Spread 'em: Week 5 of the In-N-Out Challenge

Durden and I both split last week (7-7), so he kept his six cheeseburger lead with a record of 29-27-6.

I’ve got a lot of catching up to do, and the season’s already a quarter of the way through. So no messing around this week, straight to the picks…

Carolina Panthers at New Orleans Saints -3
Mazzone: I feel like every week I find myself saying, “if the Saints don’t win this one, their season is OVER”, and while that doesn’t make any sense after the first week of thinking it, I’m still saying it. We better see a lot of Reggie Bush and DeShaun Foster, mostly because both are starting for my fantasy team this week. Also, there is positive news for the previously cursed Brees later in this post. Combine that with Kris Jenkins saying his Panthers don’t have any heart, and David Carr being at the helm…
Pick: Saints -3

Durden: While both teams have underachieved, you would think the Saints would be the team with internal turmoil, but it’s the Carolina locker room that appears to be shook up. This isn’t me going with New Orleans, it’s me going with the home team coming off a bye.
Pick: Saints -3

Jacksonville Jaguars at Kansas City Chiefs +2.5
Mazzone: The Jags haven’t played well coming off bye weeks under Jack Del Rio, and the Chiefs are fresh off two gutsy comeback wins. I really don’t feel good about either of these teams the rest of the season but with a half point in the line, there must be a winner.
Pick: Jags -2.5

Durden: Khalif Barnes is not a model citizen, and he almost literally drove that point home recently. This is not part of the plan for teams with early bye weeks such as the Jags, who now head to KC without Barnes and Meester on their offensive line, against a stout Chiefs defense. Even worse for them, the Chiefs offense may have actually woken up last week and plus, Eddie Kennison is still a threat in the National Football League…just ask him. "Eddie Kennison is still a big threat in the National Football League.” Kennison told the Kansas City Star.
Pick: Chiefs +2.5

Detroit Lions at Washington Redskins -3.5
Mazzone: Common sense would say that if it’s a high scoring game the Lions would win, and if it’s a low scoring game you might want to take the points. But, common sense has me 6 games behind in this competition. The Redskins have the secondary to matchup with the Lions, but they could struggle on offense if Moss is unable to go. I’ll take the home team, fresh off their bye, and pray I don’t get burned by that half point.
Pick: ‘Skin to win -3.5

Durden: Another home team coming off a bye, the Redskins not only have as much talent in their secondary as anybody to match up with the Lions pass game, but they’ve had the extra time to figure out how to contain it. I’m going to go with Washington in spite of their pathetic collapse against the Giants. I’m also going to go with Washington because the Lions showed last week they could be held in check, if only for three quarters. I don’t know how it happened, so I’ll let Rod Marinelli (kind of, but not really) explain it: "This game was probably like me -- ugly," Marinelli said. "It was also like me because it was a fight."
Pick: Redskins -3.5

Atlanta Falcons at Tennessee Titans -8.5
Mazzone: Vince Young may very well “just win football games”, but not typically by 9 points. Joey Heisman has been playing respectable football. Mike Vick is going to PETA meetings. The Falcons seemed to be turning things around, and I was all set to pick them. Then, I saw this video and couldn’t pick a team with a mascot that would break their own cheerleader’s spirit – on her birthday, no less. Then I watched it again, and I laughed, but still decided to go with the Titans.
Pick: Titans -8.5

Durden: Bobby Petrino, the Falcons' first-year coach, picked up his first NFL win on Sunday. He wore a white cap -- after going without anything on his head the previous week -- in hopes of changing the team's fortunes. "I'm not superstitious or anything," he said. "But I was changing it up until we got a win. You'll probably see the white hat for a while." No Bobby, we won’t. I’ll take any team that gets 2 weeks to prepare for Yoey Harrington and the Falcons.
Pick: Titans -8.5

Ronnie Brown at Houston Texans -5.5
Mazzone: My boy attempts to become just the second running back ever to gain 200+ yards from scrimmage in three straight games (Walter Payton). Houston’s offense is pretty banged up, but how healthy do you have to be to hand the ball off and watch your running back go? The Dolphins are allowing an astounding 199.2 yards per game on the ground. The last time anyone came within 25 yards of that was in 1987 (Falcons 182.3 ypg). If the Texans can limit Ronnie Brown, it’s probably over. If not, there’s hope, albeit very little, unless the defense gets its act together.
Pick: Ronnie Brown +5.5

Durden: We know technology is amazing, but check out what it can do for Jason Taylor: "You can Google all the negative emotions and they're all there for me." Jason Taylor told the Miami Herald following the loss to Oakland. Don’t worry though Dol-fans, I’m here to tell you what Joey Porter wants to tell you. The Texans WILL NOT cover on Sunday – I guarantee it.
Pick: Dolphins +5.5

Seattle Seahawks at Pittsburgh Steelers -6
Mazzone: There’s nothing quite like hyping up a regular season game as revenge for a championship loss. It will be interesting to see if Tomlin can get his team to rebound, and care about this game as much as those revenge-seeking Seahawks.
Pick: Seahawks +6

Durden: You want to crown the Steelers? Go ahead and crown their asses, but Pittsburgh is exactly who we thought they are, and Arizona did NOT let them off the hook!" Everyone forgets this but, the Seahawks were robbed of the Super Bowl just two seasons ago! I may have doubts about this Seattle team playing up to its potential, but I have faith that the Football Gods will at least throw them some breaks this time around. Sorry Pittsburgh, they can’t all be cupcakes.
Pick: Seahawks +6

Cleveland Browns at New England Patriots -16
Mazzone: I’ve had a complete change of heart with regards to the Browns from the beginning of the season. Not just because they’re playing better, but because it’d be such a great story if Brady Quinn was never able to beat out an over achieving Derek Anderson and was mired on the bench again next season. Braylon Edwards claims they match up well against the Pats, and with the Cowboys on deck this game screams “TRAP GAME” for the Patriots…just kidding, they’re nearly invincible right now...but I’m going to inexplicably take the points anyway.
Pick: Browns +16

Durden: The juices will be flowing on Sunday, and I’m not just talking about Rodney Harrison being back. Romeo Crennel returns to New England for what should be an ass-whoopin, though I have a feeling Belicheat may take it easy on him. It’s not strong enough though, as the Patriots haven’t won by less than 20 points yet, and I’m not picking the Browns to break that streak.
Pick: Patriots -16

Arizona Cardinals at St Louis Rams +3.5
Mazzone: No Anquan Boldin hurts the Cards, but no team is more ravaged by injuries on offense than the Rams. As much as the Cardinals are beatable, and the Rams have to win one somewhere, I wouldn’t be able to sleep at night if I advocated betting on Gus Frerotte minus an offensive line and Steven Jackson.
Pick: Cardinals -3.5

Durden: I refuse to take this platoon at QB seriously. Warner and Leinart are essentially the same QB: pocket passers who couldn’t beat Christopher Reeves in a foot race. So pick the better one and get on with it! Anyways, they head to St. Louis to face a Rams team that isn’t even worth talking about. Hopefully Fox preempts all Brenda Warner shots with a fair warning.
Pick: Cardinals -3.5

New York Jets at New York Giants -3.5
Mazzone: Wasn’t the Giants season done after week two? Now you could make a strong case for 6-2 before their bye. Thomas Jones and the Jets haven’t had a run longer than 12 yards all season (and they already played the worst run D in the NFL). Also, Jets fans cheer dead babies (scroll about 3/4ths of the way down on the link).
Pick: Giants -3.5

Durden: Chad Pennington said, "It's tough not to get happy feet, it's tough not to try to get rid of the ball earlier because of what's happened in the previous plays. That's the hardest thing." It’s not going to get any easier against an aggressive Giant defense, and I also expect the Giants to not struggle much on offense.
Pick: Giants -3.5

Tampa Bay Buccaneers at Indianapolis Colts -10
Mazzone: [Insert Caddy in the garage/car’s a lemon joke here] I’m excited to see more reruns of Earnest goes to the End Zone, but I’m also still hoping someone exposes the Bucs as the frauds I believe them to be. Who better to do that than Peyton Manning?
Pick: Colts -10

Durden: While I still maintain that the Colts are a “different animal” at home, you can’t ignore the injuries they suffered last week. In addition to losing Rob Morris and Bob Sanders, they could also be without Marvin Harrison and Joseph Addai. I still expect the Colts to win, but I do think the Bucs can keep it close.
Pick: Bucs +10

San Diego Chargers at Denver Broncos -1
Mazzone: Ironic that the same week a $3,000 billboard is unveiled encouraging Ricky Williams to play for the Broncos, their starting RB is busted by the NFL for smoking weed. Selvin Young’s 15 minutes of fame begin now. He can thank the curse for potentially ending yet another career.

And even though I don’t feel that good about the Chargers, I just feel like the curse may have changed targets from Brees to Keith's Broncos players. Travis Henry is injured and soon to be suspended. Jay Cutler’s not only hobbling, but the curse may even break up his parents, talk about unprecedented.
Pick: Chargers +1

Durden: The Broncos may have just lost Travis Henry, but it’s actually the Chargers’ season that’s up in smoke. Denver hasn’t been able to stop the run, but that shouldn’t keep Rivers and San Diego’s offense from failing to take advantage. I’m really not much more confident in the Broncos right now, but I’m done waiting for the Chargers to show us something. Hey, at least Merriman found the right time to turn the Lights Out on their season. MAR-TY! MAR-TY!
Pick: Broncos -1

Baltimore Ravens at San Francisco 49ers +3.5
Mazzone: 49ers porous run defense (130 yards per game allowed) has to find a way to stop McGahee while the Ravens (71 ypg) should be able to handle Gore, but have to find a way to stop…Trent Dilfer? Even so, they’re both unimpressive teams so I’m going with the home team, the points, and the best player in this game (Gore).
Pick: Niners +3.5

Durden: The 49ers should be in trouble, as the Ravens can stop the run and SF doesn’t have the speed/talent outside to help Dilfer get rid of the ball quickly. The Ravens should be in trouble because their QB is Steve McNair, they lead the league in penalties, and their defense continues to give up big plays. Baltimore badly needs to rebound from the embarrassing loss to the Browns so I can try and forget about last week. San Fran could probably use a rebound too, but I really don’t care.
Pick: Ravens -3.5

Chicago Bears at Green Bay Packers -3.5
Mazzone: Kurt Warner clearly got Brett Favre in touch with the Devil this offseason. So, now they’ve worked out a deal and every one of us is forced to put up with it the rest of the season. Fantastic.
Pick: Packers -3.5

Durden: Sometimes I wish I was a WR on the Packers, so that when Favre tried to pick me up, I could kick him in the face. Brett didn’t care about the record so much (the one that’s the sole reason he’s playing), that he went to the stands to celebrate with his wife and family, during the game. With that said, there was a tie this week for disturbing Favre-ism.

1a) ESPN’s Len Pasquarelli: “As he hiked up his pants on Sunday evening -- one leg at a time, it should be noted, for those Green Bay fans who believe their future Hall of Fame quarterback is a Superman in shoulder pads -- Brett Favre tore off the button on the waistband, and the pair of khakis slid all the way down to his knees.”

1b) Packer WR, Greg Jennings: "He makes us go, as he goes, we go. He puts the buzz in every one of us."

Sorry, but if I have to read this crap, then I have to bring as many people as I can down with me.
Pick: Packers -3.5

Dallas Cowboys at Buffalo Bills -10.5
Mazzone: Who’s psyched to re-live that one sided rivalry from the early 90’s?!?! NFL Schedule-makers, you fail. Dallas 52 – Buffalo 17 sounds familiar.
Pick: Cowboys -10.5

Durden: Best offense in the league meets the worst defense! Whose idea was it to put Buffalo on MNF??? I don’t know either, but it’s probably the same person whose idea it was to give us Giants @ Falcons next week. Well, at least the Cowboys will put on a show for us, and there is no way TO is held quiet two weeks in a row - most certainly not on Monday Night Football.
Pick: Cowboys -10.5

Bet safely, and always believe in football.

Spread 'em: Week 4 of the In-N-Out Challenge

With last week’s 7-6-3 record, Durden moved to two games over .500 for the season (22-20-6). As severely average as that is, it’s good enough for a commanding and embarrassing six cheeseburger lead over me. Fortunately, the season’s 17 weeks long, and I’m reminded of a quote from a very wise man. “It’s not a race, it’s a marathon!” EXACTLY.

Between the Mets, Dolphins, and my pick’em record, I was barely able to muster up the energy to get through these picks. Hopefully Durden will pick up the slack with regards to the entertainment value…

So, the bye weeks are upon us, and none too soon for the kursed Saints. I’m anxious to see what happens. Does the kurse take the week off? Does it find a new target (temporary or permanent)? Do the Saints somehow come out of their bye week 0-4? Only time will tell…

As for the teams that are playing, here’s your ticket to free money...

Oakland Raiders @ Miami Dolphins -4
Mazzone: The Miami defense thought this week was a good time to hold a meeting to try and solve the crappiness. Travis Daniels claims they have, “Everybody got together today and had our talk and we know what we've got to do…We're going to be clicking on all cylinders.” Nice of them to take the time to sort that out, I feel much better now. Joey Porter’s guaranteeing victory, “Write it how you want to write it. We will win on Sunday.” While Cam Cam said we might get a look at Cleo Lemon this week…on special teams. “…I say everybody is available. Now, is Cleo Lemon going to run down on a kickoff? He might, but we're going to do whatever we think we need to do to win a football game.” Who the hell knows.
Pick: Dolphins -4 (planning a game preview for Saturday)

Durden: I'm really not big on players making stupid guarantees, but I'll let Mazzone touch more on that in his Dolphins' preview. The real storyline for me is Daunte returning to Miami, and while I think he could be capable of pulling out a win on Sunday, it would really add salt to the already painful wound that was last week's loss for Dol-fans. I won't be rooting for that, and I really don't feel strongly enough about either team here, so I'm just going to stick with the (TPS) home team.
Pick: Dolphins -4

Houston Texans @ Atlanta Falcons +3
Mazzone: I have a bad feeling about this one. Aside from DeAngelo Hall, the Falcons almost looked like a professional football team last week. Due to injuries, the Texans best offensive weapon is now a 4^th string WR with a dislocated finger, never a good sign. I know most are expecting a big day, but I’m worried Schaub could be in for a dogfight (too soon?) and may try to do too much in his return to the ATL. I still think the Texans are in it for the long haul, but they could trip here and need to get healthy on offense. In related news, Vick is doing everything he can to get back to football ASAP.
Pick: Falcons +3

Durden: I really do think the Falcons are due for a surprise win or 2 before their bye week. That's not exactly going out on a limb though, since any win for them would be a surprise at this point. I'd also like to think the Football Gods cut Falcon fans some slack here and let them at least beat Matt Schaub, but I just can't pick Yoey Harrington. Plus, I gotta give Houston some credit for hanging tough against the Colts last week.
Pick: Texans -3

Baltimore Ravens @ Cleveland Browns +5
Mazzone: I ALWAYS get this game wrong. Over the last three years, I’d guess I was 0-6 against the number when these two teams play. In my defense, those games were quarterbacked by the likes of Kyle Boller, Anthony Wright, Steve McNair, Derek Anderson, Jeff Garcia, Charlie Frye – if you can figure those f#@*^&s out then you are a better man than I. Conventional wisdom tells me to just take the points and the home team, but since I’m always wrong on this game…
Pick: Ravens -5

Durden: I hate the Browns more than any other team, with only the Steelers even coming close. Instead of really getting into that though, I'll just leave you with a couple of recent quotes that will let you know where my head's at, regarding my pick.

- "That's what it smells like," Bart Scott said. "It's on a landfill that's toxic, and I think it gets to some of the fans' heads a little bit. They struck up the lake and put it on a landfill, and all of the algae and stuff is coming up through the end zone. "We're going to take some soil samples. Before I go out there and play on the field, I usually put some hydrocortisone on to make sure that I'll be straight when I hit the ground. They have a lot of staph infections out there.

- "Offensively, we couldn't get untracked," coach Romeo Crennel said. "Defensively, we couldn't stop them. They threw it, they ran it. We couldn't stop the run no matter what front we happened to be in. We were out of position a lot."
Pick: Ravens -5

Chicago Bears @ Detroit Lions +3
Mazzone: The focus will be on the QB change, where the Sex Cannon was moved to the bench in favor of Brian Griese, but the bigger problem going forward for the Bears will be the lack of healthy bodies on defense. Mike Brown’s on injured reserve along with Dusty Dvoracek, starting corners Nathan Vasher and Charles Tillman are both out this week (what do they plan to do against Martz’s 5 WR sets?), Urlacher, Briggs, and Alex Brown are all nursing injuries. In the past, it wouldn’t be a big deal to give some ailing players the week off with the Lions coming to town, but these aren’t your father’s Lions! I try to like Roy Williams but every time he opens his mouth he makes it damn near impossible.
Pick: Lions +3

Durden: Unlike Roy Wiliams, the Lions' defense is far from stingy. Hell, Bob Griese could probably suit up and do some serious damage on Sunday. However, the Bears' secondary (and defense, overall) is decimated with injuries, and that is especially bad news going on the road against the Lions' potent aerial attack.
Pick: Lions +3

Green Bay Packers @ Minnesota Vikings +2
Mazzone: I’m gonna let Darren Sharper’s comments in the Milwaukee Journal Sentinel handle this one for me:
“Former Packers safety Darren Sharper said the Vikings are well aware that quarterback Brett Favre has a good chance of breaking an NFL record inside the Metrodome.
"Yeah, he does," Sharper said. "He's three away."

Sharper, of course, was referring to the all-time NFL interception record Favre is closing in on, not the all-time touchdown mark. Sharper picked off Favre last year for the first time in a 9-7 loss at Lambeau Field and would like nothing more than to add to Favre's career total of 275.

"The interception record? That's the only record I'm thinking about," Sharper said.”

I couldn’t agree more, in fact, I’m hoping that third INT gets returned to the house so I can make jokes about Fav-ruh breaking the INT and TD records on the same play.
Pick: Vikings +2

Durden: Similar to the Lions in Week 1, the Packers won't be able to run on Minnesota, but they probably aren't planning on doing much running either. You can think the Vikings stand a chance this Sunday, or you can think like Packer LB Nick Barnett: "I thought we could be 3-0. I think we could be 16-0." By the way, here's the latest of Favre-ism (courtesy of Sean Salisbury): "He's got the guts of a burglar." Gotta go with the Pack again, but please, wake me when this dream start of theirs is over. Pick: Packers -2


TPS LOVES (read: loathes) people gushing over Favre.

St. Louis Rams @ Dallas Cowboys -13
Mazzone: Most of the offensive line is incapacitated, or at the very least, banged up. Marc Bulger is playing with broken ribs, Tory Holt with a bum knee, Steven Jackson is out with a torn groin and Brian Leonard is on Keith’s fantasy team. The Cowboys have already proven they can put up points, while the Rams are 29^th in points scored and don’t play much defense either. Outside of just having a hunch, or thinking Jacque Reeves is lining up at all 11 defensive positions, there’s no real reason to think this one won’t get ugly in a hurry.
Pick: Cowboys -13

Durden: I have an angry plea for Nike, on behalf of many fantasy owners: STOP SHOWING THE STEVEN JACKSON COMMERCIAL. The next time he hurdles over anybody this season, will probably be the first. In related news, the 2007 St. Louis Rams are dead to me and they shouldn't stand a chance at Dallas, especially with an injury list that seems to be growing exponentially.
Pick: Cowboys -13

New York Jets @ Buffalo Bills +3.5
Mazzone: The Bills are a complete mess, but this video is encouraging as it shows Kevin Everett’s fighting spirit has lead to astounding progress in his recovery…
Pick: Jets -3.5

Durden: The Bills are another team that has just been crushed by injuries. The difference between them and the Rams, is that the Bills never had a chance to be good in the first place. Maybe it's a sucker bet, but I don't see how the Bills should be getting anything less than 7 against non-comatose teams.
Pick: Jets -3.5

Tampa Bay Buccaneers @ Carolina Panthers -3
Mazzone: Say what you want about Tampa (and I have), but Chucky has this team playing some football despite a lack of talent. Combine that with the fact that there’s a good chance the guy on the right could be at QB for Carolina and it’s tough to like the Panthers. But, I’m really stubborn and refusing to buy into the Bucs, so…
Pick: Panthers -3

Durden: Ironically, a man known to some as Delhomo, may have drawn the ire of Village People fans everywhere. Jake, on coming out (of last week's game, not the closet): "It was just kind of bothering me a little bit," Delhomme said. "I didn't want to be macho." Unfortunately for Carolina, his backup has been seen exploring his femininity as well. I'll go with the team whose QB at least pretends he's a manly man's man.
Pick: Bucs +3

Seattle Seahawks @ San Francisco 49ers +1.5
Mazzone: I have nothing to say about this one as both teams are uninteresting and playing poorly, but are somehow 2-1. However, I do have an amusing article on dirty and racist race horse names.
Pick: Seahawks -1.5

Durden: Apparently, it's true that teams in the Northwest are completely ignored, because Seattle is a team that Keith has quietly been sabotaging since they reached the Super Bowl. Can anyone else explain how a team who has only bolstered an already talented roster (in a weak division/conference), has managed to actually get worse since they were robbed of the Super Bowl trophy?? Alexander and Branch have been two of Keith's best players, but instead of laying low, he snatched up their Defense this week. Still, I think the Kurse gives him a break this week, yet the Seahawks will keep this one far more interesting than it should be against an inferior 49er team.
Pick: Seahawks -1.5

Pittsburgh Steelers @ Arizona Cardinals +6
Mazzone: TPS has been saying all along that the Steelers won’t get tested ‘til about midseason. While that should be the case, if there was ever a let-down game in the works it’d be right here. This game means a lot more to Whisenhunt and Grimm than it does to Tomlin. The Cardinals haven’t been terrible (11^th in total offense/14^th in total defense), they just can’t put a full game together. Maybe a little extra motivation and preparation, along with home field advantage, will be what they need to make this one interesting.
Pick: Cardinals +6

Durden: When I cited Brenda Warner's love for God in Week 1 while discussing Jon Kitna's potential this season, due to his similarly fanatical faith, it may have actually woken up the Warners. Maybe nobody deserves to even be in the same sentence as the Warners when it comes to loving God. I mean, since then, Kitna's suffered a concussion that required a miracle to heal and the Cardinals have created a platoon situation at QB. Dear Tiny Jesus, in your golden fleece diapers with your tiny, little fat balled up fists, please make the damn Steelers lose for once. Ah, who am I kidding? God punishes Arizona for not giving K-Dub the start.
Pick: Steelers -6

Kansas City Chiefs @ San Diego Chargers -12.5
Mazzone: I went to war with the Chiefs in my survivor/suicide pool last week. To show my appreciation for their comeback win, I’m giving them 12.5 points this week. Which is generous, because without it, they’d probably end up with 3.
Pick: Chargers -12.5

Durden: This game is as good as any for the Chargers offense to break out. I really think the line is too high here, but if San Diego does indeed go off, it won't matter against with the Chiefs' miserable offense.
Pick: Chargers -12.5

Denver Broncos @ Indianapolis Colts -9.5
Mazzone: Hopefully Javon Walker, John Lynch, and Jay Cutler are able to play at close to full strength, otherwise it could be a long day. But, I do think the Broncos are better than they’ve shown and they have the DB’s to be able to keep Peyton in check… as much as you can keep Peyton in check, anyway. If you’re not sold on the Broncos, here’s an article about Peyton Manning and his boyfriend.
Pick: Broncos +9.5

Durden: While the Broncos are as equipped to handle the Colts' pass game as well as anyone, and should be able to run well on Indy, I'm simply tired of Denver letting me down. In spite of their 2-1 record, I still think they're far better than they've shown, but they're going to have to prove it first. The Colts have been in some close games themselves, but they're a different animal at home.
Pick: Colts -9.5

**Note: We never see each other’s picks/write-ups until they are posted. The similarities in this one are uncanny, and yet we picked different teams, go figure.

Philadelphia Eagles @ New York Giants +2.5
Mazzone: McNabb is coming off his perfect game, and the Giants off a stellar comeback. Has the Philly offense turned the corner? What about the Giants defense? It’s a critical game for both teams. A Giants win would turn the season around in a hurry as they’d be 2-2 with a schedule that shows five very winnable games (Jets, @ Falcons, 49ers, Dolphins in London) heading into their week 9 bye. What I don’t know is how effective B-rabbit will be with ailing ribs, if he plays at all. I also don’t know if McNabb will be able to find Curtis without the Non-hetero uniforms being on display. What I do know is Drew Brees is on a bye this week, and my cursed brother is a Giants fan that will be going to the game, you do the math.
Eagles 19- Giants 17 on the leg of David Akers 4 FGs including the game winner as time expires.
Pick: Giants +2.5

Durden: People said McNabb wasn't likely to be criticized after last week's performance, but I don't get it. Isn't he still black? Anyways, I'm actually going to be at this game and am very excited about it. Was Eli ever that injured to begin with? Regardless, he, Plax and Ward have really been the only Giants who have impressed me thus far, but if Manning has been throwing with a separated shoulder, he deserves more credit than he's gotten. For my own sake, I hope it's a close one but I would be surprised if the Eagles didn't win. This isn't to take away from New York's victory last week, but as much as the G-Men fought back, the Redskins were really pathetic in rolling over.
Pick: Eagles -2.5

New England Patriots @ Cincinnati Bengals +7.5
Mazzone: Good coaches win. Great coaches cover.
Pick: Patriots -7.5

Durden: After last week's game, Carson Palmer said he was "very disappointed not to get the ball back because we were going to take the ball down the field." Chad Johnson cockily added: "We could beat them on anything we wanted to beat them on." This was apparently on anything except in the game itself. Of course, I don't know why they bother explaining it because we probably just don't understand. It's probably only because I'm not capable of "understanding" the Bengals, but I see more of the same from the Patriots on MNF.
Pick: Patriots -7.5


Enjoy the games, bet safely (against me), and always believe in football.

Vegas Flexes its Muscles (week 3 roundup)

I’m told the house always wins. And unless you’re a fan of heart attacks, today was great reinforcement for why you shouldn’t bet on sports. Here’s a recap of some of the day’s biggest gambling events, before getting into some news and notes around the league.

Jacksonville 23 – Denver 14:
This game had to be responsible for at least one gambling related death today. The over/under ranged from 36 - 37.5 points depending on where you place your bets. The score was 20-14 with over 12 minutes to play. Those with the over were feeling great. That was until the Jags put together a 6 minute drive only to see Maurice Jones-Drew fumble at the Denver 2 yard line. All of the sudden those with the under were alive again and those with the over were sweating. Denver couldn’t get the offense going and failed to convert 4^th down from inside their ten. So, with two minutes to go Jacksonville would surely punch it in from the 4 making all over bets winners, right? Not a chance, the Jags were stuffed three straight times from inside the five and on 4^th and 1 from the one, elected to ice the game with a FG. Final total score of 37.

NYG 24 – Washington 17:
This was another brutal one on multiple levels. For those with the ‘Skins at -3.5, 4, 4.5, you were feeling good up 17-3 at the half and had hope throughout the game. Unfortunately, each play of the second half probably felt like slow twist of the knife into your stomach. The other part of this double whammy for the betting world was that the over under was set at anywhere from 40-42.5 depending on your sports book. Oh, and the game ended with the Redskins having first and goal from the 1 yard line of the Giants, and getting stopped four straight times. Final point total, 41.

Seattle 24 – Cincinnati 21:
The line was SEA -2.5, -3, -3.5. It’s never fun for gamblers when there’s a safety involved, but at least it came early enough in the game. This one was a heart breaker for other reasons.

The game winning TD came with a minute to go but there was still hope for those who bet on Cincinnati… or the over (ranging from 48-50 points). A last gasp drive by Carson and company for the game tying FG would ensure overtime and the “over”, as well as keep both teams chances of covering alive. That is, until the Bengals fumbled the ensuing kickoff, and Seattle recovered at the Bengals 33. But wait, they had 3 time outs so Seattle would have to try and move the ball, and maybe find the end zone or be forced to try a FG if the Bengals stopped them. After a run for no gain and a Bengals time out, Shaun Alexander broke off a 20 yard run to the Bengals 13-yard line… one play too late. Down to only two timeouts, Hasselbeck was able to kneel out the clock and end the game.

Oakland 26 – Cleveland 24:
The line was OAK -2.5, 3, 3.5. A Cleveland TD with three minutes to play made or broke this bet depending on which side you were on. Oh, and if you picked the Browns to win outright then you were certainly devastated when the game winning field goal was negated by a last second Lane Kiffin time out, only to see the re-kick get blocked and Oakland come away with the win.

Kansas City 13 – Minnesota 10:
Depending on your sports book the line was KC -3.5, 3, or 2.5.

NY Jets 31 - Miami 28:
The line was NYJ -3.5, 3, or 2.5. A Dolphins TD with one minute to play made the difference.

Indianapolis 30 – Houston 24:
It took a conversion on 4^th and 9 late in the fourth quarter to keep a Texan drive alive that ended with a touchdown to cut the lead to 6. The line on this one was Indy -5.5, 6, 6.5.

Dallas 34 - Chicago 10: over/under was 41.5.
With the Cowboys icing the game and just trying to wear down the clock, Marion Barber III broke off a 54 yard run to the goal line, and subsequent 1 yard TD run to push the point total from 37 to 44.

Baltimore 26 – Arizona 23:
Baltimore was up 26-3 (covering the 8 points) and in complete control in the fourth quarter before falling apart for the second straight week and winning by a mere field goal.

Other notes from around the league:

-What’s more likely… 16-0 Patriots or 0-16 Dolphins? Coaching and defense (or lack thereof) killed Miami yet again, while New England coasted with 35 unanswered points after falling behind Buffalo early.

-Matt Schaub and the Texans definitely struggled at times today, but they still managed to keep it a game with the Colts. They did so without their best player (Andre Johnson), and after losing Ahman Green (knee injury early in the 2^nd quarter), Jacoby Jones (separated shoulder in the third), Seth McKinney (sprained knee in the 4^th), and Cedric Killings (taken to the hospital after suffering a serious neck injury on special teams like the Bills Kevin Everett).

-Public displays of affection in Philly this weekend: Kitna was hooking up with Roy Williams all over the place. But the bigger story was that Donovan McNabb and Kevin Curtis must have taken their Cialis before the game because they hooked up 11 times (221 yards and 3 touchdowns)!

-I know someone in the top five was pretty much obligated to take Larry Johnson in their fantasy draft, but you couldn’t have felt good about it at the time, and it has to be even worse now. I see maybe 4 games where you can optimistically hope for something out of him that’s worthy of a top 5 pick. Not good business.

-How about Eli Manning and the Giants showing a little moxie to comeback in Washington.

-Tony Romo is the white Donovan McNabb. This is a good thing for Cowboys fans, because if you remember the only thing keeping McNabb from winning the big one a few years back, was that he was black.

-In other Cowboys news, can we stop pretending Julius Jones should be a significant part of the offense? MBIII is a beast.

-I really hope Calvin Johnson’s injury isn’t bad (and I don’t think it is). Not only because I like him, but also because I want Adrian Peterson to win the ROY fair and square.

-Durden was excited for this Yamon Figurs character all offseason, even more so after finding out he was faster than Devin Hester. Now we know why he was excited.

-Even I want Brian Griese to replace Grossman, and I don’t like the Bears. It’s just too painful to watch Grossman right now. As I said last week, it’s not even funny anymore, just sad.

-Steelers in the midst of the longest bye “week” in the history of the NFL, and it’s not scheduled to end until about Week 7.

-And finally, I’m going to save you the trouble of watching sports center.
Brett Favre Brett Favre Brett Favre Brett Favre Brett Favre Brett Favre Brett Favre Brett Favre Brett Favre Brett Favre Brett Favre Brett Favre Brett Favre Brett Favre Brett Favre Brett Favre Brett Favre Brett Favre Brett Favre Brett Favre Brett Favre Brett Favre Brett Favre Brett Favre Brett Favre Brett Favre Brett Favre Brett Favre Brett Favre Brett Favre Brett Favre Brett Favre Brett Favre Brett Favre Brett Favre Brett Favre Brett Favre Brett Favre Brett Favre Brett Favre Brett Favre Brett Favre Brett Favre Brett Favre Brett Favre Brett Favre Brett Favre Brett Favre Brett Favre Brett Favre Brett Favre Brett Favre Brett Favre Brett Favre Brett Favre Brett Favre!!!!!!!!!!!!

Spread'em: the In-N-Out Challenge

Ahhhhhhh, welcome back football.

First off, we’re not experts (we just play them on the Internet) and our advice should be taken no more seriously than Romeo Crennel takes his starting QB competition.

The challenge was created when I (Mazzone) moved from East coast to West coast and with the help of a friend back east (Durden) learned of the brilliance that is In-N-Out Burger. The person who wins this year long competition will receive an In-N-Out burger for each game they win by, paid for by the loser.


Don’t kill us too much for not picking your favorite team to win and cover the spread every week.

Enjoy the commentary, enjoy the games, and keep coming back for more.

(right click on the hyperlinks and open in a new window for additional entertainment throughout this blog)

New Orleans Saints @ Indianapolis Colts (-5.5)
Mazzone: Heck of a way to open the season. There’s really no explanation for picking against the defending Super Bowl champs at home when they have one of the greatest quarterbacks to ever play the game. So I’ll just say – I like watching Reggie Bush. Pick: Saints +5.5

Durden: Will Archie Manning attend with a paper bag over his head? More importantly, will this be the beginning of what I think should be a down year for the Colts? I'd feel even more confident about that if their division wasn't a joke, but in the meantime, look for the Saints to prevail in a shootout. Pick: Saints +5.5

Kansas City Chiefs @ Houston Texans (-3)
Mazzone: Last year the Texans were the “money” team for a coworker of mine (Teddy Ballgame). Ballgame’s either a little slow, or way ahead of his time - depending on who you ask. I think he was a year early on the Texans. I like Ahman Green to have a real nice year, Schaub to be more than serviceable with just enough weapons to make the Texans dangerous. .500 or better isn’t out of the question. Pick: Texans -3

Durden: This week's Gus Johnson Special! I expect both of these teams to be equally woeful on offense and defense this year, so unless Jac. Jones takes a kickoff to the house, I don't want to see a second of this game on Sunday. I'll give the edge to the Chiefs in an ugly one, but here's to Our Buddy Gus calling some better games this year. Pick: Chiefs +3

Denver Broncos @ Buffalo Bills (+3.5)
Mazzone: I think Champ Bailey is going to make it tough for the Bills to complete their signature play of Losman chucking it deep and hoping Lee Evans outruns everyone and catches it. Travis Henry always feels like he has something to prove, even moreso against the Bills. Expect him to celebrate a Broncos win by fathering his 10^th child from 10 different women.
Pick: Broncos -3.5

Durden: The Bills lost Clements, McGahee, Spikes and Fletcher, while overspending on a new Offensive Line. I'm typically inclined to ignore the Bills, but it's nice of them to make it easy on me. Only thing that could do the Broncos in is Cutler coming out impatient, but I think the Mastermind will have him prepared. Pick: Broncos -3.5

Pittsburgh Steelers @ Cleveland Browns (+4.5)
Mazzone: The Browns and their fans have high hopes for the future with Brady Quinn, Joe Thomas, Kamerion Wimbley, Braylon Edwards and the Soldier. The Steelers and their fans have high hopes for this game, because they’re playing the Browns. “Fast” Willie Parker and “Smiling” Hines Ward in a romp.
Pick: Steelers -4.5

Durden: There aren't two teams I hate more in the NFL. Unfortunately, I think Tomlin was the right hire for the McBeams and he should have them ready to come out flying on both sides of the ball. Crennel, on the other hand, resorts to coin tosses to determine his starting QB. Yes, really. 'Nuff said. Pick: Steelers -4.5

Tennessee Titans @ Jacksonville Jaguars (-6.5)
Mazzone: Committing to David Garrard is nice, but it’s not like he hasn’t had ample opportunity to run away with the job prior to now. That being said, I’m not exactly sold on the Titans being relevant either. Even though 6.5 seems like a lot of points and I’m told Vince Young just wins football games, I’m leaning the other way. The Jags were 6-2 at home last season, and all of their eight wins were by more than six points (surprised me too)… Pick: Jags -6.5

Durden: V Diddy's good, but I don't think it was necessary to turn up his degree of difficulty, which is exactly what the Titans did. The Jags will miss Brad Meester, but the Schedule Gods did them a favor in softening the blow, beginning with a nice win vs. the Titans. That VY's not gonna help them on Sunday, this one's going to hurt. Pick: Jags -6.5

Carolina Panthers @ St. Louis Rams (-1)
Mazzone: I know it’s only preseason, but Delhomme looked REAAAAAAAL bad (maybe the Rams D is the cure?). More importantly though, in 2005 a friend of ours (Dave) lost our survivor pool in week 1 when the Rams were upset by the 49ers. In 2006, Dave lasted until week 2…when the Rams were upset by the Niners. Who’s the Rams week 2 opponent in 2007 you ask?… the Niners. So, I like the Rams here and obviously the Niners next week. If Dave throws a curveball and takes the Rams this week in survivor, all bets are off. Pick: Rams -1

Durden: Tough game, but the Rams will go as Torry Holt will – giving himself up at three quarters strength. The Panthers should run wild and do just enough to keep S-Jax from taking over. Pick: Panthers +1

Philadelphia Eagles @ Green Bay Packers (+3)
Mazzone: Packers are probably the least likely of all the home underdogs to cover this week as all signs point to an Eagles route unless you’re concerned about McNabb’s health (I’m not. He’s on both my fantasy teams). That being said, opening week always has some odd results and this game gives me an inexplicable eerie feeling. I didn’t go with the other home dogs and it’s early in the season so I can afford to play a nonsensical hunch. Pick: Packers +3

Durden: Guess who's back?! Donovan at less than full strength is still better than the majority of the QBs in the league and we'll get to see just why the Eagles took Sidney Rice with their 1^st pick in the draft. Oh, wait. Well, Andy Reid and Kevin Kolb will look good together on the sidelines enjoying this one, as Green Bay's QB begins to ruin another Packer season. Pick: Eagles -3

Atlanta Falcons @ Minnesota Vikings (-3)
Mazzone: Part of me is wondering if Bobby Petrino is devising ways to throw the season so he can land Brian Brohm. Another part of me is wondering if he even has to. Adrian Peterson was capable of playing in the NFL three years ago. I feel like, after the injuries in subsequent years, no one remembers that. He and Chester Taylor give Tarvaris Jackson a chance to be successful. Pick: Vikings -3 (Peterson for rookie of the year)

Durden: The league's best run defense will force Yoey into doing Yoey things, and Tarvaris Jackson will kinda show us why he's almost for-real. If not, that Adrian Peterson kid is pretty good too. Dog days ahead for the ATL. Pick: Vikings -3

Miami Dolphins @ Washington Redskins (-3)
Mazzone: I have no idea who’s going to cover Santana Moss and I have no idea who’s going to get open against the loaded secondary of the Redskins. But I believe in Ronnie Brown, I believe in the Dolphins defensive front 7 and I’m ready to believe in Cam Cam and The Ginn Family. Pick: Dolphins +3

Durden: Ronnie Brown taking kicks to the house, Ginn catching 6 balls for 100 yards, Chambers setting downfield blocks for Chatman while he runs for 150, and Joey Porter picking off Campbell... twice. It's all going to be on display folks, and it's all by Cam Cam's design. Don't you dare suggest that I'm just saying that because Mazz is giving me some space on TPS. Pick: Dolphins +3

New England Patriots @ New York Jets (+6.5)
Mazzone: Being a Dolphin fan, I loathe this game. I always root for 0-0 tie where the teams just kick the crap out of each other for the whole game. That, and I root for Chad Pennington’s arm to come flying off while still holding the ball on a pass attempt. Romeo Crennel told me to just flip a coin… Pick: Patriots -6.5

Durden: This should be the beginning of a long season for the rest of the league. Mangina may have been able to think outside the box last year and screw the Pats, but they'll be overmatched and overwhelmed by New England this season. Pick: Patriots -6.5

Tampa Bay Buccaneers @ Seattle Seahawks (-6)
Mazzone: They say when you have 4 QB’s, you don’t have any. That couldn’t be more true in Gruden’s case, the Bucs are just hoping to get lucky with one of them at some point this season. Shaun Alexander’s primed for a huge season that should start here. The only thing in his way is “The Curse of Keith”. Every fantasy league has that one guy that just kills the season of whomever he drafts. My brother, Keith, has been that guy for awhile now and he’s got Shaun… good luck (more on the curse of Keith in future blogs). Pick: Seahawks -6

Durden: The Seahawks may have underachieved last year, but at least they had expectations. The Bucs are another team that inexplicably didn't do anything to truly improve themselves. Garcia's going to be running for his life all game as the Seahawks defense should actually be a strength this year with the addition of Kerney and Mora coaching the secondary. Pick: Seahawks -6

Chicago Bears @ San Diego Chargers (-6)
Mazzone: I live near Qualcomm Stadium and have 4 Bears fans staying in my apartment this weekend. I’ll toss on a Gates Jersey to taunt them a bit, but I think the Sex Cannon might have one of his games where people think “hmmm, he could still be good.” Pick: Da Bears +6

Durden: While the Bears will struggle on offense, the Chargers shouldn't have a problem setting up the pass by establishing the run early. San Diego simply has too many studs on both sides of the ball and Grossman obviously won't be able to save them as Benson struggles in his debut as the focus of their run game. Pick: Chargers -6

Detroit Lions @ Oakland Raiders (-2)
Mazzone: Roy Williams told me the Lions we’re “a good 3-13” last year and came close to scoring 40 pts several times despite what the scoreboard says. He also said “the score means nothing.” I disagree. Pick: Oakland -2


Durden: I feel good believing in Jon Kitna because he believes in God more than anyone not named Brenda Warner. Sure, the Raiders defense is good but Calvin's got a job now, and it's about to tear the Raiders apart. On a more unrelated note, I heard Lane Kiffin was in the hospital. Is he still old enough to qualify for Make a Wish? Pick: Lions +2

New York Giants @ Dallas Cowboys (-6)
Mazzone: I struggled picking this one. On one hand, I feel like Romo should have a field day with the Giants secondary. On the other hand, as long as Coughlin doesn’t force anyone else into retirement before kickoff I think the Giants should make a game of it as they usually do. Week one, divisional matchup…I’ll take the points in this one. Pick: Giants +6

Durden: I found it laughable when Tiki tried to address us all as a member of the media, but unfortunately for Eli, the G-Men won't be able to say they're fine without Tiki just yet. There are too many question marks for the Giants right now, and a healthy Burress is a must to beat the Cowboys. Carrie Underwood will be going home happy. Pick: Cowboys -6

Baltimore Ravens @ Cincinnati Bengals (-3)
Mazzone: Last year, the teams split. The Ravens won the high scoring battle at home and the Bengals won the low scoring game in Cincy, go figure. Shayne Graham is banged up, which isn’t good considering the Ravens allowed less than 13 points a game last season. Nonetheless, “he’s just a kicker” and Durden is a Baltimore fan so that solves this toss-up. I’ll give the points and take the Bengals at home. Pick: Bengals -3

Durden: In spite of multiple injury concerns that don't seem to be getting much press for some reason, I'm taking the good guys on my birthday. If they can at least contain The Chad and get ANYTHING out of the offense, it'll be a good Dos-Cinco for me. Pick: Ravens +3

Arizona Cardinals @ San Francisco 49ers (-3)
Mazzone: Remember that time the trendy pick went on to surprisingly disappoint the experts? This year’s trendy pick is San Francisco (a year too early). Pick: Cardinals +3

Durden: Gotta give props to the 49ers for showing other teams how to take care of biz in the offseason. Whisenhunt was another good hire this offseason, but the Cardinals still aren't ready to make the leap and I'm sure the Offensive Line's Grimm predicament isn't quite what he had in mind. The 49ers will come out strong and make a statement on MNF, leaving Whisenpants frustrated with his leaking team. Pick: 49ers -3

Double Double: In this segment Durden and I will each pick a two team parlay – usually including the spread. Occasionally we may go Animal Style and pick a couple of underdogs to win outright. Durden likes the heavy favorites this week. And, though I like the ‘hawks too, I’d be ridiculed if I didn’t go with the Texans after hyping them up during the preseason.

Durden: Seahawks (-6), Chargers (-6)
Mazzone: Houston (-3), Vikings (-3)

Bet safely, and always believe in football