Week 11 Spread 'em: The IN-N-OUT Challenge

Before we get to the picks there’s some business to take care of.

First off, my desktop is back up and running so you will see more frequent posts around here. I apologize for slacking off while it was in the shop and I’ll try to make up for it over the next few weeks. That being said, if anyone out there is interested in coming aboard, writing for TPS and having your opinions read by at least tens of people, shoot me an email and we’ll set something up.

Also, if you can’t get enough of me, I recently stumbled across a great opportunity and reached an agreement with Matthew Cerrone at MetsBlog (after a short trial period, he offered to let me write for free and I eagerly accepted) to join as a beat blogger during the hot stove season and hopefully well into the future.

…Now back to your regularly scheduled column…

Durden returns from Atlantic City in one piece which has led to an extra long post as I apparently disregarded the fact that he'd be back and continued to write a short novel for several games. But where else can you get a combined 600 words or so on that enticing Dolphins/Eagles matchup!

Last week, I was above .500 for the 4^th consecutive week and gained another game on Durden to cut his lead to 7 cheeseburgers. That should mean this will be a particularly disappointing one as he's scheduled to fly out here for the Ravens game Thanksgiving weekend where I’ll have to settle up what’s owed at the time. But, with 7 games different this week, I do have slim hope to get back to even just in time. So, on to the picks.

Click Clack.

San Diego Chargers @ Jacksonville Jaguars -3
Mazzone: Before the 2006 draft there was a lot of talk that Antonio Cromartie would drop way down the draft boards due to being out of football for a year after a torn ACL. Prior to the draft, I was praying for him to fall so the Dolphins (who were, and still are in desperate need of DB’s) could snag him in the 3^rd round.

Unfortunately, just 3 picks after Miami took Jason Allen at pick 16 in the first round, the Chargers ignored the expert’s warnings and picked based on what they saw of Cromartie prior to his injury, and at his pre draft workout. Smart move – aside from the highlight reel plays in recent weeks, he’s just an incredible athlete with the perfect physical attributes to be a successful CB. As long as he’s not a complete idiot, he should progress into a top CB.

The cross country flight, David Garrard’s return to the lineup, and the win over the Titans last week make this pick tough, but I still like the Chargers.
Pick: Chargers +3

Durden: While it’s tough for me to forget Jacksonville’s loss two weeks ago against the Saints, it’s even more difficult for me to forget San Diego’s loss two weeks ago against Adrian Peterson. Of course, the Jags also followed it up with an impressive win vs the Titans, while the Chargers barely beat a banged up Colts team. When you only win by two at home, despite intercepting the opposing QB six times and getting two special teams TDs, you didn’t win the game. The other team lost it.
Pick: Jaguars -3

Kansas City Chiefs @ Indianapolis Colts -14.5
Mazzone: I’ve been wavering between two schools of thought on this one. The first: Peyton without Dallas Clark, Marvin Harrison, Anthony Gonzalez, and a couple key pieces of the offensive line becomes human, and the loss of Dwight Freeney certainly won’t help matters, making 14.5 points A LOT to give.

The other side is that the Colts should have won on the road against the Chargers, despite the special teams giving away a boatload of points and Peyton throwing six INTs. Neither of which will come close to happening again. So, therefore they should have no problem covering against the Brodie Croyle led Chiefs, right?
Pick: Colts -14.5

Durden: Peyton proved against the Pats that he clearly STILL can not win a big game, and we saw his resulting hangover last week. I don’t want to hear about how he’s missing multiple offensive tackles and only has one healthy receiver, because it’s his job to figure out how to best use the strengths of Bryan Fletcher and Craven Moorehead. However, I do think the Colts will win in spite of all of Manning’s inadequacies, I’m just not sure they’ll cover.

Brodie Croyle does face a daunting task in his first game as a starter, when you consider they’re traveling to Indy and will have to deal with all the fake noise. Unfortunately for them, the Patriots must have the best evidence and tapes to prove noise-gate, but I’m guessing they’re refusing to submit it to the league. Therefore, I expect the Chiefs to come in with a very conservative game plan, and keep this one close enough.
Pick: Chiefs +14.5


Oakland Raiders @ Minnesota Vikings -5.5
Mazzone: From the meaningless but really fun stat department, I give you this gem. Over the last 12 seasons, scorned QB’s are an astounding 40-7 in games against their former teams. Daunte is likely getting the nod this week in Minnesota, and they won’t have to face Adrian Peterson – so that bodes well for the Raiders. But, Chester Taylor is no slouch and should be able to produce behind that offensive line against one of the league’s worst run defenses. I also like the VIkes defense to rattle Culpepper and take a fumble or pick to the house. Daunte got his revenge against the Dolphins earlier this year, he’ll have to settle for that.
Pick: MIN -5.5

Durden: This Raiders team continues to just hang in games, and I don’t see why this game will be any different. As for Minnesota, I probably won’t have very much to say about the Vikings until Adrian Peterson returns. They’re terrible, but it appears they’re at least having a good time and it seems pretty harmless to me. Hey, if you can’t fly prostitutes in from around the country to perform sex acts on a boat, what can you do??
Pick: Raiders +5.5


Cleveland Browns @ Baltimore Ravens +3
Mazzone: Durden is excited about McNair all but admitting he’s got nothing left and is a big reason for the Ravens’ struggles. While I agree, he’s been finished for awhile, I also think the Ravens have issues beyond the QB position. Home underdogs to the Browns? The Browns hanging with the Steelers last week was a mirage (see below), but the times they are a changin’…
Pick: Browns -3

Durden: I’ve always said that if the Ravens are to go 1-15, the game they HAVE to win (for me), is the home game vs the Browns. There is reason to be slightly optimistic too, as Stevie Wonder was finally demoted due to an “injury” to his non-throwing shoulder. That’s funny because not only is Kurt Warner playing with a similar injury, but can anyone even tell which shoulder is McNair’s “throwing” shoulder at this point?? However, there’s really not reason for even the biggest fan to have faith at this point, until they show even the slightest signs of life. As much as I hate to admit it, these are not last year’s Browns.

Promoting Kyle Boller is a decision that was well overdue, and yet it’s not likely to make a significant difference given the current injury situation. The Ravens definitely are not the only team that has suffered multiple injuries to key players, but coming into this season, they simply were not prepared to handle that and it’s showing. The opening-night secondary of Rolle, cornerback Chris McAlister, free safety Ed Reed and strong safety Dawan Landry has not started since Sept. 16 against the New York Jets. That’s a big problem against Cleveland, who has excelled passing the ball this season.

It’s also unfortunate that the Ravens now lost Demetrius Williams to an injury, as Boller could actually reach him down the field, though it may not have mattered with the way Billick’s mismanaged the offense.

If I could be wrong about any one pick this year, I hope it’s this one.
Pick: Browns -3

Pittsburgh Steelers @ New York Jets +9.5
Mazzone: The Steelers were on the receiving end of the “eff you, Madden game” last week…and won. To recap: The Browns totaled just 163 yards of offense and 76 of those came on their longest drive of the season and first of the game (yep, that means they had 87 yards of offense during the remaining 51 minutes of the game and still scored 28 points). Pittsburgh fell behind early, 21-6, thanks in part to a big kick return, a red zone interception, this RIDICULOUS TD catch by Braylon Edwards, and the aforementioned drive that the Browns probably won’t duplicate again for the rest of the year.

Even so, the Steelers battled back with 18 unanswered points and managed to take the lead in the fourth quarter 24-21, at least for a second anyway. Then, Joshua Cribbs (who tallied over 200 return yards ) took the ensuing kick to the house, which he somehow managed to pick up at the goal-line, hop over and slide by five would be tacklers inside his own five yard line, keep his balance and stay in-bounds despite sprinting along the sideline and having his shoulder nearly ripped off. That’s the point I would have thrown the controller.

Only two things kept the Browns from miraculously finishing off the eff you game. A holding call on another nice Cribbs return which would have put them in great shape for a potential game winning FG drive, and Phil Dawson coming up just short on the eventual 52 yard attempt.

Oh yea, something about the Jets…they suck.
Pick: Steely McBeam -9.5

Durden: My only real thought about this game, is how Pittsburgh isn’t favored by double digits. Mangini is proving to be more Mangina than Mangenius, and I don’t think the bye week or home-field advantage will be of much help on Sunday.
Pick: Steelers -9.5

Tampa Bay Buccaneers @ Atlanta Falcons +3
Mazzone: A Falcons win would put them a game out of first. I’ll have none of that. The Bucs remaining schedule should be just bad enough to win them the division and earn them the right to be double digit underdogs against their first round playoff opponent.
Pick: Bucs -3

Durden: This one seems fairly simple. While Atlanta coming off consecutive victories would appear to be impressive, it’s been far from convincing against two of the league’s worst teams right now. Tampa Bay will not only be well prepared for this game, but they’re better on both sides of the ball, than anything Atlanta’s seen in about a month.
Pick: Bucs -3

Arizona Cardinals @ Cincinnati Bengals -3
Music is my boyfriend
Music is my girlfriend

Music is my dead end
Music is my imaginary friend

Music is my brother
Music is my great-grand-daughter

Music is my sister
Music is my favorite mistress

Music is my beach house
Music is my hometown
Music is my king-size bed
Music is my hot hot bath
Music is my hot hot sex
Music is my back rub

Music is where I'd like you to touch.

Enjoy that for the rest of your day and all weekend.
Pick: Bengals -3

Durden: I didn’t think the Lions would struggle against the Cards last week, let alone lose, so I was definitely impressed by Arizona’s win. That’s more than enough for me to pick them against a Bengals team that is in really bad shape. Let’s just say their win last week against the Ravens was not your typical, 21-7 victory.
Pick: Cardinals +3


Miami Dolphins @ Philadelphia Eagles -10
Mazzone: It was a tough loss to the Bills, but you can’t blame Miami for looking ahead to the Eagles.

The John Beck Era is officially upon us and Ricky Williams is back – it doesn’t get much more exciting for the winless Dolphins! I am genuinely excited to get a look at Beck, although I’m not sure I would have made his first games AT Philly and Monday Night AT Pittsburgh. If Cam Cam was going to protect him this long, why throw him to those wolves now? Curious decision (I would have started him last week – Bills at home, or two weeks from now- Jets at home), but I’m anxious to see what he’s got, so let's do it.

As for Ricky’s return (I’ve always been and will always be Pro- Ricky Williams), I’m trying to figure out who would trade for him and what kind of value he’d have since there’s no logical reason for the Dolphins to hang onto him longer than the rest of this season to showcase him.

Maybe the Packers after making a run this year think they are a RB away and Favre talks them into it? Though completely unreasonable, it’d be really fun if he went to any of the following:

Eagles – McNabb heading out the door, and the fans booing the decision to draft Donovan over Ricky, it’d be a nice happy ending
Bears – Cedric Benson would probably cry
Denver – where they support his habits

Who am I kidding? He’ll probably end up with the Patriots for a fourth round pick and run for 2500 yards.

As for this week, sorry Eagles fans, but the Dolphins are the best 0-9 team in the NFL right now and John Beck has never lost his first ever NFL game.
Pick: Miami +10

Durden: I’m not big on moral victories, but I would think the Dolphins must draw some inspiration from at least remaining competitive, despite not having won a game yet. In fact, I was set to pick Miami to cover this week until they made the switch at QB to John Beck. I’m just not sure Beck’s first NFL action should’ve come on the road, against the Eagles and their blitz-happy defense, even if he is the league’s oldest rookie QB I can remember since Chris Weinke.

I was still a little unsure though, I was looking for some reassurance and definitely did not come across anything helpful. Instead, I came across a few of good quotes that tell me neither team really deserves to be favored by 10.

First, Eagles’ TE LJ Smith, what are your thoughts going into this game? "Right now I'm looking at being on another team," said Smith, Wow, OK. How about you, Joey Porter? You’re probably not qualified to be speaking on the Ricky Williams situation, having just joined the team, but what do you think since you’ll just tell us anyways? "Yeah, I would. We're 0-9," linebacker Joey Porter told the Miami Herald. "I'd welcome bin Laden if he could run the ball like Ricky did." Finally, John Madden, anything we should know about Philadelphia that we may not already know? “Rocky has muscles in places you don’t have muscles.” –John Madden

Anyway, I’m going to stick with Philly, mainly because Mazzone will be hosting my trip to Cali next week and this should subtract a burger in the standings.
Pick: Eagles -10

*Editors Note: I don’t want your stinkin’ charity, beotch! Besides, everyone knows there’s no way in hell you’d concede an IN-N-OUT cheeseburger if you really felt that way about the game.


New England Patriots @ Buffalo Bills +16
Mazzone: JP Losman and Dwayne Wright will be in the backfield for the Bills who are fresh off their dominating three point escape in Miami. Wright was the Bills 4^th round pick (111^th overall) out of Fresno State where he was second team ALL-WAC in 2006 . That’s all I know about him, because that’s all that’s really on his Wikipedia page. The line could be 30, and I’d be hard pressed to find a good reason take the Bills.
Pick: Patriots -16

Durden: The only concern here is the possibility of New England being a little quicker to take their foot off the accelerator, now that they have a two game lead in the AFC. Otherwise, how can you like the Bills to keep this close (especially without Marshawn Lynch), while the Patriots are coming off a bye?
Pick: Patriots -16


Washington Redskins @ Dallas Cowboys -10.5
Mazzone: Big win for Big D last week that solidifies their hold on the NFC East and now they come back to three straight home games that should continue to pad their lead, starting with the Redskins. I can’t really decide how to feel about the ‘skins, which makes sense since they’re about a .500 team and should finish that way. I like the Cowboys to win and for it to feel like a comfortable win, but think the Redskins get a meaningless score late in the game for the cover.
Pick: Redskins +10.5

Durden: The only real hope Washington has in this game, is overconfidence on Dallas’ part after last week’s big victory. Clinton Portis has been a man possessed of late, but it may not matter if the Cowboys come out strong against a Washington secondary that should be overwhelmed without Sean Taylor and Carlos Rogers. I think that’s a highly likely scenario, yet even if it doesn’t play out that way, the Redskins will find that running against Dallas is far tougher than running against Philly or the Jets.
Pick: Cowboys -10.5

New Orleans Saints @ Houston Texans -1
Mazzone: Just when I thought the Saints were headed for the playoffs, they fall flat on their face at home against the Rams. That’s completely unacceptable and warrants an automatic benching in my weekly picks, regardless of the opponent.

Besides, the Texans get Andre Johnson back and though he’s not 100 percent, that Saints secondary couldn’t stop him at 50%, let’s take a look at WR’s numbers against New Orleans this year.

Reggie Wayne/Marvin Harrison: 198 yards 3 TDs
Joey Galloway/Ike Hilliard: 186 yards, 2 TDs
Brandon Jones/Roydell Williams: 110 yards, TD (also Vince Young’s only game with two TD passes)
Steve Smith/Keary Colbert: 121 Yards, TD
Bobby Engram/Ben Obamanu/Nate Burleson: 255 yards, 2 TDs
Roddy White/Michael Jenkins: 179 yards, TD
Reggie Williams/John Broussard: 199 yards, TD
Torry Holt/Isaac Bruce: 186 yards, TD

They did sorta shut down the 49ers “passing game”, if you can call it that. Vernon Davis had 71 yards and a TD, but no receiver (the likes of Billy Gilmore and Arnaz Battle) had more than 25 yards.

If you’re still not getting the hint, start Matt Schaub, Andre Johnson, Kevin Walter, Andre Davis, and any other Texan that’s eligible to start at WR/TE for your fantasy teams this week.
Pick: Texans -1

Durden: Anyone else surprised that ESPN hasn’t done more to lamely spin this as Reggie Bush vs Mario Williams? Well, as promised a couple of weeks ago, the success the Saints were enjoying was indeed a product of its schedule. The problem here is that I have no idea what to make of the Texans right now. While I think New Orleans will definitely put up at least 20 points, Houston could prevail in a shootout or get blown out, and neither outcome would surprise me. Since I’m already bracing for the “Reggie Bush’s Eff You Game to Houston,” I’ll take New Orleans.
Pick: Saints +1


Carolina Panthers @ Green Bay Packers -9.5
Mazzone: I wish this were true. Anyway...I’m borrowing Durden’s Brett Favre Slurping Award this week and handing it out to Brad Evans over at Yahoo! - “Because Brett Favre wears comfortable jeans, never has heartburn and sports a Bowflex-chiseled body, it's safe to assume he'll average close to 300 yards and two touchdowns per game during the most crucial weeks of the season.”
Pick: Packers -9.5

Durden: Carolina’s another team I have almost no desire to talk about, nor do I really care to figure out how they got so bad, so fast. I know it’s tough to overcome the Vinny Carr Experiment at QB, but it’s not like anyone was really enamored with Delhomme coming into the season. To make matters worse, Steve Smith hasn’t practiced yet this week and he’s probably the only guy for Carolina who still gives a shit.
Pick: Packers -9.5

New York Giants @ Detroit Lions +3
Mazzone: Detroit got brought back down to earth last week and now they have a difficult schedule the rest of the way. I don’t think the Lions know this game is more important for them than the Giants, and they are probably looking forward to the Favre matchup on Thanksgiving. I think Eli Manning is in for a big day and the Giants bounce back nicely.
Pick: Giants -3

Durden: I know Detroit’s defense has overachieved thus far this season, but their offense is what had me believing coming into the season and it’s been pretty mediocre. As I mentioned before, their loss to Arizona was surprising and I’m going to give the edge to New York in this game. There’s quite a bit I’m not sure about, but I know the Lions are very good at allowing Kitna to get sacked, and the Giants are equally adept at sacking opposing QBs.
Pick: Giants -3

St. Louis Rams @ San Francisco 49ers +2.5
Mazzone: Ever get that creepy Déjà vu feeling? San Francisco and Miami appear to be headed for 1-2 draft position again (as in 2005), though the Dolphins have the inside track on the first pick this time. Remember when the Niners were everyone’s bandwagon pick this year, what happened to that? Rams were unlucky the first time these two met, it won’t happen again.
Pick: Rams -2.5

Durden: Hey, where are all those Steven Jackson commercials I was complaining about earlier this season? The man’s throwing TDs now!
Pick: Rams -2.5

Chicago Bears @ Seattle Seahawks -5.5
Mazzone: The Bears are Bringin’ Sexy Back, so the choice here is obvious.
Pick: Seahawks -5.5

Durden: Given their inconsistent nature, it pains me to take Seattle in consecutive weeks but even when the Seahawks try to give this game away, I don’t see the Bears taking it. This win will help Seattle in a few weeks as they back into the playoffs, while Arizona ultimately decides they’d rather not play more than 16 games.
Pick: Seahawks -5.5


Tennessee Titans @ Denver Broncos -2
Mazzone: Vince Young matches up real well with the Broncos as they are a great team to hand the ball off against and not pass at all (Broncos defense is tied with Oakland for last in yards allowed per carry at 4.8).

The Titans are in the top five in both stopping the run and running the football. It should be the perfect recipe for success against this Denver team, but I can’t help but think back to how poorly the defense played a week ago without Albert Haynesworth (166 rushing yards and 3 TDs allowed) and how easy that will make things for Jay Cutler and the Broncos if they can run the ball.
Pick: Broncos -2

Durden: Denver is like Seattle to me, in that I feel both teams are better on paper, and both frustrate me as they insist on underachieving. Therefore, I probably shouldn’t be too surprised that I find myself picking Denver to come out with another win this week as well. Bare with me here, but could it be that it’s actually Albert Haynesworth who just wins football games? It appears he’ll be missing another game for the Titans who will miss him again, and his ability to kickstart the team.
Pick: Broncos -2

If you haven't seen the Cal Marching Band's tribute to video games (tetris, mario bros, zelda, contra, etc...), here it is.



And just because I felt like adding a third video, completely unrelated to anything...

Say Anything - Wow, I Can Get Sexual Too

Week 10 Picks: Spread 'em the In-N-Out Challenge

There was no shortage of entertainment from the National Football League last week. Points all over the place, records being set, big plays, fun story lines, and the Super Bowl actually lived up to its hype (with Peyton proving he still can't win the big one).

Oddly enough, the best week of the football season didn't involve the Rams, Dolphins or Bears. I was over .500 for the third consecutive week and gained 2 games on Durden (66-57-7). I'm now trailing by 8 cheeseburgers.

This week gives us two things I never thought we'd see. 1) Durden and I have an unprecedented 12 games picked differently - which probably doesn't bode well for me considering our current records. 2) Later in the column, I'll present to you the black Trent Dilfer, though you can probably guess who it is.

Before we get to the picks it should be noted that Durden phoned his picks in this week, literally - via drunken text message from Atlantic City. He'll be back in full capacity next week, assuming he makes it home alive. I'm taking all sorts of prop bets on Durden's weekend experience, so email me if you want in.

Alright, onto the picks.

Click Clack.


STL @ NO -12
Mazzone: I should have known better than to count out any team in the NFC, even after starting 0-4. There’s no reason to think the Saints can’t win the pathetic NFC South and there’s no reason they shouldn’t roll over the Rams – who continue to lose key players to injury at an alarming rate. The latest to go down: Leonard Little (done for the season), Richie Incognito (done for the season), Steven Jackson for the 2nd time (done until he’s tackled again).

Also, if you’re a Saints fan that’s trying to talk yourself into this being a real turnaround rather than a product of the schedule, you can look no further than the offensive line and Drew Brees. In the first four losses, Brees had 11 turnovers, 929 yards, and 1 touchdown. In the last four wins, the Saints are averaging over 104 yards rushing a game, Brees has just 2 turnovers, 1246 yards, 11 TDs, and has only been sacked once – gaudy numbers regardless of the opponents.
Pick: Saints -12
Durden Pick: Rams +12


BUF @ MIA +3
Mazzone: For some reason, Cleo Lemon is still starting, but now he’s splitting reps with John Beck in practice, so hopefully Beck will get the nod soon. After picking apart the Bengals, the Bills should feel confident heading into Miami to face an equally atrocious defense. Marshawn Lynch’s career game was overshadowed by some guy in Minnesota, but Miami is known for making things easy on the RBs, so Lynch could do it again. Lee Evans typically destroys the Dolphins as well, and J.P. Losman knows how to throw the ball in his general direction more often than not.

The positive news for the Dolphins is that the Bills offensive line doesn’t allow many sacks which is good because the Dolphins don’t have a pass rush anyway so they can just abandon it all together and drop everyone in coverage on passing downs. Buffalo is a Cowboys miracle comeback away from 5-3 and being taken seriously in the playoff race, that’s disturbing and it’ll be nice for the Dolphins to put them back in their place with the rest of the AFC East teams not named the Patriots.
Pick: Miami Football Dolphins +3
Durden Pick: Bills -3


JAC @ TEN -4
Mazzone: These two teams are nearly identical in terms of philosophy. They’re going to try and beat you running the ball and playing defense while the passing game is almost non-existent. If all goes according to plan, this game should be low scoring and, barring overtime, it should finish long before the rest of the early games. If the Titans win, they should be able to book their playoff tickets as the rest of their schedule is pretty favorable.

I feel like anything not associated with the Patriots has flown under the radar this season, like how great the Titans and Steelers defenses have been. They may not be exactly on par with the greatest ever, but also not terribly far from the 2000 Ravens. Look for yourself and let’s get the “Vince Young is the black Trent Dilfer” bandwagon fired up.

Titans 2007 projected totals are in blue, 2000 Raven totals are in purple, Steelers 2007 projections are in black:

Passing Yards Allowed: 3276, 3175, 2588
Rushing Yards Allowed: 1056, 970, 1216
Interceptions: 26, 23, 14
Sacks: 44, 35, 50
Record: 12-4, 12-4 (Super Bowl Champs), 12-4

Here’s where the Ravens separate themselves:
Fumble Recovered: 14, 26, 18
Points: 248, 165 (least in NFL history), 196

Still impressive, and some year the Titans might even get Pac Man Jones back to boost the defense and special teams.

Just for fun:
Vince Young 2007 Projections, 2000 Dilfer:
Completion %: 61.6, 59.3
Interceptions: 16, 11
Total TDs: 10, 12
Fumbles/Lost: 8/2, 8/2
Total Yards (rushing + passing) per game: 145.7, 140.3
Sacks: 20, 23

Oh right, this is a picks column. Let’s go with a repeat of week 1 - 13-10 in favor of the black Trent Dilfer, Jags barely cover.
Pick: Jags +4
Durden Pick: Titans -4


CLE @ PIT -9.5
Mazzone: Aside from the Pats is there another team that would be favored by 9.5 or more two weeks in a row against the next best teams in their division? As mentioned above, the Steelers defense has been outstanding, but Ben Roethlisberger is not Trent Dilfer or Vince Young. Nobody will give it serious thought until it rolls around and the Steelers are 10-2 or 9-3, but there’s reason to believe they can give New England a run for their money in week 14. We talked about the D, and they are currently outscoring their opponents by about 16 a game, whereas NE is at 23 a game. The Steelers are a few garbage time “eff you” TDs away from being right with ‘em.

As for this week, if you hadn’t guessed already, I think the Steelers should win comfortably.
Pick: McBeams -9.5
Durden Pick: Steelers -9.5


PHI @ WAS -3
Mazzone: McNabb usually comes out on fire after he throws a pity party for himself (as he did earlier this week) and since he’s in a more friendly environment than the Linc, I’m going with the Eagles.
Pick: Eagles +3
Durden Pick: Redskins -3


ATL @ CAR -4
Mazzone: Let’s be honest, you’re only betting on this game if you routinely bet on every single game, and even then you’re still not going to watch any of it. DeShaun Foster destroys the Falcons, so it shouldn’t matter if Matt Moore (who?) or Vinny Testaverde are at QB. If David Carr plays though… go with the Falcons. Wow, what a trio, my head is spinning just thinking about those guys.

Anyway, yes, I just endorsed Matt Moore over David Carr and I’m pretty sure I’ve never seen Matt Moore throw a football…and now I’m picking his team to cover against Joey Harrington, and I feel confident about it.
Pick: Panthers -4
Durden Pick: Atlanta +4


DEN @ KC -3
Mazzone: It’s tough not to root for a guy like Priest Holmes, especially when it’s so easy to root against Larry Johnson. With Priest coming back this week, I’m reminded of my favorite Denver/KC game in recent memory. It wasn’t really Denver/KC so much as Quentin Griffin against Priest Holmes.

They were ripping off ridiculous run after ridiculous run and I had both of them starting in a fantasy league that awarded each weekly winner with a big screen TV from Best Buy. I was giddy throughout the game, only to come up just short of winning as I didn’t have the top QB for the week by just a couple points.

Of course, that was week 1, and I never sniffed the top of the standings the rest of the way. I finally had to settle for buying a big screen on my own 3 years later. It’s still fun, but not as much as if it were free. In remembrance of that game, I’m going with Denver 34 – Kansas City 24, with Priest and Selvyn Young combining for 5 tds and 300+ rushing yards.
Pick: Broncos +3
Durden Pick: KC -3


MIN @ GB -6
Mazzone: I guess you could say this about a few teams, but Minnesota is a serviceable quarterback (Donovan McNabb next year?) away from being a legitimate playoff team, and that’s despite wasting a pick on Troy Williamson. We know about Adrian Peterson, the offensive line, and the run defense, but Sidney Rice is legit too (you’d see that if they had a QB). The pass defense has been among the worst in yards allowed, but that’s partially because teams know they can’t run so they’re throwing 41 times a game against the Vikes, that’s tops in the NFL. They have some talent in the secondary and are middle of the pack in yards allowed per passing attempt.

That being said, Favre is playing in the house that Favre built with his smile, gunslinger mentality and child-like love for the game, so he should be able to do to them what Philip Rivers couldn’t. Fortunately for me, I don’t care about any of that and am blinded by my season-long man crush on Adrian Peterson where I drafted him in my fantasy league and then touted him as rookie of the year before he took a hand-off (everyone forgets Adrian Peterson was NFL ready three years ago). And now I’m swiping this from the guys at Kissing Suzy Kolber because I couldn't say it better myself.

KSK Reader Gavin B. writes:

I nominate the following name changes:

Adrian Peterson is no longer Purple Jesus, he's just plain old Jesus.

Jesus (the "son of God" Jesus) is now to be called "Carpenter Jesus."

Make it so.

Pick: Vikings +6
Durden Pick: Green Bay -6


CIN @ BAL -4
Mazzone: The Bengals are terrible, but the offense still looks good on paper at least. The Ravens defense is no longer good enough to shut teams out but the offense is still awful and banged up to the point where I’m not sure they can score 14 points. Give me the points, I guess.
Pick: Bengals +4
Durden Pick: Ravens -4


DET @ ARI -1
Mazzone: Everyone probably loves Detroit here, but I feel good about a let-down game from the Lions, combined with a bounce back game for the Cards. If that comes through, then the Lions might be hard pressed to reach Kitna’s 10 win prognostication.

The remaining schedule is about as tough as an NFC North team’s schedule can be (NYG, GB, @MIN, DAL, @SD, KC, @GB). Four wins out of that group could be difficult, but I doubt the Lions are aware of that, so I expect them to downplay the Cardinals and come out flat after their demolition of the Broncos. The good news for Detroit is that there’s no way in hell that they’ll NEED 10 wins to make the postseason in the NFC.
Pick: Cardinals -1
Durden Pick: Lions +1


CHI @ OAK +3.5
Mazzone: The Bears give up 131 rushing yards per game and the Raiders are fourth in the league with 140 rushing yards per game (behind Adrian Peterson, Willie Parker, and whoever the Titans feel like handing it off to that week). It doesn’t take a rocket scientist to know what Lane Kiffin should plan to do. Which is good, because Lovie Smith is no rocket scientist. The bottom line is that I still can’t believe the Bears are giving points on the road to any team that’s not winless.
Pick: Raiders +3.5
Durden Pick: Bears -3.5


DAL @ NYG +1
Mazzone: I guess it’s time to put my reader’s money where my mouth is. In the week 4 picks, I took the Giants over the Eagles and mentioned 6-2 going into the bye was a possibility. In week 7, I upped the ante saying they’d be one of the top two teams in the NFC and you’d hear some realistic Super Bowl talk in the near future.

The Giants two losses came to the Packers and Cowboys, arguably the best teams in the NFC, but that was back when the Giants were in shambles and there was a possibility of having a Derrick Ward/Jared Lorenzen backfield for several weeks. This is a different Giants team, one that’s certainly more dangerous than the Packers. Unfortunately for the G-Men, the Cowboys aren’t exactly ripe for the picking. The Giants are going to have to earn every bit of this one.
Pick: Giants +1
Durden Pick: Cowboys -1


IND @ SD +3.5
Mazzone: I was all set to pick the Chargers here, and then Luis Castillo had to go and get hurt and the Colts had to go and lose to the Patriots. Ah, screw it, I’m still going with the Chargers. Might even have to snag a ticket and walk across the street to enjoy it in person. The Chargers are significantly better at home than on the road and they match up pretty well with the Colts, assuming Rivers doesn’t duplicate the debacle that took place in Minnesota. This is a much bigger game for San Diego than Indianapolis, let's see if it plays out as such or if the Colts are jerks and take out their frustrations from a week ago on the poor city ravaged by wild fires.
Pick: Chargers +3.5
Durden Pick: Colts -3.5


SF @ SEA -10
Mazzone: I can’t think of a single reason why the schedule makers thought this was a good idea for prime time. Oh well, I’m really looking forward to that Niners/Rams matchup next week – the Niners should be too since they’re going to lose this one 37-6.
Pick: Seahawks -10
Durden Pick: Seahawks -10

Spread 'em: Week 5 of the In-N-Out Challenge

Durden and I both split last week (7-7), so he kept his six cheeseburger lead with a record of 29-27-6.

I’ve got a lot of catching up to do, and the season’s already a quarter of the way through. So no messing around this week, straight to the picks…

Carolina Panthers at New Orleans Saints -3
Mazzone: I feel like every week I find myself saying, “if the Saints don’t win this one, their season is OVER”, and while that doesn’t make any sense after the first week of thinking it, I’m still saying it. We better see a lot of Reggie Bush and DeShaun Foster, mostly because both are starting for my fantasy team this week. Also, there is positive news for the previously cursed Brees later in this post. Combine that with Kris Jenkins saying his Panthers don’t have any heart, and David Carr being at the helm…
Pick: Saints -3

Durden: While both teams have underachieved, you would think the Saints would be the team with internal turmoil, but it’s the Carolina locker room that appears to be shook up. This isn’t me going with New Orleans, it’s me going with the home team coming off a bye.
Pick: Saints -3

Jacksonville Jaguars at Kansas City Chiefs +2.5
Mazzone: The Jags haven’t played well coming off bye weeks under Jack Del Rio, and the Chiefs are fresh off two gutsy comeback wins. I really don’t feel good about either of these teams the rest of the season but with a half point in the line, there must be a winner.
Pick: Jags -2.5

Durden: Khalif Barnes is not a model citizen, and he almost literally drove that point home recently. This is not part of the plan for teams with early bye weeks such as the Jags, who now head to KC without Barnes and Meester on their offensive line, against a stout Chiefs defense. Even worse for them, the Chiefs offense may have actually woken up last week and plus, Eddie Kennison is still a threat in the National Football League…just ask him. "Eddie Kennison is still a big threat in the National Football League.” Kennison told the Kansas City Star.
Pick: Chiefs +2.5

Detroit Lions at Washington Redskins -3.5
Mazzone: Common sense would say that if it’s a high scoring game the Lions would win, and if it’s a low scoring game you might want to take the points. But, common sense has me 6 games behind in this competition. The Redskins have the secondary to matchup with the Lions, but they could struggle on offense if Moss is unable to go. I’ll take the home team, fresh off their bye, and pray I don’t get burned by that half point.
Pick: ‘Skin to win -3.5

Durden: Another home team coming off a bye, the Redskins not only have as much talent in their secondary as anybody to match up with the Lions pass game, but they’ve had the extra time to figure out how to contain it. I’m going to go with Washington in spite of their pathetic collapse against the Giants. I’m also going to go with Washington because the Lions showed last week they could be held in check, if only for three quarters. I don’t know how it happened, so I’ll let Rod Marinelli (kind of, but not really) explain it: "This game was probably like me -- ugly," Marinelli said. "It was also like me because it was a fight."
Pick: Redskins -3.5

Atlanta Falcons at Tennessee Titans -8.5
Mazzone: Vince Young may very well “just win football games”, but not typically by 9 points. Joey Heisman has been playing respectable football. Mike Vick is going to PETA meetings. The Falcons seemed to be turning things around, and I was all set to pick them. Then, I saw this video and couldn’t pick a team with a mascot that would break their own cheerleader’s spirit – on her birthday, no less. Then I watched it again, and I laughed, but still decided to go with the Titans.
Pick: Titans -8.5

Durden: Bobby Petrino, the Falcons' first-year coach, picked up his first NFL win on Sunday. He wore a white cap -- after going without anything on his head the previous week -- in hopes of changing the team's fortunes. "I'm not superstitious or anything," he said. "But I was changing it up until we got a win. You'll probably see the white hat for a while." No Bobby, we won’t. I’ll take any team that gets 2 weeks to prepare for Yoey Harrington and the Falcons.
Pick: Titans -8.5

Ronnie Brown at Houston Texans -5.5
Mazzone: My boy attempts to become just the second running back ever to gain 200+ yards from scrimmage in three straight games (Walter Payton). Houston’s offense is pretty banged up, but how healthy do you have to be to hand the ball off and watch your running back go? The Dolphins are allowing an astounding 199.2 yards per game on the ground. The last time anyone came within 25 yards of that was in 1987 (Falcons 182.3 ypg). If the Texans can limit Ronnie Brown, it’s probably over. If not, there’s hope, albeit very little, unless the defense gets its act together.
Pick: Ronnie Brown +5.5

Durden: We know technology is amazing, but check out what it can do for Jason Taylor: "You can Google all the negative emotions and they're all there for me." Jason Taylor told the Miami Herald following the loss to Oakland. Don’t worry though Dol-fans, I’m here to tell you what Joey Porter wants to tell you. The Texans WILL NOT cover on Sunday – I guarantee it.
Pick: Dolphins +5.5

Seattle Seahawks at Pittsburgh Steelers -6
Mazzone: There’s nothing quite like hyping up a regular season game as revenge for a championship loss. It will be interesting to see if Tomlin can get his team to rebound, and care about this game as much as those revenge-seeking Seahawks.
Pick: Seahawks +6

Durden: You want to crown the Steelers? Go ahead and crown their asses, but Pittsburgh is exactly who we thought they are, and Arizona did NOT let them off the hook!" Everyone forgets this but, the Seahawks were robbed of the Super Bowl just two seasons ago! I may have doubts about this Seattle team playing up to its potential, but I have faith that the Football Gods will at least throw them some breaks this time around. Sorry Pittsburgh, they can’t all be cupcakes.
Pick: Seahawks +6

Cleveland Browns at New England Patriots -16
Mazzone: I’ve had a complete change of heart with regards to the Browns from the beginning of the season. Not just because they’re playing better, but because it’d be such a great story if Brady Quinn was never able to beat out an over achieving Derek Anderson and was mired on the bench again next season. Braylon Edwards claims they match up well against the Pats, and with the Cowboys on deck this game screams “TRAP GAME” for the Patriots…just kidding, they’re nearly invincible right now...but I’m going to inexplicably take the points anyway.
Pick: Browns +16

Durden: The juices will be flowing on Sunday, and I’m not just talking about Rodney Harrison being back. Romeo Crennel returns to New England for what should be an ass-whoopin, though I have a feeling Belicheat may take it easy on him. It’s not strong enough though, as the Patriots haven’t won by less than 20 points yet, and I’m not picking the Browns to break that streak.
Pick: Patriots -16

Arizona Cardinals at St Louis Rams +3.5
Mazzone: No Anquan Boldin hurts the Cards, but no team is more ravaged by injuries on offense than the Rams. As much as the Cardinals are beatable, and the Rams have to win one somewhere, I wouldn’t be able to sleep at night if I advocated betting on Gus Frerotte minus an offensive line and Steven Jackson.
Pick: Cardinals -3.5

Durden: I refuse to take this platoon at QB seriously. Warner and Leinart are essentially the same QB: pocket passers who couldn’t beat Christopher Reeves in a foot race. So pick the better one and get on with it! Anyways, they head to St. Louis to face a Rams team that isn’t even worth talking about. Hopefully Fox preempts all Brenda Warner shots with a fair warning.
Pick: Cardinals -3.5

New York Jets at New York Giants -3.5
Mazzone: Wasn’t the Giants season done after week two? Now you could make a strong case for 6-2 before their bye. Thomas Jones and the Jets haven’t had a run longer than 12 yards all season (and they already played the worst run D in the NFL). Also, Jets fans cheer dead babies (scroll about 3/4ths of the way down on the link).
Pick: Giants -3.5

Durden: Chad Pennington said, "It's tough not to get happy feet, it's tough not to try to get rid of the ball earlier because of what's happened in the previous plays. That's the hardest thing." It’s not going to get any easier against an aggressive Giant defense, and I also expect the Giants to not struggle much on offense.
Pick: Giants -3.5

Tampa Bay Buccaneers at Indianapolis Colts -10
Mazzone: [Insert Caddy in the garage/car’s a lemon joke here] I’m excited to see more reruns of Earnest goes to the End Zone, but I’m also still hoping someone exposes the Bucs as the frauds I believe them to be. Who better to do that than Peyton Manning?
Pick: Colts -10

Durden: While I still maintain that the Colts are a “different animal” at home, you can’t ignore the injuries they suffered last week. In addition to losing Rob Morris and Bob Sanders, they could also be without Marvin Harrison and Joseph Addai. I still expect the Colts to win, but I do think the Bucs can keep it close.
Pick: Bucs +10

San Diego Chargers at Denver Broncos -1
Mazzone: Ironic that the same week a $3,000 billboard is unveiled encouraging Ricky Williams to play for the Broncos, their starting RB is busted by the NFL for smoking weed. Selvin Young’s 15 minutes of fame begin now. He can thank the curse for potentially ending yet another career.

And even though I don’t feel that good about the Chargers, I just feel like the curse may have changed targets from Brees to Keith's Broncos players. Travis Henry is injured and soon to be suspended. Jay Cutler’s not only hobbling, but the curse may even break up his parents, talk about unprecedented.
Pick: Chargers +1

Durden: The Broncos may have just lost Travis Henry, but it’s actually the Chargers’ season that’s up in smoke. Denver hasn’t been able to stop the run, but that shouldn’t keep Rivers and San Diego’s offense from failing to take advantage. I’m really not much more confident in the Broncos right now, but I’m done waiting for the Chargers to show us something. Hey, at least Merriman found the right time to turn the Lights Out on their season. MAR-TY! MAR-TY!
Pick: Broncos -1

Baltimore Ravens at San Francisco 49ers +3.5
Mazzone: 49ers porous run defense (130 yards per game allowed) has to find a way to stop McGahee while the Ravens (71 ypg) should be able to handle Gore, but have to find a way to stop…Trent Dilfer? Even so, they’re both unimpressive teams so I’m going with the home team, the points, and the best player in this game (Gore).
Pick: Niners +3.5

Durden: The 49ers should be in trouble, as the Ravens can stop the run and SF doesn’t have the speed/talent outside to help Dilfer get rid of the ball quickly. The Ravens should be in trouble because their QB is Steve McNair, they lead the league in penalties, and their defense continues to give up big plays. Baltimore badly needs to rebound from the embarrassing loss to the Browns so I can try and forget about last week. San Fran could probably use a rebound too, but I really don’t care.
Pick: Ravens -3.5

Chicago Bears at Green Bay Packers -3.5
Mazzone: Kurt Warner clearly got Brett Favre in touch with the Devil this offseason. So, now they’ve worked out a deal and every one of us is forced to put up with it the rest of the season. Fantastic.
Pick: Packers -3.5

Durden: Sometimes I wish I was a WR on the Packers, so that when Favre tried to pick me up, I could kick him in the face. Brett didn’t care about the record so much (the one that’s the sole reason he’s playing), that he went to the stands to celebrate with his wife and family, during the game. With that said, there was a tie this week for disturbing Favre-ism.

1a) ESPN’s Len Pasquarelli: “As he hiked up his pants on Sunday evening -- one leg at a time, it should be noted, for those Green Bay fans who believe their future Hall of Fame quarterback is a Superman in shoulder pads -- Brett Favre tore off the button on the waistband, and the pair of khakis slid all the way down to his knees.”

1b) Packer WR, Greg Jennings: "He makes us go, as he goes, we go. He puts the buzz in every one of us."

Sorry, but if I have to read this crap, then I have to bring as many people as I can down with me.
Pick: Packers -3.5

Dallas Cowboys at Buffalo Bills -10.5
Mazzone: Who’s psyched to re-live that one sided rivalry from the early 90’s?!?! NFL Schedule-makers, you fail. Dallas 52 – Buffalo 17 sounds familiar.
Pick: Cowboys -10.5

Durden: Best offense in the league meets the worst defense! Whose idea was it to put Buffalo on MNF??? I don’t know either, but it’s probably the same person whose idea it was to give us Giants @ Falcons next week. Well, at least the Cowboys will put on a show for us, and there is no way TO is held quiet two weeks in a row - most certainly not on Monday Night Football.
Pick: Cowboys -10.5

Bet safely, and always believe in football.

Spread'em: the In-N-Out Challenge

Ahhhhhhh, welcome back football.

First off, we’re not experts (we just play them on the Internet) and our advice should be taken no more seriously than Romeo Crennel takes his starting QB competition.

The challenge was created when I (Mazzone) moved from East coast to West coast and with the help of a friend back east (Durden) learned of the brilliance that is In-N-Out Burger. The person who wins this year long competition will receive an In-N-Out burger for each game they win by, paid for by the loser.


Don’t kill us too much for not picking your favorite team to win and cover the spread every week.

Enjoy the commentary, enjoy the games, and keep coming back for more.

(right click on the hyperlinks and open in a new window for additional entertainment throughout this blog)

New Orleans Saints @ Indianapolis Colts (-5.5)
Mazzone: Heck of a way to open the season. There’s really no explanation for picking against the defending Super Bowl champs at home when they have one of the greatest quarterbacks to ever play the game. So I’ll just say – I like watching Reggie Bush. Pick: Saints +5.5

Durden: Will Archie Manning attend with a paper bag over his head? More importantly, will this be the beginning of what I think should be a down year for the Colts? I'd feel even more confident about that if their division wasn't a joke, but in the meantime, look for the Saints to prevail in a shootout. Pick: Saints +5.5

Kansas City Chiefs @ Houston Texans (-3)
Mazzone: Last year the Texans were the “money” team for a coworker of mine (Teddy Ballgame). Ballgame’s either a little slow, or way ahead of his time - depending on who you ask. I think he was a year early on the Texans. I like Ahman Green to have a real nice year, Schaub to be more than serviceable with just enough weapons to make the Texans dangerous. .500 or better isn’t out of the question. Pick: Texans -3

Durden: This week's Gus Johnson Special! I expect both of these teams to be equally woeful on offense and defense this year, so unless Jac. Jones takes a kickoff to the house, I don't want to see a second of this game on Sunday. I'll give the edge to the Chiefs in an ugly one, but here's to Our Buddy Gus calling some better games this year. Pick: Chiefs +3

Denver Broncos @ Buffalo Bills (+3.5)
Mazzone: I think Champ Bailey is going to make it tough for the Bills to complete their signature play of Losman chucking it deep and hoping Lee Evans outruns everyone and catches it. Travis Henry always feels like he has something to prove, even moreso against the Bills. Expect him to celebrate a Broncos win by fathering his 10^th child from 10 different women.
Pick: Broncos -3.5

Durden: The Bills lost Clements, McGahee, Spikes and Fletcher, while overspending on a new Offensive Line. I'm typically inclined to ignore the Bills, but it's nice of them to make it easy on me. Only thing that could do the Broncos in is Cutler coming out impatient, but I think the Mastermind will have him prepared. Pick: Broncos -3.5

Pittsburgh Steelers @ Cleveland Browns (+4.5)
Mazzone: The Browns and their fans have high hopes for the future with Brady Quinn, Joe Thomas, Kamerion Wimbley, Braylon Edwards and the Soldier. The Steelers and their fans have high hopes for this game, because they’re playing the Browns. “Fast” Willie Parker and “Smiling” Hines Ward in a romp.
Pick: Steelers -4.5

Durden: There aren't two teams I hate more in the NFL. Unfortunately, I think Tomlin was the right hire for the McBeams and he should have them ready to come out flying on both sides of the ball. Crennel, on the other hand, resorts to coin tosses to determine his starting QB. Yes, really. 'Nuff said. Pick: Steelers -4.5

Tennessee Titans @ Jacksonville Jaguars (-6.5)
Mazzone: Committing to David Garrard is nice, but it’s not like he hasn’t had ample opportunity to run away with the job prior to now. That being said, I’m not exactly sold on the Titans being relevant either. Even though 6.5 seems like a lot of points and I’m told Vince Young just wins football games, I’m leaning the other way. The Jags were 6-2 at home last season, and all of their eight wins were by more than six points (surprised me too)… Pick: Jags -6.5

Durden: V Diddy's good, but I don't think it was necessary to turn up his degree of difficulty, which is exactly what the Titans did. The Jags will miss Brad Meester, but the Schedule Gods did them a favor in softening the blow, beginning with a nice win vs. the Titans. That VY's not gonna help them on Sunday, this one's going to hurt. Pick: Jags -6.5

Carolina Panthers @ St. Louis Rams (-1)
Mazzone: I know it’s only preseason, but Delhomme looked REAAAAAAAL bad (maybe the Rams D is the cure?). More importantly though, in 2005 a friend of ours (Dave) lost our survivor pool in week 1 when the Rams were upset by the 49ers. In 2006, Dave lasted until week 2…when the Rams were upset by the Niners. Who’s the Rams week 2 opponent in 2007 you ask?… the Niners. So, I like the Rams here and obviously the Niners next week. If Dave throws a curveball and takes the Rams this week in survivor, all bets are off. Pick: Rams -1

Durden: Tough game, but the Rams will go as Torry Holt will – giving himself up at three quarters strength. The Panthers should run wild and do just enough to keep S-Jax from taking over. Pick: Panthers +1

Philadelphia Eagles @ Green Bay Packers (+3)
Mazzone: Packers are probably the least likely of all the home underdogs to cover this week as all signs point to an Eagles route unless you’re concerned about McNabb’s health (I’m not. He’s on both my fantasy teams). That being said, opening week always has some odd results and this game gives me an inexplicable eerie feeling. I didn’t go with the other home dogs and it’s early in the season so I can afford to play a nonsensical hunch. Pick: Packers +3

Durden: Guess who's back?! Donovan at less than full strength is still better than the majority of the QBs in the league and we'll get to see just why the Eagles took Sidney Rice with their 1^st pick in the draft. Oh, wait. Well, Andy Reid and Kevin Kolb will look good together on the sidelines enjoying this one, as Green Bay's QB begins to ruin another Packer season. Pick: Eagles -3

Atlanta Falcons @ Minnesota Vikings (-3)
Mazzone: Part of me is wondering if Bobby Petrino is devising ways to throw the season so he can land Brian Brohm. Another part of me is wondering if he even has to. Adrian Peterson was capable of playing in the NFL three years ago. I feel like, after the injuries in subsequent years, no one remembers that. He and Chester Taylor give Tarvaris Jackson a chance to be successful. Pick: Vikings -3 (Peterson for rookie of the year)

Durden: The league's best run defense will force Yoey into doing Yoey things, and Tarvaris Jackson will kinda show us why he's almost for-real. If not, that Adrian Peterson kid is pretty good too. Dog days ahead for the ATL. Pick: Vikings -3

Miami Dolphins @ Washington Redskins (-3)
Mazzone: I have no idea who’s going to cover Santana Moss and I have no idea who’s going to get open against the loaded secondary of the Redskins. But I believe in Ronnie Brown, I believe in the Dolphins defensive front 7 and I’m ready to believe in Cam Cam and The Ginn Family. Pick: Dolphins +3

Durden: Ronnie Brown taking kicks to the house, Ginn catching 6 balls for 100 yards, Chambers setting downfield blocks for Chatman while he runs for 150, and Joey Porter picking off Campbell... twice. It's all going to be on display folks, and it's all by Cam Cam's design. Don't you dare suggest that I'm just saying that because Mazz is giving me some space on TPS. Pick: Dolphins +3

New England Patriots @ New York Jets (+6.5)
Mazzone: Being a Dolphin fan, I loathe this game. I always root for 0-0 tie where the teams just kick the crap out of each other for the whole game. That, and I root for Chad Pennington’s arm to come flying off while still holding the ball on a pass attempt. Romeo Crennel told me to just flip a coin… Pick: Patriots -6.5

Durden: This should be the beginning of a long season for the rest of the league. Mangina may have been able to think outside the box last year and screw the Pats, but they'll be overmatched and overwhelmed by New England this season. Pick: Patriots -6.5

Tampa Bay Buccaneers @ Seattle Seahawks (-6)
Mazzone: They say when you have 4 QB’s, you don’t have any. That couldn’t be more true in Gruden’s case, the Bucs are just hoping to get lucky with one of them at some point this season. Shaun Alexander’s primed for a huge season that should start here. The only thing in his way is “The Curse of Keith”. Every fantasy league has that one guy that just kills the season of whomever he drafts. My brother, Keith, has been that guy for awhile now and he’s got Shaun… good luck (more on the curse of Keith in future blogs). Pick: Seahawks -6

Durden: The Seahawks may have underachieved last year, but at least they had expectations. The Bucs are another team that inexplicably didn't do anything to truly improve themselves. Garcia's going to be running for his life all game as the Seahawks defense should actually be a strength this year with the addition of Kerney and Mora coaching the secondary. Pick: Seahawks -6

Chicago Bears @ San Diego Chargers (-6)
Mazzone: I live near Qualcomm Stadium and have 4 Bears fans staying in my apartment this weekend. I’ll toss on a Gates Jersey to taunt them a bit, but I think the Sex Cannon might have one of his games where people think “hmmm, he could still be good.” Pick: Da Bears +6

Durden: While the Bears will struggle on offense, the Chargers shouldn't have a problem setting up the pass by establishing the run early. San Diego simply has too many studs on both sides of the ball and Grossman obviously won't be able to save them as Benson struggles in his debut as the focus of their run game. Pick: Chargers -6

Detroit Lions @ Oakland Raiders (-2)
Mazzone: Roy Williams told me the Lions we’re “a good 3-13” last year and came close to scoring 40 pts several times despite what the scoreboard says. He also said “the score means nothing.” I disagree. Pick: Oakland -2


Durden: I feel good believing in Jon Kitna because he believes in God more than anyone not named Brenda Warner. Sure, the Raiders defense is good but Calvin's got a job now, and it's about to tear the Raiders apart. On a more unrelated note, I heard Lane Kiffin was in the hospital. Is he still old enough to qualify for Make a Wish? Pick: Lions +2

New York Giants @ Dallas Cowboys (-6)
Mazzone: I struggled picking this one. On one hand, I feel like Romo should have a field day with the Giants secondary. On the other hand, as long as Coughlin doesn’t force anyone else into retirement before kickoff I think the Giants should make a game of it as they usually do. Week one, divisional matchup…I’ll take the points in this one. Pick: Giants +6

Durden: I found it laughable when Tiki tried to address us all as a member of the media, but unfortunately for Eli, the G-Men won't be able to say they're fine without Tiki just yet. There are too many question marks for the Giants right now, and a healthy Burress is a must to beat the Cowboys. Carrie Underwood will be going home happy. Pick: Cowboys -6

Baltimore Ravens @ Cincinnati Bengals (-3)
Mazzone: Last year, the teams split. The Ravens won the high scoring battle at home and the Bengals won the low scoring game in Cincy, go figure. Shayne Graham is banged up, which isn’t good considering the Ravens allowed less than 13 points a game last season. Nonetheless, “he’s just a kicker” and Durden is a Baltimore fan so that solves this toss-up. I’ll give the points and take the Bengals at home. Pick: Bengals -3

Durden: In spite of multiple injury concerns that don't seem to be getting much press for some reason, I'm taking the good guys on my birthday. If they can at least contain The Chad and get ANYTHING out of the offense, it'll be a good Dos-Cinco for me. Pick: Ravens +3

Arizona Cardinals @ San Francisco 49ers (-3)
Mazzone: Remember that time the trendy pick went on to surprisingly disappoint the experts? This year’s trendy pick is San Francisco (a year too early). Pick: Cardinals +3

Durden: Gotta give props to the 49ers for showing other teams how to take care of biz in the offseason. Whisenhunt was another good hire this offseason, but the Cardinals still aren't ready to make the leap and I'm sure the Offensive Line's Grimm predicament isn't quite what he had in mind. The 49ers will come out strong and make a statement on MNF, leaving Whisenpants frustrated with his leaking team. Pick: 49ers -3

Double Double: In this segment Durden and I will each pick a two team parlay – usually including the spread. Occasionally we may go Animal Style and pick a couple of underdogs to win outright. Durden likes the heavy favorites this week. And, though I like the ‘hawks too, I’d be ridiculed if I didn’t go with the Texans after hyping them up during the preseason.

Durden: Seahawks (-6), Chargers (-6)
Mazzone: Houston (-3), Vikings (-3)

Bet safely, and always believe in football