Monday, September 24, 2007

He said what?!

If there were any non-believers in the Kurse going into tonight, there are no more or certainly won’t be after tomorrow. I will cover the details in the Wednesday weekly Kurse watch, but it’s not going to be pretty. Along the same lines of watching Rex Grossman, it’s hard for me to find humor in it anymore. It makes me a little sick to my stomach just thinking about the latest chapter in the Kurse of Keith…

On a brighter note (at least for me), those of you that enjoyed my fantasy football disaster last week that brought a name change from Hurricane Chris to Tropical Storm Chris (zero touchdowns in my starting lineup and only two TD’s on my total roster of 15 offensive players) will be disappointed to hear that this week offered up a much different scenario, as expected.

I couldn’t even find room in my lineup for all my studs, as the same 15 offensive players accounted for 19 TDs, a two point conversion, and a boat load of yards en route to being the highest scoring lineup in the league for week 3. Back in biz!

If Archie Manning had a sense of humor he would have tried to kiss Suzy Kolber like I had hoped. But, since he didn't, I don’t have anything else to share about the game until tomorrow's Kurse watch. So, here are some fun quotes from around the sports world this week, but first we'll kick it off with a non-sports related personal favorite...

"I was in a casino. I was standing by the door, and a security guard came over and said

'You're gonna have to move. You're blocking the fire exit.'

As though if there was a fire, I wasn't gonna run. If you are flammable and have legs, then you are never blocking a fire exit...

You can write that down and put a dash in front of it, and put my name at the bottom."
-the late Mitch Hedberg

“I’m just going to strike out a lot,” he said. “I always lead every league I’m in in strikeouts, so I figure if it’s the major leagues, at least that’s the best league. It’s better than leading the Pacific Coast League.”
- Jack Cust
After playing in just 118 games and striking out 154 times, most in the American League

"I didn't get to the quarterback. I suck right now. So there. There's your headline.''
-Jason Taylor
After, well, sucking for the third straight game..

"This decision lacks integrity, and it lacks ethics.''
- Daryl Johnston after Dallas signed troubled defensive tackle Tank Johnson.
Oh really?! Should we remind DJ of some of the guys he has to thank for his Super Bowl titles?

"Brett Favre will be 38 in October... October 10th should be a national holiday, by the way."
-Chris Berman
Not realizing how sick everyone is with regards to the polyandrous relationship he, John Madden, and the rest of the media have with Brett Favre.

"Here's the concern -- in our society now, so many things come up on Web sites and Internet," Edwards said. "First of all, I don't even have the Internet. I wouldn't even know how to use it."
-Chiefs Head Coach Herman Edwards
Suddenly everything makes sense. I imagine something like this… “So many people are focused on managing the clock these days. I don’t even know how to tell time.”

"The best way I can describe it is it felt like somebody bungee jumped off my right nut."
-Ken Griffey Junior describing his recent abdominal injury

"The thing that makes me laugh is what so many players and coaches have said about us having their plays. Like the Eagles saying we knew everything that was coming in the Super Bowl because we ran so many screens. Give me a break. Of course we ran all those screens! They blitz on every down!''
-Tom Brady
I hate the guy, but that’s a valid argument.

And finally, this exchange happened in OVERTIME of a huge game, and we have the mind boggling video to prove it.
Mike Patrick: I’ve got an important question.
Todd Blackledge: "Go ahead."
Patrick: "What is Britney doing with her life?"
Blackledge: "Who?"
Patrick: "Britney!"
Blackledge: "Britney who?"
Patrick: "Spears…What's she doing with her career?"
Blackledge: "Why do we care at this point? …Is she here?"
Patrick: “I don’t think so.”
Blackledge: “Is she a football fan?”
Patrick: “Oh, I’m sure she is.”…Georgia from the 25…Stafford want’s it aaaallll, TOUCHDOWN!

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