That was my brother’s Yahoo! Smack talk on this somber Tuesday morning, and that pretty much sums up the feeling of everyone who’s been around the Kurse of Keith.
By now, you know the history of the Kurse and the names it’s taken out in the past (Shaun Alexander, Steve Smith, Deuce McAllister, Priest Holmes, just to name a few), and you know what it’s done to Drew Brees and the Saints this year.
If you recall, on opening day Keith was ready to shred all history of the Kurse. He was optimistic and proclaimed “Drew Brees is going to score so many fantasy points that he’s going to break stat tracker!” We all know how that turned out.
So, put yourself in Keith’s shoes for a minute. Here we are in week 3. You’re 0-2 (thanks in large part to Brees), and the Kurse has clearly established itself. The last time you had positive words for Brees in your smack talk was a complete disaster. You’re leading your fantasy matchup 98.48 to 95.59 and you still have Brees to play. Your opponent has Chris Brown. Even if Brown finds his way to the end zone (he didn’t), you would still likely have the upper hand as long as Brees didn’t totally implode (he did).
Even so, the obvious approach is to lay low, expect the worst, and just hope you are fortunate for once and eke out a win somehow, right? Well Keith, ever the King of Wishful Thinking, offered up the following smack talk throughout the day on Monday.
5:09 PM Durden: I think Keith doesn’t understand the kurse
5:11 PM Mazzone: why not?
5:12 PM Durden: haha, he’s talking about a win being in sight
Mazzone: yea, but he wins a few games a year and even made the playoffs once, in spite of the kurse…
5:13 PM Mazzone: but damn, you have to figure Brees for negative points tonight, no?
Durden: well, that's what I’m saying...if I’m Keith, I do not think a win is "in sight" until I actually see it
So, while the train wreck that ensued was not exactly a surprise, it was still painful to watch. So much so, that I turned away at half time and left NFL.com game cast and Durden to update me on the happenings. It was especially brutal for me, even though I wasn’t involved in the fantasy matchup, because I had seen this before.
Last year, I had a sizeable lead in a matchup going into MNF and I started Rex Grossman over Matt Leinart in the “They are who we thought they were!” game. The Sex Cannon lost me the matchup with this line: 14 for 37, 144 yards, 4 INTs, 2 sacks, 2 fumbles. I told Durden after just two Saints offensive possessions that it felt like that night all over again. Brees’ line wasn’t as bad as Sexy Rexy’s, but it will still make you cringe: 29 for 45, 225 yards, 4 INTs, 1 sack, 1 fumble.
To make matters worse, my brother's fantasy matchup was going back and forth all night. With 5 minutes left in the game Keith took the lead on six consecutive Drew Brees completions. Only to see the 7th pass attempt of the drive result in an interception, putting him behind again with just three minutes left. Believe it or not, the good news was that the pick went to the house so, instead of the Titans killing the clock, Brees would get the ball back with one last chance to salvage a win for team Gecko.
This time, Brees rattled off five consecutive completions and Keith had regained the lead with a mere 1:25 to play! When Lance Moore dropped the next pass it seemed like a minor setback to the average person, but those of us who know Keith and the Kurse, knew better. That drop signaled the beginning of the end. And on the next play, Brees’ pass found the Titans KEITH Bullock for the 3rd time in the game. Bringing new meaning to the Kurse of Keith and providing a fitting end to the night, as that 16th incompletion and 4th interception dropped team Gecko to 0-3.
It truly is amazing, and if you aren’t a believer by now then you’re just being stubborn. So, without further ado it’s this week’s Kurse Watch, with an interesting developing story line NOT involving Drew Brees…
As always, adjust your rosters accordingly…
Start planning your retirement.
Drew Brees’ family, friends, pets, teammates, high school classmates… At this point, no one is safe. Just ask Deuce McAllister who tore his ACL trying to haul in a Brees pass. It’s the second time McAllister has fallen victim to the Kurse.
Quick, fake an injury!
It might be too late for Lee Evans (occupied this spot last week), who has 5 catches for 29 yards on the season, but it’s not too late for Jay Cutler. Jay - Drew Brees is on a bye this week, and you’re Keith’s backup QB. Do yourself a favor and tweak a hamstring in practice. Or maybe, sprain an ankle?
1-2, he's comin' for you...
A little background on this one: Everyone in our fantasy league is from New Jersey, Keith completed grad school at Rutgers and owns a #23 Scarlet Knights Jersey. Long a fan of Brian Leonard, Keith drafted him this year - only to have to cut him after the first couple weeks. Naturally, SJax goes down after Keith cuts Leonard.
Fortunately for Keith, not so much for Brian, team Gecko added Leonard to the mix off waivers this morning. This IMMEDIATELY sparked a “FREE BRIAN LEONARD” campaign in our league chat. No one is excited about the impending doom hovering over the Great White Hope from New Jersey. Here’s a copy of what’s transpired so far:
Poor Brian Leonard
Posted by: Dave (White WRs/Black QBs) Sep 25 1:29pm
On a day that should be so exciting for Brian Leonard, he suffers the misfortune of being picked up by Keith. Any chance of Brian stepping in for Steven Jackson and performing well has now gone out the window. Keith, I know that you love some Brian Leonard, but sometimes when you love something, you have to let it go. Let Brian go. It's his only chance of becoming a player in the National Football League. If you keep him on your roster, he will surely be cut prior to next season after disappointing with a 1.2 ypc average and at least 7 fumbles lost. Things can only be worse for him if you decide to play him, as a career ending injury is sure to follow. So Keith, I ask you, as a fellow fan of Brian Leonard, the Great White Hope for Running Backs, LET HIM GO, Please, let him go.
Re: Poor Brian Leonard
Posted by: Rory (BoobieTassles) Sep 25 1:40pm
I second Dave's heartfelt plea.
Posted by: durden (Makin It Reign) Sep 25 2:14pm
I've never encountered something like this as commish before...is this a FREE Brian Leonard campaign?!
Do t-shirts need to get made?
Re: Poor Brian Leonard
Posted by: Mazzone(Tropical Storm Chris) Sep 25 2:14pm
I didn't want to be the first to say it but Durden and I talked about this after hearing of SJax's injury. The initial hope was that since Keith cut Leonard he would be penalized by the Kurse in that Brees would do just enough to win last night so Keith couldn't get Leonard in waivers...
Since that didn't happen I've already begun mourning the upcoming Brian Leonard injury. Terrible news.
So there you have it, Brian. We’re all rooting for you, but be careful, be very very careful.
***Update*** There are rumors coming from an anonymous source close to the situation that Keith is attempting to trade Brian Leonard before the weekend in hopes of saving his career. I’ll keep you posted.
Shaun Alexander: You know it’s bad when the person appearing under “Safe for now” is a running back playing with a broken wrist. 300 yards and 2 TDs isn’t Shaun Alexander-like, but it’s not terrible with a broken wrist and we’re not going to give up on him just yet as he seems determined to beat the Kurse.
I'm a Survivor!
Randy Moss: On his way to 17 consecutive weeks here.
I have nothing left to say. I can’t even really blame Keith if he doesn’t believe in football anymore…