though, isn't it?
Pick: Broncos -10

Mazzone: I’ve gone back and forth on this game all day. In the end, even though Cutler’s inconsistency and turnovers last week worry me, I’m still leaning toward the Broncos. The secondary is among the best and they have a lot of weapons on offense. So, as long as Cutler can hold onto the ball they should win comfortably. As a side note, I loved Tatum Bell telling the Black Hole to go home last week after his TD finished off a game that was already essentially over and Bell standing there as he got showered with beer, spit, and God knows what else from the Raider faithful.
Pick: Broncos -10

Kansas City Chiefs @ Chicago Bears - 12.5
Durden: This line may seem high, but the Chiefs are a joke. No punchline, they're just truly pathetic and they're going to have to accelerate LJ's workload if they want to stand a chance on Sunday.
Pick: Bears -12.5

Mazzone: This is the first of several times I plan on giving 10+ points to the Chiefs this year.
Pick: Bears -12.5

San Diego Chargers @ New England Patriots -3.5
(Sunday Night Football)
Durden: Has anyone seen Pink? Whether NBC smartened up, or Bill Belichick needed a new "secretary" and stole her away, it sure is nice to have Pink out of our lives, isn't it? Count on the Patriots coming out angry on SNF and robbing the Chargers of a win.
Pick: Pats -3.5 points and -1 cameraman

Mazzone: A lot going on here: Revenge game for the Bolts, LDT’s comments, Patriots trying to recover from cheatgate. New England always wins these types games, and it always pisses me off. I fully expect this week to be no different, but I wouldn’t feel right if I wasn’t alongside the rest of the nation rooting for the Chargers and their resident cheater (Shawn Merriman)...
Pick: Chargers +3.5

Washington Redskins @ Philadelphia Eagles -7
(Monday Night Football)
Durden: I heard that part of the contest Mike Greenberg won to be in the MNF booth last week, was that he also got to set the spreads this week, which really explains why they make absolutely no sense. Maybe I'm just setting myself up with a good excuse for the lousy week I'm about to have, but I do feel good about this one and the Eagles offense showing up this game.
Pick: Eagles -7

Mazzone: Much to the city of Philadelphia’s dismay, the punishment levied to New England did not result in the Patriots forfeiting their Super Bowl win over the Iggles. On the bright side, they should get back on track to meeting their high expectations with McNabb and B-Rabbit having big games on Monday Night Football. The loudest cheer of the night will undoubtedly go to Reno Mahe. The loss of Jansen is a huge one for the Redskins. If you’re a Skins fan, or squeamish, you probably shouldn’t click here, but you will anyway.
Pick: E-A-G-L-E-S (- 7)

Double Double:
Durden: Patriots (-3.5), Packers (+1)

Mazzone: To quote Mike McDermott from Rounders, “You can’t lose what you don’t put in the middle… but you can’t win much either.” Sure you could play it safe and tease the Saints and Bengals for a few bucks, or you could go for it… Animal style - Texans/Dolphins, tell them to keep the points - you won’t need them. At least, those are the things I would say if I condoned gambling…

As always…believe in football.

Spread'em: the In-N-Out Challenge

Ahhhhhhh, welcome back football.

First off, we’re not experts (we just play them on the Internet) and our advice should be taken no more seriously than Romeo Crennel takes his starting QB competition.

The challenge was created when I (Mazzone) moved from East coast to West coast and with the help of a friend back east (Durden) learned of the brilliance that is In-N-Out Burger. The person who wins this year long competition will receive an In-N-Out burger for each game they win by, paid for by the loser.


Don’t kill us too much for not picking your favorite team to win and cover the spread every week.

Enjoy the commentary, enjoy the games, and keep coming back for more.

(right click on the hyperlinks and open in a new window for additional entertainment throughout this blog)

New Orleans Saints @ Indianapolis Colts (-5.5)
Mazzone: Heck of a way to open the season. There’s really no explanation for picking against the defending Super Bowl champs at home when they have one of the greatest quarterbacks to ever play the game. So I’ll just say – I like watching Reggie Bush. Pick: Saints +5.5

Durden: Will Archie Manning attend with a paper bag over his head? More importantly, will this be the beginning of what I think should be a down year for the Colts? I'd feel even more confident about that if their division wasn't a joke, but in the meantime, look for the Saints to prevail in a shootout. Pick: Saints +5.5

Kansas City Chiefs @ Houston Texans (-3)
Mazzone: Last year the Texans were the “money” team for a coworker of mine (Teddy Ballgame). Ballgame’s either a little slow, or way ahead of his time - depending on who you ask. I think he was a year early on the Texans. I like Ahman Green to have a real nice year, Schaub to be more than serviceable with just enough weapons to make the Texans dangerous. .500 or better isn’t out of the question. Pick: Texans -3

Durden: This week's Gus Johnson Special! I expect both of these teams to be equally woeful on offense and defense this year, so unless Jac. Jones takes a kickoff to the house, I don't want to see a second of this game on Sunday. I'll give the edge to the Chiefs in an ugly one, but here's to Our Buddy Gus calling some better games this year. Pick: Chiefs +3

Denver Broncos @ Buffalo Bills (+3.5)
Mazzone: I think Champ Bailey is going to make it tough for the Bills to complete their signature play of Losman chucking it deep and hoping Lee Evans outruns everyone and catches it. Travis Henry always feels like he has something to prove, even moreso against the Bills. Expect him to celebrate a Broncos win by fathering his 10^th child from 10 different women.
Pick: Broncos -3.5

Durden: The Bills lost Clements, McGahee, Spikes and Fletcher, while overspending on a new Offensive Line. I'm typically inclined to ignore the Bills, but it's nice of them to make it easy on me. Only thing that could do the Broncos in is Cutler coming out impatient, but I think the Mastermind will have him prepared. Pick: Broncos -3.5

Pittsburgh Steelers @ Cleveland Browns (+4.5)
Mazzone: The Browns and their fans have high hopes for the future with Brady Quinn, Joe Thomas, Kamerion Wimbley, Braylon Edwards and the Soldier. The Steelers and their fans have high hopes for this game, because they’re playing the Browns. “Fast” Willie Parker and “Smiling” Hines Ward in a romp.
Pick: Steelers -4.5

Durden: There aren't two teams I hate more in the NFL. Unfortunately, I think Tomlin was the right hire for the McBeams and he should have them ready to come out flying on both sides of the ball. Crennel, on the other hand, resorts to coin tosses to determine his starting QB. Yes, really. 'Nuff said. Pick: Steelers -4.5

Tennessee Titans @ Jacksonville Jaguars (-6.5)
Mazzone: Committing to David Garrard is nice, but it’s not like he hasn’t had ample opportunity to run away with the job prior to now. That being said, I’m not exactly sold on the Titans being relevant either. Even though 6.5 seems like a lot of points and I’m told Vince Young just wins football games, I’m leaning the other way. The Jags were 6-2 at home last season, and all of their eight wins were by more than six points (surprised me too)… Pick: Jags -6.5

Durden: V Diddy's good, but I don't think it was necessary to turn up his degree of difficulty, which is exactly what the Titans did. The Jags will miss Brad Meester, but the Schedule Gods did them a favor in softening the blow, beginning with a nice win vs. the Titans. That VY's not gonna help them on Sunday, this one's going to hurt. Pick: Jags -6.5

Carolina Panthers @ St. Louis Rams (-1)
Mazzone: I know it’s only preseason, but Delhomme looked REAAAAAAAL bad (maybe the Rams D is the cure?). More importantly though, in 2005 a friend of ours (Dave) lost our survivor pool in week 1 when the Rams were upset by the 49ers. In 2006, Dave lasted until week 2…when the Rams were upset by the Niners. Who’s the Rams week 2 opponent in 2007 you ask?… the Niners. So, I like the Rams here and obviously the Niners next week. If Dave throws a curveball and takes the Rams this week in survivor, all bets are off. Pick: Rams -1

Durden: Tough game, but the Rams will go as Torry Holt will – giving himself up at three quarters strength. The Panthers should run wild and do just enough to keep S-Jax from taking over. Pick: Panthers +1

Philadelphia Eagles @ Green Bay Packers (+3)
Mazzone: Packers are probably the least likely of all the home underdogs to cover this week as all signs point to an Eagles route unless you’re concerned about McNabb’s health (I’m not. He’s on both my fantasy teams). That being said, opening week always has some odd results and this game gives me an inexplicable eerie feeling. I didn’t go with the other home dogs and it’s early in the season so I can afford to play a nonsensical hunch. Pick: Packers +3

Durden: Guess who's back?! Donovan at less than full strength is still better than the majority of the QBs in the league and we'll get to see just why the Eagles took Sidney Rice with their 1^st pick in the draft. Oh, wait. Well, Andy Reid and Kevin Kolb will look good together on the sidelines enjoying this one, as Green Bay's QB begins to ruin another Packer season. Pick: Eagles -3

Atlanta Falcons @ Minnesota Vikings (-3)
Mazzone: Part of me is wondering if Bobby Petrino is devising ways to throw the season so he can land Brian Brohm. Another part of me is wondering if he even has to. Adrian Peterson was capable of playing in the NFL three years ago. I feel like, after the injuries in subsequent years, no one remembers that. He and Chester Taylor give Tarvaris Jackson a chance to be successful. Pick: Vikings -3 (Peterson for rookie of the year)

Durden: The league's best run defense will force Yoey into doing Yoey things, and Tarvaris Jackson will kinda show us why he's almost for-real. If not, that Adrian Peterson kid is pretty good too. Dog days ahead for the ATL. Pick: Vikings -3

Miami Dolphins @ Washington Redskins (-3)
Mazzone: I have no idea who’s going to cover Santana Moss and I have no idea who’s going to get open against the loaded secondary of the Redskins. But I believe in Ronnie Brown, I believe in the Dolphins defensive front 7 and I’m ready to believe in Cam Cam and The Ginn Family. Pick: Dolphins +3

Durden: Ronnie Brown taking kicks to the house, Ginn catching 6 balls for 100 yards, Chambers setting downfield blocks for Chatman while he runs for 150, and Joey Porter picking off Campbell... twice. It's all going to be on display folks, and it's all by Cam Cam's design. Don't you dare suggest that I'm just saying that because Mazz is giving me some space on TPS. Pick: Dolphins +3

New England Patriots @ New York Jets (+6.5)
Mazzone: Being a Dolphin fan, I loathe this game. I always root for 0-0 tie where the teams just kick the crap out of each other for the whole game. That, and I root for Chad Pennington’s arm to come flying off while still holding the ball on a pass attempt. Romeo Crennel told me to just flip a coin… Pick: Patriots -6.5

Durden: This should be the beginning of a long season for the rest of the league. Mangina may have been able to think outside the box last year and screw the Pats, but they'll be overmatched and overwhelmed by New England this season. Pick: Patriots -6.5

Tampa Bay Buccaneers @ Seattle Seahawks (-6)
Mazzone: They say when you have 4 QB’s, you don’t have any. That couldn’t be more true in Gruden’s case, the Bucs are just hoping to get lucky with one of them at some point this season. Shaun Alexander’s primed for a huge season that should start here. The only thing in his way is “The Curse of Keith”. Every fantasy league has that one guy that just kills the season of whomever he drafts. My brother, Keith, has been that guy for awhile now and he’s got Shaun… good luck (more on the curse of Keith in future blogs). Pick: Seahawks -6

Durden: The Seahawks may have underachieved last year, but at least they had expectations. The Bucs are another team that inexplicably didn't do anything to truly improve themselves. Garcia's going to be running for his life all game as the Seahawks defense should actually be a strength this year with the addition of Kerney and Mora coaching the secondary. Pick: Seahawks -6

Chicago Bears @ San Diego Chargers (-6)
Mazzone: I live near Qualcomm Stadium and have 4 Bears fans staying in my apartment this weekend. I’ll toss on a Gates Jersey to taunt them a bit, but I think the Sex Cannon might have one of his games where people think “hmmm, he could still be good.” Pick: Da Bears +6

Durden: While the Bears will struggle on offense, the Chargers shouldn't have a problem setting up the pass by establishing the run early. San Diego simply has too many studs on both sides of the ball and Grossman obviously won't be able to save them as Benson struggles in his debut as the focus of their run game. Pick: Chargers -6

Detroit Lions @ Oakland Raiders (-2)
Mazzone: Roy Williams told me the Lions we’re “a good 3-13” last year and came close to scoring 40 pts several times despite what the scoreboard says. He also said “the score means nothing.” I disagree. Pick: Oakland -2


Durden: I feel good believing in Jon Kitna because he believes in God more than anyone not named Brenda Warner. Sure, the Raiders defense is good but Calvin's got a job now, and it's about to tear the Raiders apart. On a more unrelated note, I heard Lane Kiffin was in the hospital. Is he still old enough to qualify for Make a Wish? Pick: Lions +2

New York Giants @ Dallas Cowboys (-6)
Mazzone: I struggled picking this one. On one hand, I feel like Romo should have a field day with the Giants secondary. On the other hand, as long as Coughlin doesn’t force anyone else into retirement before kickoff I think the Giants should make a game of it as they usually do. Week one, divisional matchup…I’ll take the points in this one. Pick: Giants +6

Durden: I found it laughable when Tiki tried to address us all as a member of the media, but unfortunately for Eli, the G-Men won't be able to say they're fine without Tiki just yet. There are too many question marks for the Giants right now, and a healthy Burress is a must to beat the Cowboys. Carrie Underwood will be going home happy. Pick: Cowboys -6

Baltimore Ravens @ Cincinnati Bengals (-3)
Mazzone: Last year, the teams split. The Ravens won the high scoring battle at home and the Bengals won the low scoring game in Cincy, go figure. Shayne Graham is banged up, which isn’t good considering the Ravens allowed less than 13 points a game last season. Nonetheless, “he’s just a kicker” and Durden is a Baltimore fan so that solves this toss-up. I’ll give the points and take the Bengals at home. Pick: Bengals -3

Durden: In spite of multiple injury concerns that don't seem to be getting much press for some reason, I'm taking the good guys on my birthday. If they can at least contain The Chad and get ANYTHING out of the offense, it'll be a good Dos-Cinco for me. Pick: Ravens +3

Arizona Cardinals @ San Francisco 49ers (-3)
Mazzone: Remember that time the trendy pick went on to surprisingly disappoint the experts? This year’s trendy pick is San Francisco (a year too early). Pick: Cardinals +3

Durden: Gotta give props to the 49ers for showing other teams how to take care of biz in the offseason. Whisenhunt was another good hire this offseason, but the Cardinals still aren't ready to make the leap and I'm sure the Offensive Line's Grimm predicament isn't quite what he had in mind. The 49ers will come out strong and make a statement on MNF, leaving Whisenpants frustrated with his leaking team. Pick: 49ers -3

Double Double: In this segment Durden and I will each pick a two team parlay – usually including the spread. Occasionally we may go Animal Style and pick a couple of underdogs to win outright. Durden likes the heavy favorites this week. And, though I like the ‘hawks too, I’d be ridiculed if I didn’t go with the Texans after hyping them up during the preseason.

Durden: Seahawks (-6), Chargers (-6)
Mazzone: Houston (-3), Vikings (-3)

Bet safely, and always believe in football